In follow-up to earlier posts (This Is Hel, The Hel-Baldur-Nanna Connection and Last Night's Uruz Rune Drawing), I make note that the two periods of "happy brightness" prior and subsequent to my experiential consciousness of Ginnungagap-Niflheim pertain to two experientially (full moon) phases of being in Baldur's and Nanna's hall in Asgard, namely, to Breidablik (meaning Broad-Shining). The middle misty darkness contains the dark face of the peacefully tranquil new black moon. The dark feminine origin of Asgard's Breidablik, the fairest of halls, can be found in Niflheim, the home of Hel.
Monday, March 31, 2014
In follow-up to my previous post, linking Hel, Baldur and Nanna, and further noting my middle name Ann to be the core letters of the name Nanna, last night's nightly rune drawing was Uruz, a rune linked to Nanna and to the concepts of archetypal patterning, endurance, organic structuring and manifestation. Nanna is the goddess upon which my own vital force is patterned.
In follow up to a previous post This Is Hel, I need to clarify that my experience of darkness does not include the feeling of dread (as some might think it would). On the contrary, in darkness there is profound peace and tranquility. At least this is true for the misty darkness I experienced before being thrust out into the realm of "becoming being".
While I identify the misty darkness I experienced between the periods of happy brightness as being within the Ginnungagap (perhaps even more specifically, within the northern side of the Ginnungagap in Niflheim), it was not at all an unhappy place of dread. In it, was folksoul. It is home to me. I yearned to return.
Honestly, it only after I left that "misty dark place" that I felt dread - the dread existed for me in the gray coldness of becoming - the beginning of the journey into incarnation was not happy for me - I did not want to come into being and wanted to go back. I had to be enticed to continue into becoming incarnated - and as i incarnated, the future happy brightness waiting for me was held out like a carrot to keep me from trying to go back again. The happy brightness, the misty darkness - both were good and not dreadful. The happy brightness I experienced is associated with a masculine energy around me - maybe this is the presence of Baldur around me. Baldur is part of my soul complex in some manner.
What is it with Hel and Baldur? They're like 2 peas in a pod to me.
In my experience of consciousness, the ancestral goddesses Hel and Nanna are the same, and the two faces of Hel (one dark, one light) hint to the two full phases (dark and full) of the Moon (Nanna, Baldur's wife). Science tells us that the Moon is literally the daughter of the proto-Earth (Erda), born from the collision of the primeval earth with the proto-planet Theia (a word which means goddess and whose full name Theia Euryphaessa means goddess of brightness and light). Consequently, this makes the present earth and the present moon to be divisions of the Erda-Theia hybrid proto-planet into two forms - again which liken to the two faces of Hel and the two full phases of Nanna.
Another thing, certainly names have experiential magical meaning, so it is significant to my own experience of consciousness that Nanna is also known by the names Anna and Inanna - and that my own middle name is Ann, the core letters of the name Nanna.
Friday, March 28, 2014
As of now, in the 12-marker Y-DNA test, my dad's fatherline has several exact matches. The top 5 countries (in order of frequency) are: England/UK, Germany, Ireland, Denmark and Scotland. The top closest matches in the 25-marker test are: England, Germany, and Norway/Scotland (tied). The top closest matches in the 37-marker test are: England, Germany, Scotland, Finland.
I2b1c (I-M223 SNP P78+) has the highest frequency in Germany, Netherlands, Denmark and England. Given my dad's top Y-DNA matches, I have ordered testing for SNP 78 to see if my dad is in the I2b1c subclade of I2b1.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Like Odin, my preincarnate experiential consciousness extends back, not only into the Ginnungagap, but even before that into the period prior to the previous Ragnarok. My memory within the Ginnungagap is characterized by a misty darkness. In contrast, my last memory of the period prior to the last Ragnarok is characterized by a happy brightness (as it will again at the end of this cycle, as I visioned it before I was born). To me, the faces of the goddess Hel pertain to these distinctions. My memory begins (in a fashion) with brightness, passes into a misty darkness, and will again be characterized by a happy brightness. Hel represents the feminine experience of eternal consciousness, from passing away, to new arising, to being/becoming. She carries the whole uninterrupted eternal cycle of consciousness. To me, this is Hel.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
I found this (Germanic Origins From the Perspective of the Y Chromosome, Michael Robert St. Clair, University of California, Berkeley, Spring 2012) while researching for information on my Dad's I2b1 (I-M223) Hg. On page 47, it says regarding my Dad's Hg:
The frequency of the I-M223 mutation peaks in Germany and the Netherlands, and is present in about 10% of men in both countries. Rootsi and others suggest that the the Central European I-Group (I-M223) co-migrated with the Scandinavian I-Group (I-M253) from an Iberian refuge area following the last ice age.
This paper further goes to report that Hg I (both I1 and I2 branches which are further subdivided into regional I-Groups - Scandinavian, Balkan, Sardinian and Central European) is found almost exclusively in Europe and has been in Europe since the Paleolithic. The paper discusses other major European Y-Hg's too.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
wrote this poem about 20 years ago describing one of my preincarnate
memories of my journey into physical existence before I was born. I've
titled and retitled it several times over the years. I'm now retitling
it again - COSMOS.
first rhythms ever plunge, eternal hosts driven into life
drawing through a field of topographic brilliance
where judgment lovingly flows, churning out whole stones
resting against asymmetries trying, like diamonds in chaos
proto-perception foams, over annihilating operations
and from it, dark bursts of lucidity finely entwine
coarse grains of almost something, almost yet sufficient
the silent rush of yet nothing slides, wildly as percolating pivots
diligently thread through it, casting clarity
upon myriads, hard pauses startle into vision
projecting arrays without mass, strings of confluency
impressing discovery, a shadowy tail-end lingers
between depths of opposite observation
iterating embraces of many meanings like quasi-quanta
gathering functions about the head and, and
spinning spectra, pushing forward, yearning toward home
not knowing, yet only knowing
as some featureless reach edging edges stretches out
the magnetic sweet dance
where divisions collapse like crystal caves
softly sprinkling the belly of the night divine
with bytes of thoughtbare kisses
extending the glorious field of apprehension
Home - GINNUNGAGAP. In the ancient tradition of my ancestors, ginnungagap is the name of the vast primordial "place" from which proceeds unfolding of ever-evolving manifestation. One etymological interpretation of the Old Norse word ginnungagap is the "magical (and creative) power-filled space."
Friday, March 07, 2014
extremely arrogant to make ignorant and condescending statements about
other belief systems at a funeral, especially when it cannot be assumed
in this day and age that everyone present at a funeral will be
christian. The dumb-as-an-ass preacher giving the eulogy this afternoon
and told mourners today that "death is only for heathens, pagans,
buddhists, hindus (and other non-Christians)." What a crock of complete ignorant bullpooh!
I'm a heathen, a pagan, a witch. When I give up my physical body and go to be with my Ancestors in Valhalla, I will still be a heathen, a pagan, a witch. This is who I am. I will be true to myself even if the whole world hates me for it. I will never deny MY TRUTH. And I am not ashamed, I am not cowed by stupid people, nor will I let this ignorant preacher's insult go unchallenged before the eyes and ears of my children and grandchildren who were also at the funeral today.
Heathens and pagans do not aspire to go to heaven. We do not aspire to be with Jesus. We do not go to a christian hell when our bodies expire. We do not fear eternal death, as some christians think we must.
To my family and friends who are christians, learn what you do not know. Do not accept what is spewed to you by ignorant preachers from the pulpit about non-christians. Above all, respect people of other faiths and beliefs, regardless of whether they are heathens, pagans, buddhists, hindus, jews, muslims, atheists or whatever. Don't be ignorant and don't let the ignorance of others, even if they are a preacher, sway you to be disrespectful of other people's spirituality and immortal soul.
This is the prayer I want said at my funeral ...
Lo, there do I see my father.
Lo, there do I see my mother, my sisters and my brothers.
Lo, there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning.
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them in the halls of Valhalla,
Where the brave, they live forever.
If any stupid preachers come to my funeral and insult other faiths or proselytise, I will haunt everyone!!!
Sunday, March 02, 2014
I've wondered about the purpose of ritual boasting, especially boasting about our ancestors during symbel.
The Serbian expression "busati se u grudi" means to boast, but literally it means to strike oneself in the chest while speaking about your own exploits.
This literal interpretation of boasting hints to the extreme antiquity of the practice of boasting. Indeed, boasting predates our evolution into homo sapiens sapiens and connects us to our ancestors in the remote past.
Ever seen a gorilla boast - beating his chest in a display of power?
Humans also do this - boast - both verbally, and as the Serbian expression informs us, while beating the chest as well.
Because humans and gorillas share this behavior, this means that this behavior was acquired by us in the remote past through a common ancestor before our ancestral paths split from another. Boasting is not only a display of power, it is an act which links us to our remote ancestors and evokes through us the power of all of our Mighty Ancestors up through epochs of time.
I'll never again look at the practice of boasting as a mere exercise of ego - oh no, it is a powerful act of communication through which we arouse the might and main of our ancestors even back to the first primal parents.
The boast - just how primordial is this practice really? Perhaps it can be traced back to the beginning of life itself.
And here is my boast for today - my ancestors survived snowball earth, the Permian mass extinction, the asteroid which wiped out the dinosaurs, multiple ice ages, the Toba super-volcano eruption and the black plague. My ancestors are survivors!