Secrets In My Soul

ז' בכסלו תשס"ח

In my previous post regarding the legacy of my grandmother Gladys Ruth Faulkner-Collins, daughter of Elizabeth Grunwald-Faulkner and George Samuel Faulkner, and granddaughter of Sue Turner-Grunwald and Will Grunwald, I noted that my grandmother has four daughters, each daughter corresponding to one of the Jewish matriarchs - Sarah, Rivkah, Leah and Rachel.

My mother, as the third daughter of my grandmother, corresponds to the matriarch Leah. I am my mother's only daughter, just as Dinah the daughter of Leah, is Yaakov's only recorded daughter. Thus, from this perspective, my particular soul has a significant root in the soul of Dinah (as well as Ruth and Leah roots).

My grandmother, Gladys Ruth, was born in Rosebud, IL. I, containing the soul of Dinah, the only recorded daughter of Yaakov and Leah, was born in Danville, IL.

From a second perspective, both Sue and Will Grunwald were observant Jews by family oral history. There is nothing in our family oral history to suggest that Sue was not born Jewish, and both reportedly lived Jewishly. Nevertheless, let's consider that Sue may have been a convert (as opposed to a "born" Jew), and correspond Sue Grunwald to Ruth, a central name given to my grandmother Gladys.

Ruth is the great grandmother of King David and great great grandmother of King Solomon. Sue is the great grandmother of my mother Cheryl and my great great grandmother. Thus, from this perspective, my particular soul has a significant root in the soul of King Solomon (as well as Ruth, Leah and Yaakov, and Dinah). Interestingly, Solomon's name in Hebrew is a feminine form - שלמה.

Taking all this together, the dynamic relationships in my family tree suggest that my particular Jewish soul contains the soul sparks of Ruth, Leah, Yaakov, Dinah, King David and King Solomon (where Mashiach ben David represents tikkun of the nachash). Of these 6 sparks, those of Dinah and King Solomon emerge as 2 significant sparks of my own soul's Jewish particularity.

The dabak is in the details.

Grunwald Family Surname Found Among Hungarian Budapest Jewry

ב׳ באדר תשע"ב
Keowulf 4
Ash 7

This article on Malchiel Gruenwald is evidence to support the recent genetic result I received of having Budapest Hungarian Ashkenazic Jewish ancestry. It is known in my family that on my mother's mother's side we have a Jewish Grunwald family line. Grunwald is a Jewish surname still found among Hungarian Jews of Budapest (at least it was before the Holocaust).

Quote from the article "although Gruenwald's own relatives were not so lucky: a third brother Philip, director of the Jewish Museum, was one of a number of Jews killed by Hungarian authorities in Budapest ..."

Philip Grunwald, this man's brother, lived in the Budapest Jewish community. Malchiel and Philip Grunwald had another brother, so while Malchiel ended up in Israel, and Philip was murdered in the Holocaust, I don't know what happened to the other brother or to the rest of the Grunwalds in Budapest, who may, in some way, be related to me.

"Hungary's pre-war Jewish population was 800,000, of which 180,000 survived."

Hungary: Jewish Family History Research Guide

The Pledge Of Yaakov & Eliyahu

י"ט באייר תשס"ז

In a previous entry, Wedge 226 - Greensburg Not Grunwald Destroyed, I noted how the devastating series of wedge tornados in Kansas this past Friday and Saturday were connected to my Grunwald Jewish ancestry (Grunwald is Greenfield in English), my reversal ritual (black bridge), a birth analysis on myself (kin 226), and to the messianic idea contained within the phrase vayekhulu hashamayim which emerged from that analysis (where the phrase is rooted in the letters vav-hei, corresponding to the values 6 and 5, respectively). I further noted that the only structure left standing in the entire town was the local tavern called Bar H.

The fact that Bar H (בר ה) was the sole structure left standing when the wind passed by is also significant to this week's Torah portion (Behar-Bechukotai) and to messianic consciousness.

First, Bar H is a permutation of Behar (בהר), the first section of this week's reading.

Second, in Bechukotai (Vayikra 26:42), the second section of this week's reading, the name Yaakov is found spelled with a vav (ו). Of this Rashi writes:

This is one of only five places in Scripture where Yaakov's name (יעקוב) is spelled with a vav; conversely, Eliyahu's name appears five times without a vav (אליה instead of אליהו). Yaakov took a "pledge" from Eliyahu, as it were, and will return the missing letters to him when he heralds the coming of Messiah.

As in my previous entries, here again, in Bar H, the lone structure which still stands among the ruins despite efforts to destroy it, are the values of 6 and 5, vav and hei - like in my birthday analysis and the messianic phrase vayekhulu hashamayim which emerged from it.

Third, Bar H has a gematria of 207, with a digit sum of 9, where 9 corresponds to tet (ט), the only vessel fit to receive it. This is my birthright as a descendant of William and Elizabeth Grunwald, despite those who would like to deny it, and despite those who would like to destroy it.

Nine died in this tragedy. May their families somehow be comforted. Amen.
ברוך דיין האמת

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Mesorah Of The River Mnemosyne

י'ט בחשון תשס"ח

My maternal grandmother, Gladys Collins-Faulkner, granddaughter of Sue Turner-Grunwald and Will Grunwald, daughter of Elizabeth Grunwald-Faulkner and George Samuel Faulkner, mother of Cheryl Collins-Taylor and grandmother to Liorah Lleucu HaMasovevet, passed over early this morning of Samhain, Ram Cheshvan 19, האלון full of years at the age of 92.

Mnemosyne was also the name for a river in Hades, counterpart to the river Lethe, according to a series of 4th century BC Greek funerary inscriptions in dactylic hexameter. Dead souls drank from Lethe so they would not remember their past lives when reincarnated. Initiates were encouraged to drink from the river Mnemosyne when they died, instead of Lethe. These inscriptions may have been connected with a private mystery religion, or with Orphic poetry. (Wiki on Mnemosyne, Titan Goddess of Memory and Inventor of Words, One of three or four Elder Muses and Mother of nine Younger Muses.)

As a Mother of Eternal Life and a Mother of Muses, in the pure family tradition and mesorah of natural witches, may my grandmother, as I did preincarnately (described here and here), drink from Achdut, the River of Eternal Memory, the River Mnemosyne, and remember. Remember!

We are One.

I love you Grandma. May our memory be a blessing and carry us through it, to it, the brightening and the brilliance.

A witch is born, and by a witch a witch is made.

ברוך דיין האמת

Birthright & Inheritance

כ"ב בניסן תשס"ז

I am still learning basic tarot. Interestingly, another meaning of the five of cups in my previous tarot reading came to me today. Importantly, the additional layer of meaning directly relates to a dream I had the morning after the tarot reading. In that dream, I met someone who bore an ancestral family name - Grunwald.

In my initial interpretation of the five of cups card, I brought down the energies of Yah and rectified chesed into malchut. Perusing tarot card meanings over the internet, I came across these additional descriptors of meaning for the five of cups card:

Raider-Waite
It is a card of loss (an ancestor, for example), but something remains over (a birthright, for example); it is a card of inheritance, patrimony, transmission, but not corresponding to expectations; generally favourable; a happy marriage; also patrimony, legacies, gifts, success in enterprise. Return of some relative who has not been seen for long.

Mathers
Union, Junction, Marriage, Inheritance. Arrival, Return.

Etteilla
Legacy, Succession, Bequest, Gift, Donation, Dowry, Patrimony, Handing Down, Will. Tradition, Decision. Consanguinity, Blood, Family, Forbears, Ancestors, Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Uncle, Aunt, Cousin. Filiation, Extraction, Race, Lineage, Alliance. Affinity, Contact, Relationship, Connections.

Taking all this together, it can be seen that the energies guiding my tarot readings are indeed of a prophetic nature. The "information" that I was about to be visited by a spiritual ancestor or a descendent of my ancestor was contained within the spread of cards even before my intellect discovered it.

Moreover, the information also relates that the dream was a vehicle for transmitting and receiving knowledge of my inheritance and birthright. The aspects of transmission are seen in the presence of both an identified Grunwald family member and my mother. Importantly, this detail of transmission as being both through my Grunwald ancestral line and my mother testifies specifically as to the nature of and the route to receiving my Jewish heritage. The aspect of receiving is in the detail that I "ate and drank" in the dream, while both symbols of transmission communicated with one another.

Just a side note: I received my witch's crown (kelil tiferet) in the mail today.

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A Bud Appeared In The Land

ז' בכסלו תשס"ח

Gladys Ruth Faulkner-Collins, daughter of Elizabeth Grunwald-Faulkner and George Samuel Faulkner, and granddaughter of Sue Turner-Grunwald and Will Grunwald was born in Rosebud, Illinois on August 5, 1915. One of her final gifts to her four daughters was to say "I love my beautiful, beautiful daughters! We've told a beautiful story, haven't we?" She was a gift we will cherish forever. She is survived by her daughters, Elizabeth Satterlee, Brenda Davis, Cheryl Taylor and Karen Bell. She also leaves behind eight grandchildren, nine great grandchildren, and eight great-great grandchildren.

שלמה

A bud appeared in the Land ... Shir Hashirim 2:12 ... the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our Land.

Through my mothers are "the powers of evil annihilated" and the destruction of generations prevented. Because buds appeared in the Land.

שלמא

Yes, Grandma, a very beautiful story.

Meeting A Grunwald

כ"א בניסן תשס"ז

Earlier this morning, I dreamt.

I was on a school bus traveling with a group going somewhere. Somewhere turned out to be a gathering in which the participants attended learning sessions like seminars, but they weren't business seminars.

Anyway, on the bus I was seated in the right aisle, in the middle of the bus. An unknown man was sitting in the same seat. I had the impression that we were both "seated" there for a purpose - it was almost as if it was being determined if we could "accept" one another's presence.

The man sat next to the window and I sat on the aisle side of the seat. Oddly, I couldn't sit at the edge of the seat. I was sitting in the middle of the seat we shared. I felt uncomfortable sitting like that, in the middle of the shared seat, and I was intruding on the man's space as well - although he didn't say anything - but try as I might, I couldn't move over. I couldn't move from the middle of the seat. I was stuck there in the middle. We talked small "neighborly" talk, the content I don't recall.

We arrived at the destination and everyone exited the bus, each going his or her own way among the crowd waiting for the seminars-symposia to begin. My mother was with me at this point.

Everyone went through a buffet foodline to get a tray of food to eat while sitting through the seminar lectures. I had trouble finding a clean tray among the stacks, but I finally found one and gathered up a plate of food (fried chicken) and a beverage (cola). I had to remove several large ice cubes to get enough liquid into the cup to drink with a meal. Then, my mother and I went into the big conference room where the lectures were about to begin. We sat down.

The same man from the bus approached my mother and I. He introduced himself to my mother and I as (I missed the first name) Grunwald. I wondered silently if we were related (Grunwald is a family name in my ancestry). The man indicated that I should go ahead and eat because he somehow realized I hadn't eaten in quite awhile and was starving. So, I ate while he talked with my mother until the class was about to begin. At that time, he headed back towards his own seat.

I woke up.

Heritage Facts

ז' בטבת תשס"ח
Grael 8

* I am the 6th great grandniece of American founding father and statesman Benjamin Franklin through my mother's father's mother's line. *

* Classic American author William Faulkner is another distinguished member of my family tree on my mother's side. *

* The Faulkner clan arrived in America (Maryland) via Wales 22 January 1665 on the ship Agreement, setting out from Bristol. Their passage was paid for with 300 pounds of tobacco. This family consisted of John Faulkner (son of William Faulkner "citizen & draper of London" and Elizabeth Filmer, daughter of Sir Edward Filmer & Dame Elizabeth Argall) and Elizabeth (daughter of Reginald Filmer & Jane Travis), and their children John, Thomas & Francis. The Faulkner British connection is through my mother's mother's father's line. Patriarch John Faulkner was born in Wales. He and Elizabeth were married in Wales. *

* My direct ancestors from my maternal Faulkner family line fought in the American Revolution. *

* In addition to Wales and London, other areas in the UK from which I have ancestors include Ecton, Northamptonshire, Banbury, Oxford. *

* My Jewish family line (Grunwald family name) came from England to the United States in the 1800's. I have little specific information regarding where they came from in England as of yet. William and Sue Grunwald were both observant Jews. The Grunwald British connection is through my mother's mother's mother's line.*

* My paternal Native American ancestry includes both Cherokee and Potawatomi. I have Native American family members who walked on the Cherokee Trail Of Tears and on the Potawatomi Trail Of Death during the 1800's. I was born in a town through which the 1838 Potawatomi Trail Of Death passed. *

* My maternal heritage is Jewish, British and Welsh. *

* My paternal heritage is Native American, Irish, British and German. *

* I am an American. *

Wedge 226 - Greensburg Not Grunwald Destroyed

י"ח באייר תשס"ז

Wedge in Hebrew is טריז and has a gematria of 226.

This Friday and Saturday Greensburg, Kansas was 95% destroyed by a series of wedge tornados. The only structure left standing in the entire town was the local pub, the Bar H Tavern. Foxnews reports today:

Saturday, May 05, 2007

GREENSBURG, Kan. — A fresh wave of tornadoes ripped through southwest Kansas on Saturday evening, a day after a tornado all but destroyed this town, killing nine and injuring dozens more.

The National Weather Service said it had received reports "well into the double digits" of twisters touching down in six counties.

Among them were a series of half-mile wide "wedge" tornadoes — similar to the one that devastated Greensburg on Friday night, meteorologist Mike Umscheid said.

Read full story at link above.

The black bridge was disconnected from my reversal candle (see entry linked below). I think my enemies were trying to reverse my reversal. They, of course, failed again. The only connection which remained for me was the one between the candle holder (vessel of my souls) and my witch's altar box (of joy), sha'ar gilah.

Related entries:

Thursday, 8:05pm
Kin 226: World Bridger, Vayekhulu Hashamayim

Friday, 8:37pm
The Black Bridge

The Grunwald Connection.


Foxnews/AP photo

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Advent Of The Black Crow & The Exodus

י"ב בשבט תשס"ח
Imbolgen 12

I began reading my new book, Underworld Initiation by R. J. Stewart a few days ago. Nearly three weeks ago, I posted my dream, Cleave Land, writing in that post of red birds and of the advent of one black bird:

Off to the side of the road there was a huge field completely full of singing red birds. There were so many singing red birds that the songs and the birds themselves blurred into one sound and sight of indistinct red chaos, yet I concentrated (almost as if pulling myself inward together) to listen for a distinct message to come out from among them.

I focused. Many of the red birds suddenly just disappeared as if lifted off the page of the "place" I was seeing. No longer was there a blur of song and redness. Though the field was still full of birds, now I could see individual birds, whereas before they had all blurred together. Most were still red birds, but I could now see that there were birds of other colors scattered among them as well. Now, there was even a particular black bird whose voice emerged from the group and pulled my attention toward it. The black bird's song rose up as an individual song directly into my ear distinctly, out from the field of many birds.

In Underworld Initiation, R. J. Stewart writes:

This sphere is in fact, Feminine ... acting as a bridge of pure catabolic power between the Dark Mother and the Light or Instructing Mother. In Celtic lore, She is the Morrígan, the Red Bird of Battles, the active power of Death and Breakdown.

Mr. Stewart additionally writes of the Morrígan, whose totem is also a Black Crow, as the Archetype of Female Power as it pertains to further esoteric transformation of consciousness:

The Universal Tree may only be experienced direct, so words are of little value other than as loose instructions upon the way. Let us, like alchemists of old, seek the advent of the Black Crow.

The advent of the Black Crow in alchemy is a further development of the carrion crow who haunted the battlefields of ancient wars. The Crow is the Totem Beast of the Goddess of Death, breaking down the body that the spirit may be released. In our alchemical context, it is often described or shown in pictoral form as one of the stages of Transmutation.

Significantly, emergence of the Black Crow of liberation brings forth from the battlefield a particular path from among the various open paths which will lead one to the castle of the Kingdom.

The Red Sea of Birds of my dream symbolized wrestling with Judgment and the limitations of physicality (the Massa Confusa of Red Birds which lifted). The Red Birds which remained (Pelican stage of alchemical transmutation) in the (green) field of my dream acted as an anchor to physical incarnation. The "greenfield" of the dream correlates to my Jewish ancestral name Grunwald (meaning Greenfield) and to the alchemical stage of the Green Lion. The Birds of Many Colors in my dream refer to the Peacock's Tail stage, "the turning point" and signify that I am on the right path for my particularity. The Black Crow symbolizes liberation of consciousness from the pressing restrictions of the physical and psychic bodies, and an exodus from the dire straits of Mitzrayim. It's flight (as described in Cleave Land) symbolizes the rising of the Phoenix from The Flame:

The difference between my dream symbolism and that of typical alchemical transmutative processes is the absence of the "whitening" and "White Stone" stages. My particular chotimah is not only white, it is both a whitish (white flame and aura) and blackish (dark flame and coal) Flame of the Future World.

The cosmological Morrígan - an archetypal vehicle of deciding who will live and who will die.

Celtic Morrígan and Hebrew Lilith.

Morrígan as the guardian of Sovereignty.

Blooding The Cord & The Man In Black

ז' שבט תשס"ט
Imbolgen 7

In follow-up to my entry Will, The Man In Black, an excerpt from the article Blood Rites (in The Crooked Path Journal, Issue 3) by Peter Paddon (British witch and practitioner of Traditional Witchcraft):

Not all British Traditions use a cord or cingulam, but for those who do, it has very special significance. In the Path that I follow, the cord represents the Tradition, the Coven, the lineage and the initiate's connection to them. The Guardian or Man in Black can use the cord to grasp a covener who has 'slipped away' between the worlds and bring them back to where they are meant to be.

At initiation, the Magister and Mistress will blood the cord of the new initiate, to seal the promises made. In my Path, the promises are made to teach and guide the initiate to the best of our ability, to help them find their true Path, wherever it may be, and to accept them fully to our hearth and hearts. Other Traditions have other promises, and possibly other symbolism too, but this is how we do it. The initiate also bloods the cord at that time, sealing their own promise to their Gods and their Ancestors to do their best to follow their Path, wherever it may lead them.

Thus, the Guardian of my Coven is my ancestor Will Grunwald and the two bloods now definitely sealed on the cord of my Coven are the combined Traditions of my Jewish and British/Welsh ancestors.

UPDATE - Music To My Irish Soul & The 3-Fold Cord

Middle Eastern Genetic Panel

ל׳ בשבט תשע"ב
Keowulf 3
Ash 6

This list identifies my DNA match scores for individual Middle Eastern populations in the database. Each of these scores can be compared with the Top 20 population match scores listed in Parts B and C of my genetic ancestry report.

Armenian (Lake Van, Armenia) (0.9) 123,276.54
Ashkenazi Jewish (Budapest, Hungary) (0.68) 42,642.80
Armenian (Sason, Eastern Turkey) (0.83) 38,824.54
Turkey (0.83) 27,497.77
Ashkenazi Jewish (Israel) (0.87) 21,440.00
Tunisia (0.68) 16,000.00
Armenian (Ararat Valley, Armenia) (0.76) 14,443.63
Kurdish (Northern Iraq) (0.74) 14,245.87
Southern Tunisia (0.7) 13,667.15
Istanbul, Turkey (0.77) 13,448.07
Dubai (United Arab Emirates) (0.79) 8,166.26
Western Mediterranean Region, Turkey (0.83) 7,452.67
Iran (0.78) 7,375.71
Libya (0.65) 7,233.62
Turkey (0.72) 6,948.69
Turkey (0.77) 6,867.76
Non-Hasidic Jewish (New York City, U.S.) (0.71) 6,843.88
Turkey (0.63) 4,259.90
Turkey (0.63) 4,243.99
Marmara, Turkey (0.68) 4,176.23
El-Minia, Egypt (0.59) 3,642.08
Morocco (0.44) 2,874.42
Xuetes (Majorca, Spain) (0.49) 2,843.90
Eastern Mediterranean Region, Turkey (0.63) 2,449.47
Southern Morocco (Arabic speakers) (0.31) 2,044.18
Lebanon (0.47) 1,832.57
Kuwait (0.35) 1,710.92
Aegean Region, Turkey (0.53) 1,620.77
United Arab Emirates (0.61) 1,607.82
Eastern Anatolia, Turkey (0.53) 1,331.22
Morocco (0.29) 1,329.95
Jewish (Israel) (0.43) 1,328.87
Armenian (Gardman, Azerbaijan) (0.55) 1,298.86
Libya (0.43) 1,125.83
Kurdish (Iraq) (0.52) 1,095.01
Israel (0.43) 920.12
Maghrebi (0.32) 726.31
Iran (0.58) 539.55
Qatar (0.33) 517.47
Malta (0.25) 498.65
Hasidic Jewish (New York City, U.S.) (0.46) 357.22
Qatar (0.24) 327.95
Arab (Israel) (0.27) 324.75
Egypt (0.28) 309.98
Berber (Azrou, Morocco) (0.11) 222.93
Syria (0.29) 196.53
Central and Southern Iraq (0.23) 162.46
United Arab Emirates (0.36) 146.70
Northern Arab (0.26) 113.88
Berber (Morocco) (0.19) 96.18
Saudi Arabia (0.11) 58.45
Jewish (Israel) (0.17) 57.33
Jordan (0.18) 54.82
Yemen (0.16) 52.93
Sahrawi (Western Sahara) (0.15) 39.74
Sanaa, Yemen (0.15) 36.86
Central Anatolia (Turks, Kurds, and Cerkhez) (0.09) 18.81
Egyptian Muslim (Adaima, Egypt) (0.11) 14.59
Sudan (0.04) 12.98
Afghanistan (0.06) 12.38
Oman (0.08) 11.28
Bedouin (Negev, Israel) (0.09) 9.47
Duzce, Turkey (0.04) 9.27
Palestinian (Gaza Strip) (0.06) 8.75
Yemen (0.08) 7.78
Oman (0.06) 7.74
Yemen (0.04) 7.62
Berber (Asni, Morocco) (0.02) 5.98
Berber (Bouhria, Morocco) (0.02) 5.43
Egypt (0.03) 4.00
Zriba Arab (Central Tunisia) (0.05) 3.04
Egyptian Copt (Adaima, Egypt) (0.03) 2.79
Mozabite (Ghardaia, Algeria) (0.04) 2.05
Egyptian Berber (Siwa, Egypt) (0.01) 1.69
Bahrain (0.06) 1.38
African-Jordanian (0.02) 1.16
Afghanistan (0.01) 0.80
North African Jewish (Morocco, Tunisia, Libya) (0.05) 0.66
Oman (0.03) 0.58
Berber (Southern Morocco) (0.02) 0.41
Berber (North and Central Morocco) (0.02) 0.25
Druze (Mount Carmel, Israel) (0.01) 0.10
Georgia (0) 0.05
Sephardi Jewish (Turkey) (0.02) 0.04
Palestinian (Israel) (0) 0.01
Kesra Berber (Central Tunisia) (0) 0.01
Arab (Morocco) (0) 0.01
Jordan (0) 0.01
Sudan (0) 0.00
Berber (Sened, Tunisia) (0) 0.00
Mozabite (Mzab, Algeria) (0) 0.00
Sudan (0) 0.00
Ashkenazi Jewish (Israel) (0) 0.00
Arab (Morocco) (0) 0.00
Berber (Chenini -Douiret, Tunisia) (0) 0.00
Misrahi Jewish (Iran, Iraq) (0) 0.00
Adyghe (Southern Russia) (0) 0.00
Christian Egyptian (0) 0.00
Berber (Matmata, Tunisia) (0) 0.00

My top 5 in the Middle Eastern panel are Armenian (Lake Van, Armenia), Ashkenazi Jewish (Budapest, Hungary), Armenian (Sason, Eastern Turkey), Turkey and Ashkenazi Jewish (Israel). I've actually got quite an unexpected mix of blood from the Middle East it seems.

Looks like my Ashkenazic Jewish ancestry is confirmed in DNA now, in agreement with oral family history (of my Grunwald family line). The surprise here is that the numbers are so high, considering that my Ashkenazic Jewish ancestry was not known by me until I was an adult, while (as shown in my previous post), I knew of my Native American ancestry as a little girl and all of those results came back ZERO.

There are two numbers - basically, the one in parentheses is a TribeScore which compares my MLI scores to members of each ethnic group and world region. The second number is the MLI (Match Likelihood Index) Score which determines ranking for matches and measures how common frequent my DNA profile is in that population as compared to the world overall.

U5b1b Among Central European Ashkenazi Jews

Here it is reported that a high number of people in the U5b1b subclade of U5 is found in Ashkenazi Jews living in central Europe. I matched Ashkenazi Jews living in Hungary and other areas of central Europe through Roots For Real and my Jewish family name (Grunwald) is recently associated with Budapest Hungary.

Unified Aspects Of Tradition

י"ב בשבט תשס"ח
Imbolgen 12

In follow-up to my earlier posts, Advent Of The Black Crow & The Exodus and Raven Of The Land, I also want to point out that my one dream as described in the first entry contains within it three major aspects of transmutative Tradition (just as the Morrígan is sometimes perceived as a triple goddess and sometimes as a single goddess), namely:

1. The Black Crow, symbolizing the archetypal Feminine Power of the UnderWorld.
2. The Guardian and the Guide, symbolizing guardianship of Sovereignty and guidance toward one's correct developmental path.
3. The Summoning of the Ancestors, evident in the correlation of the Green Lion alchemical stage with both the greenfield of the dream and my Jewish ancestors, Will and Sue Grunwald (meaning Greenfield); and Remembering the Future, evident in my dream's interpretive link to my chotimah (the flame of the future world).

Rectified Binah & My Sephardic Connection

I dreamt.

I was in a cafeteria line (seder) gathering up a meal (shulchan oruch). There was a cauldron [1] of beef [2] and noodles [3]. I tried to dip with the cauldron's ladle [4] to get a portion of mostly noodles for myself. I tried to get mostly noodles (since I like noodles) and just a little bit of meat (since I'm not a big meat-eater).

Everytime I attempted to do it, nearly all of the noodles would fall off the ladle spoon and alot of meat would somehow manage to work itself up onto the ladle spoon. I would dump the spoon and retry again. This would happen each time I tried, so that I each time I ended up with mostly meat and very few or no noodles on the ladle spoon. That meat had kavanah! by golly!

The people behind me in the line were getting impatient. Ok, fine! I dumped the next ladle full of meat onto my thin paper [5] plate. It looks like I'm going to have to eat meat.

Next, I came to the soda fountain. I filled my large styrofoam cup up with ice, then with cola. As I started to put my cup of sodapop onto my cafeteria tray, all of the cola in my cup disappeared. The ice [6] remained. Only the cola vanished. I filled my cup up again with sodapop. Again, the cola disappeared. Ok, fine! I'll drink water.

I filled up my cup with water. The water didn't disappear. I moved on down the line and found a seat at a table in the cafeteria.

I woke up.

Footnotes:

[1] The cauldron symbolizes the Divine Feminine principle, the power of transformation and the "place" where Divine Knowledge and Inspiration (Hashra'ah) are brewed. See Samhain as the Scholars' Festival for women.

[2] Ashkenazi custom (Vilna Gaon) prohibits roasted meat at a seder, but Sephardi custom does not necessarily prohibit it. This detail of my dream suggests that I may also have some Sephardic ancestry (through my paternal Native American ancestry perhaps, or even through my maternal Jewish-British family line, the Grunwalds, since I've only assumed the entire Grunwald clan to be Ashkenazi because they came from England). It could also mean that my bashert has some Sephardic ancestry as well.

[3] Noodles are usually found in kugel dishes over pesach and shabbat. Also, lokshen (noodles) is a Yiddish term, where Yiddish is an Ashkenazic phenomenon. Consequently, given the "pot roasting meat" over "noodles", the dream is deliberately pointing out a Sephardic connection to me (see fn. 2).

[4] A ladle is likened to a Torah scholar. Sanhedrin 52b, perek dalet mitot. (see fn. 1 above)

[5] Samhain (sundown October 31 - November 1) marks the time when the veil between worlds is the thinnest.

[6] See Zohar #301. "If water is poured on them (the ice, like in my dream), the ice absorbs it. By the waters turning into ice, they have become a vessel to receive additional waters." In my dream, the ice remained as a vessel upon which water was accepted, but the sodapop was rejected and disappeared. Consequently, this detail of the dream speaks to the purity of my "ice vessel" to accept only pure water (of Atzilutic Torah and shefa) and to discern correctly (as ice "originates" from Binah). In other words, the dream is confirming that the Binah acting within my dreams is rectified Binah.

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Will, The Man In Black

ו' שבט תשס"ט
Imbolgen 6

Two divinations and two dreams.

First, erev shabbat I drew the pentacle card from my Well Worn Path deck. The pentacle card speaks to the ideas of stability, foundation, endurance, fortitude, manifestation within the physical world, and draws creative energy into active expression. Thus, kabbalistically the protective pentacle represents ateret hayesod, the foundation of malchut.

Then, to see what was 'in the air' (for which I drew the protective pentacle card), I drew three hebrew letter cards. They were עקו, a word from the root עקה meaning: 1) to enclose, 2) press in, and 3) fence in. Associated in my mind with these meanings were three ideas: 1) a witch's circle, 2) the midnight death of the firstborn as in this week's Torah portion (I am a firstborn individual), and 3) a fence for Torah.

I went to sleep and dreamt.

To press in.

It was night in my parents' [1] house where I am staying. The time was the present time. A white woman thug was trying break down the door, pressing to get in to kill us. I put my body against the frame of the door to block her entrance. It was a mighty struggle, the door popped off its hinges as she pressed in and I pressed out. Nevertheless, I managed to get the deadbolt locked against her. Somehow, in my pressing out against the door and throwing my weight against it, I threw her backwards - away from the door, off the large porch and into the yard. The white woman thug landed on her rearend on the ground.

The witch's circle.

I woke up, and got up out of bed. I smudged the house, particularly the door of the dream, with dragon's blood incense. Then, I cast a magic witch's circle around the home and all my family members, my place of employment and co-workers, and all our systems of support. After considering the hebrew letter card hei (ה), I instead put the hebrew letter card shin (ש) by my bedroom altar [2.a]. Though, according to midrash, the letter hei is the protective letter put on the doorposts of the Hebrews during the midnight massacre of the Exodus, I already had a protective pentacle [2] present. Moreover, the letter hei is a letter of receptive manifestion, and I had no intention of 'receiving' death. Thus, I instead chose the projective letter shin of the mezuzah. I also reinforced to my gargoyle to remain at his station, guarding the closet. Then, I went back to sleep and dreamt again.

A fence for Torah.

It was night. I was currently living in my aunt's [1] house with my three children when they were little (I have never lived in the house of my aunt - my father's sister, which is next door to my parents' house, in real life - and the house of the dream was actually a combination of her house and a house I used to live in when I was a young mother). Thus, this represents a mixture of time past and present.

I saw outside the kitchen window four black male thugs with knives making noise by the fence which runs between the house (of my aunt) and the house of my parents. (I have never had any problem with 'black male thugs' in real life and the only connection I can find to this detail is in this recent post of a video performance of Racheim linked to from DovBear.) They had walked on the fence and slid down it into the yard, and were preparing 'to rumble', to break into the house via the bedroom windows. They were going to storm the house and kill us all. There were too many of them - four of them against one of me. I couldn't use my body to block all the windows and doors against each of them. I was only one individual, while they were four individuals. So, while they were preparing to rumble, I packed up my children, and from another side of the house, I hurried us into my car and drove off. When they broke in to kill us, we wouldn't be there. We had already escaped as they danced in the dark with their knives in hand, in ritual preparation to slaughter us.

It was now daytime. We were driving the highways, moving from place to place across country to escape the male Green Hulk monster which was now trying to find and kill us, since we had escaped the four black male thugs. Every time I sensed the Green Hulk was getting close to finding us, we moved on in my car to another place.

We were on the highway when the Green Hulk finally spotted my car. It landed on the car as I drove. I had attached a flying 'shuttle craft' to the hood of my car, in preparation for just such an event as the Green Hulk finding us in our travels to escape it. The plan was to evacuate us from the car through the roof into the shuttle craft and fly away, leaving the Green Hulk to break into an empty car. But, the Green Hulk, not to be fooled that way again like the four male thugs at the house, had intuited that plan - I knew it - and he had broken stealthily into the shuttle craft to await and kill us when we evacuated the car as we had the house. He didn't know I knew he knew. We didn't evacuate into the shuttle craft. Instead, I drove under an low hanging overpass and cut the shuttle craft off the roof of the car. I drove on with my kids, and the shuttle craft lay splintered open on the road behind us. I saw a group of people standing there on the road, surrounding the broken vessel from which the Green Hulk emerged. One among them administered an injection to him and he morphed back into human form as he lay disoriented in the road. I saw a seam come together on his right arm as he temporarily morphed back into human form on account of the injection. Nevertheless, it wasn't over yet.

I was in a public place, among a group of people. It was again the present time (as opposed to when my children were little). Suddenly, a clearing formed, leaving me in the middle of the clearing. Again suddenly, a large crate-like box dropped down from the air as a 'gift' for me. It had dropped into the clearing near but behind me. I knew what was in the crate. The Green Hulk (the injected medicine having worn off) was in the crate - he was going to bust out and kill me in front of everybody. There was no escaping him this time. There was no vehicle of escape. I was surrounded by people. So, despite that I had not the brute strength to defend myself against him and would likely be killed, nevertheless, I turned to face the crate. I stood up straight and faced the crate, to meet him face to face when he busted out. I girded myself for the likely fatal encounter.

Suddenly, a Man dressed in all Black [2.b] dropped from the air between myself and the crate. He placed himself between the crate with the Green Hulk in it and me. The Man in Black was named Will. He was my Jewish ancestor Will Grunwald, and he had dark blonde hair like me (and like him, I too was dressed in all Black). With Will there and I behind him, the crate was sealed with the Green Hulk trapped in it unable to escape. Will had captured the Green Hulk and was going to reveal the Green Hulk's identity before the whole group of people who had gathered around to watch me be slain. With the group's attention focused on the revelation of the Green Hulk's identity, the 'woman behind him' (behind the Green Hulk) sought to sneak away from being also found out. But, I saw her. She tried to sneak out through the back of the crowd through a side door. But, I saw her. She did not escape unnoticed. And I had not been slain as the woman had anticipated I would be.

I woke up.

Footnotes:

[1] Yocheved was the aunt and wife of Amram. Yocheved and Amram are the parents of Moshe. In this dream, the two houses I live in are those of my parents and of my aunt (in combination with my own). Thus, in this dream, I am the Moses principle.

[2] A pentacle has six (שש - a/b) revealed elements - it is a intertwined five-pointed star encompassed by a circle. A pentagram has five revealed elements - an intertwined five-pointed star.

[3] In contrast to the blue dream of four sisters, the colors associated with this dream are white, black and green.