Friday, January 27, 2006

Eliyahu's Mantle

Shemot: A Study In Prophetic Ethics

I was enraptured by you. I came forth and rose up, because you know my name. Tehilim 91:14
כי בי חשק, ואפלטהו; אשגבהו, כי-ידע שמי

Hashem hu haElokim, Hashem hu haElokim. 1 Melachim 18:39
יי הוא האל הים , יי הוא האל הים

This is the enraptured exclamation of one who has discovered the intimate Holy light hidden within. A treasure of return.

The mission of G-D cannot be accomplished where honor is not shared between parents and children nor when the ethical mitzvah of honoring one's parents (and teachers) is neglected. Elishaba is one of my names and I do it. A Study In Prophetic Ethics.


As an adult, when I first returned to Torah, I chose a hebrew name. As I have grown in Torah, walked the derekh and my netiv path, I've continued to recover my hebrew names. Through actualization of my purpose in creation, as described by my hebrew names, may it not only open up my soul to further discovery, but bring honor to both my parents and to the teachers who have brought me closer to Torah, and bestow creative light, lifeforce and energy upon all who know them.

This is my name, this is my remembrance, this is my hallel, and this is my decree, generation to generation:

ליאורה חנה אלישבע צברה בת אהוביה ואדר

Liorah Chanah Elishaba Tsabrah bat Ahuvyah v'Adar.


Liorah - My given english first name is Lori. But, I didn't just choose Liorah because of its similarity to my english name. I chose it because it means "light to me". In other words, the name Liorah brings down hashra'ah, the Holy immersive creative force of the Shechinah and Divine Omnipresence, through each of the 3 levels of Divine Lifeforce: ohr, chayut and koach to me. I chose to confirm the meaning/mission in the name Liorah, which is the hebrew equivalent to the name my parents gave me, Lori.


Chanah - My given english middle name is Ann and means favor/grace. Favor is an act of receiving (ohr, chayut, koach) for the reishit (7th) purpose of bestowing the same (ohr, chayut, koach) of that unleashed in Adar (the paradoxical permutation of the soulspark of Moshe into a soulspark of Mashiach) through my first hebrew name Liorah. This will to receive for the sake of giving called reishit transforms the bread of poverty (matzah) into challah, the bread of chelek la'olam haba, which satisfies Divine Purpose for one's creation in the first place - to make a portion of the World-To-Come. Challah begins with the letter chet (with a chatoteret to join One Name to 4 names, with love redeemed), as does the hebrew equivalent to Ann, which is the name Chanah. As Liorah ends with the letter hey and Chanah begins with chet, Chanah also ends with the letter hey. In this fact, between the heys of these two names (Liorah and Chanah), stands the solution to the riddle of the ritual of the parah adumah (from alef to tav), the secret of itta (from alef to tav and tav to alef), the mystery of Elisha's double portion (Elisha-ba) of Eliyahu's prophetic spirit, the evolution of woman into a vessel fit for mashiach, and the redeeming power of Eh-yeh Asher Eh-yeh. Chanah is the mother of Shmuel HaNavi. Shmuel HaNavi is the ultimate rectification of the sefirah Netzach, a sefirah whose rectification is achieved during Purim (see below). Moreover, the name Chanah refers to the 3 mitzvot specifically given to women (challah, niddah and hadlikat nerot). In light of all this, I chose to confirm the meaning/mission in the name Chanah, which is the hebrew equivalent to my english middle name.


Elishaba (where I prefer the pronunciation Elishaba over Elisheva) - Elizabeth was my Jewish great grandmother's name (my mother's mother's mother). Elishaba is the hebrew equivalent of Elizabeth. Importantly, the name Elishaba means "G-d's oath". I was given and gave an oath in the womb, as all souls of Israel do [Niddah 30b] - and kept in purity, it is an oath I remember to this day. Thus, the name Elishaba is integral to who I am as a human being with a specific Divine purpose. Without any doubt and without regret, Amalek was blotted out. I stood firm with the power of netzach and true mesirut nefesh to confirm the meaning and mission in the name Elishaba. This is my name. In Torah, Elisheva/Elishaba is of the tribe of Yehudah, and as the wife of Aharon the Kohen Gadol, she is a kohenet. Later, she was reincarnated as Batsheva, the soulmate of David HaMelech. Elisha-ba/Elisheva holds the keys to transformation, healing and resurrection. He is also the one who received the mantle of Eliyahu HaNavi, the harginger of redemption. In addition to its connection to the navi'im, the name Elisha-ba rectifies the error of Elisha ben Avuyah, as Elishaba is anchored in the goodness of the names Liorah and Chanah and protected by the name which follows it, Tsabrah.


Tsabrah - This describes my personality perfectly. I am a very prickly person on the outside, just like the tsabrah fruit. This name describes the kind of person I am. Moreover, the 3-letter root צבר of the name means to collect and to gather to protect from loss. So, this name "gathers" all my other names together and protects the mission described by all my other names.

בת אהוביה

Bat Ahuvyah - My mother's name is Cheryl. Cheryl is french for "beloved". Without my mother's support in many ways over the years, my Torah study would be in a sorry, sorry state. My mother is a rock of G-d. Though we both understand differently, my mother's awesome devotion to G-D is lishmah, making her a perfect example of the soul power ahavah as described by the name Ahuvyah. This soul power is actualized and expressed during the Shema prayer through the phrase "with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might" and is the secret of the staff of Aharon.


v'Adar - My father's name is Audra. The hebrew letters in this name are alef vav dalet reish. Two relevant 3-letter roots for these letters are: alef dalet reish (אדר, meaning "mighty", "mantle" and "praise") and alef vav dalet (אוד, meaning "set into motion" and "effect results"). My father is the gentle spirit of a man who held his little daughter in his arms and told her "you can be anything you want to be" and then made me believe it. I've never forgotten, Daddy. I formally returned to Torah and became a ba'alat teshuvah during the month of Adar. My turn toward complete teshuvah was inspired by a Jew named Mark (Mordechai) and Mark (Mordechai) is also the middle name of the Kohen who supervised my formal return to Torah. Mordechai, Mordechai (two of my first teachers, like Moshe, Moshe in a fuzzy-Purim kinda way) is the hero in the story of Purim, a Holy Day in the month of Adar. All of these facts are provided for in the hebrew name-unit of my father, "v'Adar".

בת אהוביה ואדר

Bat Ahuvyah v'Adar - And what have I done with the addition of these names to mine? I honor both my birth parents and the teachers who returned me to Torah. The mission of G-D cannot be accomplished where honor is not shared between parents and children nor when the ethical mitzvah of honoring one's parents (and teachers) is neglected. Elishaba is one of my names and I do it, with praise in honor to my parents and teachers.

All my hebrew names ARE my names. They aptly describe who I am, what my mission is, from where I came, where I'm at, to where I'm going, and who has helped me to get there. In my mind, I haven't really chosen my hebrew names - I have recovered them. And no one, no one, can tell me that my names are not mine, because I know differently.

The lamed-hey pasuk in Torah which encompasses my primary name Liorah as well as all my 4 personal names (ליאורה חנה אלישבע צברה ) of redemption is Devarim 30:12 (paraphrased):

It is not in the heavens,
that I should say,
who can go up and get it for me
that I may observe it.

ל א בשמים, הוא: לאמ ר, מי יעלה-לנו השמימה ויקחה לנו, וישמענו א תה, ונעשנה

No one needs to give me permission to use my own names.
Eh-yeh Asher Eh-yeh.

יי הוא האל הים , יי הוא האל הים
Hashem hu haElokim, Hashem hu haElokim.
1 Melachim 18:39

תני ג' שמות נקראו לאדם הזה אחד שקראו לו אביו ואמו ואחד שקראו לו אחרים ואחד שקראו לו בספר תולדות ברייתו

You have 3 names: the name your parents bestow on you, the name by which others call you, and the name you earn for yourself through your conduct. Kohelet Rabbah 7:3

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Thursday, January 26, 2006

G-D Gate

The Secret Of Gedaliah.

Contrary to common knowledge, Gedaliah's name is not from the 3-letter hebrew root, gimel-dalet-lamed, meaning "great" (gadol). Rather, it is from the root, gimel-dalet-hey, meaning "to separate and divide". Significantly, both of these roots are composed of 3 letters (thesis [G], antithesis [D], and synthesis [L / H]).

In other words, though Gedaliah seems great (L) and expresses seeming teshuvah (H), his "synthetic" great teshuvah lacks connection to truth (Vav) and in consequence, to proper judgment through the choshen mishpat, the kohen gadol's breastplate of proper judgment (tet). This truth (allowing proper judgment) is found only by rectification of the yetzer hara (the al-hara'ah, meaning "over evil", of Yonah 4:2) and its transformation into the shepherd of redemption. This transformation is achieved through permuting the word "al" (of "over evil") into vav-hey-pey-dalet-hey (which means "and redeemed"), and by changing the cantillations of hara'ah into haro'eh [Shemot 48:15] in truth [Shemot 34:6].

This is the truth "missing" in Yonah 4:2, as it pertains to the 13 attributes of Hashem's mercy - the mercy which liberates (Sefer Shemot) in contradistinction to mercy which abrogates divine judgment (Sefer Yonah).

From this rectification and transformation of the yetzer hara/the shepherd comes its elevation. Elevation is achieved through transformation (from the position of a deeper 2-letter "root" - a "gate" as described by Sefer Yetzirah) of the 3-letter root of Gedaliah (GDH) meaning "divide", into the root gimel-vav-dalet (GVD) meaning "connect". Interestingly, the 2-letter gate (the 50th gate of understanding, made of rectified scorpion energy) from which this transformation proceeds is G-D. The G-D gate.

GVD is the root for the word "gid" (gimel-yod-dalet) of gid hanashe (symbolic of the yetzer hara, the evil inclination). Hanashe is from the same root as Menashe (whose name means "to cause to forget"). Consequently, this rectification of the yetzer hara is also the rectification of the "evil" Menashe (and vindication of Yosef HaNavi) - as the yod (hand) extends (gid -> gvd) with truth (vav), also an ability of the "gate of G-D". In note, this little bit of truth may be why many religious people write the english word for Hashem (God), G-D, without even knowing it.

The remaining letters of Gedaliah's name, those not of the root GDH, (LYH) lamed-yod-hey (meaning belonging to Y-ah), suggest that Gedaliah's "sin" is attempted theft (separating VH from YH) of that "belonging to Y-ah (G-D)". The divine name Y-ah is associated with the Satan (the accuser) and the yetzer hara according to R. Avraham Abulafia. Consequently, Gedaliah's error is also a failure to elevate his yetzer hara to Y-ah (G-D).

... as the shepherd belonging to Y-ah raises her hand ... to understand with complete emunah ...

Ha'rem Y-ah is a sign of true teshuvah (represented by tav, the seal of truth) and solves the secret (solves the dream of exile to reveal the dream of redemption) of David HaMelech's riddle written on the doors (the 2 dalets of the 2 roots GDL and GDH) of the (G-D) gate (1 Shmuel 21:13-14), and pertains to actualizing a "complete and true" yetzer, the yetzer temimut. Solving the riddle evidences complete and true sanctification of the mind, allowing its "connection" to G-D, enabling and resulting in the unification of Adam (ADaM). From this unification, comes the Torah of Mashiach.

Shema Yisrael Adonai eloheinu Adonai echadd. Gimel, dalet, lamed, hey, vav (GDLHV) - these are the 5 stones of transformation of the yetzer hara. They are also the 5 stones fused into one complete stone in David's slingslot - complete truth, the only stone able to slay Goliath (the giant standing in the way of geulah, complete and true redemption).

GDLHV = 3 + 4 + 30 + 5 + 6 = 48.

Forty-eight has a digit sum reduced value (4 + 8) of 12. And this is how the 5 stones, fused into 1 (echad) number (12) unifies the 12 tribes of Yisrael (down to the level of Yetzirah). Further reduction (to the level of Asiyah) is 1 + 2 = 3 = gimel, the 1-letter light-vessel of chesed, and consequently, of the bat kohen.

Remember, G-D has made me to remember with steadfast love.

I will be what I will be. Ey-yeh Asher Eh-yeh.

The Glory of G-D is to conceal a thing. The glory of a King is find it out.
Mishlei 25:2
And the glory of a Talmidah Chachamah is a light to the nations.

Yishayahu 42:6, 49:6

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Friday, January 20, 2006

Messianic Consciousness

The Divine 4-headed shin of Hashem and of the matriarchs [1, 2] represents chochmah of binah of atzilut, with its base representing the malchut of echad. Concealed within the natural functions of the universe, it is imperceptible to the limited and unrectified human mind. This shin represents the changeless dark essence - the dark light corresponding to the love of the Land of Israel, and represents rectification of the sin of the spies.

The 4 heads of the shin represent the future to come (לעתיד לבא) and the level of imma ila'ah (of atzilut) in unity with the malchut of echad (of Ein Sof). The lower partzuf of imma ila'ah is tevunah, the power to apprehend the future world. Comprehension of this apprehension is also called the coming world (עולם הבא olam haba). Thus, the 4-headed shin alludes to both the coming world (the lower brilliance) and to the future world (the higher brilliance). In my experience, the epiphany of 1967 is an example of a lower brilliance event. Yet, from that was confirmed a future higher brilliance event.

Found on the original tablets from Sinai, the 4-headed shin is embossed on the left side of the tefillin [2] worn on the head (corresponding to the letter reish of raz, where raz symbolizes the mystery of Mashiach Ben David). This shin comes into existence by framing and intercalating the the 3-headed shin of this world (olam hazeh עולם הזה).

Framing the 3-headed shin, the fourth vav of the 4-headed shin, represents the archetypal righteous convert/ba'alat teshuvah [1], who transforms upon arising from the dark base point of the malchut of echad into a zayin. This zayin is the last letter of raz, and represents revelation of a once-hidden holy spark through the righteous convert/ba'alat teshuvah).

Moreover, this zayin (true favor) unifies the Divine, the spiritual and the physical, and serves as a conduit for the provision of sustenance to Israel and to the whole world, through atzilut to assiyah, flowing from the malchut of echad. The true favor found in zayin [1] is the sum (58) of seven components hidden in the form of the 3-headed shin of this world (3 yuds above 3 vavs on the yud of the base).

The 3-headed shin of Elokim and of the patriarchs [1, 2], similar to the one used in the Torah scroll, represents binah of chochmah of the lower worlds of beriyah, yetzirah and assiyah, with its base (turned upside down and inside out like a nun hafucha) established in the malchut of atzilut. It is found on the right side of the tefillin worn on the head and refers to the human mind [2] and to its ability to receive intangible insight through the connecting dalet of darga (the ta'am elyon) and to perceive reality.

The transformative split vav of the 4-headed shin's line consciousness (through the 5 "line" vowels of the ogham) represents of the penetration of unblemished truth (through the 4 hebrew vowel letters) into the false grace of this world. This transforms the lie sheker (שקר shin kof reish) into the vowel shuruk (שורוק shin vav reish vav kof), thereby redeeming and revealing the once-hidden spark of truth upon which the lie once stood.

The hebrew vowel shuruk represents a synthesis of point (hebrew dagesh, celtic letter ailm), line (hebrew vav, ogham line) and area consciousness (a complete shuruk). This transformation and unification is the full rectification of the sefirah yesod. Yesod in the form of a tet (having the power to bear opposites and to unite heaven and earth) "frames" malchut. Yesod in the form of a vav contains the seed of truth. The dark essence of malchut is rectified by framing (a function of tet) and penetrating into the heart of vav (a function of zayin) through tevunah (the lower partzuf of imma ila'ah). This rectification transforms the inner essence of vav (da'at) into the zayin of shabbat consciousness, thereby raising the 3-headed shin "above the wood" of the lower worlds into the world of atzilut.

Attainment of shabbat consciousness and the elevation of the mundane back into the realm of holiness of atzilut marks rectification of the tree of knowledge. This enables unification in holiness of truth with favor through knowledge - ushering into every malchut the messianic consciousness of echad. Through the prism action of malchut, messianic consciousness is reflected, iterated and spread throughout all levels of existence, surging through all with the brightness and brilliance of the Ein Sof. Thus is the dark primordial pit of the tehiru and the whole world infused with the brilliance of the Infinite One.

[1] Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh, The Alef-Beit
[2] Rabbi Michael L. Munk, The Wisdom In The Hebrew Alphabet

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Parah Adumah

Dangerous Mind. The evolution of the female soul from Sarah (Sarai's pintele yid, point consciousness) to Serach (area consciousness), in its journey (line consciousness) through the fiery river dinur into the blue flame of the shepherd (vav hahipuch), is the secret of the ritual of parah adumah and of making a vessel fit for ha-moshiach. The keys are in the vowels.

Voice Of The Vowels. The hey of Sarah begins to become the chet of Serach in the revelation of one little drop of ink (unfolding the pintel yid of Sarai), from the hand of tafsaret, the soferet carrying the mesorah and spark of messianic consciousness. Through the hey of her name, Sarah Imenu functions to birth a soul from the echad of ein sof, and carries it across the barrier (the fiery river dinur) separating atzilut from beriyah. As this soul of Sarah unfolds into Serach (covering 5 generations, i.e., worlds), the hey becomes a chet (indicating both a transcendent yet immanent soul) in assiyah, the gate back into the echad of ein sof.

4 hebrew letters - from line to area, vowels & consonants
5 ogham vowels - points & lines

The Danger Zone

The redemptive process has 3 stages. In my life, these expressive aspects are:

point of faith (pintele yid)
line of progress (celtic ogham)
area of redemption (hebrew aleph-beit)

The vulnerable stage in achieving redemptive consciousness is the transformation between line and area consciousness. This is the danger zone.

Holy Espionage

The Danger Zone. Here is likely the place where one seeking to attain messianic redemptive consciousness will fail, and where the attempt towards a holy synthesis of tohu and tikun on the level of the akeidah will fall apart and degenerate. The key to success in this endeavor, and the key to making a holy vessel fit for messianic redemptive consciousness, can be found in the mysterious ritual of the parah adumah. This is also a secret of Serach's eternal memory.

Thief In The Night

a day of dark shadows
it was that night
as the House of Vampires & Witches
came tumbling down
vomiting us out
stirring up hell

I dreamt. 20 Tevet 5766.

What exactly, I'll never know. Yet, as it all blew apart, I saw as it flew out. First, it revealed itself as a spark from a dark, hidden room. Then detaching and unfolding from the light, the shell staggered about like a featherless chick on shaking legs, muttering "I can't keep mending myself." It flew off, back to its planet of origin. And the spark of ha-geulah has been released.

Roots Of The Chicken Robber And HaGeulah

The chick (gimel vav zayin lamed) is a robber (gimel zayin lamed). It steals (gimel zayin lamed) and cuts off (gimel vav zayin) divine rejoicing (gimel vav lamed) in the soul.

Yet, HaGeulah (hey gimel aleph vav lamed hey) will become revealed (gimel aleph lamed) like a thief in the night. The robber that came in the night in a dream, was purged (gimel aleph lamed) through suffering. It couldn't keep mending itself, and returned to its place - taking galut with it and revealing ha-geulah.

once stricken
forgotten, exiled
from an ancient ancient land of exquisite light, sharing divine communication
where unique individuals express
a powerful art, a beautiful technology, an awesome science
a scribal tapestry, masterpieces
darkly distributing blessing into being
where bright morning stars still sing together, alive! alive!
despite handshakes between men seeking power
dealing deceptions, between many lands as history begins
against marriages by political arrangement, secretly adorned
with plans of destruction, orchestrating her execution
to usurp her place, to blot out her law, to turn the world over
yet blood speaks from the ground
witnessing, as tzionim of the deep deep night
multiply warrior beetles, a myriad myriads
black flooding the land with brilliance
remember! true love still has everything to do with it! remember!
not by power, not by might, not by political arrangement, but by only One spirit
curling through epochs, intercalating ages and times
turning the world over shadows focused
drawn together, rising up, returning on the fringes
resurrected to land of the living, reclaiming one people
out from the civilizations into which we have been swallowed

From Beyond The Sambatyon


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Monkey Test

To trap a monkey, hunters will drill out a coconut, fill its innards with peanuts, yet leave a hole in the husk just big enough for a monkey to put its hand inside and grasp a handful of peanuts. Then, hunters will tie the coconut securely to a tree. The hole left in the husk of the coconut made by the hunters is not big enough for a monkey to remove its hand as it clenches a fistful of peanuts.

Hunters know that the coconut, tied tightly to a tree, cannot be dislodged by the struggle of any monkey against it. Neither will a monkey drop the clenched peanuts, thereby enabling it to remove its hand. Thus, a monkey can be effectively trapped and killed by hunters.

All because a monkey refuses to let go of the immediate good (peanuts, knowledge) for the promised good (life, ultimate redemptive knowledge).

This monkey story is a story of being able to exit the PaRDeS (levels of consciousness) in peace (remaining whole instead of being destroyed). In the event in my closet when I was six, there was a monkey test. In fact, there were two monkey tests - one to run ("go up") and one to return ("come down").

The first one was before turning inside-out (where consciousness moved from a katnut (constricted) state into a gadlut (expanded) state). As "all" rushed out through me (still basically in katnut consciousness), the wondrousness of the knowledge tempted my mind to hold it within the mind. It was such a treasure. A treasure the mind wanted to keep. Only after letting it go, in all its splendor and beauty, did I turn inside outside and enter into kadmon consciousness.

The second instance where letting go by the mind was required was when coming down from kadmon consciousness, returning to a katnut state, and becoming recentered with the body. Again, the mind was tempted to retain within its borders all that it had been able to apprehend with kadmon consciousness. Again, letting go enabled the mind to safely cross the barrier which marked the transition between states of consciousness.

Why is it important to let go? I think that the act of letting go is the mechanism through which the Divine Will penetrates into and is enabled to itself act within the mundane physical world directly. It is not so much "going up", nor even all that one can apprehend there in that state (kadmon), that is important. Letting go releases the essential energy which drives unfolding of Divine Will into and within this lowest world. Also, holding on to great knowledge and bringing it down into the rational mind prior to preparation of the mind to receive it (shabbat consciousness or "mighty" consciousness) would have been catastrophic to an unprepared mind, which mine was, at 6 years old. This "letting go" of knowledge prior to its time represents rectification of the sin (holding onto knowledge the mind is unable to safely contain) of the tree of knowledge.

The monkey test is like the mitzvah (magickal deed) of the bird's nest - one can't prepare for it.

When I was six years old, entirely unprepared and unlearned. Yet, I let go (in exchange for a promise). There was no time to think. There was nothing for me to understand in that time. There was only a promise and a question of trust. Yes or no?

Essential bitachon (divine faith connection). An essential mitzvah. A mitzvah of the moment. No time to think. Only to react. And that reaction comes from atzmut, the essence. As it must.

Saturday, January 14, 2006


no angels need apply
"the original intention was for humankind to be conscious of G-d's Unity much more directly"
The Arizal On The Torah

The two-letter hebrew root, mem-tet מט, symbolizes the archangel Metatron in Jewish mystical literature.There are 3 three-letter hebrew roots derived from this two-letter root, mem-tet. They are:

שמט shin-mem-tet - (remove support [1])

מלט mem-lamed-tet - (move fast and escape [1])

מוט mem-vav-tet - (totter and yoke [1])

The first two three-letter roots pertain to the psychological situation where one is dependent upon angelic support for the mystical experience of the divine chariot. It is written [Zohar I, 97b; III, 118a] that the 4 angels Gavriel, Michael, Rafael and Uriel support the divine chariot. Consequently, should one of the angels withdraw support, the chariot would collapse. Should the chariot collapse, one would need to move fast to escape the harmful repercussions of that event.

Yet against this merkavah catastrophe comes the Talmud. The names of the 4 angelic "supports" is described by the acronym Gemara [Kehillas Yaakov, erech gemara]. In light of this knowledge, it can be seen that study of gemara moves one from a state of dependence on angelic support to a state of independence from angelic support for the mystical experience, by purifying consciousness and by promoting the ability to be supported by one's own essence in devekut with the Divine Essence.

Independence from angelic support and the ability to self-organize adaptability within all worlds is the birthright.

There are dangers associated with merkavah mysticism. In terms of mechanism, we can see that the first 3-letter root reflects removal of angelic support from one dependent upon angelic support for the mystical experience. In other words, one unworthy of coming into the Divine Presence is prevented from doing so. The second 3-letter root follows from implementation of the first root (where angelic support has been removed) and assists one not quite worthy, yet not without some merit, to escape. This second root provides the ability to move fast to avoid the immediate consequences of a collapsing chariot. To reiterate, the second root pertains to a situation where one has acquired sufficient merit to avoid immediate death.

In contradistinction to the first two 3-letter roots, the third 3-letter root pertains to a situation where one is independent of angelic support and is supported by one's own inmost essence in complete devekut with the Divine Essence. In this latter case, though one's psychospiritual equilibrium may totter (calling to mind Rabbi Akiva's description of trying with all his might to maintain balance while in Aravot), the soul's support can never be withdrawn.

This latter root also reflects an in-parallel dynamic congruent with worthiness, where the letter tav (ת the letter of truth) is anchored securely within one's soul through one's essence. This mystery is intercalated with a woman's monthly cycle - vav-samekh-tav). In consequence to purifying the heart through simple Torah study and by observing its mitzvot (particularly Taharat HaMishpacha), the connection is made to the integral balance inherent to essence.

Think of the mechanism this way. Imagine the configuration mem-vav as an immune cell defense receptor in the bloodstream of yetzirah. As an immune receptor, it functions to bind any loose letter tav (the letter of truth) floating around unbound by the body's tissues like it is an infectious sheker. Binding tav in the form of sheker activates an inflammatory-natural killer cell response with the aims of killing the infectious target and preventing sickness in the body. Now, once one achieves integral balance, one is judged good to go, and instead of tav, a tet (pervasive goodness) becomes bound to mem-vav cellular receptor in the body's bloodstream. If one is judged unworthy, then a free-floating higher avidity tav becomes bound to it.

Here in this analogical scenario, the mem of mem-vav represents the 4 worlds as manifest in yetzirah, and vav functions to discern truth in parallel with tav. A tav has higher avidity than tet and is bound mem-vav if it is free-floating. Binding a tav by mem-vav over a tet results in death - mavet or mot. The mem-vav will bind the tav if tav (truth) is not securely bound by the body through its physical actions (through doing the mitzvot).

Back to the latter 3-letter root, in this case, the mystical vessel is no longer really a chariot (a collection of dead though animated movable parts), but a living organism capable of adapting as needed to the metaphysical environment. In this manner (al mot, Shir HaShirim 1:3) is "the angel" mem-tet transformed and reintegrated into the human experience through the root mem-vav-tet.

The vessel has become a living organism capable of self-organizing adaptability able to navigate all worlds, where one's free choice (bechirah) is in harmony and aligned with The Divine Will. This too, is the birthright.

Paradoxically, it is also written that the 3-letter root, mem-vav-tet, implies loosing hold or falling apart. This might be true for one dependent upon angelic support. But, for one independent of angelic support, the root holds the exact opposite meaning and the meaning becomes "to hold together by tottering" which enables true communication "to be released" (through the word himaleit, also derived from the mem-tet root). This "loosing hold" meaning of the root, for the independent one, also acts synergistically with the word himaleit as a mechanism through which expanded consciousness releases itself from the mystical experience and "returns" to normal awareness.

[1] Etymolgical Dictionary Of Biblical Hebrew, R. Matityahu Clark

through meditating on the mishna, your soul will become a chariot ...

R. Chaim Vital, Sha'are Kedusha, 4th section; Mishna Meditiation

Express in truth, whatever the soul reveals; for with each spark of truth, torches of light assemble, illuminating the whole world, and from such fragments of inner truth will the Great Truth emerge. [Rav Kook, Lights Of Holiness 1:168]

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Friday, January 13, 2006

David's Dance

my birthday 21 tevet 5721 [8 January 1961 at 8:56 P.M.]
1961, the year of my birth, the year of double blue moons
chochmat ha'umot, chochmat shlomo & ha'mashiach

8, double blues moon & sod ha-ibbur
8 pesukim, zeman cherutenu
4 women, ashkenazic genetic signatures BBC JPost NY Times Google

Celtic and Jewish calendars each have 13 months. Interincluded, together they have 26 months (where 26 is the gemaria of the 4-letter Divine Name, the shem ha-etzem). The 13th month of the Celtic calendar is Ruis; of the Jewish calendar, the 13th month is Adar 2, the month of atzilutic interinclusion. Ruis occurs during winter (while Adar 2 occurs as winter turns to spring), the season of terrible ice (malchut of atzilut in a congealed state, of undefined awareness) and snow (chochmah in a state of permanence, memory). Ruis includes the winter solstice and culminates on a day/night set aside apart from any month. This day/night is called the unhewn dolmen, an unhewn stone marking the sacred doorway to the mysteries. The Celtic calendar operates on a 19-year cycle, as does the Jewish calendar; both intercalate solar time into the basically lunar calendar.

Ruis is the month of the blue moon and of mystic completeness; of that called tamim/temimut in Hebrew. A blue moon, defined as two full moons within a single civil (Gregorian) calendar month, occurs 7 times during a 19-year metonic cycle of lunar phases. A blue moon is associated with rarity, and a mathematical probability of 8 in 228, or 3.5%.

In the Jewish calendar, as opposed to the civil calendar, there can never be a blue moon month. The full moon is always mid-month, although this may not necessarily coincide with the astronomical full moon.

In the Celtic determination of time, blue moons can be. In the Jewish determination of time, blue moons can be not. Consequently, between the two calendars, reality can dance between being and not being, between something and nothing. Koach mah? What is the genius in this?

The ordinal value of Chavah (Eve) is 19. The 19th letter of the alef-beit is kuf, the first letter of kadosh, holy. The first 19 physical, the second 19 spiritual, are both bound together in unity using two systems of 19. Thus, the physical and the spiritual are unified through the essence of both Am Yisrael and the nations.

Double blue moons, 2 months of a blue moon in 1 year, are even rarer. The year of my birth,1961, was a year of double blue moons, a double portion of that which occurs 7 times in a 19-year cycle. The doubling of 7 is 14, the number of hours that the true full moon may differ from the calculated one.

Hashem desired a dwelling ... Midrash Tanchuma Naso 16

Dream Master

Refuse to accept that there is no prophecy today, and advance the possibility that there is.
Liorah Chanah

Through learning to discern one's dreams, one comes to know one's inmost heart, and one step further, comes to know G-d. Through learning to separate out and transform the elements within one's heart that misdirect psycho-spiritual energy, one purifies kavanah and one's whole being. Done in awe, in pursuit of truth, with true emunah, bitachon and temimut, this purification - of the dream center (the unconscious mind in connection with the whole soul and with G-d), of the heart and of the mind - opens up one's waking experience to purified action in the world of physicality. And, not only may one's actions be pure, and done lishmah, but one's "normal" waking awareness becomes sensitive and perceptually receptive to the Divine dwelling in all physical reality, in all action and in all experience. In other words, one becomes a vessel for communication with the Divine. This is the essence of prophecy. This is the essence of a true dream master. Yesterday and tomorrow, and yes, even today. From vision of the night to prophetic communication - this is the work of the dream master.

Refuse to accept that there is no prophecy today, and advance the possibility that there is. Choose devekut with the Divine over power. This is the message of the shalshelet of Vayeshev, of Yosef's tikkun, and of Yosef's "refusal with his whole being" of the "falsehood" that constricted consciousness and its attendant desire for power over others as advanced by Potipher's wife, is all we can hope to know today. The advance of Potipher's wife represents a move toward power over others (because we can expect nothing greater in this world at this moment in time) and away from prophetic communication. Importantly, her advance represents that which is diametrically opposed to our (Rambam's) 12th principle of faith - to expect moshiach even now. Yosef turned away from power and toward messianic consciousness.

Becoming A Prophet



Not asleep, not awake, yet fully aware. Unable to move, unable to breathe, yet my eyes fully open and able to see. I saw something at the foot of my bed. It was not good. It was not bad. It was neutral, even as it evoked the thought of the Angel of Death in my mind. It reached out to touch my right ankle. I was terrified. Yet, You love me is all I could think against the terror. Energy, like an invisible electrical jolt came from within to without my whole body, and the figure withdrew its hand. I could hear the wind blowing and soft claps of thunder outside. The figure just stood there at the foot of my bed as if waiting. It then reached out again to touch my right ankle. The energy jolt also happened again, much stronger than the first one had been. I was more amazed by the force of the energy coming out through me than I was frightened of the figure. Concurrent with the second energy jolt, the wind howled and shook the house and the thunder boomed as if right outside my window. The figure withdrew its hand and disappeared. As soon as it disappeared, my paralysis was broken. I jumped up out of bed, partly from pushing against released resistance, and partly just to move my body and regroup my senses. I went to my window. The night was clear, still and quiet. Stars dotted the sky. I realized that the life I had planned was probably not going to be the life I was going to get.

The one over death loves me. Shir HaShirim 1:3

Tzitz Nezer Kodesh

From Essence To Actualization
One use of the expression panim chadashot [1] in the Talmud refers to a new entity. HaGeulah.
[1] R. Adin Steinsaltz , Reference Guide To The Talmud

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Sod HaIbbur

Nephilim, the fallen ones, in my experience, refers to projection of the higher soul levels (neshamah, chayah and yechidah) of atzilut/adam kadmon through the worlds of creation and formation (beriyah and yetzirah), and attaching to actions of the physical body in the world of assiyah. Though originating beyond the limitations of time and space, for me as a creature of time and space, I experienced this ibbur-phenomenon of the soul in 1994, the same year the cat's eye nebula was discovered. Twelve years ago this year (2006/5766). It was this experience which revealed to me that I was of "Jewish" ancestry. From a higher soul level, I observed from a place surrounding beyond the heavens, dark and completely peaceful - a place where many are one. Amidst an oversoul in which I was not alone. From the vantage point of the selection, I observed and gathered inward together, projecting a "line" doing it - the line a contraction coming down through time, heavens and galaxies. It became attached to the earth "between" the aspects of existence called David and Solomon. The "place" between David and Solomon is the Beit HaMikdash, which is also the place of the akeidah of the binding of Yitzchak (Mishneh Torah, Laws Of The Holy Temple 2:1-2). The "heart in between" represents the Holy of Holies, which is the heart of the Beit HaMikdash. Here, in the merit of the akeidah, true prophecy is established (Maimonides, Guide For The Perplexed, part 3, chapter 24). Lastly, nephilim are rectifying influences from the world of wholeness (atzilut/adam kadmon) and unity (echad of ein sof). Nephilim are not "fallen angels". Fallen angels, even good angels, are energy-intelligence-complexes of the fractured worlds (beriyah, yetzirah and assiayh). Nephilim are also "eyes" through which HaShem "swoops down" riding the soul, sees and assays the conditions of the world.

restore our judges as in days of old and our counselors as in former times ...
The Amidah, Devarim 16:18


The word chilazon is made up of two hebrew root words: chet yod lamed (enable, develop abilities, concentrate power) and zayin vav nun (sustain, satisfy); taken together, chilazon implies one able to develop and concentrate one's power to sustainly connect the spiritual world (the chet of the first root) to the physical world (the zayin of the second root). The chet is made up of 2 zayins, totalling 3 zayins and a chatoteret in the whole word. Thus, chilazon also symbolizes rectified unification of beriyah, yetzirah and assiyah - with a gate (elevated) through atzilut into ein sof. The "blood" of the chilazon is the hebrew letters, and the techelet "thread" is actualization of the abilities of Betzalel and Ohaliav.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Shalshelet HaKabbalah

Weaving A New World

The purpose of creation and of our being in it is to integrate the worlds of tohu and tikun into a third order of existence much greater than either tohu or tikun of itself. [13]

Then this stone which I have set up as a pillar.
Bereshit 29:22 (parashat Vayeitzei)

The Talmud (Yoma 53b) and Zohar tell us that this stone is the foundation of creation, and the stone from which the Holy of Holies and the Temple in Jerusalem are built. Buried in the great abyss, it is called even ha-shetiyah, the foundation stone.

The meaning of the word shetiyah in the phrase even ha-shetiyah is of both Hebrew and Aramaic origin. The Hebrew verb root [1] shin-vav-tav (שות) to place, and the Aramaic word shetiyah [2], to weave, contribute to our understanding of this stone, traditionally representing the foundation of our active existence in the world. Given its importance, what is it telling us to do?

A simple question, of course, begs a complex answer. Parashat Vayeitzei, is in Sefer Bereshit. This sefer is mystically understood to contain the secret of esoteric Torah transmission. This mystical tradition is called shalshelet ha-kabbalah. [3] Shalshelet- [4] is a rare Torah trope (musical cantillation) of which there are only 4 in the entire written Torah. Three of the 4 are in Sefer Bereshit and 1 of the 4 is in Sefer Vayikra. In other words, there is a "set of 3" of this rare trope in Sefer Bereshit, the book of creation, and 1 shalshelet stands alone in Sefer Vayikra. Note that a set of 3 moves to 1 - this will be important later.

Ibn Ezra [5] tells us that truth can be discerned from analyzing "sets of 3" in the story of creation. For example, sheker (falsehood, shin-kuf-reish,שקר) has a digit sum [6] of 6. Emet (truth, alef-mem-tav, אמת) has a digit sum of 9. Similarly, other sets of 3 can be gematrically reduced and analyzed for alignment with falsehood and truth. We will use this tool to analyze Malchitzedek, the first righteous king-priest and the shetiyah of both kehunah and kingship, to discern a truth with which to weave new understanding.

Malchitzedek is found in Torah [7] with the name-unit v'Malchitzedek in the form-structure vav-hey (VH-וה). VH is half the Divine Name YH-VH (יה-וה) and is a kabbalistic reference to the mashiach [8] or mystically, to messianic consciousness. The "vav" of v'Malchitzedek is the V (vav, ו) and "Malchitzedek" is the H (hey, ה) of the VH of YH-VH.

The name-unit has a total gematria of 300. Three-hundred is the value of the first letter (shin, ש) of the word sheker (falsehood). A lie cannot endure without some kernel of truth supporting it. [9] That kernel of truth is the shetiyah of all falsehood in malchut (this world). Here, in this "place", truth may be separated out (recovered) from falsehood. This is a kabbalistic secret of separating challah, the mitzvah of a woman.

Traditionally, the mitzvah of challah is understood to be the tikun (rectification) of the world of chaos (tohu). [10] Vav represents the world of tikun [11], while hey represents the world of tohu [12]. The name-unit v'Malchitzedek, therefore, represents a point-synthesis where integration of both worlds may occur.

The purpose of creation and of our being in it is to integrate the worlds of tohu and tikun into a third order of existence much greater than either tohu or tikun of itself. [13]

As VH, Malchitzedek acts toward this integration by giving Avraham (vav) bread (lower hey) and wine (upper hey) - these foodstuffs pertaining to active understanding [14] of the Torah and its secrets. Malchitzedek is acting (from the world of chaos, hey) as a point of bifurcation (the kernel of truth from the letter shin with a value of 300). This point is each "place" or shetiyah in life where one must pivotally decide whether to walk the path of emet or the path of sheker. In chaos theory, a bifurcation [15] is a point of radical divergence with the potential to reshape the entire world.

Continuing on toward weaving a new world, the digit sum of the name-unit v'Malchitzedek is 3. Three is a factor of both 6 and 9, and the common root of both falsehood and truth. Six, the value of the Hebrew letter vav, represents the Torah of Tiferet [16] (as experienced by a particular level of human consciousness) in the world of tikun. The 3-letter Hebrew root [17] of the word tiferet is tav-pey-reish (תפר), meaning to sew or to connect together in a manner of sewing. Sewing does not necessarily create a seamless unity, although it does create a garment for the divine. Even though a garment is good, it does serve to conceal the divine (hester panim) Seams are also "places" of weakness within a garment where that joined together may become separated or disunified (as Am Yisrael was disunified). Consequently, the Divine Name can become disunified in the Torah of Tiferet and in the world of tikun.

Nine, the value of the Hebrew letter tet (ט), represents the 9th sefirah yesod (יסוד meaning foundation). [18] Yesod is a secret (סוד sod - the Hebrew word for secret) beginning with the Hebrew letter yod (י). Yod has the value of 10. Consequently, the letter tet (with an ordinal value of 9) is really "the secret of a hidden 10". Tradition tells us that the secret of the number 10 is seamless unity among the sefirot "as befits a G-D who is One". [19] Thus, the hidden 10 of tet represents this seamless unity and, importantly, represents wholeness of the Divine Name.

Moreover, while vav represents the Torah of Tiferet, tet represents Torah Temimut (again, as experienced by a particular level of human consciousness), seamlessly whole and complete. The Torah of Tiferet uses the 4th shalshelet which stands alone as 1 in Sefer Vayikra to "sharply focus" the yetzers hara and hatov "for transformation" into the yetzer temimut. [20] The Divine Name becomes reunified in the process of this transformation. In consequence to reunification of the Divine Name, Torah Temimut becomes revealed. The word [21] upon which "the one" shalshelet in Sefer Vayikra rests comes from the 3-letter Hebrew root [22] shin-chet-tet (שחט), meaning to focus sharply for change and transformation. The shalshelet focuses particularly over the letter chet (ח with a chatoteret [23] for unification). The subsequent letter acts as the receiving vessel of that focused. That letter is tet, the letter of seamless truth.

Now, we can understand that while vav is the shetiyah of this world (olam hazeh), tet is the shetiyah to re-creating the world (olam haba), to unifying the Divine Name and to revealing Torah Temimut. The digit sum of the 3 Hebrew letters (mem-mem-alef, ממא) over which each shalshelet of Sefer Bereshit rests is 9 - all of them leading to ONE. One is actualized by weaving together both tohu and tikun, thereby creating the shetiyah of a new world. This is what the even ha-shetiyah is telling us to do.

1. R. Elie Munk, The Call Of Torah, on Bereshit 28:22
2. Yerushalmi, Pesahim 4:1; Ta'anit 1:6; Bavli, Sanhedrin 26b. Psalms 1:3. J. Caro, Shulkhan Arukh: Orah Haim 551:8
3. kabbalah
4. rare tropes
5. on Shemot 3:14
6. integral reduced value
7. Bereshit 14:18
8. Moshe Idel, Studies In Ecstatic Kabbalah, chapter 3
9. Rashi on Bamidbar 13:27
10. the mitzvah of challah
11. vav as tikun
12. hey as chaos
13. Adin Steinsaltz, In The Beginning, Discourses On Chasidic Thought
14. see #10
15. bifurcation in chaos theory
16. tiferet
17. Matityahu Clark, Etymological Dictionary of Biblical Hebrew
18. tet
19. why 10
20. The Importance Of Being Earnest
21. yetzer temimut
22. see #17
23. chet

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Elixir Of Redemption

anochi kohelet, tafsaret mal'e mitzionim ...
I am kohelet, a scribe full of letters ...

The Scribal Art Of Tafsaret
Elucidating The Torah
Tikun & Transformation Of The Witch Of En-Dor
for Asara B'Tevet

From the time of Moses until Ezra, explication of the Torah was through the method of biur. This word comes from the root be'er, meaning a well of water. Like a well, the creative flow of learning was "like an overflowing spring and a river that never dries up." [Avot 6:1]

Ezra promoted the approach of perush. This is an empirical method that examines each matter in reference to its details. Each detail is compared to the next.

Rav Kook

Radiance shines through the words and letters of the Holy Tongue. Unshackled, the scribal art of tafsaret, brings light from darkness. Anochi kohelet, tafsaret mal'e mitzionim - may my novel words of Torah by pleasing to Hashem.

every soul is a witch
... R. Abraham Abulafia, Chayah Olam Haba

En-dor is a composite word of three roots: the first root - ayin yod nun - "emerges" from a second hidden (tzafun) root - ayin vav nun "to reckon units of time". The third root - dalet vav reish - means "to link together". Consequently, the witch's hidden witchery consisted of linking together units of time with 1 dor (generation). The 1 dor suggests a disconnection between hod and netzach, and between yesod and malchut [1]. In other words, she had no foundation (ha-shetiyah) to support the line of transmission; for she had no remembrance of her true name. A person's Hebrew name is intimately connected to one's essential purpose in life - and consequently, to one's eternal destiny and ability to transmit Torah. Torah is transmitted through time in cycles. A cycle of Torah is like a cycle of time. Perhaps the witch of En-Dor didn't follow the Hebrew calendar, which intercalates Torah with time. Perhaps her failure was to reckon time divorced from the cycle of Torah.

Sod ha-ibbur. During the time of her physical existence, the witch failed to recover her true Hebrew name. Recovering her name would have allowed her to overcome the silence of celestial darkness in the soul, link her to her eternal divine destiny, and inject into her words and actions the essence of divine potency. The witch's tikun is to remember her name, and through this remembrance, to establish an eternal link to divine destiny. The witch's elevation back into the realm of holiness is through becoming the medaberah, tafsaret. Tafsaret elucidates Torah like an overflowing spring, creatively (biur) examining the matter's "hidden" details (perush), intercalating together both approaches to explicating Torah.

Tafsaret (tet phey samech reish tet), with a gematria of 358, is the rectification of the attribute of judgment (din) and of the nachash (358) within her. The unrectified nachash (a masculine or active force of enchantment) is the source of deceiving grace, the fear of insanity, the inability to discern truth, and blemishes of the sexual impulse. With tikun and elevation, comes transformation of the yetzer hara into one's spark of mashiach (358).

Tafsaret is a rare type of sofer; tafsaret is a feminine scribal artisan described by a Hebrew word of Sumerian roots. From the language of ancient Sumer [2], sar means "write". Taf means "board". The Hebrew verb root samekh reish tet carries the meanings of "script", "a tool for designing" and "marking" [3].

The letters of tafsaret contain the root (samech phey reish) of the word sofer (scribe). Yet tafsaret also contains two letters tet in addition to the root letters of ha-sofer. These two letters tet have a combined gematria of 18 (chet yud) - thereby bestowing "life" into the scribal writing of tafsaret. Specifically, these two additional letters of chai represent the chayah and yechidah soul levels which pertain to actualizing messianic consciousness.

Taking all this together, we can see that the tikun, transformation and re-elevation of the witch of En-Dor is achieved through sod-ibbur (the secret of intercalating time using the Hebrew calendar) and through becoming the medaberah, tafsaret. Achieving this, the witch(soul) survives, and transforms to realize her spark of mashiach, able to give over words from the Torah of mashiach.


[1] Gates Of Light, Avi Weinstein translation of Sha'are Orah, Yosef Gikatilla
[2] How The Hebrew Language Grew, Edward Horowitz
[3] Maskilon 1, Hebrew-English Dictionary based on Verb Roots, Abraham Solomonick and David Morrison

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Sunday, January 01, 2006


Remembering My Name
Pasuk For Lamed-Hey

Devarim 30:12
It is not in the heavens,
that I should say,
who can go up and get it for me
that I may observe it.

in the afterlife, each soul is asked its name
ליאורה חנה אלישבע בת צברה

Dumah - The Angel Of Silence
Tradition teaches that in the afterlife, the disembodied soul is asked its Hebrew name by Dumah, the angel of silence. Remembering one's name prevents a decay of consciousness and a return to nothingness. The rabbis say that the shock of dying causes amnesia to the soul, causing it to forget its name. Learning and memorizing a mnemonic device about one's name while still alive dispels this afterlife amnesia and helps the soul to remember its name, thereby preventing the decay of consciousness and the return to nothingness. The mnemonic device traditionally used is a pasuk (verse) in Torah that begins with the first letter and ends with the last letter of one's Hebrew name.

Chashmal - The Speaking Silence
The process of creating a messianic reality has 3 stages. These stages are chash (silence), mal (circumcision) and mal (speaking). Silence pertains to the soul's existence before it is given life in the physical world. The soul's primordial silence can be cut off (circumcised) during its time in the body by right-living. Right living enables the soul to progress through the 4 categories of being (domem, tzomeach, chai and medaber) within the natural world . Medaber pertains to one who has realized his or her potential as a human being and has become a speaking spirit. When the physical body dies, the soul's consciousness will decay and return once again to its primordial silence if it cannot remember its Hebrew name in the afterlife. A Hebrew name is integrally tied to its bearer's purpose in creation and destiny. Remembering and speaking one's Hebrew name confirms the soul's link to its eternal destiny and answers the angel Dumah, thereby silencing the silence. Having confirmed its reason for continued existence, the soul having the unique quality of being a medaber, is able to transform unrectified reality and sweeten it into a messianic reality.

You have 3 names: the name your parents bestow on you, the name by which others call you, and the name you earn for yourself through your conduct. Kohelet Rabbah 7:3

תני ג' שמות נקראו לאדם הזה אחד שקראו לו אביו ואמו ואחד שקראו לו אחרים ואחד שקראו לו בספר תולדות ברייתו

Dare to be true to yourself.