Walking Barefoot With The Night

י'ט בתשרי תשס"ח

Last night, I sat outside in the dark.

Smelled deeply the wood. Caressed its surface, so real. Felt the cool gentle breeze on my face. Listened to the sounds of the night. Walked barefoot in the moist grass. Wiggled my toes in it. And wept speaking with the peeking spirits who surround.

Who have I become? Does it really matter?

Whomever I have become, I have not changed.

I have found.

Anarchy

י'ט בתשרי תשס"ח

Did you know that "anarchy" can be a sign of evolved community consciousness? It can. I found this reading about Celtic faeries (nature spirits):

Trooping faeries' social and political organization is not like any known to our human cultures. In Ireland and Scotland, the Tuatha de Danann and the Gnomes have a hierarchy of kings and queens, but most faery bands seem to rule by consensus, if there is any rule at all. It is more more likely that faeries live in a state of anarchy. This is not the anarchy that modern societies fear in which there is mass mob rule and violent deviations from accepted norms. That is not anarchy. That is chaos. Anarchy simply means "without law," and in no way does it imply living without conscience or self-responsibility. Faeries living in this manner have evolved far beyond human beings. Each one accepts the tenet, aids other faeries, and is able to live in a faery community without the faery police hiding behind each elm leaf looking for violators of arbitrary and controlling policies. [from A Witch's Guide To Faery Folk by Edain McCoy]

This vision of a faery community sounds messianic - all fit together and do what is needed of their own initiative so well that no law is required. Anarchy is not inherently bad or necessarily an inferior way of living. Of course, such an evolved form of government requires an equally evolved community consciousness of evolved individuals.

Games People Play

י'ח בתשרי תשס"ח

I dreamt.

Times and places were superposed. The events in the scenes were archetypal, yet 3 particular individuals came out of the complexity to show me the story.

A peaceful herd of primeval mystical yet physical elephant-like creatures of time were grazing on a plain. A Voice in the atmosphere explained to me how the female elephant-like creatures gave birth each to her one baby through a hole which opened up on the top of her back during the birth process. The Voice further explained that this was because the females of the herd so often had to give birth "on the run". Had the birthing process been any other way, the mystically beautiful elephant-like creatures would have become extinct. And this is why ...

I saw that the herd migrations were usually forced in a game humans played similar to "running with the bulls". Only, in this game, it was a chariot chasing event. Human couples made community sport by stampeding the herd with their chariots. The human couples had no care that many of the newly emerging creature babies would fall off the back of its mother as she ran to escape death by those humans in the chariots. This was because as the creature baby was emerging from the birth hole on its mother's back, it rigidly and unstably stuck straight up into the air and was susceptible to being blown off by running against the wind as the herd tried to escape.

When a creature baby fell off, the many human couples in the game ran over it with their chariot wheels. I was horrified to see this happen over and over. I saw one of the creatures babies escape death by chariot wheels.

Off to the side of the sporting place, the creature baby turned into a man. One chariot couple came over to him. The couple were dressed like a two from a black and white Humphrey Bogart movie from the 1940's. He wore a black business suit hat and she wore her hair like starlets did in that era.

The couple approached the man who had been a surviving creature baby. The couple-man demanded survival-redemption money in the amount of "twenty" from the creature-man. The couple-man indicated that the creature-man should give "twenty" to the couple-woman, as payment to her for not being killed in the chariot race, for escaping. The couple believed the creature-man to be of subhuman value. They believed the creatures to be of animal intelligence, while they themselves were of human intelligence. As human intelligences, the two believed the creature owed them the survival "price" of animal intelligence, namely "twenty". If the creature-man refused to pay them "twenty", they as humans, had the divine right to snuff out his life. They believed.

The creature-man looked with astounding intelligence at the couple standing there waiting for him to give the woman the demanded survival payment. Let me tell you a story, he told the two.

The creature-man told a beautiful story, brilliantly illustrating indirectly the Divine Intelligence of both humans and the creatures they killed - there was no essential difference between humans and the elephant-like creatures. All were made with the essence of the Divine Intelligence.

The couple were not "getting" the implied message of the creature-man's story. The message made no impression upon their consciousnesses. He could see that they could not see. As he backed away from the couple, he told the last satiric line of his story - "and the difference between us is twenty." The creature-man turned and walked away into the darkness.

I woke up.

Al Ananei Shmaya

ט"ז בתשרי תשס"ח

I dreamt.

I was being taught one-to-one very important information about the "kinds" (like "overspecies") of clouds. As I watched, different classes of clouds would be "called up". The clouds were "alive" with the collective consciousness of the universes.

At each call, each class of clouds would come before my teacher and I. As they came before us, my teacher would give over to me all the laws governing each cloud class, detailing everything there was to know and understand about it. All the mass of clouds within each class then rose up to very edge of All levels of existence to receive from beyond the square-like sparkling pure gold-rimmed hole in the center of All and cycled back into being.

Beyond the All with a hole in its top, I could see that it was not dark. Nor was it light. It was not nothing, but it was not something either. It didn't exist, but clearly it didn't not exist either, as I perceived yet did not perceive it concretely. Even in the dream, I knew the "identity" of that beyond the square-like sparkling gold-rimmed hole was Ein Sof. My teacher did not tell me, but I knew it.

As I decided I knew it, my teacher silently emphasized the importance of the information he was transmitting to me. I silently acknowledged that I understood. My teacher silently acknowledged he understood.

I woke up.

This dream about the clouds of heaven (ananei shmaya), transmitting tradition and Ein Sof is connected to my earlier entries concerning Ani, Anu and my name Ann:

Mesirut Nefesh Of The Goat For Azazel
Bringing Down Divine Knowledge

Related poem on my musical website:

D'Bir, Holy Of Holies

End Of The Dead End

י"א בתשרי תשס"ח

Today's Hebrew letter tarot reading, performed during the planetary hour of Venus with the waxing gibbous moon 88% (חף, pure, innocent, blameless, guiltless, inculpable) full:

פצת

The intended injury פצע was sealed by truth, and prevented by the mark of righteousness, the letter ת. Neither my keys nor I were dispersed (פץ) into dark oblivion (see previous entry). The ע opened (where an ע is composed of נו with a gematria of 56), saw the truth, and caused the sand to come (אנה meaning "caused to come", also with a gematria of 56 and the shoresh of my Celtic middle name Ann as described in Bringing Down Divine Knowledge).

And if a man lie not in wait, but God cause it to come to hand; then I will appoint thee a place whither he may flee.
Shemot 21:13

The terror has not terrified me, I bear the pressure upon me. Hear! the voice of my words, I am clean, without transgression, neither is there iniquity in me. Open! the ears of men, Seal! the decree, that men may put away their ill-purpose.
Iyov 33:7-17

Hidden Treasures Of The Sand

י"א בתשרי תשס"ח

I dreamt.

In my car, I fled being "caught" by the family of a woman I had been visiting.

She was learning from me and the family didn't like it, even though I wasn't teaching her intentionally. She had more or less tricked me, telling me she was sick. In my mind, I was visiting a sick woman who needed my help. I didn't particularly want to be there at her house. We weren't close friends. I was doing a mitzvah by helping her.

She was sick - that was the truth. But she didn't need my help - that was not the truth. She had family who could help her. More importantly, the family had not wanted me to help her - the woman knew this but I had not, until I needed to flee from them when they came to visit her while I was there. The woman hid me from them and sent them on an errand to give me a chance to escape. But, they knew I was there. Nevertheless, to save the woman (not me) from the embarrassment and shame she would be forced to endure by being caught with me there against the family's wishes, they went on the errand for her.

It was just before dawn in the morning.

While they wanted to protect the woman, they wanted me dead. On the way out to run the errand, a family member of the the woman tried to prevent my "safe" escape by knocking down the board on the enclosed porch where my keys always hung during visits. Somehow, knocking down the board would have caused my keys to be "lost" (had my keys been on that board). It was almost as if he thought I too would be "lost to oblivion" along with my keys through the act of not being able to find my keys - as if I would "follow" my keys into the abyss of absolutely nothing. Only this time, this one time, I had not put my keys on the usual board - I had hung them up on another board. So, I had access to the keys to my car in which to "safely" escape.

Yet, in addition to trying to "lose" my keys, the family member had also broke my brakes and acceleration pedal, so that when I backed my car out of the driveway, my car wouldn't stop when I put on the brakes to shift it's direction forward. Not only would my car not stop, but it sped up as well.

I sped dangerously in reverse toward a bridge over a river in the darkness. I was steering in reverse. As I turned my head to guide my car over the bridge, I saw that the bridge was out. Half the bridge was gone, ripped out, torn in half. I was going to plunge into dark oblivion after all!

Nevertheless, I didn't give up steering my car faithfully down the middle of the bridge, even seeing the dead end coming up fast. I would steer my car clear up to the end - no matter the result. I kept both hands on the wheel, steering it "safely" with focused singleminded intent to avoid a collision with the hard steel sides of the bridge.

I prepared myself mentally for the plunge into dark oblivion. It never came.

As I arrived at the edge, where the second half of the bridge had been ripped off, a bar of sand (חול) materialized. My car came to a steady gentle halt upon firm land. There were workmen there on the sand which now formed the opposite landbank. They were surprised to see me, yet they were not surprised at all. They said "no one else has ever survived this before." No one else had ever "arrived" upon the sand before - all before had crashed into the sides of the bridge or plunged with uncontrolled terror over the ripped off edge of the bridge into dark oblivion. Except me. I had arrived.

I woke up.

And of Zebulun he said: Rejoice, Zebulun, in thy going out, and, Issachar, in thy tents. They shall call peoples unto the mountain; there shall they offer sacrifices of righteousness; for they shall suck the abundance of the seas, and the hidden treasures of the sand.

Devarim 33:18-19

As I wrote in Two Goats, Nogeáh V'eino Nogeáh:

(My story) has newly begun. Walking On Fire is a living witness to that which began over a decade ago, and to the brilliantly transformative power singularly tied to the higher service (mesirut nefesh) of the goat for Azazel - אתהפכא חשוכא לנהורא

The "sand" confirms it. The Hebrew word sand חול is from the shoresh חול meaning "starting", "beginning", "entering" and "prospering".

Bringing Down Divine Knowledge

י"א בתשרי תשס"ח

In follow-up to my recent post (Dew Of Night) about being rescued by a mystical woman made of faerie folk (the Tuatha Dé Danann of the Druids), I first note that my Celtic middle name is Ann. Ann is a form of the name of the Celtic goddess Anu (also known as Danu, Dannan, Danand, Ana), mother goddess of the Tuatha Dé Danann. (Interestingly, Anu is also the name of a Semitic Akkadian god.)

Anu (אנו) is an extension of Ani ("I", אני a channel of Adonai) into further existence, from Ein Sof-Atzilut (י) into Yetzirah (ו). Ann (אנן) is formed through an extension of feminine intelligence (Binah of Beriyah) acting on the Hebrew letter vav (ו in Yetzirah) of Anu, changing it into a nun sofit (ן of Beriyah and/into Assiyah). A nun sofit implies an essence of "everlasting eternal faithfulness". Thus, my Celtic middle name Ann incorporates into it a line of acting feminine intelligence (emerging out of Aur Ein Sof) extending with everlasting eternal faithfulness throughout all 4 universes into physical reality.

Secondly and importantly, my name אנן like אני, is from the shoresh אנה meaning to "cause", "direct to a goal", "acknowledgement and "gratitude". Thus, I am a living embodiment of the Modah Ani prayer, the first prayer (of gratitude) we say in the morning immediately upon waking. The nun sofit in my name Ann is one tool through which I awakened from the dream described in Two Goats, Nogeáh V'eino Nogeáh .

Thirdly, through my name Ann, I am also a living embodiment of the Anu archetype, mother-goddess of the Tuatha Dé Danann who bring the Stone Of Fal (Lia Fal, prophetic stone of Destiny/Knowledge) to life. Yet, in addition to being Celtic, I am also Jewish. Thus, reflecting these two aspects of my unique identity, the stone I bring has a doubled letter "l" (lamed ל, learning/teaching); the stone I bring is this, my chotimah - Stone of FLL, in Hebrew:

גלעין (stone/kernel/revealing)
פלל (bringing together, mediating, judging, bringing down Divine Knowledge)



Modah ani l'fanecha melech hai v'kayam shehehezarta bi nishmati b'hemlah rabah emunatecha.

Mesirut Nefesh Of The Goat For Azazel

ט' בתשרי תשס"ח

In follow-up to the Two Goats post regarding my mountaintop vision on the eighth day of Tishrei, kabbalah explains:

On the eighth day our service goes beyond the limits of the world. We step past all obstacles: those presented by evil, by our limited intellect, and even the limitations of the world as they are found in Torah, and reveal a service that is infinite, the service of Mesirut Nefesh (self-sacrifice).

An old poem of mine originally published on my musical website, entitled
Mesirut Nefesh, Modah Ani:

ever in my ear, a feast absolutely senseless, with a holy madness
seizing the moments, turning over time, plunging into history
one sight, one mind, our bodyguard
the curious melody that plays your heartsound, a mystery mark
weaving secretly through mine
upon reverberating strings jeweled with a rhythm of the land
smelling darkly deep, a resurrecting wine fully alive
aged on the way, homeward bound
body and soul, dancing like lovers with eternal breath
a song between two old friends
an extraordinary ordinary treasure
resting plainly like a tool within some wooden dreambox
gently blowing
the most beautiful light of midnight

Mabon & The Shema

Repost slightly modified from August 12, 2007.

ט' בתשרי תשס"ח

In addition to the High Holy Days of Judaism, the Jewitch's Celtic festival of Mabon also occurs in September (21-23). Astronomical Mabon (the autumnal equinox) this year occurs on September 23rd in my location. It is believed that the name of the festival is derived from the figure Mabon ap Modron of Welsh mythology.

However it may or may not have been derived, transliterated into Hebrew, mabon means "from בון". In turn, the shoresh בון means to "mediate" and to be "in between" two distinctly separate entities. In other words, it stands like Binah, as a Unity of complex Plurality, in Malchut. שמע From such is True Understanding built.

Thus, the festival of Mabon is reishit, a Gate of Unity and Emunah, mystically embodying the Shema in its purpose - to unify plurality, making a Dwelling for the Divine in this lowest world of reality.

ברוך שם כבוד מלכותו לעולם ועד

Dew Of Night

ט' בתשרי תשס"ח

I dreamt.

Someone I couldn't see was intentionally changing a baby within the place I was at into a deadly black spider to attack me. Suddenly, as the black spider formed the fetch made of many small beads of black was morphing into a giant deadly form, something mysterious flew through my house, carrying the poisonous black beads out with it. The spider form was no more, and outside in the street, the now black droplets like dew of night transformed into the form of a giant woman made of many faeries.

The beautiful faeries like dew from the mountain (see Mind On The Mountaintop) were not poisonous to me as was the black prayer-beaded spider form. The faery woman was out walking with deliberation, entering into a town, down a street heading to who knows where.

I woke up.

I don't use prayer beads at all. More importantly, the black I wear is pure.

Two Goats, Nogeáh V'eino Nogeáh

ט' בתשרי תשס"ח

In follow-up to my previous entry (Mind On The Mountaintop) for Erev Yom Kippur, I noted in the comments to that entry my dream from a day or two earlier:

I had a dream. I accidentally drove over a cliff on a curving mountain road. It wasn't a scary dream. I was very objective through it and thought "I'm not going survive this." So, I said the Shema in the dream. Then I woke up. I had been driving down the mountain from the top.

Michael Berg, of the infamous Kabbalah Centre, writes about A Great Secret Of Yom Kippur:

There is a first part of the reading. It speaks about the death of Nadav and Avihu, the two children of Aaron. Why do we read about the death of the two children of Aaron on Yom Kippur? We know there are no coincidences. There is a reason this story precedes the discussion of the process of Yom Kippur.

Rabbi Berg goes on to write:

We also know today is the death anniversary of Rabbi Akiva, the death anniversary of Rav Ashlag. All those three are not a coincidence.

How do we understand that and how do we put it together? It says that when Rabbi Akiva was about to leave this world, it was a time when the Romans ruled the land of Israel. They did not want Rabbi Akiva to continue to teach, but he did, and was captured by the Romans.

The story is the Romans took combs of steel and were scraping his skin from his body to make his death what they thought was the most torturous possible.

As this process was happening, Rabbi Akiva began to say the Sh’ma. As he was beginning the process of leaving this world, his students said, don’t continue the prayer. Because they knew if he completed the prayer he would leave this world.

Rabbi Akiva said, all my life I have been waiting and worried about this verse, which speaks about giving over ourselves completely. When will I be able to completely do this process? Now I have the opportunity. How can I give it up?

Rabbi Akiva ended the Sh’ma and, as he said the word echad, his soul left.

So why did I wake up after saying the Shema in my dream? ס

The kabbalists teach a very interesting concept, that every action we do of sharing, of connection, is an action that has within it the power to achieve complete dvchut, complete union with the Light of the Creator. Not only that, the truly righteous, the true kabbalists, did that. When they came to the morning connection, they would put all of their life force into that connection. So how did they stay alive after the prayer?

The kabbalists teach that within the action itself is Light that returns the soul to the body. Because it’s a day to talk about truly high concepts, the true kabbalists completely gave themselves over in every connection that they made. They made that union, that dvchut, in every action of connection. Their entire being, their entire soul, went into that action.

The only reason their soul came back to their body is because the Light shines back to them. This is a battle for true righteous people to hold themselves back and keep their soul in their body. When they made that connection to the Light within the action, their soul wanted to connect completely. For a kabbalist, a truly righteous person, the physical body limits their ability to connect to the Light. They never want to return to their body after they make a connection, but the Creator says, you still have a job to do in your body.

As I wrote when describing my story in the comments over at DovBear:

This story isn't over yet.

It has newly begun. Walking On Fire is a living witness to that which began over a decade ago, and to the brilliantly transformative power singularly tied to the higher service (mesirut nefesh) of the goat for Azazel - אתהפכא חשוכא לנהורא.

The two goats are One on the mountain of paradox, walking the earth yet hovering the summit, touching yet not touching. חי

My vision of the Mountain of Paradox, like a visionary brit milah, occurred on the eighth day of Tishrei. I wrote of and elucidated it on the ninth day of Tishrei. I woke up from my dream, so I imagine that unlike Rabbi Akiva at the hands of the Romans centuries ago, I will awaken still among the living tomorrow on the tenth day of Tishrei as well. חי

Mind On The Mountaintop

ט' בתשרי תשס"ח

Driving in my car this morning in the flat midwest, an unusual sight in the sky caught my attention. The clouds, sky and hidden sun all came together in such a manner that they starkly formed what appeared to be a mountaintop with a brilliant light resting on its peak. It wasn't a wispy or fleeting sight. The edges of the "lit mountaintop" were crisply crafted, radiantly clear and remained "formed" for several minutes, beckoning as if mindfully reaching for my attention. It was conscious of me. I was conscious of it.

Cashmere Kabbalah

ד' בתשרי תשס"ח

The kabbalah conference in Israel held over Rosh Hashanah has been discussed all over the blogosphere and news. I had no intention of adding anything to the proliferation. But, I just found this interesting little tidbit that connects to me and changed my mind - the designer of my favorite perfume of many years (which I posted about yesterday as I had recently purchased a new bottle) attended the conference. I had no idea that Donna Karan, designer of Cashmere perfume, was a kabbalist. Today I do.

Daled Amos blogs regarding the conference:

Other celebrities who flew in for the Kabbalah conference included movie star Demi Moore and her husband, actor Ashton Kutcher, Rosie O'Donnell and fashion designer Donna Karan.

I love the perfume, Donna! It's an exquisite fragrance.

Split In Two, Challah & Chaos

ד' בתשרי תשס"ח

A domestic passenger plane, One-Two-Go Airlines flight OG269 from Bangkok to Phuket, Thai, was split in two and became engulfed in fire while attempting to land in a downpour Sunday, with 87 (ולהבדיל) confirmed dead and 43 (חלה) survivors being treated for injuries. Among the dead are 8 Israelis. Two Israelis who were on the flight are among the survivors being treated for injuries. It is unknown at this time if any Americans were aboard the tragic flight.

According to Foxnews reports:

Officials said the McDonnell Douglas MD-82 crashed in a downpour, skidded off the runaway and broke in two. Some said weather was likely a factor in the crash.

"The visibility was poor as the pilot attempted to land. He decided to make a go-around but the plane lost balance and crashed," said Chaisak Angsuwan, director general of the Air Transport Authority of Thailand. "It was torn into two parts."

Survivors described their escape amid chaos, smoke and fire.

Read more:

JPost: Eight Israelis feared among dead in Phuket plane crash
YNet News: Israelis among Phuket flight fatalities
CNN: 87 killed in Thai plane crash
Foxnews: Tourist Plane Crash in Thailand Leaves 88 Dead

Hashem speaks as rain (כמטר) through flight OG269:

Give ear, ye heavens, and I will speak; and let the earth hear the words of my mouth.

My doctrine shall drop as the rain, my speech shall distil as the dew; as the small rain upon the tender grass, and as the showers upon the herb.

Brit Milah Of Anointing Prophecy

ג' בתשרי תשס"ח

Another detail of importance to note regarding previous entries discussing my dream of Shmu'el ben Chanah's brit milah - the dream occurred on the third day of Tishrei.

Looking at the Jewish New Year kabbalistically, and associating the first day of Rosh Hashanah with the sefirah Keter, we can see that normatively, in a manner of descending light (aur yashar), the third day is associated with Binah, the third sefirah if one begins counting with Keter.

Through it's "third" day association with Binah, the brit milah in my dream is also associated with the "eighth" day - because Binah has a correspondence to the letter chet (with a gematria of 8) and is the "eighth" ascending (aur chozer) sefirah if one begins with Malchut. Thus, from the perspective of Malchut, the brit milah occurred on the "eighth" day (each of the seven days in a week of days corresponds to one of the lower seven sefirot - Binah is a "day" transcendent of the "seven" days/sefirot of Chesed through Malchut).

Wrestling With Ruach Hashem

ג' בתשרי תשס"ח

In my entry Wrestling, Redeeming & Sanctifying Truth, I wrote of a mist which arose to seed the universe:

Simultaneous with the arising of the wrestling primal goddesses, I saw that the entire atmosphere became chock (חוק) full of dandelions releasing their seeds - so many that they looked like a whitish mist made of dandelion seeds being cast out from the place into the universe at large.

In addition to the dandelion symbolism I discussed in the linked post, the symbolism of the mist is significant.

In my vision, the mist arose from and hovered over the face of the waters where the primal goddesses wrestled toward unification.

"... and ruach Elohim hovered over the face of the waters." Bereshit 1:2

Jewish kabbalah teaches that this hovering ruach Elohim of Bereshit 1:2 is none other than the soul of messianic consciousness.

Mist in Hebrew is אד. A gathering of water (like a cauldron-pond) corresponds to the Hebrew letter mem ם. Together, the mist and the cauldron-pond form the word אדם (adam, in terms of mankind), a code for the 3 archetypal souls of mankind - Adam, David and Mashiach.

As discussed in previous entries, the two primal goddesses in my vision were wrestling in the cauldron-pond to bring forth a unified messianic consciousness. The mist of ruach Elohim hovered over them. The two primal goddesses in the cauldron-pond represent ruach Hashem wrestling toward unification of the Essential Divine Name and its expression into unified messianic consciousness.

Ezer knegdo phrases based on Bereshit 2:6.

"... there arose a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground."

"... there arose a mist from the waters, and seeded the whole face of the air" (see avir kadmon and it's relationship to mem/waters).

Ruach Hashem & The Birth Of An Anointing Prophet

Interestingly, the (ה) feminine vision of ruach Hashem (זה נבואה) occurred on second day of Rosh Hashanah of the year 5768 (see link for elucidation). The brit milah of Shmu'el ben Chanah occurred in a dream this morning, the shabbat immediately following Rosh Hashanah. Chanah is one of my Hebrew names and the birth and dedication of the prophet Shmu'el is in the haftarah for the first day of Rosh Hashanah.

Students Teaching Tolerance

ג' בתשרי תשס"ח

Florida Today reports and teaches us about sanctifying the Divine Name:

Students challenge ban on Gothic
School board policy prohibits such clothing
BY MEGAN DOWNS
FLORIDA TODAY, September 14, 2007

Fifteen-year-old Amaris Mulhauser prepared for school Thursday morning using a thick-black eyeliner to draw tear streaks dripping down her cheeks.

A few hours later, she was pulled out of her Rockledge High English class and told to go home -- the second time this week -- for wearing the Gothic makeup that administrators had warned her to remove.

Amaris is one of about 30 students trying to change the district's dress code policy, which they believe is outdated and curtails their freedom of expression. The students went before the school board this week to argue their case.

Federal courts have been debating student speech and expression rights for years as school officials around the country struggle to balance the expectation of a safe learning environment with students' rights.

Brevard Public Schools' dress code policy specifically prohibits Gothic-style clothing or accessories, citing that such gear is tied to "violent or death oriented themes."

Read full article at link above.

ל This article excerpt is posted in support of the "30" students challenging the ban and is dedicated in honor of Tempest Kayne Smith. May her memory be a blessing. ל

Dai Chai

ג' בתשרי תשס"ח

In follow-up to my previous two entries (Yachid, A Singular Flame and Brit Milah Of An Idea), I need to ask what is "yachid" (יחיד) "flipped" like a nun hafucha and "separated" like a kippah (dai) on the scalp (chai)?

It is the Hebrew letters in the phrase די חי, "dai chai", where

די (dai) means "able" and "sufficient" to do it,

and חי (chai) pertains to the "unified soul" level of messianic consciousness; namely, chayah and yechidah in unity, just like the gevurot and chasidim "exist" in unity in Atzmut.

Yachid, A Singular Flame

ג' בתשרי תשס"ח

As I posted this morning, in front of me on the desk is sitting my bottle of perfume. I am seeing it as I blog this entry.

Interestingly, the shape of the bottle of the perfume I use (Cashmere by Donna Karan) fits my Rosh Hashanah post (Wrestling, Redeeming & Sanctifying Truth) concerned with focusing and sharpening into unity the flames of mashiach ben Yosef and mashiach ben David.

The parfum bottle is shaped like one clear singular flame.

Yachid (יחיד), the Singular One, is the unified origin of the gevurot and chasidim, the left feminine and the right masculine powers, as they "exist" in the Divine Essence (Atzmut).

Another synchronicity of the daily details of my life with the universe of the Divine.

Related entries:
Replicating Messianic Consciousness
Vav Of Redemption & The 14th Letter
Miracle Cell Of Esther
Wrestling, Redeeming & Sanctifying Truth / Cauldron Of Creation
Brit Milah Of An Idea

Brit Milah Of An Idea

ג' בתשרי תשס"ח

I dreamt.

I had just given birth. The "baby" was in the nursery. A figure came into the nursery area to inspect the newborn boy who was no bigger than a quarter, and curled up into a fetal position.

The newborn had a thick membrane attached to the scalp of his head. The figure now was clearly a mohel. The mohel lifted an overhanging corner of the membrane with the tip of his fingernail and peeled the membrane off the newborn's head. Then, he flipped the membrane over, inside out like a nun hafucha, and put it back on the newborn's head like a kippah. It was the same piece of membrane on the newborn's head, only it was flipped over and sitting on (as opposed to attached to) the scalp.

The newborn now had a kippah on.

I woke up.

Hashra'ah & Prophetic Imagination

ג' בתשרי תשס"ח

Earlier this evening when I began posting my Rosh Hashanah vision (Wrestling, Redeeming & Sanctifying Truth) my technorati blog "authority" was still 33. I just now noticed after posting my newest original "prophetic" incense recipe (Cauldron Of Creation) that my blog "authority" has "sharpened/focused" into 30.

Interesting. A synchronicity of details with the universe.

Thirty is the gematria of the Hebrew letter lamed (ל), containing among its mystical meanings the following:

*Divine inspiration (hashra'ah)

*the higher Shechinah

*prophetic imagination breaking into the rational intellect

*malchut

*creating a new heavens and a new earth

Wrestling, Redeeming & Sanctifying Truth

ג' בתשרי תשס"ח

The afternoon of the first day of Rosh Hashanah, I performed a Jewitch tashlich. At that time I cast the ashes of rituals from the past year into a swampy green cauldron pond in the woods.

As I was waking this morning, I had a powerful mind-vision of two primal goddesses arising from the swampy pond waters (which were waist high on them) where I had performed my Jewitch tashlich. They were wrestling and they arose wrestling, as if the act of wrestling caused the "arising revelation".

Simultaneous with the arising of the wrestling primal goddesses, I saw that the entire atmosphere became chock (חוק) full of dandelions releasing their seeds - so many that they looked like a whitish mist made of dandelion seeds being cast out from the place into the universe at large.

Magickally, dandelions correspond to the Hecate and David archetypes, the planets Jupiter and Saturn, the Hebrew letter tav (through Jupiter), the Ogham letter ruis (through Saturn), the element of air, the channel from yesod to malchut, shabbat consciousness, and the powers of divination/nevuah, manifesting desires and spirit-calling.

Dandelion in Hebrew is שינן, from the shoresh שנן meaning "focus", "precise instructional tool", "directed speech", and "sharpen". Importantly, dandelion comes to "sharpen" the Hebrew letter shin שין, representing the consciousness of mashiach ben Yosef, into the consciousness of mashiach ben David.

With the wrestling of the two primal goddesses of the cauldron-pond, the two meshichim are becoming one.

Interestingly, the Ogham letter ruis corresponds to the color red (Esau, David, Adam) and is the thirteenth (אחד echad = one, with a gematria of 13) letter of the Ogham alphabet.

To mark this Rosh Hashanah vision, I've just created a new original incense recipe - Cauldron Of Creation.

Miracle Cell Of Esther

כ"ו באלול תשס"ז

I dreamt.

Of an encounter with an alien man from another planet. We were both in process of escaping a hostile, swampy environment and met briefly on a planet not native to either of us. The forces we were escaping forced us each back to our home planet after our brief encounter. I had the feeling that we had infected one another with a memorable experience - neither of us had ever known an alien before.

Next thing I knew was looking through a laboratory microscope and seeing a single cell tightly packed with dark green material like chorophyll. No one had ever seen anything like this cell before. Everyone in the laboratory "oohed" and "ahhed" over it. It was a "miracle cell". I felt like I was looking at the "origin of life" cell. In other words, all life in the universe would be brought forth from it.

I woke up.

Esther was green. Like in my dream of the 14-line-letter row composite of two forces, "Esther's inner light is a composite of two forces".

Thus, the "vav" of huathe may also pertain to Unity through the mysticism of Purim.

Vav Of Redemption & The 14th Letter

כ"ו באלול תשס"ז

In follow-up to yesterday's entry, Line Letter Key, I wrote that the final 14th letter of the first "key" row was Huathe, symbolic of feminine power. Corresponding to it, the 14th letter of the aleph-beit is Nun, symbolic of messianic consciousness. The first 13 letters were a Unified hybrid of Ogham (representing Gevurah, form) and Hebrew (representing Chesed, force).

Huathe is the sixth letter of the Ogham. The sixth letter of the Hebrew aleph-beit is Vav, the letter of connection, transformation and redemption.

Eliyahu's name is spelled defectively (minus a Vav) 5 times. Five is the gematria of the feminine letter Hei ה, which has an "h" sound. Huathe has an "h" sound.

Taking this together, Huathe in my dream is acting as the feminine guarantor of redemptive messianic consciousness. Huathe is Eliyahu's missing Vav.

The "five" of Eliyahu and the "five" of Yaakov make the whole Yod of "14" (יד). The line letter key was was 14 letters long.

Replicating Messianic Consciousness

כ"ה באלול תשס"ז

In follow-up to a previous entry, Line Letter Key, where I wrote:

On the 14-letter row, the only line letter that was definitely an Ogham letter was the final letter, the 14th letter.

I need to be clear. The only line letter that was definitely an Ogham letter was this 14th letter in the first row of letters. None of the other letters are any I've ever seen before.

The remaining letters were line-like in form-structure as are Ogham letters, but they were not Ogham letters.

The remaining letters were written with the force-flow as are Hebrew letters, but they were not Hebrew letters.

I think the 13 remaining letters of the 14-letter row and the unnumbered letters of the row below it represent a mysterious hybrid where both form (Gevurah) and force (Chesed) are One. Importantly, the union of opposites (Gevurah and Chesed) is a function of Da'at, an expressive "external" partzuf of Keter.

An "internal" partzuf of Keter is Atik Yomin. This partzuf is concerned with the coming and transmission of messianic consciousness:

Atik Yomin is the internal partzuf of keter, corresponding to the super-conscious power of pleasure in the soul. The term Atik Yomin (in Aramaic) appears explicitly in the Bible, in the book of Daniel, connoting God Almighty in Daniel's vision of the coming of Mashiach.

The term Atik Yomin, "the Ancient of Days," implies absolute transcendence in relation to "the days of the world," the normative consciousness of created reality. The word Atik in addition to "ancient" means "to copy." It is the Divine power "to copy" a higher reality or world onto a lower. Thus, the Atik of a world serves as a totally superconscious DNA-like code to copy higher reality onto lower.

Wow. All this and more in the incredible mystery letters of my dream.

Newborn Jewitch

כ"ה באלול תשס"ז

A newborn witch is added to the ranks of Jewitchery.

A Woman Scorned In Kiryas Joel
By John Sullivan
Times Herald-Record
September 07, 2007

Kiryas Joel — A native of this Satmar Hasidic village, Toby Greenberg is not unfamiliar with the strict mores of her ultra-Orthodox community.

But she never expected to be persecuted for choosing to dress slightly differently.

Unlike most Kiryas Joel women, who wear long, dark dresses or skirts and simple blouses in public, Greenberg, 25, wears colorful shirts, wigs and denim skirts.

Read more at link above.

Once a witch, always a witch. She will never return to what she was before. She has tasted the fruit of redemption.

Hat-tip to DovBear.

Line Letter Key

כ"ה באלול תשס"ז

I dreamt.

My son Michael was going to fix my car. He needed a key to do it. I saw the key he needed to fix the car.

There were two rows of line letters (like Celtic Ogham), each written from right to left as Hebrew is written. Ogham is normally written left to right like English or in a vertical down-to-up arrangement.

Although each line letter of both rows was made of lines (similar to but not eactly like the Ogham), the letters were not on a druim stem-line as Ogham letters are. Each line letter was distinctly separate from (yet touching) the letter next to it (reminds me of a chatoteret).

The top row of 14 (yad hagedolah) line letters was longer than the row below it. I didn't with intent count the number of letters in the top row, I just knew it. The number of line letters in the shorter bottom row was not revealed. The top row of 14 letters was the key my son needed to fix the car. The row below of hidden number was my secret alone.

On the 14-letter row, the only line letter that was definitely an Ogham letter was the final letter, the 14th letter. It was a Huathe, the sixth letter of the Ogham.

I woke up.

Huathe has an "h" sound, is represented by the Hawthorne tree, suggests an obstacle (like a locked lock) or desire, corresponds to dark blue or purple, and is a symbol of both protection and female sexual power. As a positive force, Huathe rewards past action and brings one to encounter life filled with Divine Benevolence.

Unification Of Da'at

כ"ב באלול תשס"ז

I noted in my previous entry, Her Hands In Herstory:

The Divine Feminine "sun" of tevunah penetrates the darkness from December 19-23. The numbers comprise a "passage of time", namely 19, 20, 21, 22 and 23. The sum of these (ה) five "expressively feminine" numbers is 105, the gematria of a Hebrew word for "her palm" (כפה) and "her projective beauty" (ייפה importantly with two letters yod, symbolizing the Divine Name).

I further noted:

The ancient Temple of Newgrange still stands today in amazing wholeness as a witness to Her Endurance, year to year.

In additional observation - as the two letters yod יי in the configuration ייפה pertain to the Divine Name, the two remaining letters פה mean "Her mouth". The letter pei (פ) is the 17th letter of the aleph-beit, where 17 is the maximum number of minutes the chamber at Newgrange is lit up and is the gematria of "tov" (good טוב).

17, it is enough. dayeinu!

Tov is the 33rd word of the Torah. Thirty-three alludes to union of the 2 levels of da'at (knowledge).

Interestingly, the current Technorati "authority" of Walking On Fire is 33 (see sidebar).

Her Hands In Herstory

כ"ב באלול תשס"ז

In follow-up to my previous entry, Dark Heart of the World, regarding the 19 metre passage into the ancient Temple of Life of Newgrange:

The passage and chamber of Newgrange are illuminated by the winter solstice sunrise. A shaft of sunlight shines through the roof box over the entrance and penetrates the passage to light up the chamber. The dramatic event lasts for 17 minutes at dawn from the 19th to the 23rd of December.

As are the triple spirals engraved throughout the Temple symbolic of the Divine Feminine, so too are the numbers 19 (Eve) and 17 (the gematria of "tov"-good, characteristic of the introspective "womb" Hebrew letter tet ט) symbolic of the Divine Feminine.

Interestingly, another gematria found in the numbers also points to Her.

The Divine Feminine "sun" of tevunah penetrates the darkness from December 19-23. The numbers comprise a "passage of time", namely 19, 20, 21, 22 and 23. The sum of these (ה) five "expressively feminine" numbers is 105, the gematria of a Hebrew word for "her palm" (כפה) and "her projective beauty" (ייפה importantly with two letters yod, symbolizing the Divine Name).

The ancient Temple of Newgrange still stands today in amazing wholeness as a witness to Her Endurance, year to year. The Hebrew word ימימה for "year to year" also has a gematria of 105.

וְשָׁמַרְתָּ אֶת-הַחֻקָּה הַזֹּאת, לְמוֹעֲדָהּ, מִיָּמִים, יָמִימָה
Thou shalt therefore keep this ordinance in its season from year to year. Shemot 13:10

Dark Heart Of The World

כ"ב באלול תשס"ז

I don't believe in coincidence.

In yesterday's post, Aleph, Etzel & The Magic Chanukah Oil, I wrote regarding hiding the primordial pure oil:

I may have momentarily penetrated into what I was observing, to hide the vial of oil from the two before before I woke up, so neither one of them could find it to use it.

Today, I heard for the first time a song about the mysterious ancient site in Ireland called Newgrange (500-600 years older than the Great Pyramid of Giza and a 1000 years more ancient than Stonehenge) and discovered this about its uniquely featured roofbox:

The roofbox was built directly above the entrance door to the passage. The passage and chamber were specifically aligned with the rising sun of the mornings around the mid-winter solstice in December. The 19 metre passage rises in elevation as it leads to the chamber.

The chamber floor, the roofbox and the local horizon are on a single plane and so as the sun's morning rays penetrate the roofbox, they illuminate the chamber floor for a maximum of 17 minutes (weather depending).

Repetitively engraved into the entrance slab, along the passageway, and within the inner chamber of this mysterious structure is the triple spiral motif symbolic of the Divine Feminine.

The Divine Feminine "sun" (tevunah) penetrates the dark heart of the world, to act within it, through the "roofbox" opening over the door. Congealing together within my mind with this idea, are the cave of machpelah and the marking of lintels over the doors in the exodus story. She is the One Who came that night.

Excerpt of the lyrics from the song, Newgrange, which soothingly haunts me by Celtic Woman (from the CD A New Journey):

the circled tomb from a different age
secret lines carved on ancient stones
heroic kings laid down to rest
forgotten is the race that no one knows ...

There is a ritual no man is allowed to witness ...

The passage Temple to Life and its roofbox at Newgrange is encircled by a fence of stones. Electrifying.

Aleph, Etzel & The Magic Chanukah Oil

כ" באלול תשס"ז

I dreamt.

It was medieval times. A small ship of young non-military soldiers was on its way to help those on land, but as the ship came nearer the land, it was met with military resistance sent out by some on shore. There was some sort of civil war occuring on land and these who had come to help the entire people were being fired upon. The ship had also been boarded - there was some hand-to-hand combat occuring as well.

The battle was ferocious and those in the ship knew their situation was critical. They would all die if they didn't have some help soon, very soon. A flare sent from one group of those on land was seen in the sky over the ship. One young soldier fighting for his life felt hope at seeing this flare. He thought help was on the way. Those on land knew they were here and were coming to help them, he was thinking.

I felt sick feeling this soldier's hope and seeing the hope in his eyes. I followed the thread of hope to see where it led.

It led to a powerful witch - the lover of the soldier's commander. She was a bad witch. The relationship between the commander and she was not healthy. It was obsessive in a bad way. She and he together were malignantly sociopathic, singularly focused on taking from one another without regard to any consequences. She didn't care about the impending doom shadowing over those under her lover's charge. She was entirely selfish, even with her lover. They both took from one another. And even though the energy generated between them was extremely powerful, it was misdirected. And somehow, that energy was the source for what was happening to the young soldiers on the ship. They would allow the soldiers to perish to satisfy themselves.

The witch had brought a gift for her lover - a vial containing a rare primordial one-of-a-kind magic oil. There was no other in existence like it. The witch had found it. She was bringing it to her lover in exchange for satisfaction. Now.

Despite that her lover had a responsibility to those soldiers on the ship. She was evil. And he was evil. Now.

I was sick. I'm not sure, but I may have momentarily penetrated into what I was observing, to hide the vial of oil from the two before before I woke up, so neither one of them could find it to use it.

I woke up.

This dream pertains to the event described in this post at DovBear by Jameel, Refusing Orders (see my comments to it also).

I am connected through my chotimah (aleph of emunah) to the 16 unarmed Jewish Etzel soldiers who died that day (as described in Refusing Orders).

The connection to "medieval" times is found in the gematria of aleph (with a value of 1000) X 16 (the number of unarmed soldiers who perished) = 1600.

The vial of magic primordial oil in my dream is the pure miracle oil of the Chanukah story.

Liminally Born

י"ט באלול תשס"ז

In follow-up to my previous entry, another intimate connection I have to the goddess Brigit (Brigid) is contained within the story of my own "liminal" journey into physical incarnation and my memory of it as existing in a state "in between" not being and being in physicality.

The story of my own incarnation is described here, She Who Hasn't Forgotten.

On "liminality" and "human" Brigid:

Saint Brigid was said to be the daughter of a druid who had a vision that she was to be named after a great goddess. She was born at sunrise while her mother was walking over a threshold, and so "was neither within nor without." This is the state known as liminality, from the Latin, limen: a threshold – the state of being “in between” places and times. In Celtic tradition this is a sacred time when the doors between the worlds are open and magical events can occur.

Like Brigit, Yocheved the mother of Moses, was liminally born. Brigit is a triple goddess. Yocheved gave birth to 3 children - Moses, Miriam and Aaron.

Like Brigit, I too am a triple tapestry of Jewish, Celtic and Native American ancestries. Like Yocheved, I too gave birth to 3 children - Jeremy, Amy and Michael.

Daughters Of The Flame

י"ט באלול תשס"ז

In my dream Adam From Eve, there was a ritual no man (my bashert included) was allowed to witness - the dressing of the side wound (from which my bashert emerged) by my mother.

Interestingly, ancient priestesses of the Celtic-Irish goddess Brigit conducted rituals dedicated to the completely Divine Feminine force. Men were not even allowed to bring ritual supplies near the sanctuary - village women brought them. It was a woman-only place. Like my Potawatomi ancestors (keepers of the sacred fires), my Celtic-Irish ancestor-priestesses of Brigit were also keepers of the sacred flame.

Brigit is a Celtic goddess who could not be destroyed by the Christianization of Europe. Like Jewish Serach, She never died.

Sacred Earth Designs on Brigit, Celtic Goddess of Creativity:

Brigid or Brigit is the Celtic triple goddess of poetry, smithcraft, healing, and inspiration. Her symbol is fire. Brigid is also the Goddess of doctors and healing and is a Celtic mother Goddess, deeply connected to the earth and its cycles.

She is light, and provides all the skills associated with fire, inner healing and vital energy. Smithcrafting was seen as a sacred skill and associated with magical powers. It involved mastering the primal element of Fire and moulding metal and fusing new shapes through skill, knowledge and strength.

The Goddess of poetry, Brigid fulfills the function of providing artistic inspiration and encouraging creativity.

Awenyddion. My musical poetry.

Magic Of The Journey

י"ט באלול תשס"ז

I was sitting here at my computer thinking how it is going to take some time (and money) to acquire all the ritual items I want. Nothing I want costs alot of money really, but it does add up. Yet, I wasn't bothered by the idea of "taking time". I don't feel compelled to "have it all now." In fact, it struck me that there is so much magic in just the journey alone of planning, gathering and preparing one's tools and rituals. Then I thought that this must be true for sofrim as well. The act of preparation is itself sacred, soul-developing and magical.

It is definitely true - the magic is with the witch and she makes her tools magical!

Tool To Designate Time

י"ח באלול תשס"ז

My bone china ritual plate (see here) is made by Mikasa (מכסא), making my bone china plate a plate through which "time is designated".

It was the only one the seller had. It was waiting for me to buy it. I knew it as soon as I saw it.

BTW, Moshiach must be coming because my religious mother, just as I am blogging this, walked in and brought me a gift - a brass mortar and pestle! It's looks to be a ceremonial set of some sort.

Sotah Ritual And The Witch's Petition Spell

י"ח באלול תשס"ז

In Torah we read about the Sotah ritual (Bamidbar, chapter 5) where an accused woman is made to drink the name of G-d and curses dissolved into holy water:

21 then the priest shall cause the woman to swear with the oath of cursing, and the priest shall say unto the woman--the LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to fall away, and thy belly to swell;

22 and this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, and make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to fall away'; and the woman shall say: 'Amen, Amen.'

23 And the priest shall write these curses in a scroll, and he shall blot them out into the water of bitterness.

24 And he shall make the woman drink the water of bitterness that causeth the curse; and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her and become bitter.

Witchcraft also has rituals where the words of a petition spell are written by the witch, subsequently dissolved into sacred water, and then ingested by the witch. For example, a petition spell can be made by writing its words on a bone china offering plate with ingestable ink, meditating upon them, and then dissolving the words into boiling kettle water by immersing the plate in the water. After cooling a bit, the water (with the words of the spell dissolved into it) is then ingested. In this manner, the witch ingests the power and ability to make manifest her petition.

The biblical sotah ritual is a ritual of witchcraft.

Is It Really Bone China? - the difference between bone and fine china

My Bone China Ritual Plate

Scribal Ink Base

י"ח באלול תשס"ז

I've found a recipe for the base ink I will handmake as an alternative to using archival black India ink in my original Temple Pathways scribal ink. The recipe I will use for the base is one used in sofrut that I've modified for my own work. My modified base ink recipe can be found here. The Temple Pathways scribal ink recipe in which the base will be an ingredient can be found here. The acid-free archival India ink base will be used in the preparation made for writing in my Book of Shadows, while the handmade base will be used in the preparation made for spellwork.

Of course, I may change my mind about the India ink base if I find or create a better base recipe for acid-free archival ink.

Bone Stylus

י"ח באלול תשס"ז

I'm looking for an online resource for scribal supplies. Particularly, I am at the moment looking to purchase a bone stylus or a suitable unfinished bone that I can make into a stylus. If anyone can link me to a supplier, please post a link in the comments.

What kind of bone would make a good stylus? A beef rib bone perhaps? Maybe I can just find a good bone at the grocery store to make a scribal stylus. I need to look for the right bone to use.

I'm going to do it. I'll have both a bone stylus handmade by me and a silver finger stylus to use for writing in my Sefer Tzelem (Book of Shadows) and craftwork.