Heikhalot, The Nine-Tenths Gate

ט' בתשרי תש"ע
Blodlessing 10

On Blodlessing 10, Tishrei 9 ... I dreamt.

In a harbor on a cabined boat sitting on the water glistening with light under a full moon on a clear night, were two couples. Facing them from the middle, on my left the woman was sitting on a bench and the man was in the pool-like chamber at her feet submerged under the water in the pool-chamber. Like a link cord to outside the pool-chamber, she was holding on to him with her right hand. She could pull him out if he started to drown.

Facing them, to my right, the couple was standing facing a wall. The woman was going to ascend the wall. It was dangerous, but she was going to do it. The man at her side had a decision to make - was he going to lay it all on the line and follow her or not? He would die if she failed. He would live eternally if she succeeded. Did he want her enough to risk dying for her?

He decided. He took off his shoes and began to take off his clothes. He was going to ascend the wall with her, be the result death or life - all that mattered was being with her.

The scene changed. A single couple was flying down a lonely bare prairie dirt road in the middle of nowhere. There was only pale beige land on either side of the road leading to who knows where. All of a sudden, the woman left the bare dirt road and turned at a right angle into the land on our right of the road. He went with her, and in our tracks the trail blazed behind us lighting up with sparks like fire.

We were among a small handful of people who were in a chamber between worlds. The chamber was like an enclosed windowless greenhouse with rows of enchanted trees in it. The trees were guardians. The trees were fruit trees but I saw no fruit - the trees themselves may have been the fruit, because the temptation was to eat of the tree itself. Looking back as we walked on, I saw one person reach up to pluck of the tree - and as he reached, touched and ate of it (which were somehow all one simultaneous action), the tree hideously transformed into a tree-like venus flytrap which chomped down on the man, biting him in half. The trap-tree ate his top half above his waist first as his bottom half stood motionless in the path between the rows of trees waiting to be also hideously eaten.

Untempted by the enchanted fruit trees, I and the man with me and a few others, walked on into the next chamber. There were guardians in this chamber as well. They were humanoid guardian spirits, but they were completely chalk white like clouds and dressed all in white. They were also deadly feminine. I and the man with me kept moving through it, but I looked behind me - one of the males in the group had been tempted to kiss one of the female guardian spirits - he immediately died.

Moving on, I and the man with me, and fewer others, moved on into the next chamber. This chamber was just like the last chamber only these white guardian spirits were deadly male and functioned to tempt the female to kiss them. I was completely untempted.

A flashback or remembrance - I was a single woman among couples sitting at a table playing cards. I laid my five cards on the table - four cards were a straight and the last card was a wild card. Just then, one of the couples' corresponding human female opened the door and came into the room. She was very pregnant (at term) and dressed in a white nightrobe (her skin had the color of life in it) - I was a nurse and she asked me to help her. We went into the bathroom, and she showed me that she was bleeding. There were streaks of blood in the water in the water bowl. I told her she needed to call the doctor. She wasn't hemorrhaging, it was just a little bit of spotting, but she did need to see the doctor immediately.

Back in the otherworldly chamber, I remained untempted to kiss any of the male guardians. They became frustrated with me because I was successfully resisting all of them. One guardian lost his composure and with frustrated impatient desperation, came over and bit me (or the man with me, as our identities were no longer separated) at the base of my neck - if he could bite me, he thought, he could make me bleed and I would die. I didn't bleed at all. I saw that, while all the others still had skin with the color of life in it, my skin was completely chalk white just like the guardians. I had no blood in me. I failed to bleed and ...

... woke up. As I was waking, I saw fire spark into a peaceful brilliant radiating light (like when spirits touch) at the place on the north corner of my altar where I burn a red autumn spice tea candle sitting in a sea green pentacle bowl. (Now I know with confidence that the elemental directions of my altar are as they need to be and are: North - fire/light, East - air, South - water, West - earth. My altar itself sits along the east wall of my bedroom.)

Spirit Night In The Land Of The Living

כ' באלול תשס״ט
Belz 21

Last night I dreamt.

For one night, the way was open for the dead to come up from the cavern of the dead to walk among the living.

I saw as some of the dead came up from a deep cavern through the surface opening which led into the land of the living. Not all of the dead could come up. Only the dead who had the strength and will to climb up to the cavern's opening could make it up. Not only human dead could take advantage of this night, but the dead of all living creatures could if they had the will and strength to do it. In fact, I saw some spiders and small bugs who did take advantage of the opportunity to return to the land of the living for this brief period of time.

One small spunky girl bug who came up reminded me of both a praying mantis and a giraffe - she was skinny like a praying mantis but she had a longer neck like a giraffe. The small girl bug was climbing up the cavern wall, struggling to reach the opening, pulling her mate bug up with her who didn't have the strength to climb anymore. The girl bug had strength enough for both of them. She was determined to make it to the opening and she was going to bring her mate bug with her. She did too. I smiled when she made it to the top, male bug in tow.

One teen girl who specifically came up was my responsibility. I had called her up apparently. I cupped her face in my hands, hoping she was not mad at me for calling her up. She wasn't mad. On the contrary, she thanked me for the blessing of enabling her to walk one more night among the living. She went on her way.

Even in the dream, I was cognizant that last night was neither Samhain nor Yom Kippur, even though I felt the night embodied the spirit of both. As I was considering this, a rabbi appeared also in the room into which the cavern opened, also from the land of the living like me. He too, was greeting one of the dead, who then went on his way as the teen girl had.

After the teen girl, I thought my responsibility was over. But it wasn't - the rabbi said to me, "come, we have to go greet the dead." As the dead came up into the land of the living, we greeted them. Many came. We greeted them all, welcoming each one into the land of the living.

I woke up.

The Sabbats - HaSabbatot

ה' באב תשס״ט
Lughnasadh 6

The mystery of sabbat sabbatot and the high holy days emerge from the Divine Feminine.

Sabbatu, Women's Magic and Sacred Time

The word sabbat (שבת) is derived from the Babylonian word sabbatu, meaning 'heart's rest' and refers to the bleeding (menstrual) time when women's Goddess magic was particularly potent. In Hebrew tradition, Goddess is called the shabbat queen. The Hebrew letter ש can be vocalized as either 's' (שׂ) or 'sh' (שׁ). In Hebrew, the plural of sabbat/shabbat is sabbatot/shabbatot (שבתות). Interestingly, sabbatu spelled in Hebrew is שבתו. Ending with the Hebrew letter of connection, namely vav (ו), sabbatu itself carries and connects together all the sabbatot.

Lunar Sabbats and Earth Shabbats, Power Points of Feminine Power in Time

In ancient times, Babylonians called the four quarter days of the lunar cycle - the new, first, full and last quarter, one of which occurred about every seven days - sabbats. The modern weekly shabbat day of rest is fixed at every seven days. The sabbatot focus otherworldly (lunar-stellar) time, the shabbatot focus earthly time.

Stellar Sabbats, Points and Apices of Feminine Power in Time on the Earth

Through the feminine power of the lunar cycle, the masculine solar cycle of the year was designated and astrologically brought into alignment with the four feminine quarter days of the natural stellar cycle - the solstices and the equinoxes - the oldest holy days known to humanity. Ancient ritual observances of the quarter days can be found worldwide, from the ancient pyramids of Egypt to the cliff-wall dwellings of the Anasazi. The quarter days of the stellar cycle are the 'Lesser Sabbats' or 'Low Holy Days' of Witchcraft. The Lesser Sabbats are Ostara (spring equinox), Litha (summer solstice), Mabon (autumn equinox) and Yule (winter solstice).

The solstices and equinoxes are times of longest and shortest nights and of longest and shortest days of the year. While these days are days of imbalance in the masculine solar cycle, they are days of feminine lunar power.

The days of balance (equinimity) in the solar cycle are days in the masculine solar cycle between the powerful lunar points of the quarter days and form apices of feminine power between the feminine lunar power points - these are the cross-quarter days of the stellar cycle brought down to earth as 'earthly power points' for women's magic. The cross-quarter days of the stellar cycle are the 'Greater Sabbats' or 'High Holy Days' of Witchcraft. The Greater Sabbats are Imbolc (between Yule and Ostara), Beltane (between Ostara and Litha), Lughnasadh (between Litha and Mabon) and Samhain (between Mabon and Yule).

The Greater Sabbat of Lughnasadh is upcoming on the horizon here in the northern hemisphere of the earth. Lughnasash is traditionally observed on August 1, and astrologically observed this year on August 6-7. The Greater Sabbat of Imbolc is upcoming for those located in the southern hemisphere of the earth.

May all our שבתות be blessed with revealed good! So mote it be! אמן

Judaism's View On Religious Vows

כ"ו שבט תשס"ט
Imbolgen 26

From JewishEncyclopedia:

Before sunset on the eve of the Day of Atonement, when the congregation has gathered in the synagogue, the Ark is opened and two rabbis, or two leading men in the community, take from it two Torah-scrolls. Then they take their places, one on each side of the ḥazzan, and the three recite in concert a formula beginning with the words של מעלה בישיבה, which runs as follows:

"In the tribunal of heaven and the tribunal of earth, by the permission of God—blessed be He—and by the permission of this holy congregation, we hold it lawful to pray with the transgressors."

Thereupon the cantor chants the Aramaic prayer beginning with the words "Kol Nidre," with its marvelously plaintive and touching melody, and, gradually increasing in volume from pianissimo to fortissimo, repeats three times the following words:

"All vows [כל נדרי], obligations, oaths, and anathemas, whether called 'ḳonam,' 'ḳonas,' or by any other name, which we may vow, or swear, or pledge, or whereby we may be bound, from this Day of Atonement until the next (whose happy coming we await), we do repent. May they be deemed absolved, forgiven, annulled, and void, and made of no effect; they shall not bind us nor have power over us. The vows shall not be reckoned vows; the obligations shall not be obligatory; nor the oaths be oaths."

Take home message - may a vow never become a prison for your soul. Wherever your path may lead, may you be free to go.

Related entry - Witchcraft's View On Religious Vows

Gates Of The Great Rite

י"ג תשרי התשס"ט
Blodlessing 14

In follow-up to my previous two entries (Sanctuary Of Delight and Consummate Life To Enliven), where it is brought forth that even as the Gates of Prayer are closing and the Gates of the Temple are opening, I further note that connected to these Yom Kippur Gates of "closing" and "opening" are two Gates of the Celtic New Year, Beltane (now closing) and Samhain (now opening).

The Gate of the Celtic New Year is opening (as are the Gates of the Temple), becoming fully open at Samhain. Samhain is the Gate to the dark half of the year (corresponding to Essential consciousness). Beltane, the Gate to light half of the year (corresponding to emanated awareness), is closing (as are the Gates of Prayer).

The two Gates of the Year, represent a time of consummate interinclusion among the worlds (of both witchcraft and kabbalah) where worlds unite - symbolized by the Great Rite ritual (the originally "hidden" divination card) - to bring forth that which is greater than anything in the worlds alone - an experience of Essential Being.

Mesirut Nefesh Of The Goat For Azazel

ט' בתשרי תשס"ח

In follow-up to the Two Goats post regarding my mountaintop vision on the eighth day of Tishrei, kabbalah explains:

On the eighth day our service goes beyond the limits of the world. We step past all obstacles: those presented by evil, by our limited intellect, and even the limitations of the world as they are found in Torah, and reveal a service that is infinite, the service of Mesirut Nefesh (self-sacrifice).

An old poem of mine originally published on my musical website, entitled
Mesirut Nefesh, Modah Ani:

ever in my ear, a feast absolutely senseless, with a holy madness
seizing the moments, turning over time, plunging into history
one sight, one mind, our bodyguard
the curious melody that plays your heartsound, a mystery mark
weaving secretly through mine
upon reverberating strings jeweled with a rhythm of the land
smelling darkly deep, a resurrecting wine fully alive
aged on the way, homeward bound
body and soul, dancing like lovers with eternal breath
a song between two old friends
an extraordinary ordinary treasure
resting plainly like a tool within some wooden dreambox
gently blowing
the most beautiful light of midnight

Two Goats, Nogeáh V'eino Nogeáh

ט' בתשרי תשס"ח

In follow-up to my previous entry (Mind On The Mountaintop) for Erev Yom Kippur, I noted in the comments to that entry my dream from a day or two earlier:

I had a dream. I accidentally drove over a cliff on a curving mountain road. It wasn't a scary dream. I was very objective through it and thought "I'm not going survive this." So, I said the Shema in the dream. Then I woke up. I had been driving down the mountain from the top.

Michael Berg, of the infamous Kabbalah Centre, writes about A Great Secret Of Yom Kippur:

There is a first part of the reading. It speaks about the death of Nadav and Avihu, the two children of Aaron. Why do we read about the death of the two children of Aaron on Yom Kippur? We know there are no coincidences. There is a reason this story precedes the discussion of the process of Yom Kippur.

Rabbi Berg goes on to write:

We also know today is the death anniversary of Rabbi Akiva, the death anniversary of Rav Ashlag. All those three are not a coincidence.

How do we understand that and how do we put it together? It says that when Rabbi Akiva was about to leave this world, it was a time when the Romans ruled the land of Israel. They did not want Rabbi Akiva to continue to teach, but he did, and was captured by the Romans.

The story is the Romans took combs of steel and were scraping his skin from his body to make his death what they thought was the most torturous possible.

As this process was happening, Rabbi Akiva began to say the Sh’ma. As he was beginning the process of leaving this world, his students said, don’t continue the prayer. Because they knew if he completed the prayer he would leave this world.

Rabbi Akiva said, all my life I have been waiting and worried about this verse, which speaks about giving over ourselves completely. When will I be able to completely do this process? Now I have the opportunity. How can I give it up?

Rabbi Akiva ended the Sh’ma and, as he said the word echad, his soul left.

So why did I wake up after saying the Shema in my dream? ס

The kabbalists teach a very interesting concept, that every action we do of sharing, of connection, is an action that has within it the power to achieve complete dvchut, complete union with the Light of the Creator. Not only that, the truly righteous, the true kabbalists, did that. When they came to the morning connection, they would put all of their life force into that connection. So how did they stay alive after the prayer?

The kabbalists teach that within the action itself is Light that returns the soul to the body. Because it’s a day to talk about truly high concepts, the true kabbalists completely gave themselves over in every connection that they made. They made that union, that dvchut, in every action of connection. Their entire being, their entire soul, went into that action.

The only reason their soul came back to their body is because the Light shines back to them. This is a battle for true righteous people to hold themselves back and keep their soul in their body. When they made that connection to the Light within the action, their soul wanted to connect completely. For a kabbalist, a truly righteous person, the physical body limits their ability to connect to the Light. They never want to return to their body after they make a connection, but the Creator says, you still have a job to do in your body.

As I wrote when describing my story in the comments over at DovBear:

This story isn't over yet.

It has newly begun. Walking On Fire is a living witness to that which began over a decade ago, and to the brilliantly transformative power singularly tied to the higher service (mesirut nefesh) of the goat for Azazel - אתהפכא חשוכא לנהורא.

The two goats are One on the mountain of paradox, walking the earth yet hovering the summit, touching yet not touching. חי

My vision of the Mountain of Paradox, like a visionary brit milah, occurred on the eighth day of Tishrei. I wrote of and elucidated it on the ninth day of Tishrei. I woke up from my dream, so I imagine that unlike Rabbi Akiva at the hands of the Romans centuries ago, I will awaken still among the living tomorrow on the tenth day of Tishrei as well. חי

Kaparah And Achdut

Since I filled up the tub in a dream, I might as well fill up the "reverse vision" yiddish word for tub (toyb -> bit) that is a dove too. Here goes:

Bit spelled ביט equals:

בית יוד טית = 851

851 = באמתחת = "in the sack of" (Bereshit 44:12) where Yosef's brother's bags were searched and the wine goblet was found "in the sack of" Benjamin.

That is (not) so surprising, given the fact that I had a dream about a ~3/4 empty bottle of Manischewitz wine "in the tote of" me yesterday morning, and it made me feel like Benjamin too. I blogged it in my personal journal, naming the second post "Benjamin's Tote".

יבא ידיד בן ידיד ויבנה ידיד לידיד בחלקו של ידיד ויתכפרו בו ידידים

Menachot 53a

The companion son of the companion shall come and build the companion for the companion in the portion of the companion in order to atone (kaparah) for the companions.

Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh writes¹:

This riddle of the sages is interpreted to mean: "Solomon, the descendant of Avraham, shall come and build the Temple, for G-d, in the portion of Benjamin, in order to atone for Israel." The sages cite a verse for each of the above six in which it is referred to as ידיד, "companion". From this we learn that the concept "companion" unifies the souls of Israel and G-d through the means of the specific archetypal souls and the Temple service.

Rabbi Pinchas Winston writes:

As basic to the Torah Jew as eating and sleeping are the concepts of teshuvah and kaparah -- repentance and atonement (though the latter are harder to do, but, far more meaningful, if only in the long run). Simply put, teshuvah is what we human beings do by, 1.) regretting the sin, 2.) verbalizing the admission (viduy), and 3.) avoiding the sin the next time it becomes a possibility to commit it. Kaparah, on the other hand, is what G-d gives to us if we MERIT to have the previous "slate" wiped clean.

Actually and more precisely, the bottle of wine in the dream was not quite 3/4 empty - it was more like 7/8 empty - just like the real bottle of shabbat Manischewitz wine I've had sitting in my room for months. Just sitting there by my shabbat candlesticks that have also remained unlit over the past several months. I've spent my shabbatot completely in the dark essence (תא) of night.

Footnote:

¹ The Hebrew Letters, Channels Of Creative Consciousness, R. Yitzchak Ginsburgh