Thursday, July 06, 2006

Truth & Diligence - Candle In The Womb

all pathways to Hashem are steadfast chesed ... Tehilim 25:10
ner Hashem nishmat adam ... Niddah 30b
I have been diligent ... Tehilim 102:8
diligently I have remembered ... Tehilim 119:4

Once upon time, You and I walked together.

See what I am doing. Look here. See what I am making. Edges. i see what You are making. i see edges. What are edges?

Look. See what edges are doing. Looking, i see what edges are doing. What do edges feel like? Ohh! to feeeel edges! to feel edges against edges! to know edges!

Look. See. See edges against edges. These will be your edges and edges. This is what edges will do. Look and see.

i don't have the strength. i can't do it.

I will do it. I will carry you through it, to it that swallows all pain, the brightening and the brilliance.

How wonderful the things for me i see. Yes! Yes! Edges to feel! Wonderful edges with wonderful things to do!

i could remember thinking a doing things, but my senses did retain not perceptions, although a smell would remain within me, marking their actuality. i was unable to fully form and hold onto the ideas that existed in my mind.

Ohhh! to remember the feel of my edges!

Like a hug all around me loosened. In an instant, my eyes could see. i was startled and amazed at the impact of remembering whole perceptions. i felt in existence.

How wonderful! This beautiful mo-ment in time!

My mother walking away, toward the yellow and white thing, opening it to pull out a cloth for my bottom. Mother! Mother! i can see!

But words as I had spoken with You would not form in my mouth of edges. Realizing that for as much as definition was desirable, for the first time, i felt limit. Turning around to speak ... but i could not turn around in remembering edges! i turned my head instead.

Ohhh! no! i can feel and hear You, but i cannot see You!

I am here.

i did not understand! i want to come home! i want to come home!

you have edges to feel and do, do you remember?

Yes, i remember how i saw with You.

you will never be alone.

But i cannot see You in this world of edges! And i will not feel and hear You always as i do now, i fear. i want to come home!

Do not fear. I will bring you home. Home is forward. Go. I will never leave you alone. Smell what I feel like. Remember. I will bring you home. I promise. Remember. I will always be with you. Remember and do not be afraid. Look at all the wonderful edges I have made ...

i turned and looked into the room, and tried to speak with my mouth of edges ... yes, i see ...

... ... ... and i remember still today that you will carry me through it, to it ... the brightening and the brilliance.

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