Two Streams, One Winding Line Of Consciousness

כ"ז בטבת תשס"ח
Grael 28

This Shabbat, the black wax of my main ritual candle was cut quickly and completely down one side like a river cut into the wax (as the deep melted pool of wax drained from around the wick, see graphic, click to enlarge) to the candle holder (over 1-2 inches depending on the perspective of timeline) by the very high radically jumping and leaping flame connected to the wick’s fire. It happened so fast that I only noticed it as the melted black wax was already pouring down the side of my altar. The flame was so unusually high-jumping (I’d estimate it reached 6-9 inches at times), it was so furiously energetic, that I had put it out with a candle snuffer lest it reach over and catch fire the cloth which covered my crystal ball. After putting out the potential fire hazard, I stuck a fingertip into the melted, still warm but cooling, wax on the side of my altar cloth. I’m not sure why I did this. I just did it. I wanted to know the feel of the wax. What was the story it had to tell?

I read a bit of my new book, The Spirit Cord (whose esoteric disciplines I have begun to practice already), before going to sleep.

Following these things, Shabbat night I dreamt.

There was a pervasive catastrophe that devastated the area that included the city of Danville. The devastation bringing death concentrated east (tiferet) of Vermilion Street (which cuts through the center of the downtown business district in Danville). The raging torrent of a mighty river came with the devastating energy, flowing north (gevurah) to south (chesed) down Vermilion Street. Vermilion Street formed the “bed” (choshen mishpat) of the raging river which separated between the camp of life (located on the western side) and the camp of death (located on the eastern side).

Initially in the dream, my children and I lived on the eastern side where the death energy was beginning to concentrate. To escape it, we had to go west (yesod) and across the raging river. Unlike the Ba'al Shem Tov (who used a secret knowledge of Divine Names), I simply gathered up (enfolding involutionary stream) my children, who took the forms of a neutral colored slippery little earth-worm and a leather shoulder bag (like a Benjamin's bag) with a matching leather shoulder strap. I could easily and safely carry these forms with me across the raging river to safety. Before starting across the raging river, as I was about to tell the little earthworm form to get into a clear protective sandwich baggie (so it wouldn’t slip out of my grip as I carried it in the raging water), the little worm did it automatically as if it knew instinctively what it should do or what I was going to tell it. I had dipped the baggie into the river water so that it also contained a manageable amount of water to keep the worm wet and hydrated. As soon as I had done this and/or as I was doing it (simultaneously – tohu - yet distinctly in order - tikun) the worm entered into the clear baggie, which I carried in my hand. Similarly, the leather strapped-purse placed itself/was placed by me upon my shoulder.

Now my family and others who were walking with me toward safety stood together on the eastern bank of the raging river that was Vermilion Street, in the downtown business district. I was going to lead our little band across the raging river. I told everyone to walk carefully, not quickly, and to “feel out” each step each took “for him or herself” as they followed my footsteps across the raging river. They were to feel first before committing a foot to “stepping down” on the floor of the riverbed. The torrential churning current could wipe out the ground underwater and create a hole in the riverbed at any moment between individual steps. I explained, if a new hole arose, they were to take an alternate step than the one I took. "Don’t just step there because I did. See,” I said, feeling a new hole in the riverbed as I “felt” my own way as I started across, “here is a hole, and I am not stepping here (where my foot had originally been directed underneath the water and where those who followed could not see the redirection of my footstep in the churning water).” They indicated they understood. Carrying my children in easy-to-carry forms, one as a slippery worm in a river water-containing plastic baggie and two as the strap and bag of a leather purse, I continued through it, carefully feeling each step of the way. Many others followed my example across the raging river in one long winding single line (this is relevant to the purchase my besom yesterday morning, to the unbroken chain - mi'Sinai - of esoteric transmission, and to messianic consciousness) that extended from beyond the eastern (where death was concentrating in the dream) horizon behind me, across the river and onto the western shore.

I soon stepped centrally upon the western bank of the raging river to safety, as did all those behind me who had followed and were still (on the eastern side of the river) coming to join the “winding line” connected to a proven safe journey out of the camp of death and into the camp of life. I sat down for a moment to rest my aching (but not hurt) left hip muscle that had borne the primary portion of the burden of the workload of making it across.

As my children and I rested there, we “unwrapped” (unfolding evolutionary stream) ourselves in the atmosphere of safety on the western shore. I recognized an acquaintance (no form of any particular person I know in real life) sitting to the north of me who had also made it across the raging river. He appeared emotionally at a loss. Recognizing me as well, he got up from where he was sitting and walked over to me. He told me he had lost his family in the catastrophe and was alone. We reached out to one another simultaneously and placed our hands on the other’s opposite shoulders in a comforting gesture. Then, we leaned forward and touched our foreheads together, also a comforting gesture.

I woke up.