Truth & Diligence - Candle In The Womb

all pathways to Hashem are steadfast chesed ... Tehilim 25:10
ner Hashem nishmat adam ... Niddah 30b
I have been diligent ... Tehilim 102:8
diligently I have remembered ... Tehilim 119:4

Once upon time, You and I walked together.

See what I am doing. Look here. See what I am making. Edges. i see what You are making. i see edges. What are edges?

Look. See what edges are doing. Looking, i see what edges are doing. What do edges feel like? Ohh! to feeeel edges! to feel edges against edges! to know edges!

Look. See. See edges against edges. These will be your edges and edges. This is what edges will do. Look and see.

i don't have the strength. i can't do it.

I will do it. I will carry you through it, to it that swallows all pain, the brightening and the brilliance.

How wonderful the things for me i see. Yes! Yes! Edges to feel! Wonderful edges with wonderful things to do!

i could remember thinking a doing things, but my senses did retain not perceptions, although a smell would remain within me, marking their actuality. i was unable to fully form and hold onto the ideas that existed in my mind.

Ohhh! to remember the feel of my edges!

Like a hug all around me loosened. In an instant, my eyes could see. i was startled and amazed at the impact of remembering whole perceptions. i felt in existence.

How wonderful! This beautiful mo-ment in time!

My mother walking away, toward the yellow and white thing, opening it to pull out a cloth for my bottom. Mother! Mother! i can see!

But words as I had spoken with You would not form in my mouth of edges. Realizing that for as much as definition was desirable, for the first time, i felt limit. Turning around to speak ... but i could not turn around in remembering edges! i turned my head instead.

Ohhh! no! i can feel and hear You, but i cannot see You!

I am here.

i did not understand! i want to come home! i want to come home!

you have edges to feel and do, do you remember?

Yes, i remember how i saw with You.

you will never be alone.

But i cannot see You in this world of edges! And i will not feel and hear You always as i do now, i fear. i want to come home!

Do not fear. I will bring you home. Home is forward. Go. I will never leave you alone. Smell what I feel like. Remember. I will bring you home. I promise. Remember. I will always be with you. Remember and do not be afraid. Look at all the wonderful edges I have made ...

i turned and looked into the room, and tried to speak with my mouth of edges ... yes, i see ...

... ... ... and i remember still today that you will carry me through it, to it ... the brightening and the brilliance.


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The Fool & The Rasha

When the Holy One was about to perfect the world, all of the letters of the Aleph-Beit were playing together. For six thousand years the Holy One had contemplated how to do it, playing with thinking with them. When the Holy One stood to actually do it, all the letters presented themselves before the Holy One. Each letter, standing before the Holy One, wanted to be called up first, except tav and reish. Reish was used to playing second fiddle to beit, the blessed of creation (bereshit), and only desired to truly love - his whole purpose for being. And tav, used to being the last letter in the word of creation, was in the dark and couldn't figure out what all the desire to be first was about. You see, tav, the letter of truth, was in true love with reish, a letter so full of absolute clarity that tav felt sure that reish should be first. Surely, thought tav, the Holy One will see as I do that reish is naturally destined to be first, so reishit he is. But, the Holy One, had an eye only for tav and called her up.

Yet tav was not deterred from her love for reish, despite the Holy One's attention. May it please Thee, oh Holy One of the world, if I must be firstly, please oh please, send me enfolded enjoined as one with reish (tav aleph reish - harmony), in the perfecting of the world so that the world can see with perfect harmony, perfect truth. For, apart from reish, tav told the Holy One, I cannot be truly perfected. And that is the upright truth. The Holy One said to tav:

Thou art worthy and deserving, oh tav, but is the world kosher yet that I should make harmony first? For thou, tav, have been destined since before creating began to serve as a mark upon the faithful ones who have kept the Law from aleph to tav. And further, thou formest the conclusion of mavet (death), and therefore, thou hast been destined to formest the beginning of THE GATHERING into life everlasting. This also being true, how can I join thee, oh tav, to reish, the rasha?

All the letters were silent in the face of the Holy One's simple question, thinking how tav was such an impudent fool to give up sole appointment to first place, for a rasha even. But tav, having the true chutzpah only a true fool posseses, faced the Holy One, saying, with a clarity so true, like a light from the darkness: reish is clearly only beautiful in the eyes of truth - see how much he desires only to truly love? Surely, oh Holy One, you must see the perfect truth as I do.

The Holy One smiled and began perfecting the world with the true harmony of this one perfect endlessly true love. And then the Holy One granted both reish and tav the one united desire of both - to love truly. And then the Holy One gave them a place far from the demands of occupying first place in the plan of the Holy One - lost in the eyes of one another somewhere in Holy One's world, loving truly with one singular heart full of unextinguished essential peace.

And now we can see that when it comes to making true harmony in the world - it's a job only true fools and rashas are fit to do.