Oskapt - Fire and Ice

On a forum I frequent, it was asked:

In The Saga of the Volsungs translated by Jesse L. Byock there is an interaction where Sigurd said: "What is the name of that island where Surt and the Aesir will mix together their blood?" Fafner answered: "It is called Oskapt, the uncreated." Does anyone have any insight into Oskapt?

This is an interesting idea - I like to speculate about interesting ideas.

Google translates oskapt as "terrible." I've also seen the word translated as "unshapen" and seeming derivatives of the word are associated with the idea of something which may not be of the normatively experienced natural worlds (that is, "unnatural") - so, oskapt may refer to a deeper or alternative level of nature which precedes mental, psychological or material constructions. In other mystical systems (from my learning as a kabbalist primarily), "terrible" often is a term applied to a level of Being "above" (in terms of extension into manifest reality) the created worlds, a correspondence which is in agreement with the Germanic ideas of some place which is both "uncreated" and "terrible." In kabbalah, the "terrible" universe is called atzilut, or universe of divine emanation from which creation is forthspoken via utterance, then shaped and then made manifest. Taking the correspondence further, it may be that the "place" of oskapt corresponds to some high unmanifest place from which that which is to become manifest first comes forth, if that makes sense. It's interesting to me the the word oskapt could be divided into "os" ("mouth") and "kapt" (or West Germanic Dutch "kopt", a form of koppen - like German "kopf") which can pertain to both the head in general (and to the crown of the head more specifically), making "oskapt" pertain to the "mouth of the head" - this is congruent with the idea of forthspeaking.

So, it seems to me that this island "Oskapt" may refer to a "place" within the Folksoul within which we all mix with one another as a unified community before extending out as individuals (or tribal families of individuals like soul families) into created reality.

Another interesting correspondence is that in kabbalah, the "terrible" place is also called the place of "terrible ice" (despite that it exists in the fiery Universe of Atzilut), so Oskapt may also be an "island" of "Niflheim within Muspelheim" in Germanic cosmology.

A Cherub Sans Sword

In follow-up to my previous entry (Bestowing Abundance), where I discussed the appearance of the shefa of Yesod surrounding this evening's supermoon full moon, it should be also noted (as Wiki informs us) that "the archangel of this sphere [Yesod] is Gabriel, and the Cherubim is the Angelic order." In Jewish mystical tradition (as Mystical paths informs us), the Cherubim are associated with the revolving sword of consciousness which prevents re-entrance into the Garden of Eden:

The sword that prevents us entering freely into our own deeper levels of con­cen­tration and understanding is created and strength­ened by mis­de­mean­our, moral or religious errors. Thus, con­versely, moral purity, as described by the Torah and Masters, can less­en or even remove this sword.

Importantly, according to the Zohar (as Kabbalah Online informs us), the magickal Hebrew letter associated with a sword of the Cherubim, that is, the sword of judgment, is the Hebrew letter vav (ו):

The vav is the body of the sword, the six directions of the world ...

The power which showed its face in my world tonight was the hand of the Cherubim (as opposed to the sword of the Cherubim).


The Encyclopedia of Angels informs us about the hands of the Cherubim:

Their hands are under their wings and their feet are covered by their wings; they have horns of glory upon their heads.

Sounds alot my artistic photographic rendition of tonight's supermoon (see picture) - I've got got a cherub here tonight sans sword.

Waves of the Sea

כ״ד באדר תשע"ב
Keowulf 27
Alder 1

Alot of interesting synchronicites converge on this day.

FIRST, I dreamt last night (well, actually this morning) of the sea rising up on the coast where, in the dream, I was. The sea rose up as a mighty tidal wave roaring toward the land, wiping out everything in its path. Well, not everything exactly.

I was in a big building on the shore by the sea with a small group of people. To avoid the destruction of the building and to prevent floodwaters from entering the building and drowning all of us, I and another person, held a large sheet of white material across the open doorway (which had no door). We two held the white material across the doorway at very specific places which we intuited to be the only places where holding the sheet across the doorway could protect us. It didn't matter that the sheet flapped open in the air every other place where the sheet was not being held by us. Holding it as we did, where we did, kept the building standing intact and unbreached by the floodwaters of the tidal wave as it rolled in across the land and submerged the building under the sea. The tidal wave came over the land, submerging in the sea water my group's building and everything outside it. The wave rolled past and the sea retreated, but we knew another tidal wave was coming.

This time, we knew that covering the door was not the needed action to protect us. This time, I and the other person from the group stood at the glass window which faced the sea as we looked out of it. We turned our backs against the window, looking into the room of the building. We just knew the action to do to protect us from being drowned by the sea wave and to keep the building standing against the might of the wave rolling in. My child ran up to us as we stood with our backs against the window, waiting for the rising sea and its tidal wave to reach the land. I grabbed my child up in my arms and set the child down in front of me, turning also the child's back to the window in alignment with ours as we stood strong against the onslaught of the sea. Now there were at least 3 of us standing guard in opposition to the massive sea wave - myself, a man and a child. The wave came, covered over the building, and moved on as the sea again retreated from the land.

We went outside the building and saw all of the destruction, but our building still stood despite being being struck twice by tidal waves which had deeply covered and swept over it. We knew another wave was going to come, we worried another strike by the tidal wave might be more than the building could withstand despite our protective actions, and we wondered if we should try to run to the highlands to escape it or stay put in our building - we didn't know if we had time to make it to higher ground before the next tidal wave struck.

I am quickly losing memory of this part of the dream, but there was a building structure near me outside which I specifically observed and took note of in my line of sight, and I also remember that the prophet had said something once to me about two days (not directly about the building or the tidal wave, but in riddles), and while I can't remember the exact words, the prophet had spoken of these days in such way that I knew that the building would still be standing for at least two more days from that day (in the dream), as the prophet had spoken of the building's presence (in the prophecy) on a day two days into the future (and a day without tidal waves) from the day (in the dream). I knew that no matter how many waves hit our building, the building would withstand it, as it had at least two more days left of Presence in the world - the prophet had seen and spoken in note of our building when speaking of a day two days into the future. The waves would not last for two days into the future (I just knew this as a matter of fact), so we decided to stay in the building to ride out the rest of the waves until they subsided. I woke up.

SECOND, later this afternoon, my mom called me to watch an old black and white movie about to start on television which she thought I'd like. I got up from my computer and went to watch the sweet film - A Portrait of Jenny. Simply wow, on so many levels. It's a love story about an artist and a Fae woman - a woman (his timeless soul mate throughout all time) he never had the opportunity to meet in real (current) life because she had died from a TIDAL WAVE before they had met in his current life. Nevertheless, she found him. (I hadn't told my mom about my dream before the movie at all.)

THIRD, after watching the movie, I came back to my computer to write of these two synchronicities, but decided to check out the posts on some of the blogs I haunt before beginning with the task of writing my own blog post. Interestingly, one of them has written today, "the WAVES are great" in Australia down under.

My universe is today talking all about great waves. And one thing the universe is telling me is to not worry about any of the waves which may come, because I will still be standing after the waves are all long gone.



The full movie:

Darkness & Light in Witchcraft & Kabbalah

ה׳ בשבט תשע"ב
Imbolgen 7
Rowan 9

Through my Etsy shoppe (WITCHCRAFTS Artisan Alchemy™), I often receive inquiries regarding magic and metaphysical concepts. One I recently received sought an understanding of darkness and evil. I will share my response to that inquiry here with my blog friends as well - In my tradition, darkness does not equal evil. There is good in both darkness and light, just as there is banefulness in both light and darkness. The goal of my tradition is to clarify and raise both the light and the darkness to a higher vibration (so to speak) and to transform both forms together into an evolved energy that is greater than either light or darkness as each exists alone (each at their own untransformed level). Yes, it is dangerous to embrace one's darkness, but it can be equally dangerous to become unbalanced with light in an effort to strangle the darkness. One good writer who explains the good/baneful polarities of both darkness and light is Konstatinos. Here is a link to his book Nocturnal Witchcraft: Magick After Dark (which discusses these ideas about darkness and light in traditional Witchcraft) for more information.

Please visit my shoppe's FB page and "Like" it if you like this.

Blood Vessel

כ״ט בכסלו תשע"ב
Grael 2

In follow-up to my previous entry (Yuletide Sky Riders - A Symphony of Light and Shadow), I had a second dream last night, early this morning.

Suddenly, a man grabbed my wrist, cut into my wrist where the main artery is located, and pulled out a web of four blood vessels. At first I thought I'd surely die from this, but I didn't. The man brought the four webbing blood vessels together and joined them together into one blood vessel, fixing my blood circulation problem. He then tucked the single joined blood vessel back into my wrist and closed it up.

I woke up.

And a river went out (וְנָהָר יֹצֵא) of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became four heads. [Genesis 1:10]

"A river went out" (נָהָר יֹצֵא) may also be translated as "light emerged" and "light emanated."

And the name of my own four "blood rivers" are Celtic, Norse, Jewish and Native American. And I am a unified vessel fit for the Ancestors.

Sacred Magic - Awen and the Seal of Solomon

כ״א בכסלו תשע"ב
Shamash 23

My design of a two Celtic Druidic Awen symbols (one upward, one downward) which when brought together, form the mystical magical Seal of Solomon. Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit, Goddess-Consciousness.

It is written in The Pillars of Tubal Cain [by Nigel Jackson and Michael Howard who posit that *Solomon's Temple was constructed as a Goddess Shrine*], "It is said that the temple [of Solomon] was not built by human hands because allegedly a mysterious worm or serpent-like creature called the Shamir carved out and cut the stones. Other stories say that Solomon enlisted supernatural help to build it in the form of elemental servitors he conjured using his powers as a magician."

Interestingly, about 15 years ago, I wrote a mystic poem about the *Shamir*. Like my earlier poems, this one also describes one of my preincarnate memories of truly magical, experiential consciousness.

SHAMIR, DI-VISIONS OF THE NIGHT

first rhythms ever plunge, eternal hosts driven into life
drawing through a field of topographic brilliance
where judgment lovingly flows, churning out whole stones
resting against asymmetries trying, like diamonds in chaos
proto-perception foams, over annihilating operations
and from it, dark bursts of lucidity finely entwine
coarse grains of almost something, almost yet sufficient
the silent rush of yet nothing slides, wildly as percolating pivots
diligently thread through it, casting clarity
upon myriads, hard pauses startle into vision
projecting arrays without mass, strings of confluency
impressing discovery, a shadowy tail-end lingers
between depths of opposite observation
iterating embraces of many meanings like quasi-quanta
gathering functions about the head and, and
spinning spectra, pushing forward, yearning toward home
not knowing, yet only knowing
as some featureless reach edging edges stretches out
the magnetic sweet dance
where divisions collapse like crystal caves
softly sprinkling the belly of the night divine
with bytes of thoughtbare kisses
extending the glorious field of apprehension

Shamir in the magical Hebrew alphabet is a word deriving from the root שמר which means generically to protect and to distance from danger. The root drawn out into a word specifically meaning "divisons of the night" is found in the ancient Hebrew sacred book of Exodus [14:24], where it is written "and it came to pass in the DIVISIONS OF THE NIGHT, that Deity looked forth ..." Consequently, taking all this together, we can easily see that SHAMIR indeed pertains Goddess consciousness and to the Creative Force of AWEN She bestows.

The Hebrew correspondence to Celtic AWEN is HASHRA'AH.

Related entry - Sacred Sorceress Soy Pillar Candle

Mysteries of Kohelet and Traditional Witchcraft

ט״ז בכסלו תשע"ב
Shamash 18

That which has been is that which shall be, and that which has been done is that which shall be done; and there is nothing new under the sun. [from the ancient Hebrew Wisdom Literature, Kohelet 1:9]

In follow-up note to my previous two entries (Karma and Reincarnation in Traditional Witchcraft and Matzah Consciousness), Kabbalah teaches (Anthony Kosinec lecture) that “there is nothing new under the sun,” and that:

any event that will occur in our world, is not existence from absence, but rather existence from existence. It is an entity that has stripped off its former shape, and taken on another, different from the first

in the melting pot of Ceridwen's Cauldron as taught similarly in Traditional Witchcraft. Kabbalah also teaches that:

... the essence is called “the basis.” It is called “Matza.” It is the essential, basic material that we are created from. It is something that the Creator made from nothing; it is existence from non-existence, something from nothing. That essence, that Matza or basis, which is pure information ... we see that the essence is not controlled in any way by the dressing. It’s something that can dress or undress into new forms of life. Now, if we can begin to see that same system working in regards to our level then we can begin to see what is occurring and to be able to direct what is occurring [see A Stable Combination], we may be able to find a point by which we actually have some kind of choice in the process. This basis, this Matza, consists of the origin and the mentality of all of our ancestors ...

and from here we are intimately and essentially linked to, and may access all the Knowledge, Experience and Wisdom of our Ancestors.

Matzah Consciousness

ט״ז בכסלו תשע"ב
Shamash 18

In follow up to my previous post discussing the teachings of Traditional Witchcraft on subjects such as karma and reincarnation (which differ from the beliefs of many if not most neo-Pagans), here is a pentalpha of five poems (selected from many) I wrote (probably about 15 or more years ago during a concentrated Bardic/Psalmist phase upon my path as a magically inclined witch mystic) which relate to the Celtic idea (and teaching of Traditional Witchcraft) of climbing out of the Cauldron of Ceridwen and to being a Being WHOLE of CONSCIOUSNESS. Notably and relevant to my path as a Traditional Witch, these poems support the idea that the consciousness making up me in the life I am currently experiencing is a Stably Whole combination of elemental consciousness. Moreover, the stable unique elemental consciousness of being making up me indeed is so stable, IT REMEMBERS it's own coming together as an individual, namely me, even while existing within the Cauldron of Ceridwen. Also importantly, my experiences of memory further support that **I** in a state of Pure Wholistic Consciousness participated in the unique creation of my own personal individuality. I share these poems and my experiences to share the reality and Truth of the Teaching of Traditional Witchcraft:

A STABLE COMBINATION (a preincarnate memory of existence, originally published under the title A DANCE OF OUTLIERS)

asymmetries oscillating iterating disequilibrium
rushing in circuits of fluctuation imperfectly, perfect!
exotic attractors embedding the spinning critical magnetism
stretching out and considering, yet thoughtbare
projecting and collapsing, gathering with distance, yet near
trying and trying in motionless motion
extending apprehension, passing over, passing under, all around
tying knots of charged connection binding quanta of stops
concentrating conjunctions, strengthening two by two, yes and no
drawing out distinctions of uniqueness, outliers in some quantum time
establishing eccentricities, coagulating singularities
against the rhythm, making discretions
wavelets of indeterminate interval, itty bytes
contracting, constructing, expanding the matrix of translation
reproducing intensity superposing virtual phases of doing ... what
stringing a river of elucidating brilliance responding
to the essential siren current of the one opposite reflection
intercalating delights, perturbing stones of memory
driving the tug dancing between ignorance and knowing
exchanging a mystery, mysterious mysterious, inside out
curling across fields, and between, from some side
end against end, propagating the dynamic
wrestling the source toward convergence
in the matter

CAULDRON CONSCIOUSNESS (a preincarnate memory of existence, originally published under the title CAULDRON)

forged without calculation
reverberating with eternal essence, the lifeforce
brewing namelessly under the nostrils, purifying recognition
some thoughtbare combination, a tasty transformation
within a witch's cauldron, over colorless flames darkly
simmering a stew of primeval mysteries
including everything, yet nothing yet
percolating in silence, an utterly female science
patiently pivoting tongs stirring that connection
deliciously delightful
singly unique
sustaining completely, from the timeless time to come
turning history
without equivocation

ESSENTIAL AND TRUE (a preincarnate memory of existence, originally published under the title METAMORPHOSIS)

immutable
cast through a river of fire
eternally reverberating impressions orienting
into time
something essential, something true
blended together as one
igniting with life
a metamorphosis divine
some celestial darkness into endless light

CREATURE OF THE NIGHT ETERNAL (a preincarnate memory of existence)

deep deep complete
creature of the night eternal
a touch divine, a bit insane, off the edge
plunging into a cutting clarity
relentless, wild
stark and undistorted
without echo, raw tradition
a serpent song, a scorpion tale
thirsting inside out, like a finger of the endless
casting kisses
from the heart of the dark

DARK DIVINE (a preincarnate memory of existence)

neverending streams
of some humble brilliance
expressing a human tale
of the dark divine
now
here
as wonders run to life
through this tapestry of night casting kisses
of endless light
oh! how the heights envy
the depths of darkness breathing with the glory
of one perfect peace

Stunning Golden Measures Which Regulate

כ״ה בתמוז תשע"א
Faunus 27

In follow-up to previous posts (Ner Tamid, Travellers' Sphere of Protection, Goldener Apfel) on this blog and my shoppe blog, I note that just a few days ago, during the infamous Three Weeks, it was announced that an ancient Golden Bell from the Kohen Gadol's garment was excavated near the wall of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem (HT - Mystical Paths for pointing this out today).

This is interesting, given the announcement's synchronicity with my new Golden Candles (see first line end-links above) and the fact that the priestly Golden Bells are associated specifically with a Kohen Gadol embarked upon a traveling expedition (see first line middle link above).

Usually translated as 'a Golden Bell,' the Hebrew phrase פַּעֲמֹן זָהָב may alternatively be translated as 'a Golden Metronome.' The word metronome derives from Greek metron (meaning 'measure') and nomos (meaning 'regulating'). The Hebrew word from which both translations (bell and metronome) derive comes from the shoresh פעם which can mean several things, including 'stunning' and 'to surge' (emotionally or psychically). Certainly, my Golden Candles are beautifully stunning and surge with mystically magical emotive fire.

Also, in synchronicity, the Hebrew Torah phrase not only mentions "Stunning Golden Measures which Regulate," but also, the next phrase in the Torah text following "a golden bell" is וְרִמּוֹן - "and a pomegranate" - a new candle set also posted on my shoppe blog the same day as the Golden Apple, see my stunning Midnight Pomegranate votives and tapered pillar here and here.

So, synchronicities keep piling up.

New Perspective

י״ז בתמוז תשע"א
Faunus 19

In follow-up to earlier posts (Confronting Demons Starting Years Ago and Victory Over Death), perhaps my perspective now is that it was a good thing that his attention was not focused on me at that particular time in the experience of my Being. Had it been otherwise, perhaps I would have been happy to stay where I was, where death would have surely reached me. In being "thrown down", I lived.

Victory Over Death

י״ז בתמוז תשע"א
Faunus 19

In follow-up to my earilier post Confronting Demons Starting Years Ago, a friend of mine informed me that in traditional sources, Keteb is spelled in Hebrew using the Hebrew letters קטב instead of the Hebrew letters כתב (the letters I had chosen to use to describe my connection with Keteb Meriri in my post). Though the two spellings sound alike, they do not mean the same thing.

The shoresh קטב means to die an unexpected death, while the shoresh כתב pertains to writing, reporting, and engraving. Both sets of Hebrew letters can be pronounced keteb, but the latter set כתב describes my experience while the former set קטב does not.

In my poem, I am concerned with rewriting my story to a good, indeed a very good, outcome. This fact is described by the shoresh כתב. Moreover, following this preincarnate experience, though death was trying to reach me (as clearly evident in the words of the poem), I was nevertheless born, alive - in other words, I became a Living Breathing Being. Consequently, the very act of being born transformed the Keteb name root from being קטב to כתב, making my victory over Keteb Meriri a double victory - a victory over both bitterness and death. My first victory occurred even before I was born.

Myrrh, My Totem Resin

י״ז בתמוז תשע"א
Faunus 19

In follow-up to my previous post (Confronting Demons Starting Years Ago), I note that from the shoresh מור is also derived the word for myrrh (מֹר), making myrrh my totem resin, so to speak. Significantly, myrrh is also the totem resin of Goddess/the Sacred Feminine in Celtic Paganism and Witchcraft.

Confronting Demons Starting Years Ago

י״ז בתמוז תשע"א
Faunus 19

First the background - from several sources (including Mystical Paths and Daily Halacha) we learn about the demon Keteb Meriri:

The Shulhan Aruch was written as a strictly Halachic code, rarely includes Kabbalistic concepts in presenting Halachic guidelines. Yet, the Shulhan Aruch writes that during the three weeks one should not go outdoors to partially shady areas between the fourth and ninth hours (referring to Halachic hours) of the day (approximately 9:30am – 3:30pm) due to the demon “Keteb Meriri”, when this demon is most threatening. He adds that during this period, parents should make a point not to hit their children, and teachers should likewise refrain from smacking students, in order to avoid risks.

The Midrash Shoher Tob (Tehillim 91) speaks about a dangerous “demon” called “Keteb Meriri” that is covered with scales and hair, has eyeballs all over its body, and sees from the eye situated on its chest. It generally resides in areas that are partly sunny and partly shady, and moves by rolling like a ball. Anyone who comes near this demon, the Midrash comments, exposes himself to great danger. The Midrash in fact relates that there were schoolchildren who suffered harm as a result of “Keteb Meriri.” It is specifically during the three weeks of between Shiba Asar Be’Tamuz and Tisha B’Ab, the Midrash teaches, that this harmful spirit surfaces and poses danger.

The Midrash tells the story of Rabbi Abahu who saw a teacher with a branch ready to hit an unruly student. Rabbi Abahu sharply condemned the teacher, noting that “Keteb Meriri” was standing right behind him with an iron rod, ready to strike. This story shows the dangers of administering any type of corporal punishment during this period, when we are exposed to the dangers of “Keteb Meriri.”

For the same reason, one should refrain from unnecessary travel during the three weeks. Hacham Ovadia Yosef writes that the rule during this period is “Ashreh Yoshebeh Betecha” – “Fortunate are those who dwell in Your home,” meaning, it is far preferable to remain at home rather than travel. Children, especially, must be supervised very carefully during the three weeks so they are protected from danger. Although it is customary to allow recreational trips and swimming during this period, extra care must be taken to ensure safety. In particular, one must not travel alone, in a deserted area, between the fourth and ninth hours of the day – approximately 9:30am-3:30pm – during the three weeks, because of the danger posed by the “demons” which roam freely at that time. This refers only to deserted area; it is certainly permissible to travel to a city alone during these hours.

The Aruch Ha’shulhan cites authorities who limit this Halacha to uninhabited areas, such as forests and the like. Inside a city, however, the presence of many people, as well as the presence of Mezuzot on the doorposts, offers a degree of protection from this harmful spirit.

On one level, this restriction essentially renders this Halacha practically irrelevant nowadays, when we usually spend our time in towns, cities and other inhabited areas. Nevertheless, this Halacha demonstrates the importance of avoiding danger during this three-week period and keeping a “low profile,” as this period is particularly suited for mishaps and calamity, Heaven forbid.

Second, evidence for some past life - preincarnate confrontation with Keteb Meriri exists within a poem (Dark Torah) I wrote a long time ago describing a pre-incarnate vision remembrance which occurred before I was born:

from the mind inscribed before time in a dreamlike primeval existence
before my life began, at your side, I loved you
set before seeing, witnessing the violent play of creation
rising jagged with twisting thorns ascending toward there
wild and fierce the bloody storm from below, a churning pit of cold fire and coal
dripping with pain torn from earth, cutting edges
raging from a lawless horror, a terror untamed upon the earth
spreading as a plague coming near with powerful fury, iterating screams
reverberating with dysrhythm, the battering melody shattering the noise of silence
in agony melding together, into a cyclone of spiraling shrill despair
hopeless, the sound of an inky blackness, line upon line writing
a writhing scroll, twisted with affliction, death and blood everywhere
below the colorlessness of the sanctuary where I stood, immobile in the sight
testifying, not forgotten, revealing some wordless cry of terror
embedding beyond the throat, becoming chained in the belly
burning my world, descending into the hallowed depths of my heart
with no way to restrain it, its direction of attraction
toward me the knife came to cut
please see me! I am here! I cried without sound - to you as you watched it climb up
as you watched it climb up with some curious, strange fascination
not seeing me, or disregarded, either way, outside your direction of attention
as the rabid destruction erupted up the wall, and all I could do to escape the blade
becoming broken, I turned away, pulling myself in ... only to be thown away
thrown down, as a coarse grain into the only history I ever knew, and I know
what you did, throwing me down to be ripped apart, for those who would destroy me
why do you hate me - still you don't see me, you don't hear me, and you don't care
try as I might to rewrite the story, I cannot forget the truth
and some things can never be fixed

Third, the demon Keteb Meriri in Hebrew is written כתב מרירי.

The word keteb (כתב) means to "write", "written works", "script", "compose", "author (written works)", "reporter", "engrave", "address (someone)", "copy", and to "add someone as a recipient". The vowelized pronunciation keteb most directly refers to the meanings "to address; to copy, to add someone as a recipient ; and (biblical) to engrave".

The word meriri (מרירי) can mean either "bitter" or "bittersweet", assuming we accept that the word meriri derives from the shoresh (Hebrew root) מרר. However, as it is with the human condition, we have the choice to not accept things as they are and to choose an alternative root path, to choose our reality, and to create our future reality.

For instance, it is clear in my pre-incarnate memory that I was shown a very bitter reality and much of my life has indeed been bitter (as just about anyone who has ever met me is so well aware of this that I need to link no evidence). My vision as I initially experienced it was from the perspective of the shoresh מרר. But, as an Eternal Being with choice, I can also choose to see that my vision was also experienced from the initially hidden but now revealed perspective of the shoresh מור. My vision (seeing eye) was from a point of connection with Keteb Meriri in a liminal place "partially sunny and partially shady" (a conscious place of proto-physical existence) and "situated in the chest" in the "letter of connection", namely Vav (ו). Consequently, it is indeed also my reality that I experienced this preincarnate vision in the emerging light of the shoresh מור. Why is this important? Because the shoresh מור means to "exchange", "transform" and "change fate".

Fourth, rewriting the story and changing fate. When I wrote my poem describing my preincarnate experience, I had tried to change my fate and to rewrite my story several times over the course of my life - failing every time to manifest my desire for a good outcome. When I wrote the poem, though still operating under the influence of the shoresh מרר, I believe the very act of writing the poem honestly, without lying about its ugliness and without untrue beautifications, exchanged in the act the shorashim, transforming the operative root in my life from מרר to מור, enabling me to transform my life and to rewrite my story. In writing the poem honestly, I effectively "called out" Keteb Meriri to confrontation with me, Me.

My life has not been bitter for several years now. Honoring my Ancestors, and with loving wholehearted acceptance incorporating the Pagan aspects of my Being into the reality of my life were very instrumental in revealing deep joy in my life and to achieving a successful outcome to the confrontation with the demon Keteb Meriri. I am a Jewitch and I have done it.

Fifth, Ancestral Talismans for Successful Confrontation:

TOR Talisman CELTIC WITCH Charm Bottle Necklace with 13 Traditional Celtic Ethnobotanicals

TORAH Talisman JEWISH WITCH Charm Bottle Necklace with 13 Traditional Jewish Ethnobotanicals

WYRD WORKER Perthro Runic Talisman NORDIC Witch Bottle Necklace for Turning and Influencing the Karmic Primal Layers of Reality

Safe House III - The Bird's Nest

כ״ג באייר תשע"א
Mab 25

In follow-up to my previous two safe house dreams (I and II), yesterday nature added another voice on the matter as well. A pair of robins began building a bird's nest over the porch light where I live. Today the nest is complete and has the rounded cup form (on top of the porch light lid) of a typical nest. It seems this family of robins think I live in a safe house too, so they are making their home over the porch light right by the back door. Even our frequent going in and out of this much used door has not deterred them from building their nest over the back porch light.

Perhaps the black goddess (known as Sara-la-Kali~Sara by the Gypsies), who is intimately involved with weather magic and nature, and whose sacred pilgrimage to the sea occurred on May 24th (perhaps when the water of the sea was released as I subsequently dreamt in the May 25th Safe House dream), called out to them as well and told these two robins to build their Safe Nest on my home.

Clearly, no coincidence. The Divine in both it's male (the bird's nest connection) and female aspects (the sea/ocean/weather/nature connection) is involved in this matter of my dreams and the link of my dreams to natural occurrences.

Also in related note, the evening of the 24th (the night of the black goddess Gypsy pilgrimage to the sea and the night before the 25th dream) I was having a problem getting to sleep due to coming and going twisting muscle 'chest pains' (not usual for me) which were ultimately relieved only by taking stress-relieving Lorazepam (as I had discussed with a friend of mine the next morning). About 1/2 hour after taking the Lorazepam, I felt a 'pop' (in correspondence to the dam 'breaking' in my subsequent Safe House dream that very night) in my chest which immediately relieved all the tenseness in my body, including the chest pains. The sudden popping relief of stress and the subsequent pain relief which rushed over my body like water are relevant to my recent dreams and actual happenings of nature.

Safe House II - The Pardes Parable

כ״ג באייר תשע"א
Mab 25

Early last week I dreamt of the beginnings of a flood and my escape to my safe house. Last night, I had another flood dream:

I was at home with my family. It was raining heavily outside. From inside the house, I heard the sound of something like a dam breaking outside. Suddenly, oceans of water came flooding the land outside from the south. Our entire house was engulfed underwater like being at the bottom of an ocean. But miraculously, no water came into the house and the house stood firm upon its foundations, not moving or buckling at all as it was completely covered over by the rushing waters. We rode out the deluge in peace, safely tucked away inside our home.

When the waters subsided, we went outside. Everything around us looked like the area of Joplin Missouri where a recent monster tornado destroyed neighborhoods for as far as the eye could see. Everything around our house had been similarly destroyed - everything that is but our yard and our house. Ours alone came out as it had entered.

As soon as I wrote the last line above describing my dream, it struck me that this is exactly how it is described in the story about the four who entered the mystical Pardes, where Rabbi Akiva exited as he had entered - in peace. Interestingly, water, like in my flood dreams, is an important element in the Pardes parable as well.

The Witch-Kabbalist

ז' ברמחשון תש"ע
Phasma Priscus 8

Last night, I dreamt.

At the end of the dream, I and some of the members of my team were inside a deep cave system whose entrance was closed to the general population of the area by thick metal-rock many-layered door with a secret magical lock and key combination. I knew the key-lock combination and where it was located in a hidden formation of the rock's walls. I had taken a few of us inside.

Our diverse group was different than the rest of the general populace in the area - like we were ancient travelers and outcasts who had come together as a group, settled and integrated among the locals, but who had each (clan or family or individual) still retained its unique distinction in some way. We were all unique from one another, but had been brought together by some unique and mutually recognized commonality as well. Once inside the cave system, a whole new secret community was revealed. One family among our group was Arabic. They had a light-haired family dog with them that the locals found annoying and wanted to get rid of, so their dog was brought inside the cave for protection as well.

Hunters from the general population, who had a clue that we were somehow different, too different for them to tolerate, were trying breach our cave. I began preparing my part of our defense.

I began melting quartz crystals with a special high-powered torch I had in my hand. The quartz was melting like clear-white candle wax into my collection pan.

I woke up.

Wiki on melting quartz crystals:

Fused quartz is manufactured by melting naturally occurring quartz crystals of high purity at approximately 2000°C, using either an electrically heated furnace (electrically fused) or a gas/oxygen-fuelled furnace (flame fused). Fused quartz is normally transparent.

Fused quartz can also form naturally. The naturally occurring form is usually referred to as Metaquartzite and is formed under metamorphic conditions. An increase in heat causes the crystals within the quartz to become fused together.

Along with the association of quartz crystal as the 'envelope' through which the long-life high brightness of halogen lamps is made, are its associations with metamorphic conditions, a low extinction rate, high thermal shock resistance, resistance to cracking under conditions of rapid and large thermal change, sheathing electric elements, fiber-optic communications, information storage and transmission, energy amplification and focus, and as a substrate for projection masks for photolithography.

Quartz also has the ability to split light into a spectrum. Through its use as an oscillator or resonator, quartz crystal is clearly associated with Hod (the reverberating sefirah as named by my Jewish ancestors which gives energy form) and sekhel shalem (perfect whole consciousness, original arrangement, sustained growth, balanced knowledge and mind, a magical-mystical adept, a kabbalist). Grian cloch is the Irish term my Irish-Celtic ancestors gave to quartz and means 'stone of the sun'. Meta-language and language wholistically as one is key to the mystery of form given by Hod. In my experience, given to me by my Germanic ancestors, uruz is now known as the rune of the sun. Given to me in the shamanic tradition of my Native American ancestors, quartz crystal is now my shaman stone of the sun.

The Tzohar Book

י'ד בתשרי תש"ע
Blodlessing 15

In follow-up to the flashback dream scene with a pregnant woman in it seeking help as described in Heikhalot, The Nine-Tenths Gate, last night, I dreamt.

A newborn baby was severely ill and I brought her before the doctor. The doctor looked at the baby whose face and head were swollen. The woman (me as the "mother" of the baby) said, "my husband thinks it's lethal."

The doctor then pulled out several books, one after the other, off his shelf, as one who is totally involved in researching an interesting problem. He pulled out from among the many books one book in particular he called the Tzohar book (not Zohar, it was made clear in the dream that the book was the Tzohar book, pronounced with a tzadi and not a zayin and it was called the Tzohar book). He studied quickly over many pages, then "erased" some shadowy things somehow along the baby's spine (I saw it and he did it through something like X-ray vision and motion - he could reach into the baby's body like a spirit-being), saying as he did it that "it's not necessarily that bad." I "heard" telepathically that the baby had been "born without the mother's hood", something to the effect that a "special interest had been taken in my case" and something suggesting that the doctor "went back for a cure."

I took a pregnancy test. I was not pregnant.

I woke up.

The Secret Chord

ט' בתשרי תש"ע
Blodlessing 10

In follow-up to earlier entries (Heikhalot, The Nine-Tenths Gate and Shabbat Proclamation - Time Is Gold), my facebook friend Jacek OSTROWSKI shared this treasure with me:



Gathered from the web, the full and complete lyrics to a perfectly imperfect song, Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen:

[[ Now, I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord.
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this,
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof.
You saw her bathing on the roof,
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you.
She tied you
To a kitchen chair.
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair,
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain.
I don't even know the name.
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word.
It doesn't matter which you heard,
The holy or the broken Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah ]]

Baby, I've been here before.
I know this room, I walk this floor.
I used to live alone before I knew you.
Yeah, I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
But listen love, love is not some kind of victory march,
No, it's a cold and it's a very broken Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah ... {Hallelujah}

There was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below.
Ah, but now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you,
The holy dove, she was moving too,
Yes, and every single breath that we drew was Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above,
As for me, all I ever seem to learn from love
Is how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.
Yeah, but it's not a complaint that you hear tonight,
It's not the laughter of someone who's claims to have seen the light,
No, it's a cold and it's a very lonely Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
but I couldn't feel, so I learned to touch.
I've told the truth, I didn't come all this way to fool you.
Yeah, and even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand right here before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Tongue Of Fire

י"ו בסיון תשס"ט
Mab 16

I dreamt.

I was swinging (by something like a cord tether) and flying around a lilac-like bush in the yard. The bush was like the lilac bush I've written about before, but it was not that lilac bush, and it was in an opposite portion of the yard. I was wearing a long beautiful white lace vintage chemise-like gown. It was a bright, sunny early summer perfect day with a fresh smell of newness in the air. The day smelled like days smelled when I was a little girl (although I wasn't a little girl in the dream). The day had vitality.

The impression arose in my mind that there might be insects or a nest of spiders in this particular bush, although I could see none. Even though I could see none, as I encircled the bush several times, the impression of infestation remained and could not be shaken. I decided I should try to move away from this bush. It wasn't exactly my bush (though it appeared to be) - and it was infested with something.

Suddenly, the bush broke in half from where I had been cord tethered to it. The top half flew into the nearby fence while the bottom half remained rooted in the ground. The breaking of the bush released the cord tether (and me with it) from being bound to the infested bush.

Yet, even though I had been released, so too had the structure to which I had been bound been broken. The breaking of the structure also destroyed the hidden structure in which the hidden infestation nested. When all the boughs of the bush broke, the infestation had no place to hide.

I felt a slight impression of movement on my scalp at the top of my crown. The infestation had left the bush I had broken and jumped onto me! I walked over to my father and had him examine my head - did he see them? He told me they looked like little somethings.

So, I went and washed my hair and scalp at the nearest sink in the kitchen. As I began washing it, the swarm tried to escape from being washed off my scalp and down the drain, fleeing in a line onto my beautiful white dress. Oh no you don't - I'd rather be naked than host you! I took off the dress, and with it, off came the entire fleeing swarm.

Stepping out the kitchen door onto the porch as I took off and discarded the dress, I opened my mouth to blow out the 'taste' of any infestation and blew out a long tongue of fire - like a dragon might. But the tongue of fire that I blew out was different from a dragon's in that mine was longer, very focused and more controlled. It looked more like a river of fire energy than a flame of fire. The streaming fire energy had no end, rolling out beyond the horizon. Flames of fire drop back from time to time to their origin of burning, but this tongue of fire did not do that - it kept on going and began dissapating from its origin in me.

I woke up.

The tongue of fire reminded me of the pulsa denura, a harsh yet protective judgment which issues forth to protect the Divine Feminine.

I have no idea where it's going, but two points are certain - the protective judgment has been sent out and it's not coming back to me.

Experience Goddess Centered Kabbalah

י"א אייר תשס"ט
Annwn 12

Introducing the newest addition to my library - Between The Worlds, Witchcraft and the Tree of Life by Stuart Myers.

From back cover - "Witches can now reclaim the Qabalah as a powerful system of magick that readily fits into the practice of Wicca. Drawing upon the fragments of Pagan Qabalah and inspired by the early Hebrew peoples who guided their lives by the cycles of the Moon and Sun, Between The Worlds returns the Qabalah of the Queen of Heaven to the world from out of the shadows of the patriarchy."

See my next post on Divine Feminine Iahu (יאהו), the Sumerian origin of YHVH (יהוה)!