Thussaraun & Self-Initiation into the Runic Mysteries

Nú era Háva mál, kveðin Háva höllu í
allþörf ýta sonum, óþörf jötna sonum
heill sá er kvað, heill sá er kann
njóti sá er nam, heilir þeirs hlýddu [Havamal 164]

THUSSARAUN (meaning "initiatory test") is linked (in the traditional rune poem known as Malrunakenningar) to an ancient proto-etin (proto-giant) called Fornjotur and to the rune Thurisaz (also known as Thurs in the Younger Futhark).

In Havamal 164, the word óþörf releases the powerful initiatory energy of the THUSSARAUN. The transliteration of the word óþörf into Younger Futhark runes is ᚢᚦᛆᚢᚱᚠ (ur-thurs-ar-ur-reidh-fe).

Looking at the runes which formulate the whole word (óþörf), the first ur and the ar-ur surrounding the thurs (thurisaz in the Elder Futhark) can be seen as strengthening the thurs, while the last letters reidh-fe make the strengthened thurs both mobile and increased. How the thurs plays out into the life of the initiate is solely dependent upon how the individual handles the thurs rune.

A powerful but potentially dangerous rune, thursiaz/thurs means thorn and conjures up preconscious aggressive chaotic forces, both in the being of the initiate and in the cosmos. Consequently, this is a dangerous rune to invoke, but this is the rune which must be successfully managed and its energy controlled to enter into the deep mysteries of the runes.

My newest candle THUSSARAUN has been handcrafted for ritual self-initiation into the runic mysteries.

Powerfully evocative, handcrafted with premium all natural paraffin wax and pure cotton wick, THUSSARAUN features the emblematic colors of the Teutonic peoples (white, red and black), is generously scented with Saturn-associated Mimosa (and more), herb charged with the 9 sacred herbs of Northern Tradition Witchcraft (Mugwort, Plantain, Nettle, Fennel, Chamomile, Chervil, Watercress, Crabapple Wood and Viper's Bugloss), painted with 9 hand painted rune-red thurisaz runes, and wrapped with black and red suede leather adorned with a silver metal Thor's lightning bolt (to aid you toward control) charm.

Thussaraun Pillar Blot Candle

Mysteries, Heimdallr and the World Tree

A little over half way through the video linked below (embedding disabled), it discusses Heimdallr as the "Living Universe", which is very relevant to my own experience of the mysteries when I was 5 or 6.

Mysteries, Heimdallr and the World Tree

Teutonic Divine Femiine Mysteries Initiation

After finishing my work for the evening, in interesting synchronicity with earlier events, I reached into my runebag and pulled out a single rune to mark the energy of the day - Berkano, the rune of Hel (Frau Holle, the earth mother goddess) and initiatory rites of passage. My patroness Frau Holle has initiated me into the Divine Feminine mysteries of my Scandinavian Ancestors and marked it with this specific rune.

Black Gold

י'ח אדר א' תשס"ט
Keolwulf 19

Last night I dreamt.

Many 'scientists-alchemists' had searched for the cure, for the answer, for the 'right formula'. But no one had found it yet, and the few who had been brave enough to try into the final but multifaceted dangerous step had ended up with a disfigurement of the skin and face. Like Moses.

The disfigurement was cancer-like and would slowly eat away at the person's form, eventually making the person crazy-like mad and turning the person into hard stone which would itself then easily crumble into dust. One man had found a treatment that would stave off the disfiguring and cancer-like progression on the skin for a limited time, such that even though he had the condition, his skin had not progressed to apparent disfigurement yet. Time was running out though, and he needed to find the cure before it did.

Then came Black Goddess Underworld Initiation Ritual Concoction. Like a mad scientist myself, I had prepared my own alchemical concoction, my own attempt at the 'right formula'. My final extract poured down from its vessel in the sky, down from the upper horizon of and into the dream as a thin line-like stream of pure-black oil.

I saw the man reach out his hand to catch some of the 'black gold' in his own black mortar. I heard the words 'black gold' as he did it. As he was catching the black gold as it poured down, he slid his hand into the stream until black gold poured over his hand as well - this was a very dangerous, potentially lethal and intimate act of immutable connection to it, and to me, the creator of the black gold. The black gold contained Awesome Divine mystical power. It could easily kill a person to touch it directly. It was dangerous enough to just catch it in one's mortar, but to touch it directly, to take it upon one's skin - well, there was no turning back and no way out of taking it to the end now, whatever that end may be. This one and I are immutably and irrevocably joined now.

There were two 'areas' which pertain to the long-sought cure - the one which has been known by all those who have tried alone in the past, and the other concerns 'balance'. The man's act contributed balance where all others have not. We are on our way, going now where no one has gone before.

In the dream it was clear, no one in the history of humankind had ever gotten this far before.

I woke up. And decided to add a naughty touch of lampblack into the final preparation of Black Goddess Underworld Initiation Ritual Concoction.

Related entry, Thursday night's dream -
Countenance Of Radiant Gold, Robe Of Light

Gateway

ו' בשבט תשס"ח
Imbolgen 6

I literally and physically took my spirit cord to the crossroads this motzi shabbat.

Just as there is a 3-shin and a 4-shin in Hebrew, and just as there are 3 and 4 Celtic fire festivals, there is a liminal crossroads of 3 and 4 roads in witchcraft. The crossroads of 4 represents the 4 directions (E-N-S-W), while the crossroads of 3 represents a central locus of consciousness experiencing involutionary (above, surrounding, moving inward, mekabel) and evolutionary (below, projective, moving outward, mashpiya) movements with respect to the central mediating locus of consciousness.

With 7 directions, governed by the Queen of Witches, particularly on this motzi shabbat sixth day of Shevat/Imbolgen, the crossroads is a liminal no-man's land, a chalal hapanui, and a gateway to the extraordinary.

The crossroads ritual was performed with the waxing crescent moon 21% full.

Following the ritual, I gave a gift of blessing to the peaceful elementals, nature spirits and faeries who dwell at the crossroads. The physical vehicle for the blessing gift consisted of dandelion soaked in olive oil from upon my altar, pomegranate seeds, salted bread, myrrh, mugwort and cedarwood.

Circuit Of Initiation

ג' בטבת תשס"ח
Grael 4

Elisheva's recent livejournal post on magical-mystical initiation energies (Power, Knowledge, Integration) prompted me to consider my own thoughts about the energy dynamics of mystical-magical initiation processes. This is what I think:

I agree with the general concept that energy dynamics are part of any mystical-magical initiatory process, and that the "initiation energy" needs to be integrated and processed by the student-initiate, who is more likely than the teacher-initiator (who also must integrate and process the initiation energy) to not be able to handle as well as the more experienced teacher the newly released energy born of an initiatory process.

For example, when I returned to Torah in 1996 and went to the mikveh, part of the ritual involved a release of energy possibly catalyzed through the blessing of the Kohen who "initiated" me. Nevertheless, I don't think initiation energies are simply transfers of energy from teacher to student.

I think the release of "initiation energy" involves the creation of a circuit of energy. Necessarily, both the teacher and the student participate in its creation. This is why some initiations fail - the initiation isn't a one-sided transfer of energy, it's a circuit in which the consciousness of both teacher and student participate. Without the wholehearted participation of both the student and the teacher, nothing happens. The dynamic of energetic circuits is also why "when one blesses, one is blessed."

Rabbi Ishmael said: "I once entered the innermost chamber to burn incense. I saw Akhteriel Yah the Lord of Hosts sitting on a high and exalted throne. He said to me, "Ishmael my son, bless Me." Talmud, Berakhot 7a, Shoshan Sodot 52b

This kabbalistic teaching pertains to a mystical-magical initiation process.

Of Proven Character

ט"ז בסיון תשס"ז

In my previous entry I wrote:

Interestingly, in Hebrew, "woman" (ishah אשה) generically is not from "man". While man is from the shoresh איש implying strength, woman is from the shoresh אנש which means to "be weak" or "be sick" (like the spotted leopard). In other words, woman (in a generic sense as opposed to an individuated sense) is from a root implying unproven character. The feminine plural of ishah is nashim (נשים), without the letter aleph (א) as in anashim (masculine plural, referring to both men and to a group of righteous people of any gender).

What is the root difference between nashim and anashim?

First, there is no letter aleph of Unity and transcendent Divine Consciousness in the beginning of the plural form of generic femininity.

Second, nashim is from the shoresh (root) אנש implying weakness, frailness and sickness.

Third, given the association of anashim with righteousness, the word anashim may be derived from a dynamic complex combination of the shorashim:

נשה - being obligated (to be righteous, see Niddah 30b)
נשׂה - testing (drawing out and raising up righteousness)
נשׂא - raised up (righteous)

Thus, the root of ishah (woman in a generic sense) implies a state of undeveloped righteousness. For a woman to move from the undeveloped state, she must willfully obligate herself toward achieving true righteousness (as opposed to false piety). If she willfully accepts the obligation to be righteous, a period of testing followed by achieving righteousness will emerge from her obligation truthfully accepted.

Mystics, kabbalists, witches and shamans call an act of willful obligation to one's path of development, consecration, marking this act of willful obligation with a ritual of consecration. The period of testing is called initiation. Following a successful journey through initiation, one becomes an adept (a mistress/master of the path).

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Alert, From The Court Of The Law

י"ח באדר תשס"ז

As I wrote in the comments section of my previous post, noting various additional pieces of "spell data" [1], the profound depression and tiredness I had been feeling all day began to lift as the blend was completed. By 10:30pm, it was completely gone. Consequently, the profound depression and tiredness I felt were likely the result of a psychic attack against me by human beings adept at calling up spiritual entities at the psychospiritual level of reality.

Return To Equilibrium & Ceromancy, The Evidence

Moreover, that I returned to psychophysical equilibrium so quickly following preparation of the magickal incense, coupled with the formation which "climbed up" from my ritual candle, further supports a magickal attack against me. The amazingly clear figure of Lenpw (Anubis) is not one which would easily and naturally form without the Hand of Divine Providence guiding it to provide me with the information.

Thus, these two particular pieces of data merit further investigation into the symbolism associated with the archetype, Lenpw.

From Gnostic Teachings:

The Human Soul [2] of the Initiate (center) stands before Anubis [3], the great Judge of the Law of Karma [4], who weighs the heart (in the jar) against a feather (Mind [5]) to measure psychological Equilibrium [6]: the fundamental requirement of true spiritual development. This also weighs karma and Dharma [7], bad and good actions.

Behind the Initiate is his Ka [8], Astral Body [9] (bird with a human head). It is on the side of the jar containing the heart, which indicates the close relationship between emotion and the Astral Body.

The Divine Father (Chesed [10]) and Divine Mother [11] of the Initiate wait on the far left. They always bow before the will of the Law.

Above are the forty-two judges [12] of the Law.

On the far right is Thoth [13], the Causal Logos [14] of the Initiate, who records the judgment and waits to see if the Initiate is to be consumed by the Demon [15] Ammit with the face of a crocodile.

I was not consumed by the magickally induced depressive state. It died, leaving me alert as to what had transpired.

Footnotes:

[1] data associated with the preparation of Liorah's Abramelin Blend

[2] tiferet

[3] one who awakens consciousness

[4] deeds

[5] superior manas, tiferet; inferior manas, netzach

[6] hishtavut

[7] righteousness, duty, inner constitution which governs growth, the law, the way, great truth

[8] solar astral body, "body of desires"

[9] ibid.

[10] 4th sphere on the Tree Of Life

[11] Gevurah

[12] Ana Be-Koach

[13] "mind" of messianic consciousness

[14] unifying principle

[15] a person "becomes" a demon when his or her higher soul withdraws

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On Using The Term "Fluffy"

י"ג בשבט תשס"ז

I think most occult and spiritual-religious traditions recognize that a certain amount of harsh testing [1] precedes true initiation into the occult mysteries, so to speak. Consequently, "fluffy" is typically a derogatory [2] term applied to a witch whose "constitution" has not been tested and "refined" in a manner consistent with whatever path she or he follows.

I personally do not believe that the level of "head knowledge" is always an accurate indicator of "fluffiness", as many very knowledgeable people can be "fluffy" and many rather unknowledgeable people can be rather "occult intense".

I also do not advocate calling other witches fluffy, even if a particular witch may be what I might consider fluffy. We all are charged to develop upon our chosen path and if we aren't fluffy in this lifetime, certainly (in my opinion) we were fluffy in a previous one.

Name-calling another witch fluffy is really more reflective of the witch who uses this term as opposed to the one the descriptor may be aimed against.

Footnotes:

[1] I am referring to testing much like classic shamanic initiation, where one is "chosen" by the Divine and/or spirits for progression upon the occult or shamanic path. With respect to human-initiated persecution in the name of "testing", while persecution may be a tool of Divine-spiritual testing, the human persecutors are not excused of any wrong action they may initiate against a victim of their persecution. In other words, it is incorrect to think oneself above spiritual law and authorized to willfully persecute another in the name of occult testing.

[2] Sometimes the term may be generally and non-derogatorily applied to novice witches, but more often than not, it is meant in a derogatory manner. As with many terms of human language, context and intent count.

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Divine Feminine, Druidry & Chanukah

In follow up to my post on the Oak Of Asherah where I wrote:

The goddess archetype Asherah is associated with the oak tree ... Some of the meanings of the shoresh (root) אלה include: master, combine elements for control, G-d who combines all natural force ... the gematria of the physical oak tree אלון in reality is 87. This value is the gematria of Elohim אלהים plus 1 (im hakolel).

One could posit that the "oak tree" symbolizes the "place"where "complete unity of multiplicity" may be actualized in nature.This "feminine" actualization would be a powerful transcendental yet simultaneously immanent "feminine force" to be reckoned with, a unified field even - a unification of all physical forces of nature - on par with Havayah.

and also in follow up to my post about my dream this morning where I was initiated as Celtic-Jewish hybrid Druid priestess, I note two related ideas. First, chanukah is coming up later this week. With respect to both chanukah and the concept of "initiation", Dave @ Balashon writes on the etymology of the word chanukah חנוכה:

This article by Prof. Stefan Reif shows how the basic meaning of the root חנך is "to begin, initiate". He writes that the places where the verb חנך is used in regards to the Mishkan or Beit HaMikdash (Bamidbar 7:10, Divrei HaYamim II 7:5-9) a good translation would be "initation" or "starting upon their course of beneficial service". ...

Rashi on Bereshit 14:14 writes that "the word חנך signifies introducing a person or a thing, for the first time, to some particular occupation in which it is intended that he should remain".

Second, on the etymology of the word Druid:

Druid comes to English from Latin druides (pronounced /dru'i.des/), which is the same as the term used by Ancient Greek writers, the first to discuss the Celts: Δρυίδης[3] (Druides), associated by folk etymology with drus (δρύς, pronounced /drys/ meaning "oak tree") and -ides (-ιδης meaning "the son of" as per Aristides). The Latin and Greek terms trace via Proto-Celtic *druwid (also reconstructed as *druwis and *druwids) to the Proto-Indo-European roots *deru- and *weid-.
*deru-[1] is reconstructed as meaning "to be firm, solid, steadfast".

The defining "Druidic" characteristics of firm and steadfast were evident in another recent dream, Key To The Temple, and also discussed here, Binyamin & The Dark Feminine.

Taking all this together, we can see that all the ideas of:

1. being initiated as a Celtic-Jewish Druid priestess
2. unifying the Divine Feminine into a configuration on par with Havayah
3. building the Mishkan and/or Beit HaMikdash
4. Chanukah as a time of mystical initiation

are all intimately related.

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Shamanistic Initiation

I dreamt.

I was working as a "lowly" (shefel) Jewish nurse at a hospital. Another "higher" Jewish nurse (higher in terms of social and professional status) was treating a sick baby. I helped her with the procedure she was doing as part of her work, even though it was time for me go home. She was going to help me too.

We were both off work following the procedure. We exited the building and walked each to our separate cars in the parking lot. I was ashamed for anyone in her group to see my car.

I woke up.

The other night, at work, an older woman walked past me as I was administering medications, and as she walked on by, she said to me "hi, medicine woman". I never saw her face. The way she said it, struck me. It particularly struck given the context in which it was said.

The very same evening I had read about the path of the shaman. One pattern which distinguishes the shamanistic path is the "experience of a major crisis or initiation process whereby a person undergoes a magical transformation from ordinary individual to magically powerful shaman." [Celtic Wisdom, Carl McColman] I think the unrelenting nature of the multiple crises which have marked my lifepath qualify to be called a "shamanistic initiation".

This woman's remark, whether intentional on her part or not, confirms it in my mind. I am now an initiated shaman, a spiritual medicine woman.

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