Monday, February 27, 2006

Pele Aut

צברה הצ רב
inside shattered dreams, insight licks the mind
a beautiful mysterious height, the deep deep night
uncoiling brilliance, an endless river of light
like waters to the sea
drawing you to me

Writing On The Wall

what letters can tell
what words are worthy, to hold the story
the melody that plays the heart
softly, gently
fluid lights strumming notes with broken vessels
see it sounding, the silent utterance bursting full
with sweet contentment
what letters can be faithful to this rhythm
making life a monochrome rhapsody of colors
splendors laced with glory wine
waters in motion, behind the echo, echoless, timeless
ever flowing drops into thirsting dust
natural, ineffable light and dark, a breathing harmony
in the eyes of children, in weathered faces
filling up crying places
with hope, real and deeply present
what words are worthy to tell
of these wondrous times

mizbach avanim
otiot, focus & the yetzer hara

Friday, February 24, 2006

Act One

I still hear you everywhere
penetrating a myriad myriads
one thread runs with love through all, always
dynamic yet ever unchanging
your voice calls
silently, riding flames of a holy wind
moving deeply, deeply
cutting like text through the void
casting clarity with letters, footsteps on firm ground
infusing moments destitute of hope
with the taste of our story
written with secret empty places
brilliant embraces of some sweet breath
loosed like a song among knotting quanta
dancing between one and nothing
in it, strings of living stones, piles and piles
one beautiful mess of chaos, exquisitely simple
establishing a united path among the mysteries
for this woman

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Reishit, Firstborn Birthright

Torat Natan 11
lifnei shemesh
chein yenon

the Tablets of Law
which embody the
entire Torah m'Sinai
are six handbreadths
by six handbreadths
Bava Batra 14a

Ashrei t'mimei darekh, who walk with the Torah of G-D ...
Tehilim 119:1

she ma'alah chein upon those who study her ...
yaalat chein ... Eruvin 54b

transformed טפסרט, inscribed Eh-yeh Asher Eh-yeh ...
Rabbah bar bar Chanah

a Torah of Truth, and an embodiment of Emunah ...
Malachi 2:6; Likutey Maharan I 7:1

ever bestowing a guiding light, even when things appear dark and confusing ...
Mai HaNachat

for the light of the moon endures forever, eternally faithful ...
Maharal; Sanhedrin 98b

to the degree that ones accepts the yoke of heaven, is one able to climb the ladder of wisdom to perceive the inner intelligence and G-dliness of everything ...
Mai HaNachat

ראשית ב the first became beit
ראא experiencing
להימא clearly
תה without bound,
שמימו contracting and
אתה coming together
ארצו stably
reishit Bereshit 1:1

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Ner Talmid

it is not
in the heavens
that I should say
who can go up
and get it for me
that I may hear
and observe it
Devarim 30:12

Ner Hashem
Nishmat Adamah

one equal to all
the mitzvot

ki ner mitzvah v'Torah ohr
ראשיתב the first became beit
ראא experiencing
להימא clearly
תה without bound,
שמימו contracting and
אתה coming together
ארצו stably
reishit Bereshit 1:1

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Sha'ar HaRachamim


Yachid (יחיד) is the ultimate origin of the chasidim and the gevurot as they "exist" in Atzmut. This level corresponds to Atik Yomin in Jewish tradition and is the secret of the unhewn dolmen (הח) of ancient Celtic-Druid tradition. The unhewn dolmen is David's secret door to the mysteries behind closed doors, which is the gate - Sha'ar HaRachamim, and the power of a woman.

The Druid symbol for the sacred feminine force (ט) in ancient Celtic tradition is a circle (ס) with two lines (הח) through it. These letters חסה (meaning trust and to look forward with confidence) are the 3-letter root of deep bitachon, and to the ability to complete (שלים) netzach, all orchestrated through true mesirut nefesh (being born ignorant of one's Jewishness) with the steadfast power of woman. Malchut is the lower door (ד). Keter (the flipside of Malchut) is the upper door (ד). Together, they form the gate (ח) which marks (ה) the doors (דד) to Ein Sof and to life. kuzu bemukhsaz kuzu

The Jewish symbol for the sacred masculine force (הו) is the magen David. Like a 5 personality with a 4-wing (which I am, as well as being an INTJ), the two (feminine malchut - masculine keter) symbols unify (הדד <-> הח) and are woven together with 5 letters going to 4 letters (יחוד <-> החודה) through the secret of the unhewn dolmen. In the hands of Malchut (יי נט), through this INTJ (ינטי), is the power to unify two seemingly opposite manifestations of Divine Providence. It's a miracle of nature (נס הטבע) in the truest sense, with the power to transform & heal reality.

4 cubits X 4 cubits X 5 rules [Yoma 11, Sukkah 3b]

The purpose of creation and of our being in it is to integrate the worlds of tohu and tikun into a third order of existence much greater than either tohu or tikun of itself.
Adin Steinsaltz, In The Beginning, Discourses On Chasidic Thought

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Friday, February 03, 2006

Shem Chai

secret of Bereshit 1:1

The Messianic Spark.
The root of the Jewish soul is without blemish [Shir HaShirim 4:7]. כלך יפה רעיתי ומום אין
This is the messianic spark in every Jewish soul, in my soul, as it journeys into life. And this is my story. Ba'aish atah atid livnoto.

RaV Without Blemish. The first letter of written Torah is normally the letter beit. However, if this first beit falls (naphal) backs one space in the samech-cycle of Torah and becomes the last letter in sefer Devarim, the first letter of sefer Bereshit becomes reish, restoring clarity. With clarity restored, through the samekh of the cycle, the power of the birchat kohanim and the power of semichah are also restored, clearly without blemish (מום). For באיש, with fire is it built [Bava Kama 60b].

The beit that falls is rooted in ben, where ben represents the malchut of the ASMaB expansion of the tetragrammaton. Having fallen, the new last letter of Devarim becomes beit. Together, the two letters - the new first letter of Bereshit (ר) and the new last letter of Devarim (ב), reading from Bereshit to Devarim (seder Chesed) spell the word RaV (רב) - and with this, I have made myself a RaV [Avot 1:16]. Even better than that, I have made a RaV without blemish.

RaV is the ezer knegdo to LeV (לב). LeV is how we normally read the first and last letters of Torah (from Devarim to Bereshit, seder Gevurah) in the normal configuration. Now, we can see that the when the beit falls, haLeV of Torah is raised to RaV, and RaV is raised as an ezer knegdo to LeV. As the reish is raised to first place, so too is every letter in Torah raised one space, making reishit Bereshit 1:1 read:

ראשיתב the first became beit
ראא experiencing
להימא clearly
תה without bound,
שמימו contracting and
אתה coming together
ארצו stably

The Bird's Nest. This new configuration of Bereshit 1:1 describes my experience crossing the churning river of fire into existent consciousness. The initial experience of existent consciousness is called the bird's nest. The churning river of fire (nahar dinur) is also the shabbat river, the sambatyon.

Redemptive Chesed. RaV (of seder Chesed) has a gematria of 202. Following the fall of the beit, through raising the letters of the Torah up one space, 202 sparks of holiness are also raised from the galut of mitzrayim. Tradition teaches us that each soul is born with a mission to redeem 288 fallen sparks of holiness entangled in and exiled throughout creation. Of these 288 sparks, 202 of them are specifically associated with the exile of mitzrayim. Thus, within the first flicker of my soul's experience in creation, is the redemptive power to raise these sparks.

Redemptive Gevurah. Having raised 202 sparks, 86 remain. Eighty-six is the gematria of Elo-him, Hashem's Name associated with creation, the sefirah Gevurah, the power to support and raise the fallen, and strict judgment. In the new RaV configuration of Bereshit 1:1 as written above, the Name Elo-him is transformed into the Name להימא . This Name also has a gematria of 86. Consequently, we can see that through this Name, להימא , the remaining 86 sparks scattered throughout creation are raised and redeemed. להימא is Holy Gevurah of Atzilut.

Tikun HaTohu. Elo-him אל-הים is from the 3-letter root הים meaning agitate or creating confusion. Confusion and agitation are created by the mem sofit, which represents hidden wisdom. When wisdom is hidden from and access is closed to the mind, the mind lacks clarity. להימא opens up the mem and channels wisdom and clarity into the mind. This is the tikun of Elo-him in the world of Tohu, from which all the lower worlds (Beriyah, Yetzirah and Assiyah) are derived.

Tikun HaBrit. Now, through להימא, the world of Tikun itself can be rectified and prepared to receive the great light of Tohu. Eighty-six is the gematria of the word וימל meaning "and he circumcised" [Bereshit 17:23]. This is the tikun of Elo-him in Beriyah.

Tikun HaAf. Eighty-six is also the gematria of האף meaning "surely" [Bereshit 18:13], for surely have I remembered, and surely Sarah laughs with the Name להימא. Surely remembering and laughing at the absurdity of it all, anger, אף [Shemot 4:14] is transformed into a measure of remembrance equal to all the mitzvot of the Torah. This is the tikun of Elo-him in Yetzirah, the world of the letter vav.

Tikun HaChemah, Sh'lim. With Elo-him and the world of Yetzirah rectified, the broken vav of shalom is restored to wholeness. Through restoration of vav, wrath חמה is transformed into a protecting wall, חומה.

Tikun HaShechinah, Tashuv Hey. The digit sum of all the letters constituting the newly configured Bereshit 1:1 is 5. Five is the value of the letter hey, representing the power of expression and complete teshuvah. This is the tikun of Elo-him in Assiyah and sweetens the 5 judgments in Malchut at their root. hamtakat hadinim beshorsham

Shem Chai. Each person has a spark of Mashiach, one's living name, one's shem chai שם חי. With the 4 letters of shem chai and the following 4 expressions, the 4th side of the letter beit is closed, restoring the power of redemption to wholeness in all 4 worlds, and drawing it down into all existence.

מ This is my name, ליאורה חנה אלישבע צברה בת אהוביה ואדר

ש this is my remembrance, ראשיתב ראא להימא תה שמימו אתה ארצו

י this is my hallel, רב

ח and this is my decree, להימא

making a vessel fit for (my spark of) Mashiach.

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Dare to be true to yourself.