Two Streams, One Winding Line Of Consciousness

כ"ז בטבת תשס"ח
Grael 28

This Shabbat, the black wax of my main ritual candle was cut quickly and completely down one side like a river cut into the wax (as the deep melted pool of wax drained from around the wick, see graphic, click to enlarge) to the candle holder (over 1-2 inches depending on the perspective of timeline) by the very high radically jumping and leaping flame connected to the wick’s fire. It happened so fast that I only noticed it as the melted black wax was already pouring down the side of my altar. The flame was so unusually high-jumping (I’d estimate it reached 6-9 inches at times), it was so furiously energetic, that I had put it out with a candle snuffer lest it reach over and catch fire the cloth which covered my crystal ball. After putting out the potential fire hazard, I stuck a fingertip into the melted, still warm but cooling, wax on the side of my altar cloth. I’m not sure why I did this. I just did it. I wanted to know the feel of the wax. What was the story it had to tell?

I read a bit of my new book, The Spirit Cord (whose esoteric disciplines I have begun to practice already), before going to sleep.

Following these things, Shabbat night I dreamt.

There was a pervasive catastrophe that devastated the area that included the city of Danville. The devastation bringing death concentrated east (tiferet) of Vermilion Street (which cuts through the center of the downtown business district in Danville). The raging torrent of a mighty river came with the devastating energy, flowing north (gevurah) to south (chesed) down Vermilion Street. Vermilion Street formed the “bed” (choshen mishpat) of the raging river which separated between the camp of life (located on the western side) and the camp of death (located on the eastern side).

Initially in the dream, my children and I lived on the eastern side where the death energy was beginning to concentrate. To escape it, we had to go west (yesod) and across the raging river. Unlike the Ba'al Shem Tov (who used a secret knowledge of Divine Names), I simply gathered up (enfolding involutionary stream) my children, who took the forms of a neutral colored slippery little earth-worm and a leather shoulder bag (like a Benjamin's bag) with a matching leather shoulder strap. I could easily and safely carry these forms with me across the raging river to safety. Before starting across the raging river, as I was about to tell the little earthworm form to get into a clear protective sandwich baggie (so it wouldn’t slip out of my grip as I carried it in the raging water), the little worm did it automatically as if it knew instinctively what it should do or what I was going to tell it. I had dipped the baggie into the river water so that it also contained a manageable amount of water to keep the worm wet and hydrated. As soon as I had done this and/or as I was doing it (simultaneously – tohu - yet distinctly in order - tikun) the worm entered into the clear baggie, which I carried in my hand. Similarly, the leather strapped-purse placed itself/was placed by me upon my shoulder.

Now my family and others who were walking with me toward safety stood together on the eastern bank of the raging river that was Vermilion Street, in the downtown business district. I was going to lead our little band across the raging river. I told everyone to walk carefully, not quickly, and to “feel out” each step each took “for him or herself” as they followed my footsteps across the raging river. They were to feel first before committing a foot to “stepping down” on the floor of the riverbed. The torrential churning current could wipe out the ground underwater and create a hole in the riverbed at any moment between individual steps. I explained, if a new hole arose, they were to take an alternate step than the one I took. "Don’t just step there because I did. See,” I said, feeling a new hole in the riverbed as I “felt” my own way as I started across, “here is a hole, and I am not stepping here (where my foot had originally been directed underneath the water and where those who followed could not see the redirection of my footstep in the churning water).” They indicated they understood. Carrying my children in easy-to-carry forms, one as a slippery worm in a river water-containing plastic baggie and two as the strap and bag of a leather purse, I continued through it, carefully feeling each step of the way. Many others followed my example across the raging river in one long winding single line (this is relevant to the purchase my besom yesterday morning, to the unbroken chain - mi'Sinai - of esoteric transmission, and to messianic consciousness) that extended from beyond the eastern (where death was concentrating in the dream) horizon behind me, across the river and onto the western shore.

I soon stepped centrally upon the western bank of the raging river to safety, as did all those behind me who had followed and were still (on the eastern side of the river) coming to join the “winding line” connected to a proven safe journey out of the camp of death and into the camp of life. I sat down for a moment to rest my aching (but not hurt) left hip muscle that had borne the primary portion of the burden of the workload of making it across.

As my children and I rested there, we “unwrapped” (unfolding evolutionary stream) ourselves in the atmosphere of safety on the western shore. I recognized an acquaintance (no form of any particular person I know in real life) sitting to the north of me who had also made it across the raging river. He appeared emotionally at a loss. Recognizing me as well, he got up from where he was sitting and walked over to me. He told me he had lost his family in the catastrophe and was alone. We reached out to one another simultaneously and placed our hands on the other’s opposite shoulders in a comforting gesture. Then, we leaned forward and touched our foreheads together, also a comforting gesture.

I woke up.

Tzitz Of A Flame

י"ג באב תשס"ז

While the melting wax of last evening's black ritual candle wakes up a witch, the melting wax from this shabbat morning's black ritual candle inscribed with the words "happiness nes נס" and dressed with Feminine Clarity shabbat oil created the form of a 3-shin with a "bud" (tzitz ציץ) on the right flame of it. It is good.

The appearance of a tzitz on a 3-shin in the wax over the wax of the waking witch indicates that the witch's waking is at the stage of manifest potential called koach. This stage immediately precedes actualization into reality. Actuality is called poal.

Waking Up A Witch

י"ג באב תשס"ז

Like something from the Legend Of Sleepy Hollow, the melting wax of my black shabbat ritual candle inscribed simply with the word "happiness" and dressed with Feminine Clarity shabbat oil created the form of a headless witch in the position of observing the flame of my candle. I interpret this to mean that a witch without current access to working with the upper sefirot - keter, chochmah, binah and da'at - is observing me in order to "wake up" the wisdom energies of these sefirot to her understanding.

May her endeavor be so blessed. So mote it be. אמן

The Black Bridge

י"ז באייר תשס"ז

Another synchronicity with the universe and the 13-moons analysis of my birthdate.

I lost track of time this evening and allowed the third reversal candle to burn longer than I had originally anticipated. By the time I came to snuff the flame out for day 4 (of 13), I discovered that the black wax had melted down, forming a horizontal bridge 6 inches long from the reversal candle holder, over a tea candle holder and onto a wooden box housing some ritual supplies I keep on my altar. When the reversal candle "released" its portion of the wax, the bridge between the tea candle holder and the box was 5 inches long.

Mei Niddah

י"ד באייר תשס"ז

The third phase of the 3-month reversal and protection ritual was initated this evening of Beltane 5767, with the Moon 100% full in Scorpio (corresponding to the Hebrew letter nun נ).

Daytime ritual preparations were performed on day 28 of the omer, under the influence of Malchut of Netzach (by both the Gra and Ari arrays of the sefirot), during the planetary hours of Pluto (Da'at) and the Moon (dalet ד). The ritual proper was performed counting day 29 of the omer, under the influence of Tiferet of Hod (Gra array) or Chesed of Hod (Ari array), under the influence of the Moon (dalet ד).

Incenses used: kabbalistic name blend, dragon's blood, amber moon (to protect psychic centers) and Satisfaction.

Ceromancy: A hooded Druid-like figure emerged from the burning wax, appearing to "guard" the black Beltane ritual candle; by the time the candle had burned out, the black wax had both dripped down to the base surface and towered up over the candle holder.

The shoresh נדד meaning to "separate", "withdraw" and "distance" emerges from the spell data. Thus, this phase of the reversal and protection ritual finalizes the separation of the curse cast against me from me and from those I love, severing it completely, thereby fully releasing it to return back to its source.

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Totafot, She Who Rears Up

כ"א באדר תשס"ז

While researching the knot of Isis, I came upon the formation that developed in the wax of my reversal candle Friday night (the 8th night of the ritual)! It looked like the Uraeus (shown).

From About.com:

The Uraeus is the serpent emblem found in Egyptian portrayals of Royalty and Deity. It is a symbol of divine authority, representing the Goddess Wedjat as the all seeing eye of Ra, who was believed to protect the Pharoahs by spitting fire, and the emblem of the Lower Kingdom of Egypt. According to legend, the Cobra was given to the pharoahs as a sign of kingship by the God Geb.

From Wiki:

The Uraeus (plural Uraei or Uraeuses) is the stylized, upright form of an Egyptian spitting cobra (or snake / serpent / asp), used as a symbol of sovereignty, royalty, deity and divine authority in ancient Egypt. Uraeus is a Greek word that may have its origins in ancient Egyptian, meaning "she who rears up".

According to the Story of Re, the first uraeus was created by the goddess Isis who formed it from the dust of the earth and the spittle of the sun-god. The uraeus was the instrument with which Isis gained the throne of Egypt for her husband Osiris.

Another name for this is the term "Totaf" found also in the Bible.

Totafot has an Egyptian etymology. Moreover, it too, the the tyet, is an amulet. Dave at Balashon writes on the etymology of totafot:

Significantly in ancient Egyptian, ftu or fot means four, while tot can denote a gathering, resemblance, divine, or hard leather. Hence, totafoth may have had the connotation of a fourfold amulet, made of leather, as the Tefillin indeed are.

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Alert, From The Court Of The Law

י"ח באדר תשס"ז

As I wrote in the comments section of my previous post, noting various additional pieces of "spell data" [1], the profound depression and tiredness I had been feeling all day began to lift as the blend was completed. By 10:30pm, it was completely gone. Consequently, the profound depression and tiredness I felt were likely the result of a psychic attack against me by human beings adept at calling up spiritual entities at the psychospiritual level of reality.

Return To Equilibrium & Ceromancy, The Evidence

Moreover, that I returned to psychophysical equilibrium so quickly following preparation of the magickal incense, coupled with the formation which "climbed up" from my ritual candle, further supports a magickal attack against me. The amazingly clear figure of Lenpw (Anubis) is not one which would easily and naturally form without the Hand of Divine Providence guiding it to provide me with the information.

Thus, these two particular pieces of data merit further investigation into the symbolism associated with the archetype, Lenpw.

From Gnostic Teachings:

The Human Soul [2] of the Initiate (center) stands before Anubis [3], the great Judge of the Law of Karma [4], who weighs the heart (in the jar) against a feather (Mind [5]) to measure psychological Equilibrium [6]: the fundamental requirement of true spiritual development. This also weighs karma and Dharma [7], bad and good actions.

Behind the Initiate is his Ka [8], Astral Body [9] (bird with a human head). It is on the side of the jar containing the heart, which indicates the close relationship between emotion and the Astral Body.

The Divine Father (Chesed [10]) and Divine Mother [11] of the Initiate wait on the far left. They always bow before the will of the Law.

Above are the forty-two judges [12] of the Law.

On the far right is Thoth [13], the Causal Logos [14] of the Initiate, who records the judgment and waits to see if the Initiate is to be consumed by the Demon [15] Ammit with the face of a crocodile.

I was not consumed by the magickally induced depressive state. It died, leaving me alert as to what had transpired.

Footnotes:

[1] data associated with the preparation of Liorah's Abramelin Blend

[2] tiferet

[3] one who awakens consciousness

[4] deeds

[5] superior manas, tiferet; inferior manas, netzach

[6] hishtavut

[7] righteousness, duty, inner constitution which governs growth, the law, the way, great truth

[8] solar astral body, "body of desires"

[9] ibid.

[10] 4th sphere on the Tree Of Life

[11] Gevurah

[12] Ana Be-Koach

[13] "mind" of messianic consciousness

[14] unifying principle

[15] a person "becomes" a demon when his or her higher soul withdraws

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Lenpw, Guardian Of The Flame

י"ח באדר תשס"ז

I prepared my unique Abramelin Blend (hereby named Liorah's Abramelin Blend) tonight under the daily archetypes of Aaron and Lugh (given it was after sundown). The planetary hour was Mercury. I have been very depressed and tired today. Neverthless, I made myself do it - against the psychophysical forces conspiring to prevent me from doing it.

I ground and blended the ingredients in my mortar as tonight's 6th portion (of 13 total portions) of the reversal candle was burning. I also burned a small 4 inch black chime-size ritual candle (as well as other daily altar candles) in parallel. Witch's Brew incense was burning.

After completing the blend preparation and cleaning my tools, it was time to snuff out the reversal candle (in the center of my altar) for tonight. As I was doing it, I noticed the 4 inch black ritual candle near it (on the left side of my altar) was burning low to the candlestick. The bottom of the flame was at the top of the silver candlestick and the melted wax was even with the top of the candlestick.

Oddly, similar to once before, another formation (as drawn above) had "climbed up" from the right side of the candlestick. This time the formation towered over the flame, as if guarding it. Immediately, the formation called into my mind the name "Anubis". The formation looked like pictures of Anubis I've seen! It even had a tail and two pointy ears and a nose! Anubis was guarding the flame of my ritual candle.

From Wiki on Anubis:

Anubis is the Greek name for the ancient jackal-headed god of the dead in Egyptian mythology whose hieroglyphic version is more accurately spelled Anpu (also Anup, Anupu, Wip, Ienpw, Inepu, Yinepu,"Inpu", or Inpw). He is also known as Sekhem Em Pet. Prayers to Anubis have been found carved on the most ancient tombs in Egypt; indeed, the Unas text (line 70) associates him with the Eye of Horus. He serves as both a guide of the recently departed and a guardian of the dead.

Anubis was the guardian of the dead, who greeted the souls in the Underworld and protected them on their journey. It was he who deemed the deceased worthy of becoming a star. Ancient Egyptian texts say that Anubis silently walked through the shadows of life and death and lurked in dark places. He was watchful by day as well as by night. He also weighed the heart of the dead against the feather symbol of Ma’at, the goddess of truth. One of the reasons that the ancient Egyptians took such care to preserve their dead with sweet-smelling herbs was that it was believed Anubis would check each person with his keen canine nose. Only if they smelled pure would he allow them to enter the Kingdom of the Dead.

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Insect Of Redemption

א' באדר תשס"ז

In a previous post, I mentioned performing a "brit milah" on my witch's pestle this past shabbat. I also wrote of the formation of a man's figure in the dripping wax of my black shabbat candle as I made my kabbalistic name incense the same night. I had already prepared the reversal candle for the upcoming full moon reversal ritual prior to both blending the incense and to noticing the wax formation. In the entry, I also noted that I had let the wax figure fall off naturally as the candle melted. But, there is more to the story than previously reported ...

I let the wax man's figure, which amazingly still looked exactly the same as it had on the side of candle, remain where it had fallen from the candle onto the pentacle altar tile overnight. I wasn't sure what to do with it, so strange and perfectly formed was it, so I just left it there. I went to bed.

The next morning as I lay in bed not fully awake yet, I had a sudden vision in my mind of a black "shadow" insect running from the wooden altar box (in which my prepared reversal candle had been safely stored) over to and merging with the black wax of the figure laying on the pentacle. I knew this was not a "real" bug, but an insect of some mystical importance. I immediately got up, lit dragon's blood incense and a sage smudge stick, running the wax figure through the smoke of both. I then immediately put it in a box for leftover ritual candle wax for "burial in the earth" later.

I didn't know what the black bug meant, but I didn't want any negative energies attaching to something which was clearly important.

Insect in Hebrew is חיפושות and has a total gematria of 810. The digit sum of this value is 9, which is the value of the letter tet ט. Interestingly, insect - though one appears ugly - is from the shoresh חפש meaning "freeing" and "redeeming".

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Sam Chayyim

כ"ט בשבט תשס"ז

Catherine Yronwode, a hoodoo rootworker writes regarding reading signs in candle magick:

When we burn candles, we often watch and wait for divinatory signs that tell us how the work is going to come out -- that is, whether the spell will be a success or not. Some of the common signs we observe are so-called "coincidences" (especially names and subject matter that relate to those in the spell). We can also consult a system of divination, such as using a pendulum or a Jack Ball, reading or cutting playing cards or tarot cards, or employing Bibliomancy (divination by means of a book such as the Bible). Another easy way to get a divination on candle-burning spells is through ceromancy -- divination by wax. In this case, the wax we "read" is the wax of the candles themselves.

As I was making my kabbalistic name incense last night, I noticed a strange wax formation hanging off the side of my black shabbat candle (which had been dressed with essential lavender oil prior to lighting it). The candle had been burning for quite some time, and I hadn't noticed the figure form on the side of candle. My kavanah was focused on blending my name incense, and yet, at the perfect time, the candle flame caught my eye.


The odd formation was the figure of a man who appeared to be "hanging on" (down and up the side of the candle) to get a glimpse of the flame [1]. The figure wasn't just dripping down the side - it was attached to the main portion of the candle wax via a small projection near the center of the body and had a "head and upper body portion" which was "gazing" at the flame. The attachment was shaped like - well, you know what - it also appeared to look like the death sickle in the hand (not raised, but lowered) of the grim reaper from another angle.

I considered knocking the wax off the body of the candle, as if it were a klipah. But, I decided to let it fall off gently as the candle continued burning. The figure seemed singlemindedly enchanted by the flame.

Later that evening, as I was removing (with a ritually dedicated utility knife) resin stuck to my pestle, I unintentionally scraped off a small bit of the pestle material itself. If you've ever worked with the thick resin of chelbenah, you can easily understand how this might stick to a pestle.

Reflecting upon all this, it's clear that the deep mind was operating here last night, given the figure of a man formed from the candle wax and the "brit milah" performed on my pestle last night. Truth is stranger than fiction could ever be. My name incense is truly an elixir of life everlasting.

Footnote:

[1] The candle I used was a black taper (not shown).

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