From The Race of Ancient Stones

My 100% European Ethnicity that reflects up to the last 2,000 years (about 80 generations).

In follow-up to an earlier post (Soul Saga), in considering the origin of consciousness and my ability to remember events of my existence prior to physical incarnation, I've come to the temple mound of Newgrange, a construction of my ancestors.

In addition to the fact that on the longest night of the year (the winter solstice, hence my connection to the goddess Hela, and shedding light on the memorial line in my Soul Saga poem "in this darkest place"), I have learned that within the inner chambers of Newgrange are carved stones grouped together in groups illustrating in stone cell divisions seemingly symbolic of genetic reproduction following fertilization of an egg by a sperm as my poem and memory Soul Saga also describes). The long entry passageway from which light enters the mound of Newgrange on the longest night of the year symbolizes the reproductive process of fertilization of the egg, suggesting that conscious memory of these pre-incarnate events may have been common among my ancestors, namely, my ancestors who built Newgrange.

That these processes of the beginning of human organic life are clearly evident in the symbolism of Newgrange, underscores for me (like for the author of Ireland, Land of the Pharaohs) that the creators and builders of Newgrange experienced consciousness unlike modern humans (nearly all modern humans that is, excluding those who, like me, carry memories of preincarnate existence).

In the book The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind, the idea is posited that modern ways of thinking are rather recent in the evolutionary history of humankind. Ancient humans experienced consciousness much differently.

Neuroscientists also posit that the modern human brain functions as a screen of information. In addition to enabling the human mind to focus thought more effectively into a single unified stream of consciousness, the modern human brain filters out a mass of deeply intuitive and sensual information potentially available to conscious perception that would otherwise bombard us (a mass of potentially perceptible information which would make narrowly focused modern human rational thought difficult). In other words, our modern human brain screens out things we might otherwise perceive so that modern humans are more rational and consequently, less intuitively cognitively perceptive to our full environment.

Taking all of these facts together, and given the fact that my modern human ancestors are ethnically 100% European according to my most recent autosomal Family Tree DNA results, and that both my genetic Doggerland fatherline and motherline are indigenous to Old Europe (all genetic data further supporting the antiquity of my ancient European roots and connection to Newgrange), I am thinking that the reason that I can remember preincarnate existence is linked to the idea that my brain may phenotypically express (normally dormant) ancient characteristics of the pre-modern European human brain - one which does NOT filter out the kinds of perceptions and memories which may have been common among my ancient ancestors - the ancestors who commonly experienced incarnate memories of preincarnate existence as evidenced by the temple of Newgrange.

I may write more on this later when my mind is refreshed, as I've been up all night thinking about this, and need to get some sleep now.

Last Night's Uruz Rune Drawing

Uruz Rune

In follow-up to my previous post, linking Hel, Baldur and Nanna, and further noting my middle name Ann to be the core letters of the name Nanna, last night's nightly rune drawing was Uruz, a rune linked to Nanna and to the concepts of archetypal patterning, endurance, organic structuring and manifestation. Nanna is the goddess upon which my own vital force is patterned.

D.U.D.E. - An Ancestral Secret of Fire & Ice

Rune adorned vintage coupon from old Beard Ice Co. in Danville, IL.

Last night's rune drawing was Sowilo - the fiery solar thunderbolt. Then I dreamt a highly symbolic dream certainly pertaining to an ancestral mystery.

In a prologue dream to the main dream, I back-time traveled to the home of an older woman living alone. She had the ancestral flavor of my paternal grandmother, but she was not my grandmother specifically. I went there to change the future to which this moment in time was connected. Suddenly, I was in another place where a man lay dying. He had an ancient secret key (one which had been passed down the family line since ancient times) he had kept safe in his heart during his lifetime - this secret key unlocked something very mysterious and powerful. As he lay dying, the secret was released (in visible form) from his heart and came into mine like an apparition but more solid. The man had passed this secret key to me.

Then the main dream started.

Though we lived separate lives, I and my brother were living on the edges of normative society. We no longer really fit in with people who live their lives in service to normal society. We were walking around the streets of the town, like proverbial outsiders (James Dean like).

There was a little creature who came up to us, it reminded me of a shoeshine monkey, but it wasn't (another little creature like in a dream of an earlier dream-post). He caught my attention and I sort of adopted him, inviting him to come along. The creature pointed out some ice cubes and I read them. There were secret codes in the ice cubes and the ability to read them was one I was very inherently skilled at doing. I and my brother each now held 3 ice cubes in our hands.

We came to a door to a outsiders' club (reminded me of an underworld mafia-like club, but it wasn't the mafia, it was like a tribal club - a gathering place for the tribal-clans who belonged to the larger tribe). It was dangerous to go inside if one didn't belong there. It was strongly protected. I knocked on the door (again, another similar element from the same earlier dream-post). I felt called to do that.

The door was opened by a burly guard who asked us what we wanted. I really had no idea what I wanted except to go inside and see what was there. The little creature spoke up to the guard and said, "she can read ice cubes!" Immediately, the guard let us in, as if the ability to read ice cubes was something very special indeed and connected deeply to the tribe.

I and my brother were taken to audience with the tribal leader (like a chief earl-boss man), who was non-plussed at first to be bothered by the introduction of us to him (as he sat at the head of a group) by the guard. I felt he would throw us out or worse. But then the guard said, "she can read ice cubes." I held up my ice cubes.

As I held up my ice cubes, an old wooden hutch in the room fell over with a bang and split apart into pieces, revealing a hidden compartment which now was exposed and open. A secret note paper which had been hidden in a concealed compartment fell out. On the note paper was written D.U.D.E. - it was like a bank-note or coupon-note upon which was recorded an old agreement between the chief boss-man (and the tribes overall) and the inheritor of the owner-rights to the D.U.D.E. note - I was the inheritor to the owner-rights of the D.U.D.E. note - and me as the inheritor-owner was directly supported by the fact that I could read ice cubes, by the hutch falling over as I lifted up the ice cubes in my hands (revealing the D.U.D.E. note), and by details that only the chief-boss man could read in the D.U.D.E note.

In some way, the D.U.D.E. note recorded an agreement between an ancestor family member of mine and the chief boss-man years ago before I was born - it seemed like in the 1930's or 1940's. I had a vision of that time with my deceased family member and the chief boss-man back in those days (each wearing the kinds of hats business men wore in those days) talking together and making some kind of deal to save the tribal organization. My ancestor-family member sacrificed something to save everything and everyone. The D.U.D.E. note recorded a debt of gratitude to the descendant inheritor of the D.U.D.E. note - it would ensure the survival and prosperity of my ancestor's chosen descendants in repayment of the sacrifice made by my ancestor at a critical time in history which ensured the survival and prosperity of the tribal organization.

The chief boss-man's eyes welled up with tears, though he didn't cry. He clearly had dearly loved my ancestor-family member like a brother - the two had been blood brothers in fact, strongly bonded together like men who are blood brothers are. The chief-boss man acknowledged my inheritance right and embraced my brother and I into the tribal organization. We would be set up in homes in the west end of town (where most of the tribal clans lived) and taken care of (given a place within the organization), and given respected active roles within the tribal organization. We were safe now, no longer outsiders, safe among a strong kindred.

In my role, I went to a factory (used to be Lauhoff Grain Co.) and drove up to the factory teller window. I was immediately recognized as a VIP (in the tribal organization) and we were let right in.

Then I was at a little store nearby that was getting ready to close for the night. I was a friend to the person who owned and worked the store. The last customer was checking out. I went to check out the last customer as a favor to the person closing up things, and just gave the customer whatever item it was she was going to purchase. I could do that - I could dispense little favors to others at will as I wanted to. This was one of my rightful powers as a VIP in the tribal organization.

When the little shop had closed for the night, we were outside loading some kind of stretcher onto the bed of a truck. A patrolling policeman came up to see what we were doing. Then the policeman recognized we were of the tribal organization and was friendly. He clearly respected our tribal organization.

I woke up.

Later today, I found out that my paternal grandfather and possibly another paternal family member had worked at the old Beard Ice Company that used to exist in my town.

My Sowilo rune dream pertains significantly to Ice and to real mysteries of my ancestors.

Willed Fire Synchronicity

Kenaz Rune

In follow-up to my previous posts (Royal Hamingja and Fire Dragon Synchronicity), tonight's rune drawing is Kenaz (a perfect follow-up to last night's Fehu rune drawing, my dream of two fiery flights - the second fire flight being one I willed into being, and the Up Helly Aa fire festival synchronicity).

On Kenaz, Edred Thorsson writes (in Futhark):

Ritually, Kenaz ,,, is fire controlled toward a willed result.

Just like in my dream. It's amazing just how incredibly in sync my runes are with my life.

Royal Hamingja

Dragon Raven Banner

Last night's rune drawing was Fehu.

I dreamt.

I was a young woman at the University. I lived in the living quarters with other students. I pretty much kept to myself and didn't get involved in any of the social activities with the other students. I wasn't shy really, I just wasn't very skilled at being sociable. I was also a rather socially reserved personality.

But one of my acquaintance girlfriends came and talked me into going with her to an important university dinner party. I went with her, glad she had pulled me toward going. I sat at one of the round banquet tables in the banquet hall.

There were little creatures (small-sized like miniature dogs, but they weren't dogs) that went around entertaining and performing at the feet of all the students. Though they were entertaining, their purpose was not to entertain - it was to scout out for the special one, sort of like making a preliminary assay to determine candidates who might be real witches.

I was identified as one among a group of female students to be tested for being a real witch. I decided to go along with the test.

Some of the candidates put on their coats because it was cold, icy and snowy outside and the dance would take us outside of the banquet room, but I didn't. I knew I wouldn't be cold as I danced.

We began the group dance in the banquet hall, but as we danced, we danced out the large doors to the outside where it was snowy. We danced into a trance as we danced. I felt no cold. As we danced, we levitated and rose into the air like ravens. Our dance became a dance in flight.

Suddenly, we all had wings and our wings became wings of blazing fire! We danced on fire. Thus, all of us who had passed the initial assay were all confirmed to be true witches. We were true witches.

The dance completed and the fire of our wings ceased, including mine. We began our smooth descent back to the ground. But then I did an unexpected thing. I willed my wings to be on fire a second time, like a dragon, during descent as opposed to during trance dance, and to ascend in flight and dance a second time! No one else did that, only I could do that. All those present were completely amazed that I was the one who would be able to do this second willed ascent on fiery wings. At this point, I didn't know the significance of what I had done, but since on the spur of the moment, I had wanted to do what only I had done, I did it because I could - I was happy, playing, joyous at just being me, this was the motivation for my willed dance.

When I finished my second willed fiery flight, I too smoothly descended to the ground and joined the group. We went inside. There was talk among the elders. Whispers went like wildfire through the student body and all those present. It was unexpected, but the talk was that I was the Witch Queen heir apparent. No one would have guessed that the new Witch Queen was me, I was so not the 'type' they had expected.

There was one final test - rowing in a longship - a strange kind of rowing, but the motion we were to do was a rowing-like motion. The group of us who had flown on fire, were put sideways into a longship (the longship was one longship, but we each had our own too such that we weren't sideways in our own space, this kind of longship cannot be fit entirely into the physical world). We each 'rowed' with our arms.

Unlike any of the others, I stretched my arms out beyond the conventional water in which we each rowed. I stretched clear across the water to the other shore and dug my fingernails and fingers into the soil of it. I walked with my fingers digging into the soil, stretching my arms even further, to a door and knocked on it. A woman with a young daughter opened the door - these two were significant to me, although I didn't really know exactly how (in the dream), but I knew that they were. I looked at the blond haired little girl (about 6 years old) and told her that I loved her, and that I had kept my promise (a promise had been made to me during shamanic journey when I was about 6 years old) to her - here I was, and things will be okay now (these are the last words my maternal grandfather ever spoke to me - when I was a young woman -, as if he were seeing into the future and preparing me for the tests with the knowledge that I would be okay and get through them). Then, the rowing test was over and I returned with the group back to the banquet room.

There was no doubt now, I was the new Witch Queen. There was also no doubt that the new Witch King was not the one all had expected it would be. The new Witch King was necessarily the one linked to me, as the new Witch King was necessarily the one soul matched to the new Witch Queen, namely, me.

Whispers spread like wildfire again through the crowd, and everyone including me turned to look at the sandy-haired guy sitting quietly at a table across the hall from me. This was the guy who was my partner Witch King. I had never seen him before that moment, but I recognized him as my partner and the one who had brought me to the school. He hadn't expected it to be him either. Though he had for awhile suspected that I was the Witch Queen heir apparent, he was just as surprised as everyone else that he was the new Witch King, partner to the Witch Queen.

I woke up.

Proving Hamingja

From The Road to Hel:

In the Vatnsdæla Saga, Ketill tells his son that he intends to teach him the laws of warriors - 'you are now at an age to prove what hamingja will be granted to you.' 'Now it is hamingja which will decide' exclaims Gestr in Bárðar Saga ... as used in the sagas, hamingja stands for an abstract conception, that of something belonging to an outstanding person which is partly a matter of character and partly of personality, and partly something more than either - that strange quality of luck or lucklessness which attaches itself to certain individuals more than others.

To read more about the Norse soul quality of hamingja, click the link above.

Today, just a few hours ago, a friend told me that I gave her good luck - awesome! (a person's hamingja may be shared with others)

Tonight's nightly rune drawing - laguz, the rune of increasing vital power and life force.

Last night I dreamt that a lion ate the balls (yes, it made a meal of those balls) of a man chasing to harm me. No more balls has he. 

Blót - Gebo Rune Drawing

Kragehul Spear

Fittingly, tonight's nightly rune divinatory drawing was Gebo.

ek e⸗rila⸗z asugisalas m⸗uh⸗a h⸗aite g⸗ag⸗ag⸗a ginu g⸗ah⸗e […] lija […] hagala wiju big–[…]

I, the Erulian, am called Asgisl's retainer g⸗ag⸗ag⸗a. The magical working (sign) ga. To the helm-destroying hail I consecrate (them) by spear ...

Like the vial of blood I hurled in my dream as written in my earlier posts (Birds and Odin & the Blood of the Einheri), according to Edred Thorsson on the rune Gebo:

The spear was hurled over (or at least in the direction of the enemy army) to dedicate (give) all of those slain on the other side as a sacrifice (to the Aesir Odin and/or Tyr).

Runedance Through Fire and Ice

In follow-up to my previous entry (Oskapt - Fire and Ice), after posting that entry, my nightly rune drawing before retiring to bed was Hagalaz (my birth rune). The previous night's rune drawing had been Thurisaz. Both were drawn using my apple wood Elder Futhark runes.

This is an interesting synchronicity with the question I pondered in last night's post (a question contemplated between Thurisaz and Hagalaz rune drawings).

Kveldulf Gundarsson writes in Teutonic Magic:

Hagalaz represents the unchanging structure or set pattern of the Nine Worlds in the tree Yggdrasill through which all living wights move and through which energies the runic energies flow - the unity of "organic" and "inorganic" ...

Hagalaz is the great controller and focuser of energies, as written forth in Havamal, where it is spoken of as a rune with which to control the wild might of fire - raw active power ...

The main effect of Hagalaz on the individual life is to bring you into unity with the universal pattern , which often appears as a mighty and seemingly woe-working breakage of everyday life ...

Above all, Hagalaz is the rune of completion and bringing into being. It may be seen as the passive form of Thurisaz, and in another sense its antithesis. Thurisaz melds fire and ice to create force which breaks down form; Hagalaz use ice and fire to create that form which holds and guides force ...

Thurisaz is more active, more in the way of fire; Hagalaz is unmoving, more in the way of ice.

Amazing synchronicity with my life, both within the past two nights, and in this old poem I wrote (about 15 years ago describing one of my preincarnate memories) and have posted before on my blog and websites (lastly here):

first rhythms ever plunge, eternal hosts driven into life
drawing through a field of topographic brilliance
where judgment lovingly flows, churning out whole stones
resting against asymmetries trying, like diamonds in chaos
proto-perception foams, over annihilating operations
and from it, dark bursts of lucidity finely entwine
coarse grains of almost something, almost yet sufficient
the silent rush of yet nothing slides, wildly as percolating pivots
diligently thread through it, casting clarity
upon myriads, hard pauses startle into vision
projecting arrays without mass, strings of confluency
impressing discovery, a shadowy tail-end lingers
between depths of opposite observation
iterating embraces of many meanings like quasi-quanta
gathering functions about the head and, and
spinning spectra, pushing forward, yearning toward home
not knowing, yet only knowing
as some featureless reach edging edges stretches out
the magnetic sweet dance
where divisions collapse like crystal caves
softly sprinkling the belly of the night divine
with bytes of thoughtbare kisses
extending the glorious field of apprehension

A Cosmological Key Flows Through It

In flowing connection to my previous post, Friday night's rune drawing was Kaun. Last night's rune drawing was Fe. Last night, I dreamt.

Initially, my eye was caught toward watching a news report on the television about a developing story in Texas. As I turned my attention toward the story being reported, I became a disembodied observer watching the events unfold at the scene(s).

Right outside of the Texas town (which was not identified in the dream as any specific town) by the sea on the eastern coast, sinkholes began opening up in the earth, when then, at the bottom of the sinkholes, molten fiery watery yellow orange red lava broke through and oozed up, making pools of lava. The lava sinkholes were coming to town toward a sprawling University campus. Oddly, despite the danger, people were still going and sending their kids to the campus to class, thinking that the lava sinkholes wouldn't really come that far and would stay on the outskirts of town - almost as if they were thinking "the lava wouldn't dare." But, it did dare and I saw a lava sinkhole open up in one empty lab classroom. Then, lava sinkholes began opening up all over the campus.

I woke up.

This dream is not only connected to the dream I had a few nights ago, but to repetitive dreams I've had for decades over the course of my adult life (although it has been many many years since I had the last one before this latest one last night).

In my repetitive dreams like this one, I have either been in my own town (where I went to nursing school) or in the town about 30 miles away (where I went to University to get my degree in research biochemistry) or in the redneck rural area just outside my town's city limits called Grape Creek. In my dreams, I am in these places where lava is breaking through the solid earth (no sinkholes in my repetitive dreams before this one) and I am jumping over the open places using the remaining and moving solid portions of the earth like stepping stones, trying to get to a safe place. Most of the time, I made it to safety, but one time, I was swallowed up by a ocean sized wave of lava near the road which leads to Grape Creek. Though I was swallowed up by it, my consciousness wasn't dissolved in it. That particular dream was quite a long time ago, maybe around 10 years ago (and it was also the last dream I had like this before this latest one).

In my repetitive dreams of lava bursting up through the earth, I have moved it seems from being one trying to avoid the lava myself to one observing it from a distance. Also, the lava itself has moved from the midwest in the heart of the land to a coastal area near the sea.

Both Kaun and Fe are related to fire. All of the dreams are concerned with towns where there are institutions of higher learning (as there was also in the dream from my previous post). There is a water connection in these dreams - Grape Creek is a rural place attached to my town with a fresh water creek flowing through it - this corresponds to the salt sea near the coastal town in this latest dream. Both water and salt are among the eight directional elements (earth, air, fire, water, salt, iron, yeast, venom) in the magical system of Northern Tradition, and both elements are required to sustain organic life. Another distinguishing difference between previous dreams and this one - there were no earthen sinkholes in my previous lava dreams, but there was an ocean sized wave of lava in one of them (from an oceanic sinkhole back through time?)

Hagall - Seed of Solution

Bifrost Bridge

This is going to be a complex post, but I am going to write it as best I can to hopefully illustrate just how elegantly complex the deep mind works.

Last night's rune drawing was Elhaz (Algiz). The previous night's rune drawing was Hagall. Both were drawn in proximity to my newest candle Noble Beast (Gofugt Dyr) listed in my shoppe on Tuesday.

Last night, I dreamt.

I was in a large university science classroom that had five huge chalkboard-screens up at the head of the classroom. Students were challenged to put forth each his or her own theory on the matter at hand. Several students did, and each theory was evaluated together by the class. Then, I accepted the challenge and came up to write my theory out on the boards at the head of the classroom.

I kept writing ... and writing, and writing, until I had the whole faces of all five boards full of equations and graphics and words delineating the details of my theory. The teacher and students were wowed. The teacher requested I put the information on overhead transparencies to be used in the next class, which as soon as asked, I had the completed overhead transparencies in my hand.

I was ok with letting them be used for teaching the next class, but they were my work, so I wanted to take them with me when I left to use them in my continued work. So, I stayed as an observer for the next class and missed my bus home.

Another male student was sitting at a desk near mine, and a second male student at a desk near the first male student near me. We three teamed up as it became known in the classroom that many teachers and other 'government' workers were going to lose their jobs and not get paid in order to grossly overpay the top people in the 'government' (I interpret this to symbolize the overall ruling spiritual powers in an established order of human organization - not as any particular real life human government). It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, it wasn't a JUST flow of resources (reminds me of the hoarding of the Nibelungen treasure).

We three left the classroom as the class finished. I had my overhead transparencies with me. We three headed over to a car to go to our homes, but the car wouldn't start. We needed to rig the car to be able to start before dark, as we couldn't fight the government at the level we were at (and we needed to get the car started to get to where we were going - the next level). So, one of the guys opened up the hood, took out a bag of garbage from underneath the hood of the car, and threw it into the dumpster. The car started and we got in ...

... to a spaceship. We were out in space with our crew working on the project developed from my theory. My theory involved cheap and clean manufacture of a new essentially endless energy that would free up humankind as never before. It was so cheap, clean and abundant that even the poorest could get all they needed. But it made the people in the 'government' angry, as they didn't want this new energy source to become available on earth. They had anticipated that I would work this project out into reality, and had planted a betrayer on our spaceship who was going to sabotage and attempt to destroy our successful endeavor. That betrayer was the second male student who had been sitting near the male student who had been sitting near me.

As the first male student and I discovered this, I found myself thrust back into a car - which promptly got into an accident. I was going to die unless we figured out the solution. The first male student was outside the window of the car as it lay from the accident. He blurted out, "IN YOUR ÞURS (purse)! It's in your Þurs!" In other words, the solution was in my Þurs. I reached over, reaching into my purse, and pulled it (the solution) out. As I did this, these runes and words flew forth, "ᛉᚦ together forever." We had won the solution and outwitted fate. All was well and I woke up safe in my bed. Ideas poured out.

ᛉᚦ together forever (the solution) is a two-edged sword and a Rainbow Bridge.

The two-edged sword Rainbow Bridge is my birth rune Hagall ᚼ.

ᚼ is composed of a bindrune consisting of Elhaz and two runes Þurs, as quantum chaotic Þurs can decohere it's structure into any manifest form to show it's other face as can Hela, such that the point of each Þurs is infacing.

Elhaz in Hagal:

Hela's two infacing runes Þurs are additionally composed of two runes Kenaz and two runes Isa - signifying the Torch-Illumination of the Noble Beast face to face and in communication with the Torch-Illumination of the Highest Wode Self. Consequently, Hagall represents bringing the ultimate light of awareness from darkness, where darkness is the source of light.

 Hail Hela!

Naudh - Back to the Beginning of Life

My shoppe's Dark Draconian Dragon Eye Aegishjalmur Bindrune Logo.

Yesterday, I created several new offerings for my Etsy shoppe, Witchcrafts Artisan Alchemy. Among them, I created two powerfully potent new dark arts oils, namely Dark Draconian and Black Sabbatica. For these two oils, I developed a necromantic poem spell:

Out of the deepest depths I call you,
From dark dreams, silent wells and black visions,
Rise upon the murmuring mists edging the Night
Through the Dragon's Eye in the Void,
Let dead lips open, and blood runes of awareness fly forth
And let the living listen ... 

Last night's rune drawing was naudh, the rune which drives evolution. Then, I dreamt.

I was driving my car, all at once, near the court house, the hospital and town center shopping plaza. In the passenger seat was my friend who was a boy. I dropped him off at work, at the hospital-court house (these places were distinct in appearance, but I saw them both simultaneously) located in the western part of town. Then I drove east down Main Street, toward Pennsylvania Avenue where I lived (used to live in real life). I was now driving a nice new shiny black and powerfully built pickup truck (reminds me of the Dodge Ram-tough slogan).

I pulled into a restaurant which had curb service. This restaurant does not exist in my town in real life, at least it hasn't existed here in my lifetime. (I had a sense of time past mixed with time present, so perhaps this restaurant existed in the past.) There were also booths and tables inside the restaurant. I went inside and placed my order for takeout. Two men ran the restaurant. They recognized me, people had been there looking for me.

Back out in my power pickup truck again, I placed my food order container on the passenger floorboard while I drove. My container of food was in a Long John Silver's fish dinner box. I continued driving east toward Pennsylvania Avenue.

I went inside my house, but instead of being inside my house, I was in the house of my business nemesis (who was not at home). In a back room, the old grandfather lay on a bed in a coma state. He was trying to communicate with me - telepathically - instinctually, without words or images, I came to know that there was a stack of DVDs in the living room - I was to go download them (watch them). I went into the living room and downloaded the DVD's into my mind. These DVD's contained family memories.

As I was downloading, I saw my nemesis and her boyfriend at some mixed point in time in an apartment. They sat down together on this rounded large chest-like stool-like chair. As they sat down together, the insides of the stool-chair collapsed like a vacuum, sucking them down into the void within it.

Then I had a vision where I saw the North American continent. The northern border (of the USA) shared with Canada and along the western coast were being consumed by the void (like Nidhogg consumes). It reminded me of the Langoliers eating up everything in their path, only instead of leaving a black nothingness, they left a white nothingness - a formless white void. I issued a warning to those living in the path of the expanding whitish void of the danger of being consumed into aconscious nothingness.

Then I was back in the house of my nemesis, and was worried about being caught as an intruder, even though I thought I had entered my own house. Then my nemesis, her boyfriend and her mother came home and found me. My nemesis didn't want me there, but her mother did. At this point, I realized that we were part of the same folk soul. Though I was experiencing this part of the dream action from the perspective of being in the house of my nemesis, I was not an intruder, I was kin. So, I stuck around and my nemesis went off in a huff into another room (the kitchen) with her boyfriend and a few other friends.

The mother of my nemesis and I went into the back (and now basement room) with the grandfather who lay in a coma. The grandfather now had characteristics of being both a grandfather and a grandmother. The mother of my nemesis and I prepared the body as if we were ritually preparing a body for burial, although the body was not dead, but in a death-like still-living state.

The body was wearing a vest. We tied the ties which were part of the structure of the vest. The vest reminded me of the breastplate of judgment (the choshen mishpat of Middle Eastern Levant tradition, and looking it up after waking, of a Northern Tradition indigenous tribal shaman's breastplate - and particularly as it pertains to tribal cultures, to the dress of "light shamans").

Then I saw that a bassinet-shaped collection container near one wall in the room was collecting "smelly yellowish liquid shit" (like the stool of someone with advanced alcoholic cirrhosis) from a stoma from the body (note - I rarely drink alcohol). As I noticed it, the mother said to me, "yes, we (the family of my nemesis) have to deal with this shit."

As we completed tying the ties on the body's vest, a mass of water was welling up around the house and threatening to collapse the walls inward. A hall door to the outside by the body's room bulged inward and collapsed, but it reformed as I looked at it, and no water flooded into the house or collapsed its walls, even though the water still surrounded the house all around. We walked up the stairs toward the main part of the house.

I woke up briefly, recorded my dream, then fell back asleep, and dreamt again.

I was with others at a fancy boarding school. I wasn't sure if I belonged there, so I pretended to be a worker employed by the school. I went to a back room (one of my sons was with me while I was doing this) and took medical notes, acting like I was doing some work in case I was caught being there and I wasn't supposed to be.

But, someone came in (an old female DON I used to work for) and asked me to join everyone else in the banquet room to eat. As I walked through another dining room toward the banquet hall, I picked up a delicate teacup which had been sitting on a lovely wooden antique cupboard with orange juice in it and drank it.

In the banquet hall, I went up to the buffet with others in the line and started fixing my plate of food. I looked for the ice, and the person beside me pointed to the bowl of ice cubes. I picked some out and put them into my glass.

Then suddenly, I had a vision of a single celled organism surrounded by emptiness as I woke up startled by the intensity of the sight of the very first cell from which all life began.

Laying in bed, it also came to me suddenly that the ginnungagap (magically charged void) is consciousness associated with the very first ancestral cell from which all life began (and superposed, to each single cell from which each human being still begins life), and that the division into polarities of fire and ice are related to the very first case of cellular mitosis leading to reproduction. Importantly, the ginnungagap is a magically charged (black) void containing the spark of consciousness, whereas the (white) void associated with Nidhogg is an aconscious void which is not magically charged with consciousness as is the ginnungagap.

Footnote:

My poem is one I developed specifically for my own work - it was fashioned in the manner of two poems - one found in the Havamal in the Poetic Edda and another one in Aegishjalmur, the Book of Dragon Runes by Michael Kelly.

Ansuz - The Witches

Last night's nightly rune drawing - Ansuz, followed by some of last night's dream.

I was found by a man and a woman traveling together from a dark group of witches. I joined up with them. We started out toward the group's school hall and meeting place.

It was dark outside, night time. We walked down I-74, the interstate which runs near where I live. There were no vehicles on the interstate, in any lane, or from any direction.  I laid down in the road while the man conducted some claiming-marking and initiatory ritual over my body as the woman kept watch.

Then we proceeded to the witches school-meeting hall, where witches from all around gathered. I was put into the care of another woman witch at the place and magically groomed, right where I stood in the hall, for the gathering. As I was being groomed, I began shapeshifting where I stood, transforming and growing into my full awesome witch form. Others, both new witches and seasoned witches, started gathering around me as the grooming witch was magically pouring toward me the spell causing me to "show myself," to unfold as the witch I am. They were awed at my form and power.

I stretched, my form levitated, my feet leaving the ground, and I hovered hanging in the air. I looked toward my feet, which were greenish - I had extended long toes and demon-like feet. I felt my fingers were the same, although I didn't look at them. I felt the power of myself course through my body, unfolding my form, I felt the awesomeness of my electrically charged transformation. So did everyone gathered around. I was a very powerful witch. My body was vibrating-trembling ever so slightly, buzzing with the energy of my transformation. The witches gathered around were ohh-ing and ahh-ing with wonder over my transformation.

After this, I pulled back into my "normal witch" form as we all later made our way into the meeting hall for the witches gathering. There were bleacher seats where most of the witches sat, myself included with my two friends, the two who had brought me into the group. The head witches were down at the front and started the meeting. It was time for us to all transform from our normal witch forms into our witchy witch forms for the meeting.

Everyone began their transformation, as did I. Most witches did not levitate, I'm not sure any others did in fact, but when I transformed, my powerful witch form naturally levitated from the power emanating from me. Again, everyone, even in their witch forms, started looking at me, awestruck by the ancient awesomeness I exuded even as I was still transforming. The head witch, her transformation completed, started talking, sounding afraid.

One of my friends, even as I was floating still in the process of transforming (my transformation took longer as it went farther), challenged the head witch's power, exclaiming, "look! here is our Head Witch who will lead us in the right direction!"

I finished my full transformation - I was an extremely tall, ancient witch, my form breathtakingly powerfully. I flew down to the front of the room and put my hand out in the air over the head witch. She disintegrated, leaving only her clothes in a pile on the floor. She was no more. I picked up her secret card and publicized it to the room, that head witch was no more. I was now the Head Witch.

The other witch who had been at the front of the room by the side of the previous head witch was shaking in her chair, fearful of what I would do to her. I went over to her and demanded her secret card. She gave it to me. I publicized it to the gathering of witches, but I told her she would get a new secret card. I didn't disintegrate her like I had the previous head witch, who had taken a turn to lead the group in the wrong direction.

I flew up over the crowd of witches in the bleacher seats, showering out gold blessings over all of them as I flew.

Business was finished and we all began transforming into our normal witch selves. Again, my return to my normal witch form took longer as I had farther to go. I was back up in the bleachers with my friends by a refreshments punch bowl. I was still transforming back, but I still played some magic with my female friend over the punch bowl, each of us shooting waves of magic into the bowl from our fingers, making a green witches' brew punch for everyone to drink as part of the refreshments being served. We were having fun, laughing and playing, making the witches' brew.

My male friend came over and sat by us as we finished making the witches' brew punch. We were laughing from having a good ole time doing this girlie girl magic. He sat down beside me as I wiped over one of my eyes with my hand, which left it surrounded with black like real witches's eyes have. My male friend wiped over my other eye with his hand, leaving it also black like real witches' eyes are. He kissed my eye as he did it, saying to my girl friend, "I brought her in so I could kiss her."

My transformation back into normal my witch self was complete, I was a normal witch again like everyone else.

I woke up. Now, that's an awesome Ansuz witch dream!

Naudh & the Sacred Tree Bear with a Full Belly

Last night, my nightly rune drawing was naudh. Then I went to sleep.

I dreamt of a brown bear resting on the ground under and leaning against the trunk of a tree outside in my yard. I was cautious and respectful of the bear's power, even though it was not dangerous, for it had a full belly.

Bears are revered by the ancient Saami and by most Northern cultures. In Man, God and Magic, Ivar Lissner writes:

There is an ancient belief that the bear is in communication with the lord of the mountains and with the sky, and certainly he has from time immemorial been surrounded by an aura which enjoins caution and respect.

This informs me that, in follow-up to one of my previous posts (My Saami Self - Gripping the Beast, the Serpent Bright) that Nidhogg has "given up" my past selves to the lord of the mountains, namely, to my fylgja, the giant lord of the mountain, who in this most recent dream has taken on the form of a brown bear. This is good, very good.

To my ancient circumpolar Saami ancestors, to at least one of my selves as a Saami woman, and to many of my Northern European ancestors, Bear was a top totemic representation of Deity and archetypal messenger to and from the supernatural world.

In ancient Saami religion, success in any dangerous endeavor pertaining to survival and abundance, was dependent upon the goodwill of Bear.

The Saami call Bear ìsaivoî (sacred).

Taking all of this together, like my fylgja, Bear mediates between my incarnate self and my Wode Self. Bear, with a full belly sitting against and beneath a tree on the ground in my yard, has "taken up" possession of my previous selves from Nidhogg. Bear is not dangerous to me. Brown Bear is earth-associated, Midgard-associated, and Naudh-associated. Consequently, the knowledge of my previous selves held within the belly of Bear are now stepping forth into open manifestation in my current life in Midgard.

Hail Bear!

Saami Runes and the Tree Serpent

An few interesting tidbits, in follow-up to my previous post ... In an article on Runes and Serpent Worship Among the Saami, I find this:

James Fergusson mentions in the book “Tree and Serpent Worship” (1873) that the Saami still worshiped serpents and trees in the early 1800eds.

and

Even if most objects and monuments of the ancient Saami culture are lost, there is some evidence that support that the Saami used runic scripts since the Iron Age.

On a shale spear point found in Åsele Lappmark (Sweden) there are engraved runes that are dated to 400 – 600 CE and the authors of the following article concludes that they could have been engraved by Saami people.

Beyond the Boundaries of the Universe - The Master Game - Able

Hagalaz - Beyond the Boundaries of the Universe

In follow-up to my previous post, after falling asleep early this morning, I dreamt. Though many of the details have faded, this is what I jotted down about the ending of the dream:

I was in a house with many rooms, being "chased" (of sorts) from room to room as I was trying to avoid being poisoned by someone on the outside. The person (or persons had some kind of paternal grandfather connection) and at one point, slipped worms into the carpet of the dining room through sliding glass patio doors. I saw what he did and didn't step into that room to be infected by the worms. Instead, I went into the living room and walked toward the front door which was locked.

The grandfatherly poisoner was coming toward the front door, but I "busted out" through the front door into an entirely new larger building of rooms, leaving him behind outside the little house. There were others and other families in this larger building also going room to room, being "chased" (sort of, but not in an aggressively dangerous sort of way).

A dragon (which actually looked like a beautiful white horse or unicorn) from outside one window in one room "came into" the room through the (paneless) window with us. Many were afraid, but someone said the dragon was not dangerous. It came up to me as I faced it and just looked at me, then it went back to its place outside the window. I felt it's evaluation and approval of me. I felt stamped with a seal of approval by it through its gaze.

We all came to the final room. Outside the big paneless picture window was a great dark void. We were standing at the boundaries of the Universe. Outside the window, the dark space was a charged magical void (ginnungagap). Directly in front of us but outside the paneless window, was a sort of "desk island" or station that was "tethered" to the room structure in which we were standing - this station was the last possible place to go to see and yet still be able to return to the current structure. I had the feeling that going beyond that, by jumping into the magical void, one would either "dissolve" one's individual consciousness or remain whole of individual consciousness for a new incarnation.

Some were afraid, and wanted to "just see" what would happen if someone was pushed out the window. Someone pushed out an older woman and she fell into the magical void. We couldn't see what happened to her. The only way to find out, was to go out the picture window oneself.

We were all waiting for our medical test results to see if it would be safe to go outside into the magical void, either to the tethered station or to jump into it completely. A medical worker came into the room with everyone's tests results. I was handed mine. On the front of the envelope was my name - Lori Lappin.

I opened it. Being a medical professional myself, I noticed that some of my results were beyond the bounds of "normal" range. As I was looking at my results, the medical professional who had delivered my results watched me and spoke to me as I was mentally noting the values of mine which were beyond the bounds of normal - she said my results were "very good," dispelling any idea that these "not normal" values might be a bad thing. In fact, my results were very good because of the values which were beyond the range of "normal."

I had been a single person not part of the nuclear families in the room with me, but I then became aware of my mate (fylgja) beside me. He was still not sure that it would be safe for us to go outside the paneless window fully into the magical void or out to the tethered station (from which we could still return back to our current structure (incarnation). He communicated to me his thought that even though I was a whole cosmic seed, we might remain stuck in that state and remain like that forever. But I knew, I just knew, and said to him, "you expand it." We would not remain stuck like that or dissolve - we would reincarnate whole again. I knew if we jumped out the window, we would take off our current forms and be reborn whole of individual consciousness again, because I was strong enough to hold us together, and he was strong enough to expand us from our cosmic seed. We are strong enough, we are able.

I woke up.

Interestingly, in the same tv show I watched last night between my previous Fornekja post and my Birth Rune post, another synchronicity occurred in that episode - in my dream was featured a magical tether (just as was featured a dance called Fire and Ice) - my Universe finds ways to teach me.

Runic Transformation of Ubilaz

Ubilaz is a proto-Germanic word typically translated as evil. Etymologically, ubilaz is thought to come from the "Proto-Indo-European root *wep- (“bad”), making it cognate with Old Irish fel (“bad”), Hittite  (huwap(p)-/hup(p)-, “to mistreat”)." Alternatively, ubilaz may come from the "Proto-Indo-European *upélos (“evil”, literally "going over or beyond (acceptable limits)"), from Proto-Indo-European *upo, *up, *eup (“down, up, over”)."

One website describes the concept of evil:

Definitions of evil vary along with analysis of its root motive causes, however general actions commonly considered evil include: conscious and deliberate wrongdoing, discrimination designed to harm others, humiliation of people designed to diminish their psychological needs and dignity, destructiveness, and acts of unnecessary and/or indiscriminate violence that are not legitimate acts of self-defense but aggressive and designed to cause ill-being to others. 

Transliterated into Younger Futhark runes, ubilaz is spelled:

ur-bjarken-iss-logr-ar-sol - ᚢ ᛒᛁᛚᛅᛋ

A master over evil can take the runes and runic energies which comprise this word, break them apart, and transform the letter-energy into anything she or he desires, thereby nullifying the evil through transformation. As the old saying goes, would that good had the singleminded power of evil!

Óþörf & the Mighty Thurs

In follow-up to my previous entry, the word used in Havamal 164 (commonly translated as both un-needed or woe) is óþörf.

The transliteration of óþörf into Younger Futhark runes is ᚢᚦᛆᚢᚱᚠ (ur-thurs-ar-ur-reidh-fe).

Looking at the runes which formulate the whole word (óþörf), the first ur and the ar-ur surrounding the thurs could be seen as strengthening the thurs, while the last letters reidh-fe make the strengthened thurs both mobile and increased. So, looking at the runes of the word this way makes a case for seeing the word as potentially curse-like and whether or not it actually plays out that way is wholly dependent upon how one handles the thurs rune. The runes themselves make the case for the word carrying a potentially curse-like energy, as opposed to merely the "woe" translation making the case.

Links In A Mystery Chain

Mystery Chain Rune Equation in Elder & Short Twig Younger Futhark Runes

How I envision the connection between Othala (inherited ancestral Tradition, in my mind) and Arfr (ᛆᚱᚠᚱ), that is, Tradition as linguistically encoded in Old Norse:

                           ᛃ
Othala ---> Runa ---> Arfr
                          ᛆᛆ

Othala (ᛟ) in form seems to me to be of a feminine essence or androgynous (and wholly transcendent).

Runa (ᚱᚢᚾᛆ) is the partially hidden, yet active feminine principle transmitter (activated as opposed to active transcendence in Ur mixed with immanence). Runa orders or arranges that to be transmitted in the Underworld, draws it up into superconsciousness, rains it down into consciousness, and returns, passing it to Arfr.

Arfr (ᛆᚱᚠᚱ Old Norse for transcendent Ancestral Tradition as a opposed Sithr or customs ) is the active male principle transmitter (actively immanent).

The Younger Futhark rune Ar (ᛆ) is given to be descended from the Elder Futhark rune Jera (ᛃ). The rune Ar at the end of Runa and at the beginning of Arfr could reflect the individuation of Jera into two runes Ar. The individuation of Jera into the two runes Ar could be seen as "the reward for the actions of the past" as Edred Thorsson writes in Northern Magic, making the point of transmission from Runa to Arfr a point of judgment for good or bad such that the rune Naudh (ᚾ) in Runa could represent the critical turning point in the process from transcendence into immanent manifestation.

Furi Fire Rune Poem - Gripping Beast

One of the triadic names of the rune Fehu, is Furi (fire). From my old geocities website - Instrument, now also Gripping Beast

thirst

heart and soul and might
all of it, one instrument
off the edge
gripped within
simple strokes uncoiling
something essential, something true
crazy, insane
wild
a serpent song, a scorpion tale
stringing through dark dark sounds
of a brilliant lovestory

quick!
catch it!

Ingwaz Rune Poem - Presence By The River

From my old geocites website - Presence By The River, now also an Ingwaz Rune Poem

walking thinking sitting contemplating
thoughtless restless meandering crazy light
I am
looking down upon the waters
flowing through life, quiet solitude covering
like warm mud between my toes, humming busy bees nearby
once a sad river breeze, my hair flowing in tune
thoughtless restless meandering crazy light
I am
smelling sound soft in the air
presence all around
among the reeds and grasses and whispering leaves
shadows of time playing in the mind
conceived, coming down
quiet river breathing, destiny shining, emptiness bursting full
curious creature is the mysterious living creature
I am
full of folly, wonderful folly
like warm mud between my toes, tapping a chaotic rhythm
because, just because I can
thoughtless restless meandering crazy light
because, just because
I am