י"ד באב תשס"ז
Passionate Life, an NF personality, raises up the idea in Astounding! How The Rav Clarified And Justified My Break Up With A Woman I Was Crazy About that he gave up a woman he was crazy about, even despite his Rav's offer to mediate the differences between his putative beloved and he, because she did not share some of his beliefs. He, a lonely man of faith, just couldn't marry a woman having beliefs different than his. And what was the critical belief that Passionate Life couldn't tolerate in his putative beloved? He believed in a literal interpretation of Torah m'Sinai while she believed in the documentary hypothesis, an evolving interpretation of Torah m'Sinai.
Amazing. This is a classic dynamic of an NF personality.
As an NT personality, it is clear to me that Passionate Life is operating on a delusion to believe that he was "crazy about" this woman. He was "crazy about" the idea of being crazy about someone and giving her up "for Torah". He was never crazy about the woman herself.
I do agree however, that he should not get married to this woman - as he is not crazy enough about her to make a marriage work with her. It would be this fact - his lack of "craziness" about her that would destroy the marriage - not the difference of belief.
Beliefs and understanding change over time and if anyone expects (for his/herself or his/her partner) that beliefs and understanding will or even should remain happily static, s/he in for a very rude awakening down the road.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
י"ד באב תשס"ז