A Right Hippocampal Mystic Typology

כ״ד בטבת תשע"ב
Grael 27

In correlation with the information in this article [The Role of Religious and Mystic Experiences In Human Evolution: An Hypothesis. Todd Murphy, 2010] discussing the differences between right hippocampal and left amygdalar mystic types, where it is written,

A mystic whose experiences appear from an unusually responsive right hippocampus is expected to report experiences dominated by right hippocampal (RH) phenomena. The RH role in spatial reasoning and memory implicates it in experiences of 'infinity', the "infinite void", spaciousness, and the experience that the space occupied by the sense of self is limitless ("one with the universe"), or existing in 'one-pointedness' (phenomena suggestive of macropsia and micropsia). The RH role in non-verbal information implicates it in the experience of inner silence, or freedom from 'mind chatter'. Its cognitive functions implicate it in the experience of 'knowingness', and 'insight', in which understandings appear spontaneously. The right hippocampus' role in processing non-verbal information would give such mystics a propensity for experiences that are 'beyond words' or 'too subtle to be explained". It's role as the source for dream imagery suggests that its also involved in the experience of 'alternate realities', 'other dimensions', the 'astral plane', the 'dream time', as well as the fleeting images that appear in hypnogogia, and even artistic visual inspirations. Its role in creating and retrieving memories suggests it may be crucial in accessing inner images, including symbolic, spiritual, and artistic images. Its production of theta activity suggests it's crucial in trance and meditation.

makes it clear to me that my mystical experiences (example) tend to be of this type, suggesting that I am a mystic of the right hippocampal (RH) type (as opposed to of the left amygdalar mystic type). The connection of RH mystical experiences to the phenomenon of memory is also interesting to me given my ever continuous memory of preincarnate existence. In light of the additional evidence given by this research group that human beings have out of physical body experiences of consciousness which come together to the self experientially from the perspective of an energetic or subtle body (as explained in related videos here, here and here), it seems reasonable to suggest that the physical brain may also have a non-physical correlate through which an individual may 'come together' as a self-aware entity.

(Described in the linked videos) I often "see" the void and the moving neurological electromagnetic field called "the binding factor" (which is responsible for bringing together and maintaining the "sense" of self) when I am resting - I can "see" this moving field when I close my eyes. At rest with my eyes closed, seeing these phenomena (the void and the moving field) are almost even my "default" settings of perception. In addition, I also occasionally experience partial seizure-like electrical activity at various locations in my body which no one but I am aware of - these too most often occur when I am resting.

I'd like one of those Shiva neural stimulation helmets!

Trapped By Enchantment

כ״ז בסיון תשע"א
Alban Heruin 29

As a Jewitch, I am often asked what is the critical difference between magic and mysticism? and how can I resolve practicing witchcraft against the Torah's seeming prohibition on witchcraft with the claim that I am a Torah observant Jew?

There is a chapter in a book by Adin Steinsaltz (The Strife of the Spirit) which discusses the traditional rabbinic view of magic and mysticism, between that prohibited by Torah and that allowed by Torah. In this chapter, Rabbi Steinsaltz explains that the critical difference between Torah-prohibited magic and Torah-allowed magic all comes down to who does it and from what level the power comes. Engaging in magical pursuits, from a rabbinic perspective, is dangerous until one reaches a certain "madreiga" or spiritual level of developmental maturity. Prior to attaining that level, the rabbis believe that a person can become fascinated with power (that is, trapped by enchantment) in such a way that a person's continued spiritual development is impeded. The rabbis recognize that oftentimes many of the powers associated with witchcraft naturally unfold as one evolves spiritually, but also recognize that powers may also unfold prematurely leading to a detrimental enchantment with power. In other words, a person is liable to become trapped by an enchantment with the very real power released through magical-mystical practices such that he or she becomes confused and deadlocked spiritually. For this reason, rabbinic tradition discourages magical/mystical pursuits, and in my opinion, has misled laypeople as to what the Torah actually teaches about magic and mysticism. Interestingly, the situation in traditional rabbinic Judaism today suggests that many rabbis are indeed confused spiritually and trapped by an enchantment with power.

Enchantment of a whole group of people is not unheard of in the occult mysteries. In Celtic magical-mystical tradition, the story of a whole city's enchantment is told in the first branch of the Mabinogion in the tale known as The Enchantment of Dyfed. In consequence to enchantment, except for four individuals, the lives of all of the city's inhabitants became suspended. In other words, they became spiritually deadlocked not too unlike rabbinic Judaism today.

We cannot always judge what is permitted and what is prohibited by the labels we put on practices. Sometimes we can only make a proper judgement as to what is prohibited and what is allowed by its effect upon us.

I note as an interesting side observation - as with the Judaic tale of the Exodus, the number four figures prominently in the Celtic tale of Dyfed as well.

Archetypes Of Feminine Leadership

י"ט בכסלו תש"ע
Shamash 21

Early this morning, I dreamt many dreams. One of the dreams was the waking vision of a faerie door. Simply, it opened before me in wordless recognition of my presence as we came together face to face. We came together as if the two of us were one - the faerie door and I - the faerie door is integrally part of me, it is my own. It opened before me. I briefly woke up.

According to Celtic Faerie traditional witchcraft, portals between worlds were built long ago by the Faerie Queen. I then, am the Faerie Queen. What then is She, this Faerie Queen? She is an archetype of transcendental Divine Feminine power.

Lieutenant Colonel Prisco R. Hernández (excerpts from Jung’s Archetypes as Sources for Female Leadership) writes:

Despite the presence of matriarchal systems, in most cultures, social and political power has been disproportionately exercised by males. Western culture, which evolved within a predominantly Christian context, has its religious sources in the Jewish-Semitic Middle East and the Greco-Roman political and philosophical traditions, both of which are distinctly patriarchal. This means that in the political, religious, and economic spheres the majority of leaders have been male. In those cases where women have been called upon to exercise leadership roles, they were expected to master “trans-gendered” roles and exercise male-like leadership. For example Queen Isabella of Castile was admiringly described by her contemporaries as a mujer de ánimo varonil (a woman of manly temper).

Nonetheless, Western civilization has not been entirely dismissive of the female psychic energies. The four female archetypes of the Faerie, the Wise One, the Lover, and the Queen are found in most cultures and provide insights into female patterns of leadership. As is the case with her male counterpart, the King, the Queen is the most complex and mature of the female archetypes. This is because the image of a Queen who serves as a center for the mature ordering of things includes and transcends the other archetypes of the Feminine. Indeed the most powerful embodiment of this archetype is the Great Goddess—The Great Mother. This cosmic image is the equal to that of an all powerful God, the source of complete cosmic power, but at the same time is more accessible, less menacing. Images that may point to such a Great Mother, a supernatural Queen, are among some of the earliest human depictions of a higher power.

On a human scale, a powerful woman who is entirely confident in herself and is capable of serving as role model would necessarily reflect on a more modest scale the attributes of the Queen. However, all the essential attributes of the archetype of the Queen are present in a real woman who plays that role, regardless of the scope her real responsibilities—be she queen of a nation, a clan, or her own family.

Since the archetype of the Queen is the richest, most mature form of the Feminine, it cannot arrive at the pinnacle of life-enhancing majesty without first participating in the attributes of other important feminine archetypes. Just as the King is not born as a King, but must start life as a Prince, the Queen begins life as a Princess. The Princess is called to evolve to the fullness of her potential and must earn her Queenship through a path that necessarily involves trials and suffering as the way to experience and maturity.

Interestingly, there is a triform (Maid-Mother-Crone) Goddess path to Queenship.

If the Prince must normally develop through the path of the Warrior, the Princess develops through that of the Faerie. This is the one archetype that is distinctly different for male and female development. Just as the Warrior is the most natural complement to the King and embodies a set of virtues that are necessary to Kingship, the Faerie is the most natural first step on the road to Queenship. The explosive centrifugal energy of the male Warrior archetype is balanced in the cosmic order of things by the attractive, centrifugal energy of the female Faerie archetype. The Faerie is not just a Princess, she is the symbol of all that is fair, all that is beautiful, all that transcends material existence. These concepts are not merely ornamental niceties but are at the very center of Being.

Just as the Warrior appears most fully when he gives himself over to death in an act of self-denial, the Faerie appears most fully when she denies herself all intercourse with men. This is the source of her power. She places herself outside any man’s power; thus, she has the power to inspire, to attract. Consider the real-life women who have embodied the Faerie—Joan of Arc, known as La Pucelle (The Maid), Elizabeth I “The Faerie Queen,” the Legendary St. Barbara— who is invoked as the Patroness of artillerymen in many armies throughout the world—St. Cecilia—the Christian embodiment of Musica; all eschewed conventional attachment to men.

Joan of Arc, who like a Valkyrie takes up the arms and armor of a Warrior, is also a Faerie—inspiring many warriors to heroic feats and an entire country to seek freedom. Her words demonstrate the power for active leadership generated by the Faerie archetype: “Go bravely; all will be well. Have no fear. We shall find none who can harm us; indeed, we shall meet with no resistance. I have no fear for lack of men. There will be many to follow me.”

Another path to Queenship leads through the archetype of the Wise One. If the Faerie inhabits ethereal regions where all appears as bright and luminous, the Wise One inhabits the shadows. She is at home near the earth, even inside the earth, inside the dark, moist, primordial womb, the source of all fertility. The Wise One is no longer young. She is mature, rooted. She is likely to be old and she is a Mother, or more likely, a Grand-Mother. In contrast to the Faerie, she has once been a companion to the male, she may have even loved a male, but she has now transcended all that and has reached a state of superior wisdom. In contrast also to her male counterpart—the Magician—her subtle mind seeks not to penetrate beneath the surface of things and probe the mysteries of nature, rather, she looks inward into the mysteries of Being.

It is natural for the Wise One to seek separation from her sisters who toil in the world. Her quest for special knowledge requires long hours of solitude for study and reflection. Most often, the Wise One becomes a seer, an advisor. But in some cases, the Wise One may [also] rise to be a Queen. She may then combine the attributes of the Queen and the Wise One, becoming the Wise-Queen. The Queen of Sheba, the counterpart to Solomon—the Magician King—illustrates this type of leadership. According to the Biblical narrative the Queen of Sheba came to Solomon as an equal, for she “…traveled to Jerusalem to test him with difficult questions.” In the Story of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba the Wise-Queen meets the Magician-King and she is satisfied. Notice how the Queen of Sheba—the Wise One—does not fall in love even with Solomon—the Magician-King. She is beyond easy infatuation; she is whole within herself, secure in her arcane wisdom.

The fourth archetype of the mature feminine is the Lover. Even more that in the case of its male twin, the female Lover archetype poses a problem when taken in the context of leadership. The Lover embodies the unrestrained embrace of the life-force. It is a life-affirming and creative archetype but one that eschews order, sacrifice, and rational knowledge. It is not easily reconciled with the orderly world of the Queen and its concept of noblesse oblige or inborn sense of duty, and is the polar opposite of the virginal Faerie. It is suspicious of the knowledge of the Wise One, because she has transcended this phase. And it also is dependent on the other—the Lover seeks to empty herself out and merge or become the Beloved. Could we then conclude that there is no place for the Lover in the spiritual makeup of the female leader? Given the importance of all archetypes to a mature and balanced human existence it would be wise to reconsider the paradoxical relationship of the Lover to the other archetypes. Can there be a Lover-Queen?

The powerful Ishtar/Astarte/Aphrodite/Venus mythological complex is a strong archetypical current that runs deep from the appropriately named Fertile Crescent through the foundations of Near Eastern and Western Civilizations. India has equally powerful images of female generative power in Shakti, and her three avatars or embodiments of Lakshmi, Sarasvati, Parvati. The Chinese Ying-Yang symbol represents in graphic form the classic Jungian mysterium conjuinctionem. Thus, the Lover intrudes powerfully into humanity’s collective consciousness. If a leader is enthusiastic, connects with her followers and is capable of inspiring them to accomplish the difficult deeds, she is partaking of the energy made available by the Lover archetype.

Thus, as is the case with the male Lover, the female Lover gains enormous powers of transcendence but she, and he, are subjected to “the other” and therefore lack the freedom of the other archetypes. This is the power and limitation of the hierosgamos—the cosmic marriage of opposites. It is equally apparent that the other virtues resident in the Faerie and the Wise One need to rein-in the Lover’s “oceanic” exuberance and desire to transcend all limits in order to allow her energy its life-giving role without creating chaos in the realm. But, in a different sense, if the Lover recognizes the One worthy of her love and subjects herself completely to Him, the results can be amazing. It appears that the Lover is as essential to good Queenship as it is to mature Kingship.

Of these [four archetypes of transcendental feminine leadership], the Queen is the leader par excellence. But the Queen must encompass other qualities as well. The road to Queenship takes an aspiring leader through the path of the Faerie and/or the Wise One. These two in turn remain puerile or sterile without the life-affirming attributes of the Lover. Thus, if we reflect on the archetypes of the mature feminine they offer aspiring women leaders models that may serve as sources of strength to help them protect, guide, and inspire their followers.

Where do I find evidence of all four of these archetypes in this weekend's writings and my own experience?

The Faerie - First, immediately apparent is the faerie door (legendarily made by the Faerie Queen long ago) of this morning's waking dream vision. Second, in my own current life, I am in a time of faerie. To explain, the time of faerie is a time of separation from physical connection to any man. Having remained celibate as I wait for the arrival of my true bashert, I have been in a time of faerie by consciously determined choice and vow for two decades. This time of faerie of Celtic tradition parallels the time of niddah of Jewish tradition. It is a time for female solitude, middot improvement and development of devekut with the Divine. Third, in my dream, The Comet - one man was inspired to follow this Faerie during her time of faerie into Kingship and all the way to mountaintop summit - and beheld the comet. The comet kabbalistically symbolizes the soul-root of messianic consciousness. Consequently, the time of faerie (in Celtic tradition), and the parallel time of niddah (in Jewish tradition), are times of pure feminine development removed from masculine connection. Importantly, the times of pure feminine development are critically necessary for linkage to the soul-root of messianic consciousness and for both powers of Queenship and Kingship to actualize.

The Queen - Again, the faerie door, built by the Faerie Queen in Celtic legend, of this morning's waking dream vision recognized me. I am its maker. In yesterday's dream The Comet, I stood "the powerful woman entirely confident in myself to reach the mountaintop summit to find the the comet-palace, despite that 'they' might try to kill me." I became a Queen and another became a King whom the collective of our people followed. Not only did I become a Queen, but I became a Queen entirely confident enough in her own power to enable another's attainment of power beyond my own. I the Queen remained on the mountaintop, while he the King journeyed to Palace of the Comet to prepare and bring it home. We both couldn't go, one of us had to remain behind as a link to the Earth. It could have easily been the other way around.

The Wise One - Like the Wise-Queen of Sheba didn't fall in love with Solomon, neither did I fall in love with the one following me up the mountain to its summit. I relentlessly moved on in solitude despite his fears that I was crazy, that I was a fool, that they would kill me (us). I continued on unperturbed by any concern for his concerns. My singleminded ambition was to make it. I did not stop to comfort him, to soothe him, to assure him, to take note of his struggle - nothing. I don't even know who he is, let alone love him.

The Lover - I obtained and harnassed the transcendent power of the Lover archetype through the power of self-limitation (tzimtzum - creating a womb for new reality). I limited and subjected myself to the Other by remaining on the mountaintop while the King flew to the comet-palace. Importantly, the King's ability to fly to the comet-palace came into being precisely on account of the Queen's act of self-limitation through the Lover archetype, becoming a Lover Queen - as I am also a Faerie Queen and a Wise Queen.

Taking all this together, in witchcraft and Goddess spirituality, the Faerie corresponds to the Maid/Virginal aspect, the Wise One to the Mother/Maga aspect, and the Lover to the Crone/Transcendent Feminine aspect. The Queen herself corresponds to Goddess (both Immanent and Transcendent) in Wholeness, and is the archetypal essence of the Divine Feminine.

Time Travel Without The Mother's Hood

ט'ו בתשרי תש"ע
Blodlessing 16

Commenting on my dream The Tzohar Book, my friend Lisha brought to my attention that the Hebrew word tzohar (צוהר) can mean "a small window, a skylight, or an opening, aperture, or opportunity." Given my response that the baby's swelling, in my dream, was secondary to the birth process itself (as opposed to the result of an inherent abnormality of the baby herself), she further suggested that the "aperture" or "opportunity" was also related to the birth process.

This association makes perfect sense to me, particularly within the proximal context of the Heikhalot dream and the runic divination, By Force Of Destiny.

It may be that the first Heikhalot dream "flashback scene" with the pregnant woman was "flashing back" to my own birth. Then, this follow-up dream with the baby was expanding, to elucidate further, upon the forces at work around my own birth.

As I've written in many blogs over the years, I was born actively remembering my preincarnate existence and perinatal birth experience - and I have never forgotten imy existence or experience. Perhaps being "born without the mother's hood" (as telepathically brought forth in the baby dream) pertains to "not forgetting" those experiences. I was born not forgetting. I was born remembering. The memory of actually physically being born is a psychospiritually traumatic memory that has left a lasting impression on my consciousness to this day even. The "mother's hood" would therefore be the source of forgetting. The traumatic memory of physical birth is the source of the baby's swelling.

It becomes clear then, from the Heikhalot dream in proximal combination with the Tzohar dream, that I participated to bring forth into my carnate life the circumstances necessary for healing myself even before I was born.

The Flaw Of Pure Selflessness

י"ז חשון תשס"ת
Phasma Priscus 19

In reply to my commentary on Vayera (posted in full at LiveJournal and on Garden Of The Dark Moon Jubilee), my friend Vashtivah commented:

I realize there is a concept of going in and seeking Divine Guidance or Self that is above selfishness, but I don't think it winds up being selflessness.

I think Vashtivah is right - pure selflessness is just as spiritually destructive as pure selfishness. Perhaps the failure to stop the development of Avraham's negative chazakah at the onset was with the construct of the initial choice presented to him itself (see Deeds That Ought Not Be Done). Pure selflessness lacked the power to alter Avraham's action because selflessness, like selfishness, is ultimately flawed. This kernel of truth supports the understanding as posited in my commentary on Vayera. The point with the power to alter Avraham's action was the point oriented toward integration.

Precognitive Incident

י"ג חשון תשס"ת
Phasma Priscus 15

A peculiar thing happened today which suggests (but does not necessarily prove) an incident of precognitive perception. It is a possibility that the merchant in question read my blog entry on the dream and then decided to issue me the refund as described below (although this possibility doesn't necessarily disprove an incident of precognitive perception either).

On shabbat (a week ago), I dreamt that my purse was in danger of being stolen, yet wasn't stolen in the end.

Following this most recent shabbat, today I came upon a pleasant surprize - an addition to my checking account of $33.70 from a merchant with whom I have done business in the past year. I had had to wait an extended period of time for an expensive handcrafted item I had purchased from them months ago and they must have decided to refund to me some of the cost.

When I first discovered the odd transacted amount on Sunday when auditing my checkbook online, I had not noticed that the amount had been added to my account. When I saw an amount I hadn't charged or deposited, I immediately thought my account had been wrongly charged. Discombobulated by the unexpected, I couldn't even see the addition to my balance! I was so oblivious to it. But this morning, when I decided to check again before heading off to the bank to order a new debit/credit card and destroy the one I have, I saw that the amount had been credited and not subtracted. I could see it this morning. My checking account had not been robbed after all. On the contrary, it had been enriched by $33.70.

Anyway, a real life event this weekend has correlation with the dream I had the weekend a week ago and putatively suggests that I experienced an incident of precognitive dreaming.

In the dream, my purse was feared stolen, but then it was found not to be stolen after all. In real life, my money was feared stolen, but then it was found not to be stolen after all.

Fearless

ו' אלול התשס"ח
Belz 8

If you watched the video linked in my previous entry, one idea David Icke brought out in it is the idea that the things we fear are attracted into our lives by virtue of our fear of them. Likewise, Reb Newman of Mystical Paths expresses the same idea in his post today (now Sunday in Israel), writing, "there is anecdotal evidence and books written about the phenomenon of attracting things we are afraid of into our lives."

Given that I have come upon one idea from two seemingly very different and opposite sources - one a New Age spiritual teacher and the other an Ultra-Orthodox religious teacher - I ask myself what major fears I have had during my life:

1. That I would end up stuck working in a nursing home. I greatly feared this in nursing school, and this fear indeed materialized in my life. I've worked on and off in nursing homes for as long as I've been a nurse, even working in one part time for extra money while employed full time as a research biochemist for a pharmaceutical company. Interestingly, I no longer fear working in a nursing home and actually enjoy my current job working with data - in a nursing home. In fact, I recently declined a research position and accepted the job I currently hold, in a nursing home.

2. That I would live my life without the true love of a husband. I like being alone at this point in my life. More importantly perhaps, my soul would not have developed as it has had it been tied to someone else. Being alone has provided the freedom to grow to experientially realize the true potential of my own uniqueness.

3. That I would be homeless. I've been homeless now for over a decade. Needless to say, I no longer fear it.

4. That I would be a failure or be seen as a failure. No problem here. Been there, done that many times over. I am a success at being a failure!

5. That I fit nowhere, in no community. I am a shamanic Jewitch in a coven of one. Sigh. For my friends online, who accept me as I am, I give loving thanks.

6. That I have not been a good mother. The chaos of my life has not only affected me, it has been paid for by my children and family as well. I have feared failing them more than I have feared failing the world. Today, I look at my children, my grandchildren, and my family and I see that in being a bad mother (as the world may judge me), that I have been a good mother and have taught my children the most important lesson of life - to dare to be true to themselves. This is a spiritual legacy I bequeath to my descendents.

So, these have been the big fears of my life, none of which I fear any longer. I suppose this realization fits with the "fearless" dream I had last shabbat ... The Magic Chair Of Machar Chodesh.

Personality & Multiple Intelligences Profiles

ב' אב התשס"ח
Lughnasadh 3



INTJ Population
Total: 1.5%
Male: 2.5%
Female: 0.5%

WWII Bomb & The Mordechai-Haman Bifurcation

ד' סיון התשס"ח
Alban Heruin 5

Another news link to my Tzohar dream last night.

WWII Bomb Detonated In London
Saturday. June 7, 2008

LONDON, England (CNN) -- A neighborhood in east London was getting back to normal Saturday after British Army engineers detonated a large World War II bomb unearthed this week on a building site, officials said.

An Army bomb disposal team carried out a controlled explosion on the 2,200-pound German warhead at 5:55 p.m. (12:55 p.m. ET) Friday, London's Metropolitan Police said. Video of the blast showed brown dirt, debris and black smoke shooting into the air when the bomb went off.

There were no reports of any injuries or damage to surrounding property after the blast, the police and Ministry of Defense said.

The bomb was "enormous," said Simon Saunders, a spokesman for the British Army's London district.

At one point during the week the bomb started ticking, which suggested a timing device, Saunders said. Disposal experts put strong magnets next to the bomb to shut down the clockwork and the ticking stopped, he said.

It's not uncommon for World War II-era bombs to be unearthed in Europe. In London, which suffered the aerial bombardment of the Blitz, bombs are uncovered two or three times a year, Saunders said.

The London Blitz lasted from September 1940 until May 1941. German bombers attacked the city every day or night for the first two months, but the worst night was the last -- May 10, 1941, when 3,000 people were killed in London, according to the Museum of London.

Read the entire news article at link above.

Most of my European ancestry is of British-Welsh-Jewish origin, with some Celtic-Irish and Germanic ancestry as well. The "bomb" of my dream therefore, seems to represent that single original aspect of the psyche which corresponds to a Mordechai-Haman like bifurcation. In my dream, the single unified Mordechai-Haman aspect corresponds to the single line on a woman that is dangerous for a man to 'read directly'. Setting off the bomb (like in my dream) corresponds to setting into motion supernal actions which will culiminate in one of two potential realities finding entrance into manifestation. In other words, the bomb will cause to manifest and raise up life (Mordechai) or to bring out hidden fascist tendencies which lead to death (Haman). This is why it is dangerous for a man to read the line of a woman directly - it will bring out this bifurcation within a man, to raise up his life or to bring about his death.

Dilug At Dinner

ד' בניסן תשס"ח
Annwyn 5

Yesterday, as I was eating dinner, for a few simple startling moments in time, a strange alteration of consciousness silently occurred. No one noticed, but I definitely felt it. For those few moments between bites of food, even as others were conversing, the entire psycho-physical world "jumped" to a higher state of being, feeling less dense, as if gravity had decreased it's pull on materiality, and "brighter", as if the fabric of all spacetime was crisper, clearer and without obstruction. Even my physical body felt as if it had the strength and lightness of a small child, full of easy vigor.

My consciousness settled back after the initial "grand" jump into a higher energy level than before the jump had happened - sort of like a few steps forward and one step back, with a net gain. This experience of consciousness felt to me like an electron must feel when it jumps from from one quantum energy level to another - that is how it felt - quantum in nature.

I've stepped up into different Universe with that jump. Everything has changed. It's a new ballgame.

Holy Holy Holy Host

ח' באדר ב' תשס"ח
Raven 9

Tzav, Pakod, Meumah - Holy, Holy, Holy

In Unblemished Mitzvah I brought down the idea that the vulnerability of meumah to blemish (mum) is neutralized by the presence of tzav (command of mobilization), and that materiality neutralized of potential blemish is actualized through the endless action pakod. Remembering.

Interestingly, as mentioned in the earlier entry, meumah and tzav each have a gematria of 92. The digit sum of 92 is 11. Eleven is the number of Temple incense spices corresponding to the rectification of Tohu (the state from which the vessels may shatter and become seemingly disconnected from Wholeness), the elevation of Tohu back into the realm of Holiness, and the "distillation and transformation of all corporeality and physicality into supernal luminescence."

Torah instructs us not to duplicate the Temple incense compound for personal use, lest s/he be "cut off" (shattered and seemingly disconnected). In other words, the duplication of meumah implies that bringing down the power of meumah without tzav (bringing down something from something), may shatter the personality, while the power of meumah tempered with tzav (bringing down something and nothing), does not shatter the personality. The personality remains whole in the case where the 92-compound meumah is not itself duplicated, but tempered through a different 92-compound, namely tzav.

Tzav tempers meumah by adding it's own digit sum of 11 to the 11 of meumah, bringing down the whole essence of the 22 Creation Letters of the aleph-beit.

Thus, meumah is not duplicated for personal use, it is completed in a wholistic bodily realization (a Host) of Intelligent Creative Consciousness.

Importantly, with respect to the upcoming observance of Purim, the word-set tzav-pakod-meumah corresponds to the "holy, holy, holy" descent of my soul through all contractions of the created world, while yet still remaining bound to the Divine Essence.

Manifest Harmony Of Opposites

א' באדר ב' תשס"ח
Raven 2
Rosh Chodesh Adar II

T-Square from Mid: 12Tau27 to Ven: 10Aqu16 and Plu: 13Leo42

The opposites on the T-Square in my natal chart are:

Venus (Aqu) Opp [Leo] Pluto - app 3:26' - power: 11.46

In other words, the energy of Venus in Aquarius is a helpmate to the energy of Retrograde Pluto/Geut in Leo.

On Venus in Aquarius and 7th House: This person's creativity, tendencies for affection and calmness, and relationship needs is progressive, erratic, revolutionary, idealistic, humanitarian, inventive, and desires individuality.

On Retrograde Pluto in Leo and 1st House: This person's destiny, and capacity to transform the self and the outer world is proud, gregarious, dramatic, dignified, and desires self expression. Most often this manifests in an independent, backward, introverted manner, and in the area of life dealing with establishment of personal identity.

The "opposing" energies of Venus in Aquarius and Retrograde Pluto/Geut in Leo are clearly in manifest harmony in my life as demonstrated throughout my creatively progressive, revolutionary, transformative self expressions - Walking On Fire, Craftwork Of A Jewitch and my poetry in motion.

There is no discord at all between the Jewish kabbalist and the Celtic witch in that which I am. Both exist in perfect and complete harmony, as two entwining streams of a united consciousness.

Mountains Tremble With Moon Square Mars

כ'ז באדר א' תשס"ח
Keolwulf 28

In my natal chart, there is this little bit:

Moon (Vir) Squ [Gem] Mars - orb: +1:47' - power: 10.88

In astrospeak, the above informational aspect is called Moon square Mars.

On a general "square" astrological aspect:

A square is present in a chart when two planets are 90 degrees from each other. The acceptable orb for a square is eight degrees. Another of the major Aspects, squares are generally considered to possess a hard energy.

The essence of a square is friction. Things happen, and they're no small matter. The energy surrounding a square is forceful, intense and power-laden. It's effect on the individual will be to spur them to action, to cause decisions to be made. The risk to the individual influenced by a square is to ignore this Aspect's unmistakable energy. This Aspect will not be managed effectively until its force field and message are addressed. To illustrate the point, an individual with their Sun square Mercury might be expected to have difficulty when speaking. The lesson of this square will be to do the work necessary in order to speak more effectively.

Specifically on Moon square Mars:

This is one of the most difficult and emotionally explosive of all comparative aspects.

No kidding. A feast absolutely senseless.

Yet, when the internal friction created by Moon square Mars is channeled properly (Walking On Fire, Poetry In Motion), the energy of Moon square Mars is boundless and can move mountains.

True Will & The Enduring Seed Of Stillness

כ" בטבת תשס"ח
Grael 21

Knowest thy will truly ...

R. J. Stewart (who is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors), in Living Magical Arts, writes:

The effect of [religious - my addition] magic is limited according to your own belief and understanding of reality; so rigid is this law that it may be stood upon its head by the experienced magician to prove that understanding of reality is only limited according to the effect of magic. What must be emphasized in this context is that we are dealing with the genuine or true beliefs of an individual or group; what we assume we believe, what we think is our understanding of reality, and what we actually do believe, are often radically different or even contradictory to one another. One of the effects of magical training is to fuse these two levels of belief and understanding into one balanced conceptual model ... a model that is open ended and without specific limits. During the early stages of magical development and training, in which the individual is often emerging from a period of skepticism or anti-religion, this conflict is very apparent. The law of belief in magic is not merely a matter of auto-suggestion, credulity, or self-reinforced delusion; it runs far deeper than such superficial manifestations. In old fashioned terminology it is one of the great secrets of the universe, taught as 'be what thou wilt, if thou knowest thy will truly'. Our history is full of sciences, achievements, even empires, built upon systems, practices and beliefs now known to be false, yet such systems worked very well for those who believed in them. This was not due to delusion on the part of the believers, but because the power of belief is more potent and active than the object or system believed in. Expressions or forms change ceaselessly, but consciousness is eternal, and has an enduring seed of stillness at its core.

Apopsi Anti-Psi Deflective Filtering

כ"ב בכסלו תשס"ח
Shamash 24

I've found a phrase which describes the phenomenon where news items seem to reflect in a similar manner dreams I've had immediately preceding the "news event" - the dream Peace Talks and the murder of Sean Taylor, for example. That phrase is apopsi anti-psi deflective filtering.

Phaedra Bonewits in Real Energy writes regarding anti-psi talents and the specific anti-psi talents of filtering and deflection:

Anti-psi is a categorical term for psi talents that operate primarily by affecting other psi talents. Several of these anti-psi talents seem to involve the generation of certain psi fields [1] to alter the content, directon, or power levels of other psychic energy fields. Catapsi is the generation of a psychic field of "static" in order to disrupt the data of other psychic energy fields. Similarly, splodging is a kind of psychic yelling meant to drown out competing data. Apopsi is the generation of a field into which other psi fields cannot enter, possibly accomplished by changing these other fields into other forms of energy or apporting them elsewhere. Deflection alters the directions (force vectors) of incoming psychic energies and sends them elsewhere; if they are reversed 180 degrees, the talent can be called returning or reddopsi. Negapsi, or inverting, is the generation of a psi field in which all or most of the information content (data) of an incoming psychic field is reversed, thus turning creative energies or blessings into destructive energies or curses, for example. Filtering is the ability to use apopsi or deflection selectively, thus allowing only certain portions [2] of an incoming psi field to come through. The talent for boosting energy fields is called amplication [3], and dampening for lowering them (also called amping or damping).

Isaac Bonewits writes in Real Magic about the usefulness of anti-psi talents:

The various anti-psi talents can be very useful if you have them under control, for both attack and defense purposes. Anyone who has ever been psychically attacked will know what a miserable condition it can be [4]. There are indeed such things as psychic attacks, though conditions of real disease or hypochondria and paranoia are often responsible for illusions of psychic persecution. Attacks usually take the form of a general feeling of unease, nausea, pain in the pit of the belly, and a definite lack of self confidence. You literally want to crawl into a hole and die. In nine cases out of ten, the attacker will be in your immediate vicinity, and s/he may not be aware that s/he is attacking. How can you defend yourself? If you can master types of anti-psi, you can use (these) as well (for defense).

Now I have a name for what is happening. I also have begun to specifically identify some of my naturally developing "psychic" talents for influencing energy fields.

Footnotes:

[1] Perhaps it is some sort of psi field that has been affecting the function of my electromagnetic windchimes as described here.

[2] For example, selectively allowing a dream vision of an approaching malevolent psi field that has been directed at me, while simultaneously selectively not allowing physical manifestation of its malevolent energy into my life.

[3] See amplification of divine shabbat consciousness.

[4] Yes sir, I can indeed vouch that this is true.

Death Passed Over

כ'ו בחשון תשס"ח

After my grandmother's passing this past Halloween morning October 31, the date Samhain is typically observed, the festival of death and renewal (of death only in the eyes of some, whereas others consider Samhain to be a festival of scholars) continued to seek out souls to remove from the physical world. While my grandmother's passing was not so unexpected at 92 years of age with failing health (it was an obvious blessing toward renewal of life for my grandmother even as it was a loss for my family), a woman's husband at work died unexpectedly the very next day, Thursday evening November 1 (may she be comforted by the kindness extended to her by our coworkers). Both she and her husband work(ed) at the facility where I work.

I went back to work on Monday, but after additional work was piled onto me, along with work associated with the end of the month close (which was completed Monday morning before it was due Wednesday), with the recent passing of my grandmother, my body developed an allergic cold/flu yesterday, Tuesday morning at work. I sneezed continuously the entire day, despite a second dose of newfangled Actifed, becoming lightheaded, feverish and physically weak. So, Tuesday afternoon, I went home early, loaded up on Robitussin nighttime multisymptom cold medicine and went to bed, where I dreamt.

I dreamt of dark lethal storm clouds passing over my locations, from east to west they were moving even as they filled the sky. At one point there was a small break in the cloud cover, but it was only for a short time, while we took care of business.

I wanted to wait out the storm on the main floor of my house (which was a house trailer at times) - for some reason I wasn't worried that it couldn't weather the storm. Nevertheless, the man with us (somehow a relative, but I'm not sure who exactly this was) convinced me that it was safer to wait underground in the basement while the dark lethal storm clouds passed over. So, we all went down and waited in the basement as the dark lethal storm clouds passed over.

I woke up - to the news of a lethal school shooting in Finland.

From CNN: YouTube Linked To Deadly School Shootings

HELSINKI, Finland (CNN) -- A video posted earlier Wednesday, by "Sturmgeist89", was titled "Jokela High School Massacre - 11/7/2007." "Sturmgeist89" identified himself as Auvinen, and said he chose the name "Sturmgeist" because it means "storm spirit" in German.

At least eight people were killed when an 18-year-old gunman opened fire at a school in Finland Wednesday, according to Finnish police. The shooting appeared to have been planned out in graphic videos posted on Internet file-sharing site YouTube.

At a press conference this afternoon, police confirmed the dead numbered two girls, five boys and the school's headmistress at Jokela High in Tuusula, a quiet town around 50 kilometers (30 miles) north of Helsinki.

The shooter, who police named as Pekka Eric Auvinen, is in a critical condition at Toolo Hospital, Dr. Eeero Hirvensalo told CNN.

Auvinen published a manifesto online demanding war on the "weak-minded masses" and pledged to die for his cause.

YouTube appeared to have removed 89 videos linked to his account, many of them featuring Nazi imagery, shortly after the incident.

Finnish media reported someone posted a message two weeks ago on the Web site, warning of a bloodbath at the school.

The site indicated that the youth appeared to be fascinated with killing. Throughout all of this, the single word "DIE" constantly flashed across the screen. Other video clips included Nazi-war-criminal footage.

In the rambling text posted on the site, Auvinen said that he is "a cynical existentialist, anti-human humanist, anti-social social-Darwinist, realistic idealist and god-like atheist.

"I am prepared to fight and die for my cause," he wrote. "I, as a natural selector, will eliminate all who I see unfit, disgraces of human race and failures of natural selection."

Read the entire news article at link above.

Thank Goddess! for the cold I developed through this 11/7/2007 day, astronomical Samhain.

Matron Who Brings Peace

י"א באלול תשס"ז

Although most of my maternal Celtic-European ancestry is English-British-Welsh (as well as Jewish), I also have some Celtic-Irish and Celtic-Germanic ancestries (as well as Native American) on my father's side. Consequently, as a witch with some Germanic heritage woven into the tapestry of who I am, it is quite legitimate for me to claim the Ertha archetype as one of my own, and I do hereby claim it.

Ertha is the "matron of witches and peace envoys". She also governs "fertility, the hearth, the home, domestic life, and the Wild Hunt." She is the Bringer of Peace and is "hostile to iron". Given Ertha's role as Peace-Bringer, it is not surprising that She is considered hostile to iron, a metal typically used to make war and shorten life. Iron's typical use as a metal of war-making is one reason why a witch doesn't typically put anything made of iron (other than her athame which never cuts anything physical or shortens life) on her altar. Ertha, the matron of witches and peace, is not "hostile" toward the iron of a witch's athame nor toward any other iron which prolongs life and brings peace.

Thus, not only is Ertha the matron of witches and peace, she is also the litmus test by which (internal and external) kavanah is judged as peaceful or warful. No warful intent gets past Ertha and into Sacred Spacetime. Only warful intent is ever cut and transformed by the iron of a witch's athame.

Way To A Woman's Heart

ה' באלול תשס"ז

My altar besom. Handcrafted from broom corn grown dedicated to the purpose of constructing besoms. Pine wood handle.

From History Of Early American Brooms:

"The sweeping quality of brooms changed in 1797 when Levi Dickenson, a farmer in Hadley, Massachusetts, made a broom for his wife, using the tassels of a variety of sorghum (Sorghum vulgere), a grain he was growing for the seeds. She thought Levi's broom was exceptionally good and told friends and neighbors about it."

How sweet. Levi made a witchy broom for his wife and changed the entire broom-making industry. She really liked his broom, apparently. LOL.

Outer And Inner Magic

ה' באלול תשס"ז

DovBear writes about "Raccoon Club Judaism" and discusses how many strictly observant men participate in religious ritual similar in social design to the way many men participate in fraternal organizations - in other words, to engage in exclusively male camaraderie. From what I have observed at 770 and on the streets of Brooklyn during Sukkot, I think this indeed may be a significant force driving the observance of religious men. The dancing together on Shabbat in shul and in the streets during Sukkot all clearly reveal the "perk" of being included in some kind of male mystical camaraderie.

In contradistinction to ritually-inclined men, one doesn't find a need for female camaraderie among ritually-inclined women, typically. Take witches, for example. Most witches, who like chasidic men are heavily into mystical ritual, are solitary practitioners by choice. Even those witches who belong to an organized coven do not often gather together for a coven ritual. Female witches tend to be eccentric solitary creatures who engage in ritual because it's "in the blood" to do so.

Given these differences between "ritualistic" men and women, it seems that male mysticism tends to be extroverted in nature, while female mysticism tends to be introverted in nature. Generally, anyway.

Lonely Man Of Faith

י"ד באב תשס"ז

Passionate Life, an NF personality, raises up the idea in Astounding! How The Rav Clarified And Justified My Break Up With A Woman I Was Crazy About that he gave up a woman he was crazy about, even despite his Rav's offer to mediate the differences between his putative beloved and he, because she did not share some of his beliefs. He, a lonely man of faith, just couldn't marry a woman having beliefs different than his. And what was the critical belief that Passionate Life couldn't tolerate in his putative beloved? He believed in a literal interpretation of Torah m'Sinai while she believed in the documentary hypothesis, an evolving interpretation of Torah m'Sinai.

Amazing. This is a classic dynamic of an NF personality.

As an NT personality, it is clear to me that Passionate Life is operating on a delusion to believe that he was "crazy about" this woman. He was "crazy about" the idea of being crazy about someone and giving her up "for Torah". He was never crazy about the woman herself.

I do agree however, that he should not get married to this woman - as he is not crazy enough about her to make a marriage work with her. It would be this fact - his lack of "craziness" about her that would destroy the marriage - not the difference of belief.

Beliefs and understanding change over time and if anyone expects (for his/herself or his/her partner) that beliefs and understanding will or even should remain happily static, s/he in for a very rude awakening down the road.