Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Bechirah Chofshit, Unspellbound

I dreamt.

A witch was carrying me like a mother bird [1] in her arms, flying through the air, taking me someplace. She was trying to lull me to sleep with the peacefulness of the flight. But, I only pretended to fall asleep as she carried me to some mysterious place - to see where she was taking me and to see what her intention was.

When she thought I was asleep, she entered a big mansion of a house [2] and deposited me on a bed in an upstairs bedroom. It was daylight outside. She was going to steal a drop of my blood [3] via a finger pinprick while I slept unaware (she thought)! Like hell! I thought.

I stopped pretending to be asleep and asked her what she was doing. "Oh," she said, discombobulated by my sudden wakefulness, "I just want a little drop of blood," she faltered. "For tests," she lied. I knew what she was really thinking. She thought that by getting a drop of my blood, she could bind [4], control and put spells on me.

"No," I said, "I'm not going to give you a drop of blood."

She dropped her friendly facade and told me to get out of the house since I wouldn't give her any of my blood. She didn't think I'd make it back safely to civilization, as she had astrally flown me through the air to the magical place. Walking, the monsters outside on the house grounds would get me, she thought with unfounded certainty.

Ha! I made it back. And the only creature who dared approach me as I walked back to civilization fled from me when I made a snarling face at it.

There's a Jewitch on the loose! was the news I heard flying through town, when the witch realized I hadn't been "taken care of" by the estate's guard monsters.

I woke up.


[1] Tzaftzaf צפצף can be interpreted to mean "chirp like a bird" and in the context of meditation, has been likened to the forbidden practice of necromancy (Meditation & The Bible, R' Aryeh Kaplan) . In other words, through "repetition" of some sound or action, the witch sought to cast a sleep spell. צפצף is also related to prophetic vision and tzofeh צופה, meaning "seer". The midrash and Talmud speak of a person near death whose soul "presses" (tzaftzaf) to leave the body and ascend. Redemption is also written to "break forth" (tzaftzaf, Shir Hashirim Rabbah on 6:10).

[2] Pharaoh comes from the word per-aä, which literally means the big house, i.e. the palace.

[3] The witch in this dream, who initially acted "motherly" but ended up wanting to steal a drop of blood, represents the epitome of galut (spiritual exile). R' Yitzchak Ginsburgh teaches: "The blood relates to the sefirah of binah, the mother-principle--'the mother gives her child the red [the blood].' The final and most extended exile, that exile referred to by the prophet as 'the sick exile is the exile of Edom', from the word 'red' (adom) and 'blood' (dam)." In other words, a true "mother" gives her blood to her children, she does not take blood from them.

[4] She was trying to bind my lifeforce to her will through a drop of blood. This may be one reason why Torah law forbids tatoos.

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The Transformation Of Pharaoh's Arrow

In my previous entry, I wrote about the arrow which killed King Yoshiyahu in battle with Pharaoh Necoh [1]. Having survived pharaoh's arrow [2], I have captured it and transformed it into a witch's mystical tool, my athame.

An athame is a ritual black handled double-edged magnetized blade used to direct metaphysical energy, kavanah and divine shefa during the mystical workings of a witch. It is never used to draw blood. It is a sacred ritual tool associated with the element of air (avir kadmon) [3] and balance.

It can never be "used" by anyone else. Once a witch has obtained and consecrated her athame, it can never be "deconsecrated". It is a witch's tool for the duration of her life. It is used to cast a ritual circle, to invoke, summon, consecrate, bind, banish, awaken, charge and enliven.

The word athame can be etymologically translated as "arrow". Consequently, pharaoh's arrow, meant to cripple and kill, has unwittingly provided me with the material from which I have crafted a witch's most prized possession - a metaphysical athame.

I am truly an initiated Jewitch (as in Jewish witch, not Wiccan) now.


[1] R' Yitzchak Ginsburgh, The Hebrew Letters, on the letter shin (p. 320)

[2] See fn.3 in previous entry (link above) regarding chemah/chomah and davah/hod.

[3] R' Yitzchak Ginsburgh on avir kadmon: "The word avir--"atmosphere" or "air"-- is composed of the three letters which spell or--"light"--together with a fourth letter, the letter yud. In Kabbalah we are taught that the or within avir represents the "impression" (reshimu) of the infinite light which shined before the primordial plan of creation (that light in which God "engraved" the plan). The yud represents the "impression" of the Divine plan itself."

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Monday, October 30, 2006

The Essence Of Teshuvah In The House Of David

Tzedek, tzedek we have pursued ... Devarim 16:20

In my previous entry, I wrote:

In the first dream "half" in the karmelis, the deathly-white spider was ripped in half. In this dream "half", in our private domain, the "baby", where the value of baby in hebrew is equivalent to "the shadow of death" [1], irretrievably disappears. Consequently, the two "halves" of the dream represent a progression whereby "death is removed" from our experience together.

The hebrew word for “half” is חץ, from the root חצץ, meaning to “separate” and “walling off”.

This morning's dream ח-לום was split into halves [2] צ-צ. The first half of the dream was likewise internally split in half by the presence of a thin “dividing wall” which protectively [3] “walled off” ח-ומה the space of the karmelis (where we were) from the reshut harabim (where others were). So, here I have a "halves within halves" - like a holograph containing the essence of the idea of “two halves”.

In kabbalah, we come across the idea of “halves” in analyses of the letter shin. With a gematria of 300, the letter shin represents 300 arrows, where in battle with Pharaoh Necoh [4], one “sharpened arrow” (חץ שנון) killed King Yoshiyahu, a righteous mashiach from the House of David.

From this data, we can see that the idea of “half” is connected and pivotal to the House of David and to mashiach ben David. In other words, one must pass the test of the splitting the shin to survive as an anointed one of the House of David. Moreover, splitting the shin into "halves" is the critical assay regarding fitness with respect to the transition from ben Yosef (Yesod) to ben David (Malchut). In other words, if the “halving” is successful, mashiach ben David from the House of David lives. If not, he dies.

In my dream, the shadow of death (in the baby symbolism) is dealt death forever (irretrievably). Not my bashert, who lives.


[1] The gematria of baby תינוק is 566, the same gematria as "shadow of death" צלמות (Tehilim 23:4).

[2] Tzedek elyon and tzedek tachton (Sha'are Orah, R' Yosef Gikatilla); and the "bodies" of tzadik and tzedeket in the Presence of the Shechinah.

[3] See Chozeret B'Teshuvah (fn. 3) regarding chemah/chomah and davah/hod. The dream immediately followed anger arising from being within a public place.

[4] R' Yitzchak Ginsburgh, The Hebrew Letters, on the letter shin (p. 320)

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Nesi'at Hafachim

Dealing Death To The Shadow Of Death

There is no reshus harabim in this world, but there will be in the future to come ... Resh Lakish

In the next half of the previous dream, my bashert and I were in our private home, a reshut hayachid [1], together. I was washing the dishes in the kitchen sink. He was wandering about the house doing other things.

While I was washing the dishes, a baby old enough to hold a bottle of milk on its own, was sitting in a baby seat on the floor behind me, nursing on a bottle of milk. (I didn't bottle feed any of my kids in real life.)

My bashert wandered into the kitchen. I was finished with the dishes and turned around to see the baby seat overturned, and the "stuff" that had been with the baby (blanket, bottle, etc.) scattered in the corner. The baby had disappeared irretrievably into thin air.

Oh well. We can always make a different baby [2].

In the first dream "half" in the karmelis, the deathly-white spider was ripped in half. In this dream "half", in our private domain, the "baby", where the value of baby in hebrew is equivalent to "the shadow of death" [3], irretrievably disappears. Consequently, the two "halves" of the dream represent a progression whereby "death is removed" from our experience together. A progression from reshut harabim to karmelis to reshut hayachid is also evident in the dream. The dream was distinctly separated into two "halves"; the first half having both the reshut harabim and the karmelis in it, and the second half only having the reshut hayachid in it. I'm still thinking about what this detail might mean.


[1] Interestingly, in the previous dream, there was a thin wall which separated the "karmelis" (located on my left) from the community home (located on my right), which in my mind, was a reshut harabim. The idea formed in my mind that it was a reshut harabim. This article helps me to understand why I saw it that way (as a reshut harabim). A detail of my dream which I didn't mention previously, but which was nevertheless present, is that the main room was open on both ends (Resh Lakish). The main room in the previous dream was mefulash - open at the "up" and "down" (Netzach and Hod, Sefer Yetzirah 1:13) positions in space (relative to me).

[2] kruv, "is from Aramaic and means "as a baby."

[3] The gematria of baby תינוק is 566, the same gematria as "shadow of death" צלמות (Tehilim 23:4).

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Cosmic Rendezvous

Part of my dream this morning:

I was with my bashert. I can't recall seeing his face, but I knew that he was my bashert.

We were in a side storage area off the "main place" where the other people were located in the dream. The storage place was also like an alternative reality [1].

The area was somewhat "secret" in that it wasn't in a public area. It was more private, separated from, yet adjacent to, the main area. The main area wasn't our private home. It was more like a community home, making the storage area something of a karmelis [1].

My bashert and I were sneaking some time together there, away from people. But, there was a huge white spider עכביש the color of death [1] in the place. I couldn't relax, even though the spider was not seemingly "after me". But, I wasn't convinced that it wasn't after me. I kept thinking - if I let it out of my sight, it will jump on me. The thought made me nervous, very nervous. I couldn't concentrate with it lurking around.

Ok. My bashert grabbed the huge deathly-white spider and tried to flush it down a toilet. But, the spider kept escaping the bowl and jumping out. I just couldn't deal with a huge deathly-white spider roaming about. I couldn't concentrate on having a rendezvous with it around.

Ok. My bashert grabbed the spider for the last time and ripped it in half with his bare hands. Then he flushed it down the toilet and out of my world.

Now, I could concentrate on our rendezvous together. Ok, now.


[1] Samhain (sundown October 31 - November 1) marks the time when the veil between worlds is the thinnest. Thus, this dream notes the "adjacent reality" (the karmelis) separated from "primary reality" by a thin wall.

[2] Interestingly, spiders eat each other when grown in the same environment. For this reason, spiders are not "farmed" for mass manufacturing of silk even though a fiber of spider silk can remarkably be stretched 4-6 times its length without breaking. (see link above)

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Saturday, October 28, 2006

Raising The Cup Of Redemption

ואין ים אלא תורה
Sefer HaBahir, verse 3 excerpt

Traditional interpretation: "The sea is nothing other than Torah."

"From whose womb came the ice?" Hashem famously challenges Iyov (38:29) with this question. In fact, Hashem rants quite a bit in perek 38 and in the next one as well. Sheesh.

And naturally, Iyov, unable to answer Hashem's challenging queries, puts his hand over his mouth (40:4) and basically "shuts up." Let's get one thing straight right now. This is not Liorah's style, ok?

I'll answer Hashem with an answer. Hashem can save the power display for someone who might be impressed. Give an ear Hashem, and listen.

The phrase - מבטן מי, יצא הקרח (from whose womb formed the ice) - has a combined total gematria of 555. The numerals of this gematria are 3 letters hei ה. In other words, the essence of the question and its solution rests within the realm of the completely feminine.

The realm of the completely feminine is in the left emanation. Consequently, the 3 letters hei represent Binah (of the completely feminine "left" pillar) in the 3 universes of Assiyah, Yetzirah and Beriyah.

Importantly, the ice "formed" (יצא) in my drinking vessel (cup of redemption, Tehilim 116:13) and remained stable in my dream this shabbat morning in consequence to complete rectification of Binah throughout all previously "broken" levels of existence (Assiyah, Yetzirah and Beriyah). In my dream, the sodapop represented a water (Torah wisdom) blend of the 3 lower universes. Similarly, in my dream, the pure water represented Torah wisdom of Atzilut. Taken together, the Torah I am being given to drink originates in Atzilut, as opposed to in any of the lower universes.

From my womb came the ice capable of absorbing the wisdom of Atzilutic Torah. And, from my bashert comes the water.

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Rectified Binah & My Sephardic Connection

I dreamt.

I was in a cafeteria line (seder) gathering up a meal (shulchan oruch). There was a cauldron [1] of beef [2] and noodles [3]. I tried to dip with the cauldron's ladle [4] to get a portion of mostly noodles for myself. I tried to get mostly noodles (since I like noodles) and just a little bit of meat (since I'm not a big meat-eater).

Everytime I attempted to do it, nearly all of the noodles would fall off the ladle spoon and alot of meat would somehow manage to work itself up onto the ladle spoon. I would dump the spoon and retry again. This would happen each time I tried, so that I each time I ended up with mostly meat and very few or no noodles on the ladle spoon. That meat had kavanah! by golly!

The people behind me in the line were getting impatient. Ok, fine! I dumped the next ladle full of meat onto my thin paper [5] plate. It looks like I'm going to have to eat meat.

Next, I came to the soda fountain. I filled my large styrofoam cup up with ice, then with cola. As I started to put my cup of sodapop onto my cafeteria tray, all of the cola in my cup disappeared. The ice [6] remained. Only the cola vanished. I filled my cup up again with sodapop. Again, the cola disappeared. Ok, fine! I'll drink water.

I filled up my cup with water. The water didn't disappear. I moved on down the line and found a seat at a table in the cafeteria.

I woke up.


[1] The cauldron symbolizes the Divine Feminine principle, the power of transformation and the "place" where Divine Knowledge and Inspiration (Hashra'ah) are brewed. See Samhain as the Scholars' Festival for women.

[2] Ashkenazi custom (Vilna Gaon) prohibits roasted meat at a seder, but Sephardi custom does not necessarily prohibit it. This detail of my dream suggests that I may also have some Sephardic ancestry (through my paternal Native American ancestry perhaps, or even through my maternal Jewish-British family line, the Grunwalds, since I've only assumed the entire Grunwald clan to be Ashkenazi because they came from England). It could also mean that my bashert has some Sephardic ancestry as well.

[3] Noodles are usually found in kugel dishes over pesach and shabbat. Also, lokshen (noodles) is a Yiddish term, where Yiddish is an Ashkenazic phenomenon. Consequently, given the "pot roasting meat" over "noodles", the dream is deliberately pointing out a Sephardic connection to me (see fn. 2).

[4] A ladle is likened to a Torah scholar. Sanhedrin 52b, perek dalet mitot. (see fn. 1 above)

[5] Samhain (sundown October 31 - November 1) marks the time when the veil between worlds is the thinnest.

[6] See Zohar #301. "If water is poured on them (the ice, like in my dream), the ice absorbs it. By the waters turning into ice, they have become a vessel to receive additional waters." In my dream, the ice remained as a vessel upon which water was accepted, but the sodapop was rejected and disappeared. Consequently, this detail of the dream speaks to the purity of my "ice vessel" to accept only pure water (of Atzilutic Torah and shefa) and to discern correctly (as ice "originates" from Binah). In other words, the dream is confirming that the Binah acting within my dreams is rectified Binah.

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Celebrating The Sacred Feminine

Samhain, the holy day of the Ancestors, is observed [1] from sundown October 31 through November 1. Samhain honors the dark Divine Feminine, the "dark half" of the year, marks the onset of winter, and is the Celtic New Year.

As a time when one cycle ends and a new one begins, Celtic tradition teaches that the veil separating the manifest world from the supernal realms is particularly thin and open during Samhain. In consequence to the "break" in the flow of time, Samhain is an opportunity for profound mystical transformation. Like Lag B'Omer, mystical bonfires have a role in the observance of Samhain.

The word Samhain derives from the Proto-Celtic word samani, which means "assembly" (cognate to Sanskrit sámana). [2] The Hebrew equivalent to Samhain is the word כינוס from the root כנס meaning "assembling", "gathering" and "bringing together". This root is found in Tehilim 147:2 ...

"The L-rd rebuilds Jerusalem; She gathers in the exiles of Israel."

:בונה ירושלם יהוה; נדחי ישראל יכנס

The first word in this pasuk is "boneh" בונה from the same root as Binah, a feminine sefirah of the "dark" left emanantion. Literally, the first part of this pasuk reads like a command "build Jerusalem Hashem!" The Divine She is She who commands it be done.

Thus, the secret of Samhain, a holy day of proto-Celtic origin, is mystically connected to the commands to rebuild Jerusalem and to ingather the exiles. Moreover, these commands are directly related to the "dark" Divine Feminine principle, which indeed, Samhain celebrates.

Also, given the bonfire connection to both Lag B'Omer and Samhain, and where Lag B'Omer is called the "Scholars' Festival" (pertaining to men), I hereby dedicate Samhain to be the "Scholars' Festival" (pertaining to women).


[1] see here for date for astronomical Samhain

[2] W. Stokes in KZ 40:245 (1907), see here

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Friday, October 27, 2006

The Immutable Promise

ואין ים אלא תורה
Sefer HaBahir, verse 3 excerpt

Traditional interpretation: "The sea is nothing other than Torah."

The 4 words of this excerpt have a combined gematria of 760, the same gematria as the single word שנית, meaning " a second time" and "again". One finds the word שנית in Bereshit 22:15, where the malach calls to Avraham "a second time" to bless him from place Avraham named Hashem Yirah, following the ordeal of akeidah.

I can't help but link this "second time blessing" with the "blessing of a second time" given to me as I "came down" from my G-d encounter in 1967. A promise given to me. And no one, no one, absolutely no one, can take it from me. Not a prophet. Not a judge. Not a great tzadik. Not a malach. Not even G-d. It's an immutable decree already spoken. You can't destroy my life and rip it from my destiny.

Deal with it. Or not.

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Thursday, October 26, 2006

Why 'Walking On Fire'?

Given the recent posts regarding blog names, to explain the title of my blog, livejournal and website, this is just a blurb regarding the significance of Walking On Fire.

I choose the name Walking On Fire in consideration of my longstanding obsession with the idea (R' Adin Steinsaltz, In The Beginning) that:

The purpose of creation and of our being in it is to integrate the worlds of tohu and tikun into a third order of existence much greater than either tohu or tikun of itself.

Supporting this endeavor, R' Aryeh Kaplan on Sefer Yetzirah 3:2 writes:

One commentator states that the letters AMSh אמש contain the mystery through which one can walk on fire [1]. The reason for this may be because these letters [2] have the power to reconcile opposites. It is possible that Rav Zeira made use of this technique to prevent his feet from being burned in fire, as related in the Talmud [3].

Given that my blog's purpose is to reconcile the opposites of tohu and tikun in my own nature, I decided "walking on fire" would help me to realize that dream. Thus, my website (1st), blog (2nd) and livejournal (3rd) Walking On Fire were born.


[1] Saadia B. ad loc, Sefer HaChaim

[2] the mother letters, אמש

[3] Bava Metzia 85b

related writings: imos hakeriah & the divine name Ehevi

Rain Dropped Here Too

Interesting. The Dry Bones Blog posts:

Last night we were hit with a series of lightning-packed cloudbursts of driving rain. The electricity went out, the streets and traffic lights went dark.

He also posted a cartoon about rain from 1996, the year I returned to Torah. Given my dream last night, maybe all the electricity jumped a short way on over into my dream to hang out for a bit. Oops.

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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Kli Hashem & The Mashpi'im

I dreamt.

My kids and I were sitting around a round table in our house in a mystical village outside of time. There was a bowl-like vessel in the middle of the wooden table into which we could draw water. I focused [1] to examine [2] our vessel more closely to see it more truthfully. Our vessel was not really a bowl - it looked like a minature water fountain with a protuberance in the center (emtza) [3] of it like one might see in a park, only it didn't have any water in it until we drew the water down.

Mostly, we drew (mashpi'im) the water down drop by drop through the motions of our lifted hands (a pintele fun oybin, a pintele fun untin) [3] in the air around it. In this manner (nesi'at kapayim), as mekubalim-kohanim, we would "form" the path each drop took. The drops of mystical water would fall focused onto the protuberance in the center of the vessel.

We were experimenting with how the whole dynamic of water drawing worked. As we put our hands into the air near the vessel when it had water in it, currents of energy [4] were drawn from our hands toward the water. I told my kids to be careful because we weren't quite sure how the process worked yet and the energy currents coming from us were powerful and could be dangerous if uncontrolled.

So, we experimented with the position of our water vessel, our hands and the drops of water as they fell into our place from beyond the periphery of the dream. At times, one of us would draw a bit more water and a whole big bunch of water would drop down, eliciting a "concentrated jumping" (dilug v' kefitzah) arc of powerful energy from the awesome current which flowed all through our bodies (which typically concentrated into our hands).

Oops. We didn't want to create an explosion by allowing the opposite forces (of water and fire) to come together too chaotically, in an uncontrolled manner. Our actions were shaping a "controlled chaos". In other words, with the water, we brought down and formed the great light of Tohu, and effectively "contained it" in a vessel of Tikun.

We were trying to make peace (oseh shalom) between and meld the forces together harmoniously, bit by bit, drop by drop. It was easy to do with the drops, and a more dangerous endeavor to try with large amounts of water, as the water elicited an equal "measured" response from the current running through our bodies.

It required skill to work with large amounts of water and energy, a skill which we were new to developing. So, we continued to work with small drops, and only occassionally would one of us draw down a bit more water. We were getting better at controlling the dynamical process of "water drawing" and working with the energy within us.

As we sat around our table, we heard an explosion from another house in the village. It was from a house next door where a woman lived there alone. She had been given a water bowl too. Her experiments had gotten out of her control, causing her bowl of water and the energy reaction to blow up in her face. She wasn't dead, the rescue workers told us as they raced by our house, but she was critically injured and burned badly. Nobody was sure if she'd survive the blast or not.

I woke up.


[1] "The ability to guard and focus one's sight correctly is the rectified "sense" of sight." (R. Yitzchak Ginsburgh) Rectified sight is associated with the 3 tribes of camp of Reuben - Reuben, Simeon and Gad - all situated in the south (see Possessing The Sea & The South).

[2] The ability to examine to discern truth and falsehood is a power of Binah.

[3] "What is an alef?" The Alter Rebbe continued melodically in Yiddish: "A pintele fun oybin, a pintele fun untin, a kav b'emtza-[The alef is] a dot above, a dot below, and a diagonal line suspended in between." Letters Of Light, Alef - The Difference Between Exile & Redemption, R' Aaron L. Raskin

[4] Here, in these currents (see link above), rests the power to harness the physical soul to effect change and influence reality.

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Torch Of Truth

when facts tell lies and confusion reigns
when knowledge and ignorance with futility dance
when hope is dying and faith is failing
truth remains

when pain is endless and pleasure empty
when will lies heavy like stone and clarity is obscured
when wisdom reeks and reason flees
truth remains

when the heart staggers broken
with shattered strength and love drowns lost in the abyss
truth remains

when darkness reverberates blindly
and eternity is filled with hell
truth remains

when life is crushing and all is torn, when hiding cannot conceal
and wretching waters burn the naked dust
truth remains

when the pause is pregnant like a rock of hate against us
truth remains

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Time Warp, Lech Lecha

I dreamt.

I was among many in a "community house". We were preparing for some journey to a "new place", up and across a mystical field. It was a clean place we were going to go to. A safe place.

The place we were leaving was on the verge of dying. For us. Nothing looked out of the ordinary in the moment, but it seemed surreal somehow. The feeling of the place from which we were leaving reminds me now of the movie "The Langoliers", where "the world is deadened and lifeless and of a past moment in the timestream, and that moment's time is running out."

For some reason, we were cleaning up the house before we left it for the inhabitants who would possess it after we left. Some of us did the dishes. We could take a small travel sack, but for the most part, we were to leave with just the clothes on our backs. Everything we had in this world was basically useless to us where we were going. And contaminated.

I opened my closet to take out a few of my skirts. I had alot of pretty skirts I wanted to take. But, the community leader told me I could only take what would fit into my sack and couldn't take anything that had not been in the closet (protected from the "dyingness" which I could sense was only "away" from us by a matter of warped dis-aligned moments). The time warp shielded us from the deadness which really was part of the place we were leaving. And, while our bodies and the clothes we were wearing were protected, our "extra stuff" somehow which was "made of" the material of the place we were leaving was not. For that reason, only the clothes were we wearing and the clothes in the closet were "clean". For us.

For those who would come to inhabit the house after us, it wasn't a problem. It was only a problem for us. We had to go.

I put a skirt or two into my sack and prepared for my turn to be taken to the new clean, safe place. We were taken out of the old place and relocated into the new place in very small guided groups.

I woke up.

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Na'aseh v'Nishma

שנאמר ומלא ברכת ב' ים ודרום ירשה
Sefer HaBahir, verse 3 excerpt

Traditional interpretation: "Because it is written (Devarim 33:23): The filling is G-d's blessing possessing the Sea and the South."

The 3 words meaning "possessing the sea and the south" - ים ודרום ירשה - have a combined gematria of 821, the same gematria as the word והשקית meaning "and you shall give her to drink" as found in Bamidbar 20:8.

The verse in Bamidbar which contains the word והשקית is speaking to the incident where Moshe alone produced "water from the rock" by striking it. But, Hashem had commanded that Moshe and Aaron do this together. Herein lies the failure - Moshe acted without the participation of Aaron in the actual drawing of water from the rock. Consequently, the waters brought forth quarreling and strife, as opposed to bringing forth waters of chasidim (generally of the south), specifically those of chasdei David hane'emanim.

The word for rock in Bamidbar is from the root סלע which means an "elevated rock". What is an "elevated rock"? It is a state of being "humanly" silent. In other words, it is a human being unable to express him or herself as an Image of the Divine.

Tradition teaches that there are 4 "states of being": sela, eitz, tzvi, ben-adam.

Domem, Nefesh, Chai, Medaber
Silent, Living, Animated, Speaking
a rock, a tree, a deer, a human being

Consequently, Moshe and Aaron (the north-left and south-right powers) were to act in harmony (from the middle column) to "give her" (the congregation and its animals) water to drink. In other words, had they done this correctly, the "rocks" (those unable to express themselves) would have been "opened" and placed upon the way to becoming "speaking spirits" (medaberim) in a spiritually expressive sense. The paths (netivot) to individuation and actualizating uniqueness while maintaining achdut would have been revealed and opened to all.

Thus, the 3 words of this phrase - ים ודרום ירשה - are referring to "opening souls to Divine expression".

A woman by design is "of the north". To become opened properly she must become elevated to "possess the sea and the south". In other words, she must come to the position of malchut in atzilut, which unifies the gevurot and chasidim in the place where no evil exists.

I once wrote a poem called "Shmuel" (G-d hears and understands) about the caveman "David", who by tapping and banging on the rock all around with two sticks, produced coherent "human" speech from a cavewoman (me). It was the first human speech heard on the face on the earth. And when the first words flew through, we were both struck dumb! (with wonder at the idea of communicating and understanding one another, of course) And of course, I knew he was thinking, "are you talking to me?" It was a really cool dream.

And the first human words uttered were ...

what! are you trying to do?

Puts a whole new spin to the words - na'aseh v'nishma - "we will do and understand", doesn't it?

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חבה The Secret Primal Language

שנאמר ומלא ברכת ב' ים ודרום ירשה
Sefer HaBahir, verse 3 excerpt

Traditional interpretation: "Because it is written (Devarim 33:23): The filling is G-d's blessing possessing the Sea and the South."

As I wrote in my previous entry regarding the acute accented letter beit 'ב, which stands alone in this excerpt:

The verse quoted here in this excerpt is from Devarim 33:23, where the tetragrammaton (written out in the Torah verse) is typically denoted by 'ה in seforim. However, in the Kaplan hebrew text, the accented letter 'ב in the excerpt above appears as chet with an acute accent 'ח.

The 3 letters playing musical chairs here are חבה, where חבה means "hide", and "secret". What is "hiding" is a "secret" primal language, a language I have spoken. More importantly, it is a secret language I remember speaking. Here is a story I have written describing speaking this secret language, both prior to incarnation and following birth.

A Story Of Quantum Consciousness - Odr & Me

Once upon time, You and I walked together.

See what I am doing. Look here. See what I am making. Edges. i see what You are making. i see edges. What are edges?

Look. See what edges are doing. Looking, i see what edges are doing. What do edges feel like? Ohh! to feeeel edges! to feel edges against edges! to know edges!

Look. See. See edges against edges. These will be your edges and edges. This is what edges will do. Look and see.

i don't have the strength. i can't do it.

I will do it. I will carry you through it, to it that swallows all pain, the brightening and the brilliance.

How wonderful the things for me i see. Yes! Yes! Edges to feel! Wonderful edges with wonderful things to do!

i could remember thinking a doing things, but my senses did retain perceptions, although a smell would remain within me, marking their actuality. i was unable to fully form and hold onto the ideas that existed in my mind.

Ohhh! to remember the feel of my edges!

Like a hug all me loosened. In an instant, my eyes could see. i was startled and amazed at the impact of remembering whole perceptions. i felt in existence.

How wonderful! This beautiful mo-ment in time!

My mother walking away, toward the yellow and white thing, opening it to pull out a cloth for my bottom. Mother! Mother! i can see!

But words as I had spoken with You would not form in my mouth of edges. Realizing that for as much as definition was desirable, for the first time, i felt limit. Turning around to speak ... but i could not turn around in remembering edges! i turned my head instead.

Ohhh! no! i can feel and hear You, but i cannot see You!

I am here.

i did not understand! i want to come home! i want to come home!

you have edges to feel and do, do you remember?

Yes, i remember how i saw with You.

you will never be alone.

But i cannot see You in this world of edges! And i will not feel and hear You always as i do now, i fear. i want to come home!

Do not fear. I will bring you home. Home is forward. Go. I will never leave you alone. Smell what I feel like. Remember. I will bring you home. I promise. Remember. I will always be with you. Remember and do not be afraid. Look at all the wonderful edges I have made ...

i turned and looked into the room, and tried to speak with my mouth of edges ... yes, i see ...

... ... ... and i remember still today that you will carry me through it, to it ... the brightening and the brilliance.

story reposted from my website and blog

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Enigma Of A Female Mystic Mansion

שנאמר ומלא ברכת ב' ים ודרום ירשה
Sefer HaBahir, verse 3 excerpt

Traditional interpretation: "Because it is written (Devarim 33:23): The filling is G-d's blessing possessing the Sea and the South."

The verse quoted here in this excerpt is from Devarim 33:23, where the tetragrammaton (written out in the Torah verse) is typically denoted by 'ה in seforim. However, in the Kaplan hebrew text, the accented letter 'ב in the excerpt above appears as chet with an acute accent 'ח.

Yehudi mentions in his copy of the Bahir (Mosad HaRav Kook), the accented letters are "a ב the first time (in the beginning of the verse) but later with a ה," but then he provides the hebrew verse (up to this excerpt) from the Kook version where the letter in question is a beit as follows:

ומפני מה התחיל התורה בבי"ת כמה דאתחיל ברכה ומנלן דהתורה נקראת ברכה, שנאמר (דברים ל"ג כ"ג) ומלא ברכת ב' ים ודרום ירשה

So, there is something being hidden in the musical chairs these 3 letters (חבה) are playing with the accented letters in this verse. חבה by the way means "hide", "secret".

an enigma, an absurdity
stringing some strange emptiness, a holy madness bursting full
unfolding favor
like a parchment endlessly, darkly brilliant
surely able, between nothing and one, a no-man's land
is the palace of a female mystic mansion, where only night senses
one mind effacing piles and piles of chaos softly
upon which this
breathes that
through and through, collapsing eternally
into an ever reverberating lifeforce
hovering plosive pivots of unuttered tradition set free
drunk without distinction, some wine of the timeless time to come
a martial art, utter clarity
running and returning, iterating
feminine mystery communicating all goodness, like a key
ever beyond sound, yet still peacefully permeating script
one essential mark
above without end, below without bound

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Monday, October 23, 2006

Tzemach & Immersive Hashra'ah

שנאמר ומלא ברכת ב' ים ודרום ירשה
Sefer HaBahir, verse 3 excerpt

Traditional interpretation: "Because it is written (Devarim 33:23): The filling is G-d's blessing possessing the Sea and the South."

ברכת has a gematria of 622 and a digit sum of echad. The value 622 represents the 620 mitzvot contained within the unity of keter, together with the "two companions who never separate" [1].

Derived from the root ברך meaning "power growth", it carries the same meaning as the name Tzemach, צמח which pertains to growth.

Combining these two "growing" words together and performing some creative permutations, we have the phrase sequence:

צב רם כח -> mobilize, elevate and bring to life, exert creative power

The above sequence corresponds dynamically to concept of hashra'ah, and to its associated levels of immersive creative power: ohr, chayut and koach.


[1] Zohar 3:4a; R' Yitzchak Ginsburgh, The Hebrew Letters (p. 49)

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Tafsaret, A Rare Kind Of Sacred Scribe

Torah Of Chesed, Neshamah. The Hebrew word ishah (אישה), meaning woman, is thought to be derived from the root word anash (אנש), meaning to "cause weakness" [1]. However, the neshamah of ishah may come into revelation and expression through the root חשה, meaning "quiet" and/or "refrain from expression or movement" [2].

Supporting this is the consideration that the word חשאי (derived from the root חשה) means "silently" and contains the letters of the word ishah, except that the ה of ishah is a ח in the word "silently". Thus, ishah describes a situation where a "once silent woman" (unable to express Torah) becomes opened (ה <- ח) to expressing it dimly through the lower hey of malchut, without the upper hey of binah (expressive "secret" understanding). This transformation of woman is enabled through a man's mitzvah of brit milah, circumcision of the flesh, being credited to the account of his true bashert.

Torah Of Life, Chayah. Yet evolving from there comes itta (אתתא), the chayah of isha. Itta, a word also meaning woman, is derived from Aramaic. Itta describes a unique situation, one where a woman can express the secret mysteries of Torah: from ת <- א and from א <- ת , from keter to malchut (Ekyeh) and from malchut to keter (Asher Ekyeh), with both the attribute of mercy (ת <- א) and the attribute of justice (א <- ת). This evolution includes and encompasses all the mitzvot of Torah, both the positive mitzvot (ת <- א) and the negative mitzvot (א <- ת) into one mitzvah equal to all the mitzvot (ner Hashem nishmat adamah). This is the Torah of Life through which all the souls of Israel are interconnected. The sanctified avodah of itta connects the Torah of Chesed with the Torah of Truth through the Torah of Life.

Torah Of Truth, Yechidah. Avodah performed bitul bimtzuit mamash fully draws out the itta transformation through a woman's mitzvot of challah, niddah and hadlikat nerot (ChaNaH). These mitzvot pertain to the circumcisions of the lips, ears and heart and ultimately complete the unification of the Torah of Chesed, the Torah of Life and the Torah of Truth to redeem the Divine Spark of yechidah into action and into the world of assiyah. This is the revelation of the Light of Torah and "shines from the good mouth" of the faithful one made in the Divine Image.

Torah Temimah, Tafsaret. The redemption of the Divine Spark, the unification within Torah, and revelation of the Light of Torah is represented by the three tagim on each ט of tafsaret, טפסרט, the vessel of emunah (the unifying spark of Moshe in every Jewish soul).

Tafsaret is a rare kind of Hebrew scribe with roots clear through into Sumerian mystery. From the language of ancient Sumer, סר means "write". טף means "board" [1]. The Hebrew verb root סרט carries the meanings of "script", "a tool for designing" and "marking" [2]. Tafsaret contains within its letters the letters of the root (ספר) of sofer (סופר, scribe). Yet tafsaret also contains two letters ט in addition to the letters which comprise the root word (ספר). These two letters ט have a combined gematria of 18 (חי) - where הי refers redemptively to chayah and yechidah. These encompassing and unifying soul levels thereby impart "unifying life" into the scribal writing of tafsaret.

With a gematria of 358 tafsaret טפסרט is the rectification of the attribute of judgment and of the nachash, the primordial snake. The unrectified nachash is the source of deceiving grace, the fear of insanity, the inability to discern truth, and blemishes of the sexual impulse.

Unification, Ekyeh asher Ekyeh. The Good of Torah is revealed through the unification of mercy (ת <- א) and justice (א <- ת) through itta. Raised together "above the wood", these attributes are transformed into the unified essential attributes of truth and favor. This is the secret of the akeidah. Truth and favor are the primary consciousnesses of the Written Torah and the Oral Torah, respectively. Thus, the Written Torah and the Oral Torah are unified to reveal truth and favor through the the holy letters of all that will be, will be (א <- ת and א <- ת). Ekyeh asher Ekyeh. A woman with a name.

We can now better understand ishah to represent woman in a generic sense, as a woman without a name, and a woman without a deep sense of her own personal story. In contradistinction to ishah, itta represents a woman with a deep unique true sense of her own personal story, a woman who has expressively claimed her deepest unique true identity and destiny - her unique name. Itta is a woman who has awakened to essential personhood and writes in her own name. An ever-evolving name.

ליאורהּ חנה אלישבע צברה בת אהוביה ואדרו
Liorah Chanah Elishaba Tsabrah bat Ahuvyah v'Adaru

This is the feminine path of a sacred scribe, טפסרט, the evolution of woman and contains the secret to actualizing Echad.


[1] Edward Horowitz, How The Hebrew Language Grew

[2] R' Matityahu Clark, Etymological Dictionary Of Biblical Hebrew

reposted from Evolution Of Woman blog entry & my website page, Tafsaret

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Dare to be true to yourself.