Tarah & The Colorless Living Light

י'ו באדר א' תשס"ח
Keolwulf 17

In follow-up to my previous entry discussing the "colorless aura", Clear Living Light, two leading ideas and one key point:

From Introduction To The Book Of Zohar

"The ten (innermost) Sefirot of the direct light have no color, but when they pass through the worlds, they acquire different colors, dress into various shells, and thus manifest before us. That is how we perceive this world."

From The Inner Dimension

"The "full spelling" of Adnut = 671. As the sefirah of malchut is often identified with targum (Aramaic, the "backside" of the Holy Tongue), the number 671 is interpreted in Kabbalah to refer to the Aramaic word for "gate," tarah (= 671). Malchut (and the power of its Divine Name Adnut) is called the gateway to enter into the mystery of the Divine sefirot, the realm of the perfectly rectified consciousness of One."

Clear Living Light

י'ד באדר א' תשס"ח
Keolwulf 15

As I was laying in the dark this evening, resting with my arm over my forehead in relaxing contemplation, I saw the "clear" aura of my arm against the darkness of the room. It looked like living "clear" flames radiating from my arm - a colorless fire of "invisible yet visible" radiant light.

Pretty cool real energy and light from the darkness.

Manifest Spark Of Redemptive Magic

ב' באדר א' תשס"ח
Keolwulf 3

An interesting synchronicity with my recent Craftwork entry, Magic Keys To Redemption, where I wrote:

I have 9 magic skeleton keys, each measuring in the range from 63.5 to 127 mm in length. Nine represents the 9 sefirot from Keter to Yesod (the lunar realm where the 9 collect). The value 63.5 represents Ateret HaYesod (the sub-lunar realm and the inner source of Malchut) and the 63-letter Divine Name which carries the Will to actualize (via the value 5) the power of rectified imagination. The value 5 represents the power of expression through 5 paths of The Law as described in the esoteric teachings of both Celtic Witchcraft (for example, the Tract of The Law of Kings as found in Brehon Law) and Jewish Kabbalah (for example, the 5 Gevurot of Da'at in Malchut). The value of 127 represents the perfect extension of all that came before into Malchut.

Yesterday and today I attended a two-day seminar-workshop for work. Each day we were given a tabbed notebook containing the learning materials from a stack of preprepared notebooks. The notebooks weren't person-specific, we were each just given one from among the stack. After the seminar was well underway the first day, I noticed that my notebook was missing tab 5. During the break I told one of the speakers that my notebook was missing tab 5, and she gave me a new notebook, with the "tab 5" material in it. She didn't want the other notebook back and told me to just keep it. Later, I discovered that even though "tab 5" was missing in the first notebook, the "tab 5" material indeed was in the notebook, subsumed under the previous tab with tab 4 material. So, now I have two notebooks with all the day 1 material. A double portion. The first notebook just needs another divider tab. I have two complete notebooks, each with a set of tab 5 material, one set revealed, one set concealed.

This is an interesting little "expressive 5" synchronicity of my "magic" with "real life", I think. More importantly perhaps, is the fact that I have done no active ritual with these 9 keys as yet other than to find and acquire them as magical tools. In other words, the keys and I have found one another, and we have established a manifesting connection. The redemptive energy the keys carry was looking for a way into expressive reality, and it found me.

Circuit Of Initiation

ג' בטבת תשס"ח
Grael 4

Elisheva's recent livejournal post on magical-mystical initiation energies (Power, Knowledge, Integration) prompted me to consider my own thoughts about the energy dynamics of mystical-magical initiation processes. This is what I think:

I agree with the general concept that energy dynamics are part of any mystical-magical initiatory process, and that the "initiation energy" needs to be integrated and processed by the student-initiate, who is more likely than the teacher-initiator (who also must integrate and process the initiation energy) to not be able to handle as well as the more experienced teacher the newly released energy born of an initiatory process.

For example, when I returned to Torah in 1996 and went to the mikveh, part of the ritual involved a release of energy possibly catalyzed through the blessing of the Kohen who "initiated" me. Nevertheless, I don't think initiation energies are simply transfers of energy from teacher to student.

I think the release of "initiation energy" involves the creation of a circuit of energy. Necessarily, both the teacher and the student participate in its creation. This is why some initiations fail - the initiation isn't a one-sided transfer of energy, it's a circuit in which the consciousness of both teacher and student participate. Without the wholehearted participation of both the student and the teacher, nothing happens. The dynamic of energetic circuits is also why "when one blesses, one is blessed."

Rabbi Ishmael said: "I once entered the innermost chamber to burn incense. I saw Akhteriel Yah the Lord of Hosts sitting on a high and exalted throne. He said to me, "Ishmael my son, bless Me." Talmud, Berakhot 7a, Shoshan Sodot 52b

This kabbalistic teaching pertains to a mystical-magical initiation process.

Apopsi Anti-Psi Deflective Filtering

כ"ב בכסלו תשס"ח
Shamash 24

I've found a phrase which describes the phenomenon where news items seem to reflect in a similar manner dreams I've had immediately preceding the "news event" - the dream Peace Talks and the murder of Sean Taylor, for example. That phrase is apopsi anti-psi deflective filtering.

Phaedra Bonewits in Real Energy writes regarding anti-psi talents and the specific anti-psi talents of filtering and deflection:

Anti-psi is a categorical term for psi talents that operate primarily by affecting other psi talents. Several of these anti-psi talents seem to involve the generation of certain psi fields [1] to alter the content, directon, or power levels of other psychic energy fields. Catapsi is the generation of a psychic field of "static" in order to disrupt the data of other psychic energy fields. Similarly, splodging is a kind of psychic yelling meant to drown out competing data. Apopsi is the generation of a field into which other psi fields cannot enter, possibly accomplished by changing these other fields into other forms of energy or apporting them elsewhere. Deflection alters the directions (force vectors) of incoming psychic energies and sends them elsewhere; if they are reversed 180 degrees, the talent can be called returning or reddopsi. Negapsi, or inverting, is the generation of a psi field in which all or most of the information content (data) of an incoming psychic field is reversed, thus turning creative energies or blessings into destructive energies or curses, for example. Filtering is the ability to use apopsi or deflection selectively, thus allowing only certain portions [2] of an incoming psi field to come through. The talent for boosting energy fields is called amplication [3], and dampening for lowering them (also called amping or damping).

Isaac Bonewits writes in Real Magic about the usefulness of anti-psi talents:

The various anti-psi talents can be very useful if you have them under control, for both attack and defense purposes. Anyone who has ever been psychically attacked will know what a miserable condition it can be [4]. There are indeed such things as psychic attacks, though conditions of real disease or hypochondria and paranoia are often responsible for illusions of psychic persecution. Attacks usually take the form of a general feeling of unease, nausea, pain in the pit of the belly, and a definite lack of self confidence. You literally want to crawl into a hole and die. In nine cases out of ten, the attacker will be in your immediate vicinity, and s/he may not be aware that s/he is attacking. How can you defend yourself? If you can master types of anti-psi, you can use (these) as well (for defense).

Now I have a name for what is happening. I also have begun to specifically identify some of my naturally developing "psychic" talents for influencing energy fields.

Footnotes:

[1] Perhaps it is some sort of psi field that has been affecting the function of my electromagnetic windchimes as described here.

[2] For example, selectively allowing a dream vision of an approaching malevolent psi field that has been directed at me, while simultaneously selectively not allowing physical manifestation of its malevolent energy into my life.

[3] See amplification of divine shabbat consciousness.

[4] Yes sir, I can indeed vouch that this is true.

Electro-Magnetic Field Disturbances

י'ח בכסלו תשס"ח
Shamash 20

I have a "wind" chime in my magic room that operates on electromagnetism. It operates using an electric current and a magnet. Sometimes, even though the current is always on, the wind chime doesn't always work - the magnetic pendulum fails to be moved by the current sufficiently to strike the chimes.

The chime has not been working for several days. Suddenly today, it is working just fine again. Right now I am listening the soothing peaceful sound of my chimes. This has occurred several times - it works, then it doesn't for a few days or weeks. Then, suddenly it works fine again.

Whatever recently has been "in the air" adversely impacting the functional ability of my electromagnetic "wind" chime is no longer present.

I welcome the sound of my chime's gentle music back into my magic room. I've missed it.

What could be causing this phenomenon? Is it happening via cyclic influences on the electric current? What would cause the magnetic domains within the magnet to autonomously dis-align and realign with the earth's magnetic field cyclically and randomly like it does? Maybe it isn't random, even though it is cyclical. I'm going to start documenting these periods. What is "in the air" impacting my chimes? I want to know, as my chimes have now "stopped" again as I complete this post and I'm not happy about it.

Any ideas are welcome.

But I am happy again, nevertheless, as a mere few words later, my new magic chamsa kabbalah bracelet from Israel just arrived. And with it, my chimes started working again.

The Witch's Domain

Placement of a witch's mezuzot (athame and boline) would be like the nun m’zuneret and the nun hafucha as one might see them looking toward a transparent door from the inside. Bamidbar 10:35-36

י"ז בסיון תשס"ז

In past posts, I've described the parallel function shared between a Judaic mezuzah and a witch's athame (black-handled ritual knife). Without going into the details, in my dream last night it was actually my witch's boline (white-handled ritual knife) which functioned like a mezuzah.

In contrast to the athame which spiritually hangs just like a mezuzah as one enters a door on the upper right side, the boline hung in my dream on the inside, as one might exit a door on the lower right side (opposite and upside down from an athame-mezuzah on the same door like might be seen if the door was transparent).

An athame is not used for physical cutting, but for directing energy. A boline is more utilitarian, and is used for cutting and carving.

Thus, an athame is the tool a witch uses to redirect away unwanted energy before it enters into her domain.

Once an energy is allowed inside, honestly or through being deceived, the boline cuts and carves it into an acceptable form. Consequently, even should an uncalled but accepted energy make its way inside by deception, a true witch is not unprotected. The boline is available for use should she need to cut and carve the energy to fit a proper purpose. Once inside a witch's domain, the energy no longer has a life of it's own. It has the life the witch gives it.

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Kabbalistic Meditation For Alignment

כ"ו בניסן תשס"ז

Kabbalah teaches that each human soul is actually composed of five levels - nefesh (animated soul), ruach (wind), neshamah (breath), chayah (living) and yechidah (single one). The nefesh itself is composed of two levels - nefesh elokit (malchut of the overall soul, the divine spark) and nefesh habehamit (physical body). Thus, we will be working with six basic levels of the soul.

Generally, it is believed that the souls typically have conflicting goals, resulting in functional misalignment. Here is a daily meditation designed to bring one's souls back into alignment and unity. The meditation is merely an outline which can be uniquely tailored to one's spiritual practice.

1. Light a small candle and a stick of incense (optional step).

2. In a quiet place, sit and align your physical frame in a proper but relaxed posture.

3. Breathe, letting your back muscles and torso move with each breath.

4. Lightly touch the roof of your mouth with the tip of your tongue, breathing (through the deep back of your throat) in and out through your nose until a regular relaxed rhythm is achieved. Sway or rock if you feel so inclined.

5. Begin counted breaths. Count to 6 as you inhale slowly and evenly.

6. Pause to the count of 6.

7. Exhale slowly and evenly to the count of 6.

8. Pause to the count of 6, closing your eyes.

9. Take a breath with the sets of 6 for the physical body (nefesh habehamit). As you inhale, envision breathing in pure blue-white sparkling light drawn from the Dark Pool of the Divine Essence formed into the STa"M letter yod (י). The tag and the kotz anchor you from one end (of the Divine) to the other (the physical). As you exhale, envision breathing out the letter hei (ה), filling your body with the blue-white sparkling light. See the inside of your physical body dance with this living light, mingling with your blood, tissues and organs. See the ends of your hair and fingertips gently spark. Feel it cleansing your body.

10. Take a breath with the sets of 6 for the divine spark (nefesh elokit) which permeates and hovers your physical body. As above, inhale the letter yod and exhale the letter hei, filling the nefesh elokit with pure sparkling blue-white light drawn from the Dark Pool through the nefesh habehamit. See the sparkling blue-white light pour out from within through the flesh of your skin and into full expanse of the nefesh elokit which surrounds your physical body. See the unity of the nefashot in the living light. See it quietly pulsate with life. Feel it cleansing your lifeforce.

11. Take a breath with the sets of 6 for the ruach which surrounds the nefashot like an egg. As above, inhale the letter yod and exhale the letter hei, filling the egg of the ruach with the sparkling blue-white light drawn from the Dark Pool through both the nefesh habehamit and the nefesh elokit. See the ruach shine with diamonds of brilliant blue-white light at the edges casting soft rays toward your core. Feel it annihilate all negative emotions and psychological complexes as the rays run and return from edges to core, core to edges.

12. Take a breath with the sets of 6 for the neshamah, which concentrates like a haloed sphere around and over your head like a crown, where the crown extends beyond the boundary of the ruach. Inhale the letter yod and exhale the letter hei - as you exhale, see the sparkling blue-white light rush up the spine from the center of your core into your head, pouring sprinkling bursts of living light out your nose, ears, eyes, third eye and top of your head into the crown which represents your neshamah. Simultaneously, see the living light course through your physical nervous system into your skin receptors and into the "places" of the nefesh elokit and ruach. See sparks drop like waters of truth from the tips of the crown into the ruach, nefesh elokit and physical body (nefesh habehamit). See untruth dissolve away within your mind, replaced by the pure Light of Truth.

13. Take a breath with the sets of 6 for the chayah. Inhale the letter yod, exhale the letter hei. See the sparkling blue-white light burst out from within your core, penetrating all previous soul levels in a dazzling display of radiant light surrounding your entire being for several yards. Don't envision it - see it by knowing it. Feel its presence. Be still. See nothing. Experience Pure Enlivened Consciousness.

14. Take a breath with the sets of 6 for the yechidah. Inhale the letter yod, exhale the letter hei. See a dazzling lazer-like line shoot out from your core in both directions, head to toe and beyond into the Dark Pool at both ends. Feel grounded in it. Feel the Dark Peace resting in the heart of the dazzling lazer line of Divine Light. See Divine Sparks shower down over you with soft warmth, and rise from the ground to kiss your lips as the Dark Heart of Peace beats in rhythm with your own heart. Experience the Healing Power. Feel it healing you.

At this point, we are breathing with the lifeforce of YH YHYH (יה יהיה) through both immanent and transcendent soul levels in unity.

15. Repeat steps 9-14 four more times, such that the exercise has been completed five times - once for each Universe - kadmon, atzilut, beriyah, yetzirah and assiyah.

16. Begin breathing normally.

17. After a few cycles of normal breathing, open your eyes and remove your tongue from the roof of your mouth.

18. Stretch, stand up, let candle and incense burn out.

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Sixth Sense, Shadows Of Resurrection

ט' בניסן תשס"ז

I have a "sixth" sense. It is rather nonspecific. I tend to sense "energy" or rather energy tends to channel through me.

Though it channels through my entire body, it can localize sometimes too, like in my forehead between my eyes. That seems to be a favorite collecting place for the vibrations when they localize (and they don't always).

I kabbalistically "read" this energy when it localizes to a particular body area, as a function of sefirotic combinations. Letters sometimes emerge spontaneously from these combinations.

Sometimes I actually "see" letters in my mind. The letters don't "look" like any of the scripts for hebrew letters I've ever seen, but I "know" in my mind that they are "hebrew" letters. In fact, the actual "form" of the letters I can never remember. They retain "formlessness" to natural awareness. All that is left of them is the "impression" of letter identity. Many times there is a chaotic mess of letters that I "see" as the vibrating "fabric" of spacetime.

Of course, this vibrating chaotic mess of "almost something" is not something I've newly discovered. I've been able to see it for as long as I can remember. Nevertheless, only as an adult have "letters" emerged from this soup of almost something into awareness.

I wrote this poem about the vibrating soup, when I was a teenager:

reverberating
caught from the corner of my eye, many times
space something like static electricity
shadows of shadows of shadows
flitting by so fast, so little, so many, so mashed
into one another
that no
distinction of otherness exists
when seeing
into the light against the darkness
quiet and still, yet somehow flowing bursting full
like a river of no thing really
... focusing, it's all gone ...
and only, when again
without direct intention, tricking the mind with intention
playing hide and peek
looking out sideways, from a corner of the soul
only then, can no thing
be seen
really

Practical Kabbalah Advice

ט' בניסן תשס"ז

It was asked on a forum I belong to "how to tap into" storm energy. This person's question led me to realize that I tap into storm and weather energy naturally and without intention.

This energy can build up in me to annoying proportions and a few nights ago, I had to experiment with various methods by which to release and ground it well enough to enable me to go to sleep. I got rid of enough of it to go to sleep, but I'm not sure that just releasing it wildly (undirected) into the world is a good thing. But, I didn't know what else to do with it. I released it in a rather odd manner and trusted my gut even though it might seem weird if I wrote how I did it. I feel I was deeply guided as I did it and all is fine, but still, I did it in ignorance and I am uncomfortable with remaining ignorant on the matter.

I understand that weather can affect all people to greater and lesser degrees - I'm not talking about normal effects the weather can have on biology. My body can sometimes literally vibrate with atmospheric energy. Some energies are pleasant and some energies are not. The experience of pleasantness has nothing to so with energetic intensity really, but rather seems linked to some quality of the energy itself.

The energetic accumulation that I experience is not "normal". It crosses over into the occult realm and I'm not quite sure how to work effectively with this energy. Is there a book out there that deals with this phenomenon?

I need some guidelines. Don't even bother to respond to this post to tell me what I'm doing is wrong. This is a natural evolution of my development and it's going to happen with or without my acquiescence. I have this energy, it's increasing in frequency and intensity, and I need to know how to deal with it.

I need real guidance, not moralizing.