Friday, November 10, 2006

Yirat Hashem

I dreamt. I was observing.

It was Nazi-era time in modern times. The Nazis were here in the United States, gathering up Jews and sending them to camps.

One Jewish woman and her Jewish husband were picked up by higher-ranking Nazi officials and driven to a prison. She was in "production management". He was also a powered professional type of some sort. Pillars of the community.

One of the chief Nazis put the husband and wife into the back seat of his vehicle away from the rest of the Jewish prisoners. The woman was the main focus. The man was "along for the ride" as her "attached" husband.

They rode with the Nazi to a prison where he had orders to carry out. He was going to let them survive as his servants. The idea that they were now "bakers" came into the dream.

While there, the two were further separated from the rest of the community and taken to a "guest" room. The hired workers in the prison were ordered to bring the two food while the Nazi went about his business.

Maybe they would be treated OK, the two thought, maybe everyone won't know that they are really prisoners. Maybe they would have a better fate than the rest of the community through this servant-alliance with the high-ranking Nazi.

When the workers delivered the food, they saw that the man and woman were really Jewish servant-prisoners, not hired workers. The hired help didn't want to give the two the "good" food that "free" people eat. So, the workers gave the two "lesser" food like the prisoners in the prison received from their Nazi captors.

The man and woman realized then that their identities wouldn't be kept secret and that people would know that they were just "Jewish capos" in the service of a Nazi. Life had been irrevocably changed no matter how they had tried to hold on to a life of "honor" through the association with the Nazi.

New information was revealed to the Nazi as he went about his business. The Jewish woman in his service was responsible for stirring up wrathful resistance in Jerusalem. The Nazi received orders from his superiors that he could no longer keep the two in his service. They would have to be delivered into the Jewish prisoner population to receive whatever fate the rest of the Jewish prisoners were fated to receive.

The focus of the dream changed. I was "in" the dream as a form now, holding a medicine bubble pack like those at work - a job I hate doing as the nature of the work is against the strengths of my personality. I could have kept the jobs I relatively liked, had I been willing to sacrifice my shabbat observance (as little and as humble as it is). But, I am like a butler in the service of Hashem. So, I sacrificed my good jobs as opposed to shabbat.

I looked down at the bubble pack containing four pink [1] pills and was grateful for the job I hated. It had somehow saved me being killed by the Nazis.

I woke up.


[1] In this context, "pink" ציפורן is related to the concept to the refusal to "bow down" to the idol (ba'al Zephon בעל צפן) of materialism and popular honor. Pink (over Zephon) has the additional gematria of 216 = יראה.

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