Confronting Demons Starting Years Ago

י״ז בתמוז תשע"א
Faunus 19

First the background - from several sources (including Mystical Paths and Daily Halacha) we learn about the demon Keteb Meriri:

The Shulhan Aruch was written as a strictly Halachic code, rarely includes Kabbalistic concepts in presenting Halachic guidelines. Yet, the Shulhan Aruch writes that during the three weeks one should not go outdoors to partially shady areas between the fourth and ninth hours (referring to Halachic hours) of the day (approximately 9:30am – 3:30pm) due to the demon “Keteb Meriri”, when this demon is most threatening. He adds that during this period, parents should make a point not to hit their children, and teachers should likewise refrain from smacking students, in order to avoid risks.

The Midrash Shoher Tob (Tehillim 91) speaks about a dangerous “demon” called “Keteb Meriri” that is covered with scales and hair, has eyeballs all over its body, and sees from the eye situated on its chest. It generally resides in areas that are partly sunny and partly shady, and moves by rolling like a ball. Anyone who comes near this demon, the Midrash comments, exposes himself to great danger. The Midrash in fact relates that there were schoolchildren who suffered harm as a result of “Keteb Meriri.” It is specifically during the three weeks of between Shiba Asar Be’Tamuz and Tisha B’Ab, the Midrash teaches, that this harmful spirit surfaces and poses danger.

The Midrash tells the story of Rabbi Abahu who saw a teacher with a branch ready to hit an unruly student. Rabbi Abahu sharply condemned the teacher, noting that “Keteb Meriri” was standing right behind him with an iron rod, ready to strike. This story shows the dangers of administering any type of corporal punishment during this period, when we are exposed to the dangers of “Keteb Meriri.”

For the same reason, one should refrain from unnecessary travel during the three weeks. Hacham Ovadia Yosef writes that the rule during this period is “Ashreh Yoshebeh Betecha” – “Fortunate are those who dwell in Your home,” meaning, it is far preferable to remain at home rather than travel. Children, especially, must be supervised very carefully during the three weeks so they are protected from danger. Although it is customary to allow recreational trips and swimming during this period, extra care must be taken to ensure safety. In particular, one must not travel alone, in a deserted area, between the fourth and ninth hours of the day – approximately 9:30am-3:30pm – during the three weeks, because of the danger posed by the “demons” which roam freely at that time. This refers only to deserted area; it is certainly permissible to travel to a city alone during these hours.

The Aruch Ha’shulhan cites authorities who limit this Halacha to uninhabited areas, such as forests and the like. Inside a city, however, the presence of many people, as well as the presence of Mezuzot on the doorposts, offers a degree of protection from this harmful spirit.

On one level, this restriction essentially renders this Halacha practically irrelevant nowadays, when we usually spend our time in towns, cities and other inhabited areas. Nevertheless, this Halacha demonstrates the importance of avoiding danger during this three-week period and keeping a “low profile,” as this period is particularly suited for mishaps and calamity, Heaven forbid.

Second, evidence for some past life - preincarnate confrontation with Keteb Meriri exists within a poem (Dark Torah) I wrote a long time ago describing a pre-incarnate vision remembrance which occurred before I was born:

from the mind inscribed before time in a dreamlike primeval existence
before my life began, at your side, I loved you
set before seeing, witnessing the violent play of creation
rising jagged with twisting thorns ascending toward there
wild and fierce the bloody storm from below, a churning pit of cold fire and coal
dripping with pain torn from earth, cutting edges
raging from a lawless horror, a terror untamed upon the earth
spreading as a plague coming near with powerful fury, iterating screams
reverberating with dysrhythm, the battering melody shattering the noise of silence
in agony melding together, into a cyclone of spiraling shrill despair
hopeless, the sound of an inky blackness, line upon line writing
a writhing scroll, twisted with affliction, death and blood everywhere
below the colorlessness of the sanctuary where I stood, immobile in the sight
testifying, not forgotten, revealing some wordless cry of terror
embedding beyond the throat, becoming chained in the belly
burning my world, descending into the hallowed depths of my heart
with no way to restrain it, its direction of attraction
toward me the knife came to cut
please see me! I am here! I cried without sound - to you as you watched it climb up
as you watched it climb up with some curious, strange fascination
not seeing me, or disregarded, either way, outside your direction of attention
as the rabid destruction erupted up the wall, and all I could do to escape the blade
becoming broken, I turned away, pulling myself in ... only to be thown away
thrown down, as a coarse grain into the only history I ever knew, and I know
what you did, throwing me down to be ripped apart, for those who would destroy me
why do you hate me - still you don't see me, you don't hear me, and you don't care
try as I might to rewrite the story, I cannot forget the truth
and some things can never be fixed

Third, the demon Keteb Meriri in Hebrew is written כתב מרירי.

The word keteb (כתב) means to "write", "written works", "script", "compose", "author (written works)", "reporter", "engrave", "address (someone)", "copy", and to "add someone as a recipient". The vowelized pronunciation keteb most directly refers to the meanings "to address; to copy, to add someone as a recipient ; and (biblical) to engrave".

The word meriri (מרירי) can mean either "bitter" or "bittersweet", assuming we accept that the word meriri derives from the shoresh (Hebrew root) מרר. However, as it is with the human condition, we have the choice to not accept things as they are and to choose an alternative root path, to choose our reality, and to create our future reality.

For instance, it is clear in my pre-incarnate memory that I was shown a very bitter reality and much of my life has indeed been bitter (as just about anyone who has ever met me is so well aware of this that I need to link no evidence). My vision as I initially experienced it was from the perspective of the shoresh מרר. But, as an Eternal Being with choice, I can also choose to see that my vision was also experienced from the initially hidden but now revealed perspective of the shoresh מור. My vision (seeing eye) was from a point of connection with Keteb Meriri in a liminal place "partially sunny and partially shady" (a conscious place of proto-physical existence) and "situated in the chest" in the "letter of connection", namely Vav (ו). Consequently, it is indeed also my reality that I experienced this preincarnate vision in the emerging light of the shoresh מור. Why is this important? Because the shoresh מור means to "exchange", "transform" and "change fate".

Fourth, rewriting the story and changing fate. When I wrote my poem describing my preincarnate experience, I had tried to change my fate and to rewrite my story several times over the course of my life - failing every time to manifest my desire for a good outcome. When I wrote the poem, though still operating under the influence of the shoresh מרר, I believe the very act of writing the poem honestly, without lying about its ugliness and without untrue beautifications, exchanged in the act the shorashim, transforming the operative root in my life from מרר to מור, enabling me to transform my life and to rewrite my story. In writing the poem honestly, I effectively "called out" Keteb Meriri to confrontation with me, Me.

My life has not been bitter for several years now. Honoring my Ancestors, and with loving wholehearted acceptance incorporating the Pagan aspects of my Being into the reality of my life were very instrumental in revealing deep joy in my life and to achieving a successful outcome to the confrontation with the demon Keteb Meriri. I am a Jewitch and I have done it.

Fifth, Ancestral Talismans for Successful Confrontation:

TOR Talisman CELTIC WITCH Charm Bottle Necklace with 13 Traditional Celtic Ethnobotanicals

TORAH Talisman JEWISH WITCH Charm Bottle Necklace with 13 Traditional Jewish Ethnobotanicals

WYRD WORKER Perthro Runic Talisman NORDIC Witch Bottle Necklace for Turning and Influencing the Karmic Primal Layers of Reality

Trapped By Enchantment

כ״ז בסיון תשע"א
Alban Heruin 29

As a Jewitch, I am often asked what is the critical difference between magic and mysticism? and how can I resolve practicing witchcraft against the Torah's seeming prohibition on witchcraft with the claim that I am a Torah observant Jew?

There is a chapter in a book by Adin Steinsaltz (The Strife of the Spirit) which discusses the traditional rabbinic view of magic and mysticism, between that prohibited by Torah and that allowed by Torah. In this chapter, Rabbi Steinsaltz explains that the critical difference between Torah-prohibited magic and Torah-allowed magic all comes down to who does it and from what level the power comes. Engaging in magical pursuits, from a rabbinic perspective, is dangerous until one reaches a certain "madreiga" or spiritual level of developmental maturity. Prior to attaining that level, the rabbis believe that a person can become fascinated with power (that is, trapped by enchantment) in such a way that a person's continued spiritual development is impeded. The rabbis recognize that oftentimes many of the powers associated with witchcraft naturally unfold as one evolves spiritually, but also recognize that powers may also unfold prematurely leading to a detrimental enchantment with power. In other words, a person is liable to become trapped by an enchantment with the very real power released through magical-mystical practices such that he or she becomes confused and deadlocked spiritually. For this reason, rabbinic tradition discourages magical/mystical pursuits, and in my opinion, has misled laypeople as to what the Torah actually teaches about magic and mysticism. Interestingly, the situation in traditional rabbinic Judaism today suggests that many rabbis are indeed confused spiritually and trapped by an enchantment with power.

Enchantment of a whole group of people is not unheard of in the occult mysteries. In Celtic magical-mystical tradition, the story of a whole city's enchantment is told in the first branch of the Mabinogion in the tale known as The Enchantment of Dyfed. In consequence to enchantment, except for four individuals, the lives of all of the city's inhabitants became suspended. In other words, they became spiritually deadlocked not too unlike rabbinic Judaism today.

We cannot always judge what is permitted and what is prohibited by the labels we put on practices. Sometimes we can only make a proper judgement as to what is prohibited and what is allowed by its effect upon us.

I note as an interesting side observation - as with the Judaic tale of the Exodus, the number four figures prominently in the Celtic tale of Dyfed as well.

Unique Paths Through The Sea

ט"ו בניסן תשע"א
Annwyn 17

In both Jewish Midrash and Talmud, Rabbinic tradition tells us that each Hebrew tribe walked its own path (netivah) through the Yam Suf (Red Sea, the Sea of Reeds) at the Exodus, and that to accomplish this, the Sea actually parted into twelve unique sections to accommodate the uniqueness of each collective tribe within Klal Yisrael. Now, as a Jewitch, this is an interesting tradition to drill down into. If, as the Rabbis teach, the Sea can part twelve times to accommodate the uniqueness of each Hebrew tribe within the Klal, then the Sea can also part the unique path for me (and likewise for every individual) to accommodate my unique Jewish path as a Jewitch within my tribe and within the Klal.

So mote it be, אמן.

Read an article about a few other Jewitches: Nice Jewitch Girls Leave Their Brooms in the Closet

A Strong East Wind

ה' אדר א' תשס"ט
Keolwulf 6

In follow-up to my earlier entry Messengers of the Black Goddess, where a strong east wind saved me from being swallowed up in an ocean of molten earth:

The Divine will battle for you ... then the Divine said to her there ... by the sea [of molten earth], held back through a strong east wind of the Night [Black Goddess], to pass through upon dry ground ... Shemot 14:14-22

where the earth divided, [facing east] molten on my left, solid ground on my right.

Related entries:
Four Winds From The Lips Of A Song
Ketoret Samim And Ketoret Zarah

The Divine Spark On Oaths & Obligations

כ"ו שבט תשס"ט
Imbolgen 26

Gavrielah (Thoughts Of A Jewitch) is a convert to Judaism interested in Jewitchery, but she has a concern regarding an oath she made at her conversion:

I accept Judaism to the exclusion of all other religions, faiths and practices and now pledge my loyalty to Judaism and the Jewish people under all circumstances.

She is wrestling with the idea that incorporating practices of other earth-based spiritualities into her Judaism might make her an oathbreaker. She writes:

Item #3 [quoted above] is the problem and makes me wonder if in stepping outside of recognized Jewish practices I'm an oathbreaker. Many rabbis and Jews would say yes including probably the ones who created that oath and the rabbi who oversaw my conversion but how much should that really count for?

Well, if Gavrielah has ever gone to a Kol Nidre service on Yom Kippur following joining up with the Jewish people and recited the Kol Nidre prayer, she is free to be any kind of Jewish person her neshamah leads her to be, including a Jewitch kind of Jew. Both Judaism and Witchcraft recognize that one's obligation to his or her unique Divine Spark supercedes to nullify her obligation to and liability for 'breaking' any religious oath to any set of religious practices, including those of Judaism.

May a vow never become a prison for your soul. Wherever your path may lead, may you be free to go.

Related entries:

Judaism's View On Religious Vows
Witchcraft's View On Religious Vows

Blooding The Cord & The Man In Black

ז' שבט תשס"ט
Imbolgen 7

In follow-up to my entry Will, The Man In Black, an excerpt from the article Blood Rites (in The Crooked Path Journal, Issue 3) by Peter Paddon (British witch and practitioner of Traditional Witchcraft):

Not all British Traditions use a cord or cingulam, but for those who do, it has very special significance. In the Path that I follow, the cord represents the Tradition, the Coven, the lineage and the initiate's connection to them. The Guardian or Man in Black can use the cord to grasp a covener who has 'slipped away' between the worlds and bring them back to where they are meant to be.

At initiation, the Magister and Mistress will blood the cord of the new initiate, to seal the promises made. In my Path, the promises are made to teach and guide the initiate to the best of our ability, to help them find their true Path, wherever it may be, and to accept them fully to our hearth and hearts. Other Traditions have other promises, and possibly other symbolism too, but this is how we do it. The initiate also bloods the cord at that time, sealing their own promise to their Gods and their Ancestors to do their best to follow their Path, wherever it may lead them.

Thus, the Guardian of my Coven is my ancestor Will Grunwald and the two bloods now definitely sealed on the cord of my Coven are the combined Traditions of my Jewish and British/Welsh ancestors.

UPDATE - Music To My Irish Soul & The 3-Fold Cord

Elixir Of Life & The Mitzvah Of Witchcraft

ג' כסלו תשס"ט
Shamash 4

The twelfth shaman stone in my Temple Collection is the healing Unicorn Stone, Infinite (a variety of Serpentine). Infinite is known by healers as "the miracle-working stone."

Shamanic qualities of Unicorn include the transmutation of suffering and of poison. When the spirit of Unicorn has drunk of a poison water, all the water is cleansed, enabling other creatures to drink of it safely.

In terms of Torah, this stone symbolizes the transmutation of the Elixir of Death into an Elixir of Life.

Mythically, this stone has correspondence to transmutation of the illuminating poison (as in the novel Dune) to expand consciousness and unlock "Other Memory".

As a Jewish witch, this stone corresponds to the transmutation of the halachic prohibition against practising witchcraft into the mitzvah of practising witchcraft.

Torah Unlike Any Other

י"ג אלול התשס"ח
Belz 15

Witchcraft on the edge. As the working draft of my soon to be published for posterity book, introducing my new blog -

Garden Of The Dark Moon Jubilee

Sidhe Moon Of Black Fire Atop White Fire

כ"ט אב התשס"ח
Belz 1
Sidhe Moon of Shabbat Belz Machar Chodesh

Black Fire Atop White Fire
one of my Walking On Fire avatars at LiveJournal

I came home yesterday from work to find that I had finally received the new book in the mail that I had ordered a few weeks ago - The Sidhe, Wisdom From The Celtic Otherworld. I had been waiting for the book on aes sídhe (pronounced 'ess shee') to arrive for an unusually extended period of time and had been considering contacting the bookseller soon to inquire as to the possibility that my book order or the shipment had been lost. That would not be necessary now, for The Sidhe arrived just in time for shabbat of the Sidhe Moon.

A Sidhe Moon, also called the Other Moon, is the uncommon phenomenon of two Black Moons occurring in one solar month. The second Black Moon in such a month is called the Sidhe or Fairy Moon. This rare lunar event occurs today, in the year of 2008/5768, on shabbat (weekly Jewish sabbath) of the Torah portion Re'eh (meaning 'see'), on the first day of the Witch's month of Belz (Days of Fire), and on the penultimate day of the Hebrew month of Av (Days of the Young Shoot/bud).

Torah Of The Sidhe - Black Fire Atop White Fire

The first letter of the Hebrew alphabet is aleph (א). The penultimate letter of the Hebrew alphabet is shin (ש). Together, the letters aleph-shin spell the Hebrew word esh (אש) meaning 'fire'. The period of time corresponding to the Witch's month of Belz is, as written above, called 'Days of Fire'.

White Fire corresponds to the two Hebrew letters of the word esh, meaning 'fire', symbolizing the mutable Light of Awareness. Black Fire corresponds to the dark Sidhe Moon of the month of Belz, the Days of Fire, and to the immutable note of a Dark Essence Ancient of Days brought forth through the Old Forest Craft of this shamanic Jewitch. Interestingly, the Sidhe teach of the unique note each creature and species contribute to the exquisite song of All Being within the pages of the book I received yesterday afternoon.

The Sidhe Moon is an element from the Teaching of Green Witchcraft. Interwoven with this teaching of Green Witchcraft is a teaching of Torah.

Torah is also a Teaching Tradition (like Green Witchcraft) which describes the Blueprint of Creation and is itself described in the Midrash (Jewish mythology) as “black fire atop white fire” (Sifrei, on Deuteronomy 33:3).

Integrating all these ideas simply and wholly, we can see that not only is there Wisdom among the Sidhe, we can see that there is Torah among the Sidhe as well. Equally important, just as tzaddikim may have Da'at Torah (integral knowledge of mystical-magical Law-Teaching), so too may witches have Da'at Torah.

And so begins my relationship this shabbat with the Sidhe, with black fire atop white fire.

Modern Exodus

כ"ה אב התשס"ח
Lughnasadh 26

50,000 women abandoning church every year as Buffy the Vampire Slayer turns them on to witchcraft

Christian churches in England have lost at least 50,000 women from their congregations every year since 1989, says a sociologist.

Dr Aune added: 'In short, women are abandoning the church. Because of its focus on female empowerment, young women are attracted by Wicca, popularised by the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

'Young women tend to express egalitarian values and dislike the traditionalism and hierarchies they imagine are integral to the church.'

Read the full article at link above.

Jewitchery is a growing phenomenon as well as is Wicca and other flavors of witchcraft. Clearly, patriarchies are on their way out as far as Western women are concerned. We aren't going back to Mitzrayim.

Hishtavut - Her Sound In The Garden

כ'ו באייר תשס"ח
Mab 27

Erev Shabbat (counting yet not counting yesod of yesod - or 41 days which is 5 weeks and 6 days of the Omer - by both the Ari and the Gra), a long line of tornadic thunderstorms rolled through the midwest. In some of the surrounding counties hailstones the size of golf balls came down, Doppler Radar 4x reported live on channel 10 last night. Several tornadoes touched down. In Indianapolis, CNN reports this morning:

At least 14 people were injured late Friday night as a severe thunderstorm with at least one possible tornado ripped through Indianapolis' east side and other nearby counties.

Buildings were heavily damaged at the Falcon Point apartments on Marietta Drive, off 38th Street and Mitthoeffer Road.

About 150 people from the complex were evacuated to John Marshall Middle School.

Foxnews reports that no deaths have resulted from the severe tornadic storms that rolled through the area last night. That 150 people were evacuated to the Middle School is particularly interesting, because this is what happened to me last evening.

What would the Shabbat storm tell me?

During the height of the storm in my area, I prepared and dressed my Shabbat candles, one of which was a stone charged, herbally charged earth element green pillar candle. Carved with mystic symbols, dressed with my own blend of Ceridwen oil, and handrolled with a special faery blend of botanicals, I brought their flames to life.

Then, I went to get a stick of dragon's blood incense. Only, after picking up the package of dragon's blood, I decided I wanted to use a stick of Witches Brew instead. Opening the drawer to one of my herb cabinets, I pulled out a package of Witches Brew stick incense. I have several packages of Witches Brew stick incense. I held for a moment the first sealed package I had picked up in my hand, then replaced it back into the cabinet drawer, picking up a different package of Witches Brew that had been taped closed. Not this one. Exchanging the packages for a second time, I returned to the first package I had originally picked up, opened it and pulled out a stick of Witches Brew incense.

אב with a gematria of 3, restoration of the broken vav of shalom.

The incense-containing ends of the incense in packages of Witches Brew are not visible. One chooses an incense stick by the bare wood ends that rest near the opening of the package. The Witches Brew incense stick I pulled out was split several inches up the grain of the wood on the now-double (like Shabbat loaves joining 7 heavens with the ark of the covenant in the core of the earth) ended incense-bearing end of the stick. In other words, the bare end was whole (one) and the incense end was split (two). Both lengths of the split bore the Witches Brew blend of botanicals. I lit both ends simultaneously in the earth elemental Shabbat candle flame and placed the incense stick smoldering side down into the Celtic triquetra smoking bottle style incense burner on my altar.

My shamanic alphabet divination consisted of 3 Hebrew letters and 1 Ogham letter.

First, around 8:22 p.m., using my standard and rather simple procedure (where I do not see the 3 letters I am selecting from among 22 otiot), I pulled out 3 Hebrew letter cards, in this order:

קלכ

With a gematria of 150, the word means 'your sound' as found in Bereshit 3:10 - "and I heard the 'sound of your voice' in the garden."

Then, also according to my simple standard procedure (where I also do not see the 1 letter I am selecting from among 20 feda, each fid pyrographed into one of my 20 Ogham staves), I pulled out 1 Ogham letter stave:

Nin - the letter of support, connection, feminine power and writing for clarity and contract. It can also mean "fork" (like my Witches Brew incense stick was "forked" at one end). A fork is a bifurcation within chaos with the power to radically change the course of reality and history.

In Ogam, Weaving Word Wisdom, Erynn Rowan Laurie writes on nin:

[Nin is a fid of] weaving together individuals and energies into a greater tapestry of cooperation and peace. In Gaelic terms it expresses a concept akin to the Lakota phrase mitakuye oyasin or "all my relations". Nin is a fid of relationships, both familial and conceptual.

Relationships with others also bring obligation as well as support. Where you are supported, you are also in a place to provide support to others who need your assistance. Nin is the fid of a friend.

Nin's magic is that of weaving and community creation. It can be used to help bring people together for a common cause, and is good for working on peace projects and other tasks that bring disparate people and communities together. Its link with letters and contracts means that it can be used in workings for clarity and understanding in written communications and to help keep legal proceedings in a clear and cooperative space.

With the celestial current, this fid is one of clarity and communication. It suggests harmony and peace in relationships, and speaks of friendship, cooperation and common cause among diverse people. Nin brings connections through communication, and urges you to look for deeper meaning. Nin's link with writing and contracts by necessity brings a connection with the law and the establishment of social order through legal means.

Legally whole peace of rare strength.

Nin corresponds to the ash tree and the herb nettle.

Nettle cloth is stronger and wears better than linen, though fewer fibers can be gleaned from nettle than from flax.

In Ogam, The Celtic Oracle Of Trees, Paul Rhys Mountfort writes on nin/ash:

Ash is a check on peace, for from it [the ash tree] are made the spear shafts by which peace is broken [or restored].

Erynn and Paul both teach that according to Celtic tradition, ash/nin corresponds to 'the contest, boast or flight of women.' Consequently, the contest of women can break peace apart or women's weaving can bring it together into a freedom song of flight. The reality of whole peace or broken quasi-peace/war is given over to the Divine Feminine, manifesting through the collective soul of Womankind.

Paul writes further on nin/ash:

Nin is the ash, a great and sacred tree in Celtic mythology ... presiding over the processes of transformation and manifestation.

This ogam is linked to fate. This does not mean that destiny is iron-cast, but points to the unique fate-path that you have to pursue in this world - one which, although it contains many possible options, is singular to you and no one else. Nin counsels you to regard the continuous unfolding of events as signposts, prompting and guiding you on your journey.

It also challenges you to take up the wand of manifestation and make reality anew for yourself. Positivity, creative visualization, ritual and spellcraft are all instruments of manifestation you may wish to draw upon.

One of ash's greatest features is the massive height to which the tree grows; up to 150 feet. It has quite a sheer trunk with widely spaced branches, and this pole-like appearance contributed to its association in Celtic and Nordic thought to the axis mundi: the central column and axis that supports the sky. As such, it also appears as a type of bridge between the earth and heavens.

Ogam wands were originally made of ash, and the root word nin means 'letters'.

In both cases [of illustrative myth stories shared in the book] we see a symbolic transformation or rite of passage from being controlled by fate to having it in one's own hands. From this flow nin's associations as a tree letter of empowerment in matters of transformation and destiny. In drawing the nin, it is as if you have been handed a magical tool of ash with which to work your will in the world.

I carved the letter nin into my Jewitch wand (the two forms of the letter shin already carved into it at the wand's initial creation), a tool of destiny within my hands, here now in this post with real-world and earthy correspondences to:

* magical letters of creation and transformation

* shins of chochmah (300) and binah (150-150), distinct yet as one

* the middle pillar, ha-emtsa

* hishtavut, magical-mystical balance (nin/150 - קלכ/150) and achieving an immunity to curses

* double-loaved challah, tikun and transformation of evil into holiness

* transformation of a 'curse' (קלל) into a 'blessing' (קלכ)

* restoration of the Divine Feminine

* restoration of the Kohenet Tzedeket (axis mundi, tzadikim nistarim)

* unification (height of nin and gematria of קלכ equals 300/shin)

* restoration of the broken vav of peace (the halved, broken wand of Pinchas transformed into a messianic split middle vav of the Hebrew letter shin)

By this time after carving my wand, the fury of the storm had passed over, but it was still raining heavily and thunderous outside, with lightning dancing across the dark skies. I went outside, felt the magic of the fiercely gentle wind in my face, and let the cool rainwater pour over me as I walked widdershins (holding the essential power of Dark Light) 3 times and 4 upon the wet sacred ground where I walked barefoot like a point of connection joining the entire expanse of heaven with the center of the earth. I felt the soft current of connection sparkling most intimately through the soles of my feet - the heat of the heart of heaven joined to the heat in the womb of the earth as they collided together in the wet cool grass against my skin.

Wholy awesome!

Kept in a black resin pentacle box at the face of my altar when not in ritual use, I slept with my spirit cord around my waist this Shabbat night last night.

Related entry:
Shalshelet HaKabbalah: Weaving A New World, The Filled Nine

Useful Information For The Budding Jewitch

י'א באדר א' תשס"ח
Keolwulf 12

"Google" truly is a friend in the computer age. There is so much useful information online for the budding Jewitch to explore.

One version of the Siddur (translated into English and in transliterated Hebrew) is online. One can also find examples of rituals from the traditions of Kabbalistic and Magical Judaism, Witchcraft, Druidry and Shamanism online, in addition to articles on the basic structural elements of ritual making. A sampling of offline books one may purchase which explore the basic ritual elements are in my online library listing, under the tags "ritual" and "mitzvot" (as some mitzvot are ritualistic). Here are two potentially useful starter links, one outlining the basic elements of Wiccan witch ritual and one outlining the basic elements of Jewish ritual.

Then, with a baseline knowledge acquired in these areas, one can create a preliminary ritual tailored toward one's own practice. Remember, it's okay to use somebody else's ritual until you feel you are ready or want to make your own. In fact, I'd advise a budding Jewitch to find one you like and start with it so that you can start "practicing", to loosen up and begin exercising mystical muscles. Even when you make your own ritual or personalize someone else's for your own use, even then, your basic ritual can morph and evolve over time as you develop a personal style. Nothing "has to" remain as it is first created.

Before learning the Hebrew language (which I'm not fluent in either) learn the mystical meanings of the Hebrew letters. If you are drawn toward a second magical alphabet (I also use the Ogham, but there are many other magical alphabets which might be more interesting to you personally), learn those letters as well. Start with only one alphabet and master it first, as it could be confusing to try and learn two at once.

Don't think you have to become an expert overnight - much of the spiritual development is in the journey of "becoming" what you already are most completely.

Follow Your Bliss

י'א באדר א' תשס"ח
Keolwulf 12

I was recently asked if I could teach someone to be a Jewitch. I don't know how to teach anyone to be a Jewitch.

I don't believe such a thing can be taught, it must be discovered. Perhaps methods of exploration and discovery can be taught and learnt, but the path each of us must travel is unique. That written, here is my guidance toward someone taking the first steps on a path of exploration and discovery.

There are links to Jewitchy and Kabbalah sites on my blogs, and a link to my "library" from where one might find some books with which to start learning "about" esoteric subjects such as Jewitchery, Kabbalah, Witchcraft, Druidry and Shamanism. The spiritual development work doesn't really come from books however, it begins by being true to yourself, exploring your inner world honestly, and following your bliss. By "bliss" I don't mean that which is necessarily fun or pleasurable in the typical sense. By "bliss" I mean the profound sense of pristine inner joy that is one's own spark of godliness - it will never lie to you. Follow where it leads.

Advent Of The Black Crow & The Exodus

י"ב בשבט תשס"ח
Imbolgen 12

I began reading my new book, Underworld Initiation by R. J. Stewart a few days ago. Nearly three weeks ago, I posted my dream, Cleave Land, writing in that post of red birds and of the advent of one black bird:

Off to the side of the road there was a huge field completely full of singing red birds. There were so many singing red birds that the songs and the birds themselves blurred into one sound and sight of indistinct red chaos, yet I concentrated (almost as if pulling myself inward together) to listen for a distinct message to come out from among them.

I focused. Many of the red birds suddenly just disappeared as if lifted off the page of the "place" I was seeing. No longer was there a blur of song and redness. Though the field was still full of birds, now I could see individual birds, whereas before they had all blurred together. Most were still red birds, but I could now see that there were birds of other colors scattered among them as well. Now, there was even a particular black bird whose voice emerged from the group and pulled my attention toward it. The black bird's song rose up as an individual song directly into my ear distinctly, out from the field of many birds.

In Underworld Initiation, R. J. Stewart writes:

This sphere is in fact, Feminine ... acting as a bridge of pure catabolic power between the Dark Mother and the Light or Instructing Mother. In Celtic lore, She is the Morrígan, the Red Bird of Battles, the active power of Death and Breakdown.

Mr. Stewart additionally writes of the Morrígan, whose totem is also a Black Crow, as the Archetype of Female Power as it pertains to further esoteric transformation of consciousness:

The Universal Tree may only be experienced direct, so words are of little value other than as loose instructions upon the way. Let us, like alchemists of old, seek the advent of the Black Crow.

The advent of the Black Crow in alchemy is a further development of the carrion crow who haunted the battlefields of ancient wars. The Crow is the Totem Beast of the Goddess of Death, breaking down the body that the spirit may be released. In our alchemical context, it is often described or shown in pictoral form as one of the stages of Transmutation.

Significantly, emergence of the Black Crow of liberation brings forth from the battlefield a particular path from among the various open paths which will lead one to the castle of the Kingdom.

The Red Sea of Birds of my dream symbolized wrestling with Judgment and the limitations of physicality (the Massa Confusa of Red Birds which lifted). The Red Birds which remained (Pelican stage of alchemical transmutation) in the (green) field of my dream acted as an anchor to physical incarnation. The "greenfield" of the dream correlates to my Jewish ancestral name Grunwald (meaning Greenfield) and to the alchemical stage of the Green Lion. The Birds of Many Colors in my dream refer to the Peacock's Tail stage, "the turning point" and signify that I am on the right path for my particularity. The Black Crow symbolizes liberation of consciousness from the pressing restrictions of the physical and psychic bodies, and an exodus from the dire straits of Mitzrayim. It's flight (as described in Cleave Land) symbolizes the rising of the Phoenix from The Flame:

The difference between my dream symbolism and that of typical alchemical transmutative processes is the absence of the "whitening" and "White Stone" stages. My particular chotimah is not only white, it is both a whitish (white flame and aura) and blackish (dark flame and coal) Flame of the Future World.

The cosmological Morrígan - an archetypal vehicle of deciding who will live and who will die.

Celtic Morrígan and Hebrew Lilith.

Morrígan as the guardian of Sovereignty.

Two Streams, One Winding Line Of Consciousness

כ"ז בטבת תשס"ח
Grael 28

This Shabbat, the black wax of my main ritual candle was cut quickly and completely down one side like a river cut into the wax (as the deep melted pool of wax drained from around the wick, see graphic, click to enlarge) to the candle holder (over 1-2 inches depending on the perspective of timeline) by the very high radically jumping and leaping flame connected to the wick’s fire. It happened so fast that I only noticed it as the melted black wax was already pouring down the side of my altar. The flame was so unusually high-jumping (I’d estimate it reached 6-9 inches at times), it was so furiously energetic, that I had put it out with a candle snuffer lest it reach over and catch fire the cloth which covered my crystal ball. After putting out the potential fire hazard, I stuck a fingertip into the melted, still warm but cooling, wax on the side of my altar cloth. I’m not sure why I did this. I just did it. I wanted to know the feel of the wax. What was the story it had to tell?

I read a bit of my new book, The Spirit Cord (whose esoteric disciplines I have begun to practice already), before going to sleep.

Following these things, Shabbat night I dreamt.

There was a pervasive catastrophe that devastated the area that included the city of Danville. The devastation bringing death concentrated east (tiferet) of Vermilion Street (which cuts through the center of the downtown business district in Danville). The raging torrent of a mighty river came with the devastating energy, flowing north (gevurah) to south (chesed) down Vermilion Street. Vermilion Street formed the “bed” (choshen mishpat) of the raging river which separated between the camp of life (located on the western side) and the camp of death (located on the eastern side).

Initially in the dream, my children and I lived on the eastern side where the death energy was beginning to concentrate. To escape it, we had to go west (yesod) and across the raging river. Unlike the Ba'al Shem Tov (who used a secret knowledge of Divine Names), I simply gathered up (enfolding involutionary stream) my children, who took the forms of a neutral colored slippery little earth-worm and a leather shoulder bag (like a Benjamin's bag) with a matching leather shoulder strap. I could easily and safely carry these forms with me across the raging river to safety. Before starting across the raging river, as I was about to tell the little earthworm form to get into a clear protective sandwich baggie (so it wouldn’t slip out of my grip as I carried it in the raging water), the little worm did it automatically as if it knew instinctively what it should do or what I was going to tell it. I had dipped the baggie into the river water so that it also contained a manageable amount of water to keep the worm wet and hydrated. As soon as I had done this and/or as I was doing it (simultaneously – tohu - yet distinctly in order - tikun) the worm entered into the clear baggie, which I carried in my hand. Similarly, the leather strapped-purse placed itself/was placed by me upon my shoulder.

Now my family and others who were walking with me toward safety stood together on the eastern bank of the raging river that was Vermilion Street, in the downtown business district. I was going to lead our little band across the raging river. I told everyone to walk carefully, not quickly, and to “feel out” each step each took “for him or herself” as they followed my footsteps across the raging river. They were to feel first before committing a foot to “stepping down” on the floor of the riverbed. The torrential churning current could wipe out the ground underwater and create a hole in the riverbed at any moment between individual steps. I explained, if a new hole arose, they were to take an alternate step than the one I took. "Don’t just step there because I did. See,” I said, feeling a new hole in the riverbed as I “felt” my own way as I started across, “here is a hole, and I am not stepping here (where my foot had originally been directed underneath the water and where those who followed could not see the redirection of my footstep in the churning water).” They indicated they understood. Carrying my children in easy-to-carry forms, one as a slippery worm in a river water-containing plastic baggie and two as the strap and bag of a leather purse, I continued through it, carefully feeling each step of the way. Many others followed my example across the raging river in one long winding single line (this is relevant to the purchase my besom yesterday morning, to the unbroken chain - mi'Sinai - of esoteric transmission, and to messianic consciousness) that extended from beyond the eastern (where death was concentrating in the dream) horizon behind me, across the river and onto the western shore.

I soon stepped centrally upon the western bank of the raging river to safety, as did all those behind me who had followed and were still (on the eastern side of the river) coming to join the “winding line” connected to a proven safe journey out of the camp of death and into the camp of life. I sat down for a moment to rest my aching (but not hurt) left hip muscle that had borne the primary portion of the burden of the workload of making it across.

As my children and I rested there, we “unwrapped” (unfolding evolutionary stream) ourselves in the atmosphere of safety on the western shore. I recognized an acquaintance (no form of any particular person I know in real life) sitting to the north of me who had also made it across the raging river. He appeared emotionally at a loss. Recognizing me as well, he got up from where he was sitting and walked over to me. He told me he had lost his family in the catastrophe and was alone. We reached out to one another simultaneously and placed our hands on the other’s opposite shoulders in a comforting gesture. Then, we leaned forward and touched our foreheads together, also a comforting gesture.

I woke up.

Path Of The Just

י'ד בכסלו תשס"ח
Shamash 16

Acting with the energy of the lights of Tohu, in vessels of Tikkun ... because I can.

This shabbat full moon esbat at 6:33 am, I woke up and wrote down the major symbols of a complex dream so I would remember them.

I saw two Hebrew letters clearly in the dream, a tzadi (צ) was somewhat hidden behind a zayin (ז). The zayin "stepped forward" toward clearer closer identification. In the dream, I said,

"I claim the zayin for now."

In other words, while both letters were "mine", I indicated the one acting "for now" was the letter zayin.

There was another hidden letter as well.

Each letter was associated in some manner with a different and specific aspect of a dandelion.

The zayin, the clearer letter visually, was associated with a yellow dandelion set in a mid-horizontal line on a white door. (This mid-horizontal line corresponds to the path of the letter aleph (א) located "between" Gevurah and Chesed on the Tree of the Sefirot. Zayin is the letter corresponding to the path between Chochmah and Tiferet on the Tree of Life in the GRA array.)

The tzadi was itself somewhat hidden somewhat revealed in the background of directed observation, "behind the zayin", and was associated with a somewhat hidden, somewhat revealed red-like dandelion set opposite the yellow dandelion - out of the line of direct visual sight, but well within the higher mind's eye. In other words, though I didn't see the red-like dandelion with my dream eyes, I saw it through my higher mind beyond the eye - and as the tzadi was "behind" the zayin, the red-like dandelion was "opposite" the yellow one. In my mind, this kind of "seeing yet not seeing" is some "in between" form of quasi-reverse vision. (Tzadi is the path between Netzach and Malchut on the Tree of the Sefirot in the GRA array.)

Beyond both the zayin and the tzadi, and beyond both the yellow and red-like dandelion, I perceived the presence of both another "hidden" letter and another "hidden kind" of dandelion. I did not see directly or indirectly either the hidden letter or the hidden dandelion, but I perceived the Presence, associating the hidden dandelion with, not a color or color-like aspect, but with the essence of the dandelion - a dandelion essence. (This essence corresponds to all the "other" empty yet not empty space between the distinct letter paths on the Tree of the Sefirot which gives form to all the distinct letter paths. It is the pure Divine Feminine no-man's land of the vacated space, the chalal hapanui. This is complete reverse or negative vision.)

As I was waking from the dream, I clearly heard a word pronounced like "sern", spelled in English either as "sern" (like the enterotoxin-like microbial gene studied in medical research laboratories) or "cern" (like the high-energy particle physics laboratory). Both Sern and Cern pertain to "states in between" - the former (sern) to a place "in between" being a distinct toxin "code" or being distinctly non-toxin "code", and the latter (cern) to quantum non-localized fuzzy states existing "in between" distinct places in space. Like klipat nogah, both "sern" and "cern" point to a tachash state of being.

When I woke up from the dream, I remembered clearly that someone had been messing with my instrumental music CDs in my office at work. One of my CDs called Wishes has a dandelion on it - I noticed it had been moved slightly when I went in to work yesterday morning and returned it to its place.

Taking all this together, this dream in triplets pertains to 3 kinds of perception:

direct vision (physical/nefesh and psychic-dream/ruach, color-tzeva)
quasi-reverse vision (indirect/neshamah, color-like light-aur)
reverse-negative vision (hidden yet .../chayah-yechidah, radiance-aur gadol/darkness)

Interestingly, this dream follows the initial act shabbat evening of naming time according to the Witches' Year in parallel with the Hebrew date. The first Witches' calendar date I used for posting entries is today Shamash 16, where Shamash has correspondences to dandelion, the color yellow, the sefirah Tiferet, Hebrew Shemesh and the Hebrew letter meaning "door" (dalet ד).

The path of the Just is a great shining light emerging from within darkness.

The Generative Bone of Bereshit

Real Magic In Shades Of Grey

י'א בכסלו תשס"ח

Raising up sparks with Real Magic In Shades Of Grey by me.

Kochava D'Shavit

ז' בכסלו תשס"ח
Here is an artistic graphic of my bronze Jewitch star, my kochava d'shavit, which symbolically represents the two primary soul sparks of my Jewish neshamah - Dinah (the encircled hexagram of David) and King Solomon (the pentacle of Solomon) in Unity.

Secrets In My Soul

ז' בכסלו תשס"ח

In my previous post regarding the legacy of my grandmother Gladys Ruth Faulkner-Collins, daughter of Elizabeth Grunwald-Faulkner and George Samuel Faulkner, and granddaughter of Sue Turner-Grunwald and Will Grunwald, I noted that my grandmother has four daughters, each daughter corresponding to one of the Jewish matriarchs - Sarah, Rivkah, Leah and Rachel.

My mother, as the third daughter of my grandmother, corresponds to the matriarch Leah. I am my mother's only daughter, just as Dinah the daughter of Leah, is Yaakov's only recorded daughter. Thus, from this perspective, my particular soul has a significant root in the soul of Dinah (as well as Ruth and Leah roots).

My grandmother, Gladys Ruth, was born in Rosebud, IL. I, containing the soul of Dinah, the only recorded daughter of Yaakov and Leah, was born in Danville, IL.

From a second perspective, both Sue and Will Grunwald were observant Jews by family oral history. There is nothing in our family oral history to suggest that Sue was not born Jewish, and both reportedly lived Jewishly. Nevertheless, let's consider that Sue may have been a convert (as opposed to a "born" Jew), and correspond Sue Grunwald to Ruth, a central name given to my grandmother Gladys.

Ruth is the great grandmother of King David and great great grandmother of King Solomon. Sue is the great grandmother of my mother Cheryl and my great great grandmother. Thus, from this perspective, my particular soul has a significant root in the soul of King Solomon (as well as Ruth, Leah and Yaakov, and Dinah). Interestingly, Solomon's name in Hebrew is a feminine form - שלמה.

Taking all this together, the dynamic relationships in my family tree suggest that my particular Jewish soul contains the soul sparks of Ruth, Leah, Yaakov, Dinah, King David and King Solomon (where Mashiach ben David represents tikkun of the nachash). Of these 6 sparks, those of Dinah and King Solomon emerge as 2 significant sparks of my own soul's Jewish particularity.

The dabak is in the details.

Mesorah Of The River Mnemosyne

י'ט בחשון תשס"ח

My maternal grandmother, Gladys Collins-Faulkner, granddaughter of Sue Turner-Grunwald and Will Grunwald, daughter of Elizabeth Grunwald-Faulkner and George Samuel Faulkner, mother of Cheryl Collins-Taylor and grandmother to Liorah Lleucu HaMasovevet, passed over early this morning of Samhain, Ram Cheshvan 19, האלון full of years at the age of 92.

Mnemosyne was also the name for a river in Hades, counterpart to the river Lethe, according to a series of 4th century BC Greek funerary inscriptions in dactylic hexameter. Dead souls drank from Lethe so they would not remember their past lives when reincarnated. Initiates were encouraged to drink from the river Mnemosyne when they died, instead of Lethe. These inscriptions may have been connected with a private mystery religion, or with Orphic poetry. (Wiki on Mnemosyne, Titan Goddess of Memory and Inventor of Words, One of three or four Elder Muses and Mother of nine Younger Muses.)

As a Mother of Eternal Life and a Mother of Muses, in the pure family tradition and mesorah of natural witches, may my grandmother, as I did preincarnately (described here and here), drink from Achdut, the River of Eternal Memory, the River Mnemosyne, and remember. Remember!

We are One.

I love you Grandma. May our memory be a blessing and carry us through it, to it, the brightening and the brilliance.

A witch is born, and by a witch a witch is made.

ברוך דיין האמת