Runic All-Mother

Hel

The runes support the idea that Hel may rightfully be called the All-Mother. Hagalaz, the mother of all runes, is Hel's rune. Berkano, the rune of the Great Goddess, is a half-half form as is Hel.

Understanding Principal Component 1 and Principal Component 2 In Population Genetics

I've analyzed my genetic data using some of the data tools on the web which make use of Principal Component Analysis and have wondered what the plotted variables (namely PCA-1 and PCA-2) are exactly. For others like myself who may have also wondered, regarding PCA-1 and PCA-2 as they pertain to Principal Component Analysis as used in populations genetics - the video below at [1:07:20-1:07:49] explains the significance of Principal Components 1 and 2 in population genetics:

Commenter - "In your final slide, the upper map was Principle Component 1 which is consistent with the out of Africa Hypothesis, but the lower map - I'm wondering if that's Principal Component 2 ...?"

Evolutionary geneticist Richard Lewontin - "It is."

Commenter - "... and I'm wondering that because there's a line across Africa at the Sahara, there's a line across Eurasia at the Urals, and that would seem to suggest that the primary signal of human genetics is out of Africa and the colonization of the planet, but the next strongest signal is the regional differentiation?"

Lewontin - "Absolutely, you're quite right about that."

So, PCA 1 represents combined genetic elements corresponding to the movement of homo sapiens out of Africa, while PCA 2 represents combined genetic elements corresponding to the differentiation of regional populations of homo sapiens.

My Magical Comb

My hand carved deer antler magical comb.

This is my hand carved magical comb. Made of genuine naturally shed whitetail deer antler (in honor of my Scandinavian U5b1b1-T16192C! genetic motherline), I will soon be ritually risting my own runes into it. I haven't decided what runes I'm going to inscribe yet - I will likely not post that either. May my family's hamingja be strengthened, be our might and main increased!

Notes on Experience Surrounding ᛗᚹᚨ

In follow-up to my previous post (Voces Mysticae - ᛗᚹᚨ), this post records the dream and astral experiences surrounding the reception of this 3-rune phonetic phrase.

I woke up very early this morning before sunrise to the sound of my mother getting ready for work in the bathroom on the other side of the wall against which my bed is situated. I fell back 'asleep', sort of.

Suddenly, I was in my astral body, outside in the front yard near the road which runs in front of our rural home. It was dark outside. I noticed that the row of hedge [haag?] trees was not there as it is now, but the yard looked as it did when I was a little girl when all the neighborhood kids (myself included) would play a hiding game, 'hiding' from cars coming down the road at night with their lights on - we would drop down into the deep ditch which ran parallel to the rural road which ran east-west, sitting north of the property.

A car with its lights on was coming down the road from the east going west, I didn't drop down into the ditch - I remained floating in midair ('flying' in my astral body), caught in the light of the car's headlights as it approached. I wondered if the occupants of the car could see me in my astral body. They didn't seem to at all, as the car continued along its merry way, not slowing down nor doing anything to indicate that the driver could see my 'ghostly' form or anything unusual.

The car passed, and suddenly again, I saw a fog approaching across the road. It wasn't a desirable thing to be overcome by the approaching fog [Niflheimr?], so I went back towards the house to return to my body. Then things changed again, nothing was oriented as it was supposed to be to make navigating my way back to where my body lay easy. The road was now south of the house, windows were mismatched to their actual locations. As an astral being, I got caught by some kind of metal gripping contraption where a tv antennae used to be on the west wall of the house which was also a bit out of its place. Though I struggled, I couldn't get loose of its grip. Suddenly, I looked up toward my own bedroom window where inside, a belled pentacle [femsteor] wind chime hung - through it light streamed toward me - I was immediately released from the contraption's grip and woke up back inside my body.

I heard my mother in the bathroom drying her hair with her hair dryer.

I began to drift off again, but before I did, I 'saw' an ancient Viking 'drop down' into my world into my room.

I drifted off to sleep. There was a Viking raid in my ancient village. I'm not sure if I was a native of the particular village or not - I'm inclined to think probably not as I don't really recall that kind of emotional connection in the dream. Vikings were all over the village. I was trying to find a place to hide, but still out in the open, one Viking saw me. Everyone in the village was killed in the raid but me. I was captured by the Viking who had 'dropped down' as I had drifted off to sleep. He had decided to keep me - I became his captive bride, although I soon came to love him - he treated me well and loved me.

As I began to wake up, I heard the utterance - "mwa." ᛗᚹᚨ

Voces Mysticae - ᛗᚹᚨ

ALU, An Advanced Guide to Operative Runology

 
My copy of ALU, An Advanced Guide to Operative Runology by Edred Thorsson came in the mail yesterday! Yay! Read the first chapter, and had some awesome dreams (including an astral experience) last night, complete with another mystical 3-rune phonetic phrase (a voces mysticae, also known as voces magicae) - ᛗᚹᚨ

Runic Warriors - Conversations In Valhalla

Bear with me, I'm pretty excited about what I've just discovered. Background, this is what I wrote in a private forum thread, with significant parts emphasized:

... hearing the cacophony [ancestral Voice of the Many as described in Celtic mystical tradition] was pretty common for me about two decades ago, the commanding male voice was common about a decade ago. Now, I don't have either experience much anymore. I used to "see" runes and other magical letters/symbols written in the inky black darkness around me in the room alot about a decade ago too. Once in awhile I'll hear a discussion between two people, and even occasionally, I'd hear a group talking - like discussing me in a small meeting - sometimes their discussion was along the lines of "should we tell her?" "is this a good idea?" and so on, as if a group of beings were discussing amongst themselves just how much should be revealed to me by the main male communicator who I would hear more directly. Mostly, I'd just hear the commanding male, but like I said, a few times, he'd open up the veil for me to hear what else was going on around me - like the conversation of the small group discussing me. Also, many times, it wouldn't be my name I would hear, it would be a "magical phrase" (for lack of a better term) - words not in any language I'd ever learned and I'd often have to decipher the meaning using the meaning of the letters and syllables as I understood them. These mystery phrases became more common than hearing my name.

Here are the connections I'm making regarding this:

In the study of such formulas among Classicists and Egyptologists the idea that the voces mysticae were mere nonsense or gibberish has been once and for all rejected. By applying some of the same anthropological research as I used in Runes & Magic (1986), Gager concludes that the voces mysticae are forms of precise communication with beings of a higher order than man. Furthermore he points out that "the use of unintelligible forms of speech ... signaled the passage from the lower mundane realms to the sphere of true spiritual conversation with higher orders of being (Gager 1992, 9-10)." - source, Jelling Runes: Fifth International Symposium on Runes & Runic Inscriptions, page 77-78.

A few lines down from that quoted above, I also note this little bit:

Evidence seems to indicate that the Germanic rune-masters, and more especially the self-designated Erulians, were concerned with the same problems of language and symbolism as were the Mediterranean creators of lead tablets, amulets, phylacteries and magical papyri."

So, I looked up these rune-masters, the Erulians, and this is what I found:

So, I’ll conclude with the original question, are the Einherjar necessarily Eurlians? The answer would seem to be no. A warrior may have been chosen for his valor or distinction in battle and not his runic knowledge, not all warriors had this knowledge, and obviously not all warriors were chosen. But what of the Erulian ~ Rune Master? By their very nature, the runic warrior, does battle with elements seen and unseen, in all the worlds. By this virtue they secure for themselves a place at the table in Valhalla. source - Einherjar or Erulian, A Study of How One Arrives at the Table in Valhalla.

Taking all of these little bits together, it's not so inconceivable that the conversations I heard as described above in my experiences (all within the proximal context of seeing runes and other symbols in the inky blackness of the night around me) were conversations taking place in Valhalla among a group of the Einherjar, perhaps among an Einherjar-Erulian rune-master and other Einherjar - and important to me personally - I heard them! in Valhalla!

I'm ecstatic! And now I'm even more set on wanting the 13th warrior prayer said over me at my funeral when I pass over!

Lo, there do I see my father.
Lo, there do I see my mother, my sisters and my brothers.
Lo, there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning.
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them in the halls of Valhalla,
Where the brave, they live forever.

Spark of Active Creative Stellar Consciousness

As those who read my blog may recall, I recently ordered my own set of underworld Dreampower divination cards following my first exposure to them during a Druidic Samhain ancestor offering ritual. Well, my own set arrived! This is my very first reading on myself using them.

Ace of Fire

First card in the Stone Realm (the realm closest to the surface) reveals one's personal story, family or true career work, opportunities, health/body and surface life. Also shows inherited patterns, knots and repetitive spirals from early life and previous lives. I drew the Ace of Fire.

The Ace of Fire is the originative vibrant power of burning brilliant illumination. It is the Spark, ignited and aroused. Appearing in the Stone realm, it is very close to me, Heid, the Bright One. Just under the surface of normative awareness, it burns with a burning red and gold background embracing the central flame. A perfect draw in complete harmony with my Sacred Teutonic Name.

7 of Fire

Second card in the Pearl Realm reveals inner life, inner hidden heart, the light of midnight, personal inner truth, creativity, and the energy that flows through inherited patterns. These patterns open, untie the knotted bundled information to bring liberation, reveal knowledge and transmit mysteries. I drew the 7 of Fire.

The 7 of Fire is Response, Feeling, Intuitiveness - these things imply conscious apprehension of the inherited patterns ignited and burning as noted in the Stone Realm. Moreover, the 7 of Fire in the Pearl Realm indicates that this conscious apprehension flows with creative energy and esoteric inherited ancestral knowledge - my birthright, my ancestral wisdom. My conscious awareness, through this divination reading, touches and reclaims this deep ancestral wisdom as my own. I claim my birthright.

The number 7 in many mystery systems pertains to spiritual completeness and perfection.

The Whirlpool

Third card in the Whirlpool Realm reveals the life of the spirit, the reality of Being, the source of many outer lives, reflects the deepest potential, and carries inherent stellar power of the universe within the individual. I drew The Whirlpool, the trump in its natural realm.

The Whirlpool in its natural realm pertains to Star Consciousness, connection to Universal power and stellar consciousness. In a reading this card reveals subtle far-reaching energies beginning to surface into and permeate life. Taken together with the first two cards, what is beginning to surface and become known in my life is conscious intuitive apprehension of inherited ancestral knowledge, unfolding into an illuminating creative flowing energy from my deepest Source of Being into my everyday mundane reality.

How awesome! So mote it be!

Samhain Dreampower Divination - part 3, The Whirlpool Realm

The Tangler

Following creation and incubation in the Stone Realm, and pre-manifest revelation in the Pearl Realm, we now come to the threshold of manifestation in the Whirlpool Realm. It is here in the Whirlpool where chaos creates manifest reality.

In a state of unity, quantum mechanics tells us that energy (from which everything is made) can be in many places simultaneously. It is through chaos that potentialities decohere into being one thing over fuzzily existing as everything - in other words, all possibilities collapse into a single definite something.

In our reading, the Tangler sits in the Whirlpool.

The Tangler is a male figure, wrapped in many strands of white, red and black. 

The energy coming through is active (male) and it is embraced by the protective threads of wyrd weaving into manifest reality.

His hair is a glossy olive green and massive, in snaky locks

like the bed of moss in my offering to the Ancestors.

The strands of red, white and black are tangled then braided into his locks, set with many tiny pearls.

The strands of wyrd are weaving into the realities of all in the group (a single something consisting of) pearls of deep ancestral healing wisdom and memory (as uttered by the Teller in the previous card) for each of us.

This an AWESOME Samhain configuration and divination. We have indeed been blessed!

Hail the Might Ancestors, hail the land wights, hail Frigga, hail Freyja and hail Hela!

Samhain Dreampower Divination - Part 2, The Pearl Realm

The Teller

In my first experience with Dreampower Divination, the first card from the previous post pertaining to the Stone Realm can be likened to the darkness and lunar shadows, hiddeness, and to the womb where enlightened communication is sourced.

In the solar Pearl Realm, what was incubated in the Stone Realm, is brought forth and revealed. In our Samhain reading, the card for this realm came out as The Teller. The Teller embodies the Voice of One (as discussed in the previous post). Importantly, the Teller

communicates ancestral memories to you; these may include recovery of part lives, your own or those of others. 

How very encouraging and affirming to me that my offering to my Ancestors has been, not only accepted, but that the Ancestors will grant my request - a gift in acknowledgment of the gift of the Soul Retrieval oil, specifically. My Ancestors will aid me (and all involved in the group reading) in my (our) work to recover and heal the deep wounds of my (our) soul (folksoul). Not only has the Teller told me so, but the Teller has uttered it with the Voice of One into my (our) reality.

Hail the Mighty Ancestors, the land spirits, Frigga, Freyja and Hela!

Samhain Dreampower Divination - Part 1, The Stone Realm

The Choir

I attended my first pagan group ritual with the ADF (Druid) in a nearby town. The Samhain ritual we did to honor and give offerings to our ancestors was led by a woman who is also involved with Northern Tradition practices (and Seidr), as our ritual very closely resembled a blot to the ancestors (which I really loved).

My offering to my Ancestors, land spirits, Frigga, Freyja and Hela included:

a whole bottle of honey wine
a length of handspun wool yarn
amber gemstone
black jet gemstone
crystal quartz
9 sacred herbs of Northern Tradition shamanism (with a small pentacle in it)
high john root
3 British sixpence coins
Soul Retrieval ritual oil
9 rosebuds
a bed of moss

Following the giving each of our offerings, the leader of the ritual did a tarot reading using the Dreampower deck by R. J. Stewart (which I liked so much, I just purchased one myself). Here are cards and positions in the reading (my own interpretations follow):

The Stone Realm - The Choir
The Pearl Realm - The Teller
The Whirlpool Realm - The Tangler

The Stone Realm

In my mind, the Stone Realm pertains to the deep place of prophetic utterance, of the Ancestral Voices, and to a state of consciousness where the Voices of the Ancestors can be perceived as the Voices of the Many, the Voices of the Few, or the Voice of One which R. J. Stewart distinguishes as conditions of being. The card drawn for this realm therefore, speaks to which state of consciousness is operational to each "hearer" in the reading.

First Card Drawn - The Choir / The Cacophony

The Choir is a group of assorted animals singing loudly. We see a donkey, cow, sheep, pig, goose, cockerel and duck. There is a cat playing the bagpipe. Within this cluster of animals, all leaning onto one another, extending their necks and singing loudly in harmony, we also see some small creatures: a mouse listening raptly, a spider within her web spun between the horns of the cow and in one corner a small baby sleeping peacefully in a wooden cradle. This Trump works on several levels and we may use our overall idea of the Three Realms resonating through each card (with each Trump at home in one particular Realm) to examine the levels. 

On the surface, this card brings up the Voices of the Many. However, in the description of this card, I was caught by the phrase "a mouse listening raptly." To me personally, this is the Voice of One "when the Ancestors speak within the first condition, the Voice of One, they are the land."  This card to me, seemingly uttering a cacophony of Voices, is asking the question, "hey you, what do you hear?" and "hey you, what do you see?" The challenge of this card is hear the Voice of One, to hear the Ancestral stream as it is uttered from within "the first condition of Being" amidst the cacophony of Voices. Despite the cacophony, I hear, I see the mouse, my fylgja, listening raptly. Here is my poem, written decades ago which pertains very exactly to this card in this realm:

SUDDENLY

hey you, what are you looking at
the mouse seemed to say silently, to me one day
hidden in the closet, coming close to see
where land meets sea, isolating some field of awareness
distracting the mind toward some special duty
hey you, what did you say
you talkin' to me?

hey you, what do you hear
the mouse seemed to say silently, to me one day
hidden in the closet, coming close to hear
wandering around this anomaly of conversation, suddenly plucked up
toward the task at hand, wiping off all others
hey you, do you hear what I hear
who goes there, talkin' to me

Paternal Ancestral Ethnicities & Folk Soul Impulses

As some who read my Facebook may recall, I recently learned from my father that my paternal line hails from the Cumberland Gap in Appalachia, making it very likely that some of my paternal grandmothers were Appalachian root workers known as granny witches, and practitioners of ethnic Appalachian folk magic.

(In honor of my Appalachian roots, over time, I will be adding a focused line Appalachian folkish conjure formulas to my Etsy shoppe!)

The oral tradition of my paternal family - that as being primarily of English, Irish (Scots-Irish as well, given my confirmed autosomal genetic link to Scotland) and German descent, as well as having American roots in the Cumberland Gap deep in Appalachia, and into Appalachian Kentucky, as well as having some Native American American (Cherokee and Potowatomi) family members - fits exactly with the historical ethnic makeup reported by Kentucky Emigration and Immigration Department -
 

Pre-statehood settlers of Kentucky were mostly of English, German and Ulster Scots descent who migrated from the Atlantic seaboard states. Immigrants from North Carolina and southwestern Virginia came by way of the Cumberland Gap and over the Wilderness Road. Immigrants from Maryland and Pennsylvania came on flatboats and rafts down the Ohio River from Pittsburgh. Other early immigrants included small groups of French, Swiss, and Welsh. During the mid-19th century the Ohio River brought many German immigrants and settlers from New England and the Middle Atlantic states. Many Irish settled in Louisville during this time.

In 1790, historians estimate Kentucky's population was English (52%), Scots-Irish or Scots (25%), Irish (9%), Welsh, (7%), German (5%), French (2%), Dutch (1%), and Swedish (0.2%) in ethnicity.

1820 statistics vary slightly: English (57%), Scots-Irish or Scots (18%), Welsh (9%), Irish (8%), German (6%), French (2%), Dutch (1%), and Swedish (0.2%).

Native Americans were the indigenous population also living in the area with the immigrants, giving support to the oral family tradition of having some Native American family members. As a small child, I grew up around one aunt known to be a full blooded Cherokee. She was known by the name Palace. The clannish rural area I grew up in (often humorously called Taylorville - my birth surname is Taylor) was one in which many families in my father's extended family lived in homes and properties clustered together in proximal concentration. Even today, several families of the Taylor Clan still live here in proximally clustered homes. This clannish way of living, also fits well with ethnic Appalachian ways of living.

No one in my family has, in oral family tradition, ever been Catholic Christian - I was raised as a Protestant Christian (where Protestantism in my mind is the first major successful impulse of the Teutonic folksoul to return to its native Pagan roots, and to throw off the yoke of the non-native religiosity imposed on the people via the Romanization of Pagan Europe). The religious affiliation of Appalachia with folkish Protestantism also fits with the ethnic and religious history of Appalachia and the oral traditions coming from my paternal family.

German Appalachian Folklore

Signs, Cures, and Witchery: German Appalachian Folklore

New addition to my library - Signs, Cures, and Witchery: German Appalachian Folklore by Gerald C. Milnes.

The persecution of Old World German Protestants and Anabaptists in the seventeenth century-following debilitating wars, the Reformation, and the Inquisition-brought about significant immigration to America. Many of the immigrants, and their progeny, settled in the Appalachian frontier. Here they established a particularly old set of religious beliefs and traditions based on a strong sense of folk spirituality. They practiced astrology, numerology, and other aspects of esoteric thinking and left a legacy that may still be found in Appalachian folklore today.

Based in part on the author's extensive collection of oral histories from the remote highlands of West Virginia, Signs, Cures, and Witchery: German Appalachian Folklore describes these various occult practices, symbols, and beliefs; how they evolved within New World religious contexts; how they arrived on the Appalachian frontier; and the prospects of those beliefs continuing in the contemporary world.

By concentrating on these inheritances, Gerald C. Milnes draws a larger picture of the German influence on Appalachia. Much has been written about the Anglo-Celtic, Scots-Irish, and English folkways of the Appalachian people, but few studies have addressed their German cultural attributes and sensibilities. Signs, Cures, and Witchery sheds startling light on folk influences from Germany, making it a volume of tremendous value to Appalachian scholars, folklorists, and readers with an interest in Appalachian folklife and German American studies.

Avalon - Sully Erna

Lyrics to "Avalon"

A veil of sparkling white soothes and bathes me in the light
It feels me with the suns and visions of the ancient ones

Descend to me, and sooth my disarray
And so it's done-Hear my words Avalon

Fields are swaying like dancers in the moonlight
Rivers field with dreams-Unbroken and still promising

Descend to me, and sooth my disarray
And so it's done-Hear my words Avalon

Warm inside-open the way in
Float into the night-Embrace what's to be

Avalon 

From Age to Age, Consciousness of the Ages

Excerpt from my poem, Chamber of the Nest, describing one of my pre-incarnate memories:

and reflecting then
on the thought, shaking my tail
vowing remembrance

of my own story
through the fire river around
the world I came in

remembering back
before, how I can I tell it
my whole story, how ...

Excerpt of my poem, Dawn of the Ages, describing another one of my pre-incarnate memories:

we sang together
at the dawn of the ages
from the night I was made ...

In Tropical astrological reckoning I am a Capricorn. In Sidereal astrological reckoning I am an Aquarian. In the Hebrew calender (itself based upon the ancient Egyptian mysteries), I was born in the month of Tevet which corresponds to Capricorn/Aquarius. Interesting, is this overlap of Tevet with times part of Capricorn and part of Aquarius.

I was there, aware at the Turn and the Dawn of the Ages, as the once-new Age of Capricorn initiated, and as the once-again-new Age of Aquarius initiated. Interestingly, and related to these turns of the Ages, is the fact that in Northern Tradition mythology, my fylgja is a mouse-like creature associated with the beginning and rise of the New Age of Mammals following the end of the Age of the Dinosaurs.

On the turn of the ages and prehistory:

The Platonic (Mayan) Age of Capricorn so began, when historical man Homo Sapiens differentiated from his environment and first became 'different' from its homo relatives, like Homo Neanderthalensis.

The Platonic Age of Capricorn ended so 130,000 years ago and began the Platonic Age of Aquarius, the latter establishing Homo Sapiens in coexistence with the now different other species of homo and other genuses. Up to this point in time, the Homo Sapiens and the Neanderthals used similar tools, but in the Platonic Aquarian Age, Homo Sapiens improved its technology and sophisticated its awareness of applicable tools.

Remembering back before, how can I tell it ...  I was there, aware before "historical man Homo Sapiens differentiated from his environment and first became 'different' from its homo relatives."

My patroness Hela is Giantess-Goddess.

Twelve Platonic Cycles are 311,040 years and 311,040 years ago the DNA-architecture of what was to evolve into Modern Man became inducted by what is mythologically called 'Lemurian Root-Soul-Energy' and also as the 'giants' and the 'Sons of God' impregnating the 'Daughters of Man', say as in your Genesis encodings Genesis.6.2-4.

Indeed, even before this, I was there, aware ... my fylgja (a personal aspect of the folksoul) is the mouse-like first mammal to arise following extinction of the dinosaurs. This mouse-like creature is the Ancestor to all mammals living today, including humans.

You might now understand that this encoding describes something before the Noahic 'Great Flood' and something after the 'perfect ten Noahic generations' redefined the 'Age of Man' as 120 years from a previous 'longer lived' generation and bounded by Methuselah's 969 years as the 'oldest man' who ever lived. So now some of you may understand the archetype of the 'Great Flood' as the nexus point in the human history, when a previous hominoid evolution became terminated and replaced with a new one. The previous hominoid generation was Homo Erectus culminating in the Lemurian archetype and then continuing in a multifaceted fashion with concurrent homninoids like Homo Neanderthalensis and 'great apes' like Gigantopithecus and after having itself evolved from Homo Habilis and Australopithecine ancestors dating back so 12 Grand Cycles earlier to 12x311,040=3,732,480 years.

The mysteries of time, the evolution of consciousness, and the mysteries of the soul are all interwoven.

we sang together
at the dawn of the ages
from the night I was made ...

From before the previous Ragnarok (reformation of the entire Cosmos), into the world I came in ...

remembering back, before, how I can I tell it ...

U5b and V Migrated with Viking I1a

In follow-up to an earlier post where I reported that Saami major mtDNA motherline 2 haplogroup V is also found in my family, and given that both my own U5b haplogroup and haplogroup V are linked together in the Saami, it is interesting to note that both U5b and V are again linked together in a second group - this time in migration with male Y-chromosome haplogroup I1a, which has "been described as the Viking haplogroup."

It is believed on the basis of correlation analysis that (mtDNA) haplogroup V and U5b migrated together with male haplogroup I1a ...

and

(Y-chromosome) haplogroup, "I1a", which has been described as the "Viking" haplogroup because of its prevalence among men of Nordic extraction.

Swedish Saami Haplogroup V Also Among My Family

In earlier posts (for example, Saami Major Lineage One Mitochondrial Cluster) I've discussed that my mtDNA ancestral genetic motherline haplogroup U5b1b1 is the foundational lineage (within U5/U5b) of Scandinavian Saami (alternatively, Sami) major motherline 1.

U5b is the dominant mtDNA haplogroup among the Saami, while mtDNA haplgroup V (another rare European haplogroup) comprises Saami major motherline 2. On the population genetics of the Saami, it is known:

Classification of the Sami mtDNA lineages revealed that the majority are clustered in a subset of the European mtDNA pool. The two haplogroups V and U5b dominate, between them accounting for about 89% of the total. This gives the Sami regions the highest level of Haplogroups V and U5b thus far found. Haplogroups H, D5 and Z represent most of the remaining averaged total. Overall 98% of the Sami mtDNA pool is encompassed within haplogroups V, U5b, H, Z, and D5.

Although a small proportion of the Haplogroup U (mtDNA) among the Sami falls into U4, the great majority is U5b. The percentage of total Sami mtDNA samples tested by Tambets and her colleagues which were U5b ranged from 56.8% in Norwegian Sami to 26.5% in Swedish Sami. Sami U5b falls into subclade U5b1b1. Haplogroup V is by far the most frequent haplogroup in the Swedish Sami and is present at significantly lower frequencies in Norwegian and Finnish subpopulations.

While my own ancestral genetic motherline is U5b1b1 (placing the origins of my ancestral maternal lineage among the Saami), mtDNA haplogroup V (another Saami maternal lineage) is also found among my family members on my maternal side - through my relative Benjamin Franklin who belongs to mtDNA haplogroup V.

I am the 6th great grandniece of American founding father and statesman Benjamin Franklin through my mother's father's mother's line. This is the line of my relationship to Benjamin Franklin:

Cheryl Collins (my mother)
Sydney Oscar Collins (my mother's father, my grandfather)
Agnes Yoda Franklin (Sydney's mother, my great grandmother through Sydney)
Johnathan Freeland Franklin (Agnes' father, my great great grandfather)
Charles D. Franklin (Johnathan's father, my gggreat grandfr)
David Franklin (Charles' father, my ggggreat grandfather)
Jonathan Franklin (David's father, my gggggreat grandfr)
John Franklin (Jonathan's father, my ggggggreat grandfr)
Josiah Franklin¹ (John's father [Benjamin Franklin's brother], my gggggggreat grandfr)
Thomas Franklin (Josiah's father, my ggggggggreat grandfr)²
Henry Franklin (Thomas' father, my gggggggggreat grandfr)³

Benjamin and John Franklin were brothers, both sons of Josiah. My maternal line relationship to Benjamin Franklin comes down through Benjamin's brother John. My sixth greatfather was the brother of Benjamin Franklin.

Now, even though males do not pass on their mtDNA to their children, I think it's interesting that the maternal lineages in my maternal family line that I've discovered so far all carry Saami-linked mtDNA. Moreover, my own autosomal deep ancestral root has been localized to Sweden where

haplogroup V is by far the most frequent haplogroup in the Swedish Sami.

Taken together, the presence of both U5b1b1 and V in members of my family from my mother's side, coupled with the fact that my deep autosomal ancestry (from both parents) localizes to Sweden, makes it even clearer that my "clan" comes from Scandinavia generally, and Sweden more specifically.

Footnotes:

¹ B 23 Dec 1657, M 25 Nov 1689, D 16 Jan 1744/1745
Born: in Ecton, Hamps, England
Spouse: Abiah Foulger in Boston, Suffolk, Mass.
Children (2):
John Franklin, B 7 Dec 1690, Boston, Mass; D 30 Jan 1756, Boston, Mass
Benjamin Franklin, B 6 Jan 1706/1706, Boston, Mass

² B 8 Oct 1598 D 24 Mar 1681/1682; Ecton, Northhamptonshire, England (B); Banbury, Oxford, England (D)

³ B 23 May 1573 D 23 Oct 1631; Ecton, Northhamptonshire, England (B & D)

Strengthening Magical Will

Power Casting

 
My friend OneEye wrote to me:

Ever have someone tell you that when casting a spell to keep silent about it? Wonder why? Well, what if you are using your will to change some facet of reality (what spellcasting really is), and someone or some ones find out who do not wish that to happen, their will can override yours. Likewise, I'm sure we all know or know about people with exceptionally strong wills who have accomplished their designs despite great forces set against them. Why? Because their will was stronger than the will of those set against them.

This is true. To be honest, sometimes I "tell my spells" precisely so that adversaries with strong wills will attempt to thwart my will from manifesting as an exercise to strengthen my magical will. I believe that consciousness and will remain connected to the spells we work (generally, unless "cut off"), so an adversary working against my will gives my will a strengthening workout (by pushing and railing against it), so to speak. I've built up the strength and power of my will in this manner over the years.

One easy example of the power of this approach can be seen in the very existence and success of Witchcrafts Artisan Alchemy. Despite that I live in the conservative Midwest bible belt (as opposed to a liberal environment like California) and despite the adversarial opposition my shoppe has encountered from publicly slanderous competitors, Witchcrafts Artisan Alchemy continues to succeed and has grown to become a premier artisan occult shoppe on Etsy.

Dipping into the Sea of Ancestral Essence

Background - Yesterday I listed for sale at my Etsy shoppe shark teeth and Sahara Sea creature remains from the Eocene Epoch. The start of the Eocene is marked by the emergence of the first modern mammals and lasted from about 56 to 34 million years ago . The dinosaurs were already extinct during the Eocene Epoch, but huge predators still ruled the sea. I also posted on my shoppe Facebook page a video discussing the source of consciousness as hidden and taught in Old Norse myths. In the video, the Nine Daughters of Ægir are also discussed as they pertain to this source of conscious awareness. The emergence of the first primitive mammals (mouse-like creatures) following the extinction of the dinosaurs (during an epoch earlier than the Eocene, namely in the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event, often referred to as the Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction event, which occurred approximately 65.5 million years ago) links to my mouse fylgja. Extinction of the dinosaurs is linked by science to extinctions of ocean floor species following asteroid impact.

Early this morning, I dreamt a dream of bringing up a giant (jotun) creature from the Ancient Sea. The creature was at once also me.

I was on a exploring research ship sailing upon the Dark Sea in a liminal time containing both all time and timelessness. We lowered down a large net into the depths of Dark Sea, seeking to bring up something very important, very ancient, very mysterious.

We brought up an ancient cocoon-like liminal-like bubble shell-craft in which an Ancient Creature had been preserved. The Ancient Creature was both a sea creature and me at the same time. As a sea creature, the bubble ship and its content reminded me of a giant clam-like creature. As me, it reminded me of a hibernating human form with all its books and computer gadgets resting in a time capsule cocoon of some sort. It had been brought up to the surface - I felt the creature's "studies" would now reawaken.

The dream changed.

As one among three couples, we had moved into a long-shaped apartment (brings to mind now a Viking longship), though we all had private living spaces. One of the males of the couples, named Jeff (derived from German Gottfried, meaning "Divine peace"), the companion of one of my "sisters", had been charged to find us our apartment. He had done well. We were all pleased. We were moving into this apartment because of a new research job-study we were all participating in.

One of my sisters had the job of being the homemaker. The rest of us had jobs outside of the home. I recall the floors being vacuumed in preparation for our move into the new apartment.

My new state of the art high tech computer software was being set up and configured for the research project. During the set-up, I had a bit of difficulty with the number 2 on the touch screen. I had to try several times before touching the number 2 right, getting my touch to strike the screen right to get my entry to take. It "took" on the third try.

After setup, I saw and also wanted a cool sleek black backpack like the one being carried by one of my sisters, so I could carry my computer stuff around with me too. I put in my order for one. Fossilized amber was associated with unlocking and accessing our computers. (Amber is associated with Freyja and ancient witchcraft.)

I woke up. I also listed a few specimens (here and here) of copal amber from Madagascar yesterday on my Etsy shoppe. During my last ritual blot (Haustblot), I had placed my own more ancient fossilized amber with fossil inclusions on my harrow in honor of Freyja.

The Source of Awareness- Knowledge Hidden in Old Norse Myths

The Source of Awareness and the Fire from Within - Hidden Knowledge in Old Norse myths. Compares hidden realities revealed in Old Norse Myths with mysteries as discussed in the works of Carlos Castaneda.

Mysteries, Heimdallr and the World Tree

A little over half way through the video linked below (embedding disabled), it discusses Heimdallr as the "Living Universe", which is very relevant to my own experience of the mysteries when I was 5 or 6.

Mysteries, Heimdallr and the World Tree

Considering Heimdallr As My Patron

Given my own ancestral genetic U5 motherline is connected to the indigenous hunter-gatherers of Scandinavia (as discussed in earlier posts here and here) who have been in Europe for nearly 50,000 years, and that this population seems to be associated with the Vanir, while Odin is connected to Aesir (and possibly to the population who came into Europe about 25,000 years ago bringing ancestral genetic motherline haplogroup H with them), it seems even more likely that I took my mystical space-worlds-journey when I was a child with Heimdallr, a deity with origins in the Vanir by many, and the one who "guards" the Bifrost Bridge.

I am seriously considering that Heimdallr is a patron deity to me.

Examining the Growth & Expansion of mtDNA Haplogroup H

In follow-up to my earlier post which compares my general mtDNA haplogroup (namely, U5, the oldest and indigenous haplogoup in Europe) with the predominant mtDNA haplogroup in Europe today, namely H, this post will examine possible factors which influenced the growth and expansion of haplogroup H.

The Neolithic agricultural (farming) revolution began about 12,000 years ago, so the H-haplogroup migration wave which came into Europe 20-25,000 years ago would not have been of a farmer culture. The H-wave migration consisted also of hunter-gatherers coming from West Asia (in the literature) into the areas populated by the indigenous U5 tribes.

In the article Occupy the Neolithic at ScienceNOW, we are informed:

Most researchers agree that social hierarchies began with the advent of farming. The earliest known farming communities are found in the Near East, dating back almost 11,000 years. Archaeologists have looked for evidence of social stratification in these societies with mixed results. Some early farming societies show signs that people played different roles and that some were buried with greater ritual—shuffling off this mortal coil with a number of elaborate "grave goods," including pottery and stone tools. However, there is little evidence that social inequality was hereditary or rigidly defined.

That seems to have changed sometime after farmers moved into Europe from the Near East, beginning about 8500 years ago during a period known as the European Neolithic.

One of the best studied farming cultures is the Linearbandkeramik (LBK), which arose in what is today Hungary about 7500 years ago ... LBK societies were "patrilocal," meaning that males tended to stay put in one place while females moved in from other areas to mate with them (which may explain why mtDNA haplogroup H is the predominant ancestral motherline in Europe). A number of recent genetic studies have shown similar patterns among early European farmers. "The signatures from these skeletons reinforce other indications of male-dominated descent and even land inheritance," Bentley says, adding that such social inequalities "only grew in extent and scale" over the course of history." To read more, click link.

So, the growth and extent of haplogroup H in Europe may be closely correlated with the dynamics and spread of farming communities throughout Europe.

In Northern Tradition folklore, Heimdallr (also known as Rig) is the deity associated with "assigning" by birth the societal group into which one is born. It makes sense that the largest group would consist of the farmer group known as karls or bondi (which also included craftsmen, landowners, and other freeborn people). The other two major societal groups in ancient times were known as thralls (serfs and slaves) and jarls (priests, nobles and kings). - 

European mtDNA Haplogroups U and H

Though my very specific U5b1b1* subclade markers localized my own deep genetic ancestral motherline root to Sweden, the chart in this link at Eupedia (Distribution of European mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA) haplogroups by region in percentage) shows that, generally, the broader U and U5 mtDNA haplogroups (both to which my own subclade belongs) both have their highest distribution frequency in Finland.

While the highest distribution frequency for U5 is in Finland, the predominant mtDNA haplogroup overall in Finland is haplogroup H, just like in other European countries. In an earlier post I reported that my relatively rare ancestral motherline mtDNA haplogroup U5 (11% of modern Europeans) has its origins in the indigenous hunter-gatherer population of Scandinavia. Following later migrations across Europe of cultures originating in Western Asia, the predominant mtDNA haplogroup in Scandinavia and in other European countries became as they are in modern historical times:

Albania - H
Austria - H
Basques - H
Belgium - H
Bosnia-Herzegovina - H
Bulgaria - H
Croatia - H
Czech Republic - H
Denmark - H
England - H
Estonia - H
Finland - H
France - H
Germany - H
Greece - H
Hungary - H
Iceland - H
Ireland - H
Italy - H
Latvia - H
Lithuania - H
Macedonia - H
Netherlands - H
Norway - H
Poland - H
Portugal - H
Romania - H
Russia - H
Scotland - H
Serbia - H
Slovenia - H
Spain - H
Sweden - H
Switzerland - H
Ukraine - H
Wales - H 

So, we can see that in modern times, mtDNA haplogroup H is the predominant ancestral genetic motherline to many Europeans and to those of European ancestry. Haplogroup H is known in Brian Sykes' book, The Seven Daughters of Eve, as Clan Helena. Since about one half of all Europeans (and those of European descent) are of mtDNA haplogroup H, here is a link to read more about Clan Helena - Haplogroup H

Haplogroup H was carried to Europe by migrations c. 20-25,000 years ago, with several independent studies concluding that haplogroup H probably evolved in West Asia c. 30,000 years ago.

The only geographical regions where haplogroup U (Clan Ursula) predominates in frequency over haplogroup H (Clan Helena) are:

Adygey - in the northern foothills of the North Caucasus Mountains
Bashkirs- Volga-Ural, a region located around the Ural Mountains
Volga-Finnic - eastern Finns

These 3 predominantly haplogroup U regions represent the extant indigenous peoples of Russia (of the Caucasus and Volga-Ural regions) as well.

Gail Tonnesen/FTDNA U5 Project scientist writes:

Haplogroup U is estimated to have lived in the Near East or Southwest Asia some 55,000 years ago, about 15,000 years after modern humans expanded out of Africa. U5 probably expanded into Europe with the first modern humans some 47,000 years ago.

So, the working timeline among scientists is that U5 was present in Europe by around 47,000 years ago (coming from the Near East/Middle East/Anatolia through Russia), while haplogroup H came into Europe about 20-25,000 years ago (from West Asia which includes the Near/Middle East).

My Ancestral Genetic Motherline Indigenous to Scandinavia

For those of you following my ancestor work ~ Through my ancestral genetic motherline (U5b1b1*), I can trace my maternal ancestors clear back to the earliest hunter-gatherers in Northern Europe. A rare haplogroup in Europe generally, haplogroup U5 has roots in earliest prehistoric Palaeololithic Europe. Clan Ursula (general haplogroup U5) - the ancestral motherline Clan to which I belong - is the oldest surviving genetic motherline haplogroup in Europe.

From Family Tree DNA [Gail Tonnesen/FTDNA U5 Project]:

As the ice began to retreat about 15,000 years ago, haplogroup U5 was among the first people to repopulate central and northern Europe. We know this because U5 is the dominant haplogroup in ancient remains of early hunter-gatherer populations in Europe, with U5 and its sister group U4 representing about 90% of the earliest hunter-gatherers. U5 was largely replaced by early farmers and other Neolithic immigrants to Europe and currently U5 represents only about 11% of European mtDNA. Some very old subclades of U5 are extremely rare, perhaps because they represent the remnants of hunter-gatherers that were largely replaced.

Read more at link above.

What this means is that my ancestral motherline hails from the indigenous native population of Scandinavia.

The Genetic Memories of Gollveig-Heid

In follow-up to my previous two posts (here and here), Gollveig is an earlier name for Heid (also written Heith). Heid is my Teutonic sacred name.

Many thanks and much appreciation to my friend OneEye who provided this information from the lore of Northern Tradition:

From Voluspa in the Poetic Edda:

21. The war I remember, | the first in the world,
When the gods with spears | had smitten Gullveig,
And in the hall | of Hor had burned her,
Three times burned, | and three times born,
Oft and again, | yet ever she lives.

22. Heith they named her | who sought their home,
The wide-seeing witch, | in magic wise;
Minds she bewitched | that were moved by her magic,
To evil women | a joy she was.

23. On the host his spear | did Othin hurl,
Then in the world | did war first come;
The wall that girdled | the gods was broken,
And the field by the warlike | Wanes was trodden.

Traditional commentary on these stanzas:

[21. This follows stanza 20 in Regius; in the Hauksbok version stanzas 25, 26, 27, 40, and 41 come between stanzas 20 and 21. Editors have attempted all sorts of rearrangements. The war: the first war was that between the gods and the Wanes. The cult of the Wanes (Vanir) seems to have originated among the seafaring folk of the Baltic and the southern shores of the North Sea, and to have spread thence into Norway in opposition to the worship of the older gods; hence the "war." Finally the two types of divinities were worshipped in common; hence the treaty which ended the war with the exchange of hostages. Chief among the Wanes were Njorth and his children, Freyr and Freyja, all of whom became conspicuous among the gods. Beyond this we know little of the Wanes, who seem originally to have been water-deities. I remember: the manuscripts have "she remembers," but the Volva is apparently still speaking of her own memories, as in stanza 2. Gollveig ("Gold-Might"): apparently the first of the Wanes to come among the gods, her ill treatment being the immediate cause of the war. Müllenhoff maintains that Gollveig is another name for Freyja. Lines 5-6, one or both of them probably interpolated, seem to symbolize the refining of gold by fire. Hor ("The High One"): Othin.

22. Heith ("Shining One"?): a name often applied to wise women and prophetesses. The application of this stanza to Gollveig is far from clear, though the reference may be to the [fp. 11] magic and destructive power of gold. It is also possible that the stanza is an interpolation. Bugge maintains that it applies to the Volva who is reciting the poem, and makes it the opening stanza, following it with stanzas 28 and 30, and then going on with stanzas I ff. The text of line 2 is obscure, and has been variously emended.]

[23. This stanza describes the battle and the victory of the Wanes, after which the gods took council, debating whether to pay tribute to the victors, or to admit them, as was finally done, to equal rights of worship.

This is simply stunning. I'm in that moment when you know you are where you are supposed to be. This is my story! All of these years and decades I've searched for it, and here it is!

Gollveig means Gold-might. In some traditions, gold symbolizes harsh judgment. So, the bifurcation discussed in my previous post here could be a separation of ancestral might from the force-quality of harsh judgment. This actually fits very well with my memory as described in the "bloody" poem.

I'll have to look at what the runes have to say about these particular arrangement of letters in the name Gollveig.

In the commentary to the lore

the Volva who is reciting (communicating) the poem ... (is) the Volva (who) is apparently still speaking of her own memories

I'm trembling.

In the commentary to the lore

The cult of the Wanes (Vanir) seems to have originated among the seafaring folk of the Baltic and the southern shores of the North Sea, and to have spread thence into Norway in opposition to the worship of the older god

My genetic motherline is U5b1b1 (actually U5b1b1* which has extra nucleotide transitions than the plain U5b1b1, and also has the same backmutation as Saami-specific motif U5b1b1a) with my deep autosomal ancestral genetic root in Sweden. I also have genetic match-connections to Baltic Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania and Finland (as well as North Sea Norway, England, Ireland, Scotland etc), so this fits too.

Ancestral Hominid Line - Bifurcation Event(s)

In follow-up to my previous post, the poem below is a pre-incarnate memory that I've posted before. The commentary which follows this poem is new and discusses this poem in contrast to the experiences discussed in my previous post.

THE BLOODING

from the mind inscribed before time in a dreamlike primeval existence
before my life began, at your side, I loved you
set before seeing, witnessing the violent play of creation
rising jagged with twisting thorns ascending toward there
wild and fierce the bloody storm from below, a churning pit of cold fire and coal
dripping with pain torn from earth, cutting edges
raging from a lawless horror, a terror untamed upon the earth
spreading as a plague coming near with powerful fury, iterating screams
reverberating with dysrhythm, the battering melody shattering the noise of silence
in agony melding together, into a cyclone of spiraling shrill despair
hopeless, the sound of an inky blackness, line upon line writing
a writhing scroll, twisted with affliction, death and blood everywhere
below the colorlessness of the sanctuary where I stood, immobile in the sight
testifying, not forgotten, revealing some wordless cry of terror
embedding beyond the throat, becoming chained in the belly
burning my world, descending into the hallowed depths of my heart
with no way to restrain it, its direction of attraction
toward me the knife came to cut
please see me! I am here! I cried without sound - to you as you watched it climb up
as you watched it climb up with some curious, strange fascination
not seeing me, or disregarded, either way, outside your direction of attention
as the rabid destruction erupted up the wall, and all I could do to escape the blade
becoming broken, I turned away, pulling myself in ... only to be thown away
thrown down, as a coarse grain into the only history I ever knew, and I know
what you did, throwing me down to be ripped apart, for those who would destroy me
why do you hate me - still you don't see me, you don't hear me, and you don't care
try as I might to rewrite the story, I cannot forget the truth
and some things can never be fixed

Divergence of My Ancestral Hominid Line

The memories I am referring to in the previous post (PP) are distinct from the one in this poem. The memories I am discussing in the PP do not include this particular memory. I have so many memories. The "person" in this memory as described above is not the same as the "person" in the PP set of memories. In this memory, I was not seeing the outline of my future life (as I was in the PP). In this memory, I was seeing the prehistory of life on earth and the violent conditions which existed on earth.

I think the memory in this poem is related to a divergent bifurcation in the hominid ancestral line from which I am descended:

In this poem, the "other person" and I were "part of the same body" sort of, but we were "cut apart" and separated. There was no communication between us (though I tried to communicate) and neither one of us could face the other - we were like standing stone and unable to move (the symbolism of this kind of memory should not be taken literally, as these memories pertain to premanifest forms). This "person" was removed from me forever, so I am thinking that this particular memory may represent a divergent bifurcation in my ancestral line. This memory preceded the ones I wrote of in the PP. This may also be why I felt that "some things can never be fixed," because the ancestral line (to which we both belonged at this point) bifurcated, and I went one way, and the other "person" went a separate way. Especially since in this memory I was seeing violent prehistoric events upon the earth (and since my fylgja is a mouse-like creature ancestral to all mammals), it may even be that this represents the ancestral "line divergence" between homo sapiens and another archaic human species from our common ancestor. Interestingly, this divergence which "can never be fixed" is supported by my own ancestral genetic testing results - genetic scientists claim that all non-African modern humans carry between 1-4% Neanderthal DNA in our genome. However, when I uploaded my autosomal DNA data to an analytic tool which analyzes one's Neanderthal genomic percentage, my genomic results came back with 0% Neanderthal admixture.

In the PP, the person and I were not part of the "same body" though we shared the same bubble of being. In the bubble of being, we could move and communicate. The "person" in PP is not the same as the "person" in the poem above.

Not a Modern Human - Neanderthal Bifurcation

Even though some genetic scientists have hypothesized interbreeding between Modern Humans and Neanderthals, in my mind it seems scientifically unlikely that it actually did - unless it occurred before our modern human chromosome 2 fused. Neanderthals had 24 pairs of chromosomes, while modern humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes - this fact makes it impossible for viable interbreeding to have occurred in relatively "later" prehistory. Interestingly, a fused chromosome 2 has been found in at least one of the archaic Denisova hominids - http://johnhawks.net/weblog/reviews/neandertal_dna

Modern Humans & Denisovans Share a Fused Chromosome 2

According to one paper:

this (chromosome 2) fusion event took place long before modern humans arose at around 200,000 years ago. Indeed, the 800,000 years ago date for the last human - Denisovan common ancestor means that this is the most recent date possible for the fusion.

so, it may be that the archaic human species in my memory is not Neanderthal, but some other archaic species - the Denisovans perhaps, and the bifurcation marks the split from the common ancestor Modern Humans shared with the Denisovans (or even marks the fusion event split from an earlier hominid species, or even a series of splits (as the violent blooding "was climbing up (the tree of knowledge-Yggdrasil) to where I was watching) - there are many possibilities.

It is conceivable then, given that both Modern Humans and (at least some of) the Denisovans share a fused chromosome 2 that interbreeding could have occurred between Modern Humans and this particular archaic human species. There is a genetic test which checks for Denisovan genes, but I haven't been able to find an online analysis tool (which allows uploading of raw genetic data) to check that hypothesis out on myself and I haven't had the upgraded Geno 2.0 tests which checks for it either.

I am inclined to believe that the memory in the poem above is the memory of a series of splits that have occurred since the very origins of my biologic ancestral line.

But, there is even more to this story ... next post.

Northern Tradition Experiential Soul Connections

I've written of this particular experience many times before, but in this post I will add some new descriptive and analytic commentary into the mix.

The experience (described poetically below) had nothing immediately proximal to it to do with ancestral memories or past lives. It may describe contact with my fylgja, a masculine divine psychopomp, my masculine "soul mate" (Lífþrasir) and/or a masculine kinfylgja.

Basic Description of the Experience.

A bit preceding and for time a bit after my birth, I was "accompanied by a kin-being with consciousness that can be described as a force without form. In earlier parts of my journey, he was just a voice calling me - a voice that in trying to locate it's source, and in following the sound of his voice, led me toward physical incarnation. It was a masculine voice, but I don't feel that he was my fetch. This kin-being was the force who "formed my physical form" for me to incarnate into, however (which seems somewhat fetch-like, yet ...that word just doesn't capture the fullness of his relationship to me). I'm not satisfied that this being was my fetch (fylgja). It was not "self" in the sense that I would expect the fetch to feel like. It felt more "kin-self", like a distinct part of me (as a fetch might be), yet very distinct from me - we were each unique beings of consciousness, yet at this point in my journey, we were still joined like two bubbles within one bubble of being (not literally a bubble, but this is the closest word I can think of to describe the relationship of consciousness).When I became born, my bubble was more distinctly me, while his bubble became more distinctly him apart from me - his bubble remained in the otherworld (although our singular bubbles are still even today joined by the bubble we share), and for a time, his voice could reach into my own bubble in this world, and likewise mine could reach into the otherworld into his (and thus, we could still communicate and have conversation). Also, I should mention, that we had very involved conversations for a period of time surrounding the events leading up to my birth and during early childhood - the relevance of this is that we didn't speak together in language as I learned it as a child of this world. We spoke in a pre-verbal language of pure meaning innate to the soul-being that I am - a language I didn't need to learn, it is a language perhaps directly partaking of elements innate to the soul. It almost seems that the more I learned to "talk with my tongue" and "hear with my ears", the less able I became to talk and hear through to the otherworld. I did for a very short time, talk with my tongue and hear with my hears, in conversation with him, but I feel this was gift for me that normally wasn't given, because I was being made to remember.

My Wyrd Ancestral Hamingja - Being Prepared to Receive It.

During the pre-incarnate portion of this experience, I wasn't seeing a "past life" pass before my eyes, I was seeing the general outline of my "future incarnate life" - of what was going to come and that is why I did not want to be born, I saw that my life would be very hard. Though I was seeing the general outline of my fate, the force with me was not preparing to detach anything - on the contrary, I was being prepared to receive what was being prepared for me (there is a different focus), and this force explicitly communicated that he would always be with me and instructed me to "remember!"

The Fylgja.

According to author Eoghan Odinsson,

the Hafskjold Stav tradition considers the Fylgya to be like an animal spirit guide. 

Tradition further teaches that the fylgja may be "the conduit through which we speak to the gods" - like the point of interface which brings the person and the deity together (like - hello, this is the operator, I have a call for you, please stay on the line).

Additionally, this force stayed near to my in consciousness well into childhood - and though I could not "turn around" in incarnated consciousness and leave the sphere of this world as child like I could as a newborn baby before becoming solidified into my body to speak with the force, I could call upon and speak to the force in the sphere of this world. I could easily hear his voice even though I could not "see" him as before becoming solidly incarnated.

The Shamanic Psychopomp & the Tree of Knowledge.

Unlike a fylgja, importantly, when I was 5 or 6 years old, this force returned more directly and took me consciously in spirit (awake, not a dream!) on a journey throughout the worlds to the very edges of All that is - passing many noisy planets, cosmic systems and through vast stretches of the cosmos to its very end. During this journey I was shown everything and was able to comprehend how the deepest mysteries all fit together perfectly - all questions evaporated, complete knowledge was the very essence of my being. This experience is not the fylgja. It is Odin (or a similar divine masculine shamanic psychopomp like Heimdallr*, for example) who is with me, even now. In the poems below describing my childhood experience, I do think it may have been my fylgja who caught my attention "for Odin" through the mouse in the mousetrap (as the Fylgja is also the conduit through which we speak to the gods), but beyond that point with the mouse, it wasn't.

These are two poems (Suddenly and Epiphany) I wrote a long time ago to describe that experience:

SUDDENLY

hey you, what are you looking at
the mouse seemed to say silently, to me one day
hidden in the closet, coming close to see
where land meets sea, isolating some field of awareness
distracting the mind toward some special duty
hey you, what did you say
you talkin' to me?

hey you, what do you hear
the mouse seemed to say silently, to me one day
hidden in the closet, coming close to hear
wandering around this anomaly of conversation, suddenly plucked up
toward the task at hand, wiping off all others
hey you, do you hear what I hear
who goes there, talkin' to me

EPIPHANY

when I was six and
something happened, in my closet
finding a mouse, dead
in the closet
not afraid of mice, beginning to pick it up, stopped by
its eyes, open
I could not stop looking
I could not stop wondering
at it
it meant something more
beyond what I was
seeing
this mouse
trapped
dead

looking at me
witnessing

what what what what
listening I
could not move
I could not move
all
my
thoughtsfeelingsquestionsanswers
meanings
becoming being
mashing together, collapsing into my gut
then
a silence
cutting the bursting emptiness, when
eternity into a split mo-ment
percolating
then
a rush of
a whirlwind
bursting full
more than I could
ever understanding at once
coming out through my insides
surrounding filling
in the closet
trying
to hold this treasured possession
in my mind of edges
yet then
trusting and letting go
these going out
such a strange thing was this doing
I was doing
turning inside out
becoming being within
one
of infinite place
above without end and below without bound

Line of Attachment.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to my body when nothing much of me at all was in it during this experience, even though I did remain attached to it through some kind of very thin structure which I used to contract myself upon and slide back down into my body when returning from the journey.

The Oath.

Oddly, it took a little time to come fully down, and didn't complete until after I got up, left the closet, and was standing in my bedroom. In my bedroom, my conversation with my companion on the journey continued for awhile, but after this experience, I never heard his voice again like I had been able to all through childhood. But during this conversation, he did tell me he was holding (in safekeeping) the knowledge for me (as the knowledge would not fit into my biological mind at that point) for use at some "appointed time" in the telling of my story. I was promised it would be mine again - it belongs to me, it has my name on it. But, in oath he is holding for me like keeping it in a trust fund until the appointed "time" arrives.

My Ancestor - The First (Mousey) Mammal. 

This is an interesting "ancestral connection" to "the mouse." According to this documentary (Life After The Dinosaurs), the very first mammal species to arise after dinosaurs became extinct, (and) which is ancestral to all mammals living today including humans, was that of a tiny mouse-like mammal:

Not an egregore.

I'm not an expert regarding an egregore, so I'm not sure what it really is other than a collective thought-form made manifest. With this understanding in mind, my experience was not contact with an egregore. No humanoid form of any kind was associated with this being during this experience (or has ever been in my experience). It was humanoid only in the sense that he was "a he" in the same way I am "a she". We were both made of the same "stuff." A thought-form lacks the complexity of being that characterizes "the stuff" human beings are made of. Neither did I experience an "astral vision." My experience was one of action, not mere sight. My complete consciousness left my body and was pulled up into the very heart of the Cosmos by the familiar masculine "personality" known to me from before I was born and who had been experientially "with me" all through early childhood. This being had independent will and was spiritually cohesive similar to that of a "person." I'm not a psychologist, but I imagine that an egregore, being the thoughtform construct of a collective would be a bit on the incohesive side (given the multiplicity and diversity of the people who construct the thoughtform) and not as psychologically cohesive as an entity existing as a being in its own right.

Cycles of Ragnarok - The Connections.

This little bit of lore could also fit my experience in an esoteric sense, so perhaps I need to study the deeper significance of the Ragnarok mythos:

The Odin Brotherhood: According to the legends, one man and one woman will escape the holocaust of Surt by taking refuge in "The-World-Tree-of-Knowledge."

The fact that the mouse in my experience can link to the rising up of the common ancestor of all mammals (after the extinction of the dinosaurs) is wyrdly congruent with the concept of Ragnarok as well, as both the extinction of the dinosaurs and Ragnarok mark grand turnings of the cycle of evolution - the end of one era and the beginning of a new one.

*UPDATE -  Old Norse Heimdallr, equivalent to heim(r) home, world + dallr, perhaps cognate with Old English deall bold, renowned. - Reminds me of the bit from the old Star Trek series:

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no (wo)man has gone before.