Attitudes Toward Baalei Teshuvah

Yoniqua of Inspiration writes in defense of BTs regarding FFB (frum from birth) attitudes toward baalei teshuvah (BTs):

She may not even HAVE much of a past. On the contrary, she may have a past that she not only regrets so completely, but that she works extra hard for the rest of her life to be the very very best she can be! She’s worked so hard, and her only wish is to marry a good “mentch” of a guy so that her children have whom to emulate. She might love to marry a BT, but would also welcome a husband who was always frum. She may not want reminders of her previous life. She may want to move only forward. (Again, he/she.)

From this I see, all BTs are assumed to have wild exotic "pasts" from which they are running, even when, in fact, many if not most may have been quite righteous in his or her secular life. Not only is it an errant assumption on the part of FFBs (that no one but those of their kind can be chaste, righteous and good), but it is a hateful, yes hateful, misjudgment of BTs.

Secondly, why is it automatically assumed that a BT's past is something one needs to "forget" as if a previous secular life is something to be ashamed of? BTs really are viewed as "trashy" people - all of us must surely have led trashy secular lives.

It seems that some FFBs really need to grow up in the reality department and give up prejudices and messed up ideas of what life is typically like in the secular world. Normal everyday joes and janes in the secular world are not the wild ethic-less animals many FFBs seem to think they are.

And personally as a BT, I was a much nicer, kinder, gentler person when I was secular. I have not had a good experience with FFBs. It's a good thing they're family because I really don't like them mostly. Honestly (not).

I'm in a really bad mood today. Can you tell?

technorati tags: Judaism baalei teshuvah FFB