Message From Ehyeh

ו' באב תשס"ז

I dreamt a many layered-dream.

In one part of the many-layered dream, 4 men approached me. Each one had a mark engraved like a frontlet (Devarim 6:8) on his forehead. They said they had come to help me.

This is the symbol I saw upon the forehead of each one:

It reminds me of the seals of the planetary angels of Sefer Yetzirah (chapter 4) and of the angelic alphabet some kabbalists use, although this particular symbol doesn't look like any specific symbol I've seen before in books (although it does resemble Poseidon's trident) [1]. This symbol is a composite of the letter tet (ט) and two vavim (ו, one up and one down) and has a combined gematria of 21, the same gematria as the Divine Name, Ehyeh (אהיה). I saw the symbol 4 times, on the foreheads of 4 "angels" who appeared as men, representing the 4 universes of created reality (atzilut, beriyah, yetzirah and assiyah).

The 4th multiple of 21 is 84, the same gematria as Hanoch (חנוך), the angel Metatron.

Footnote:

[1] Poseidon is the Greek god of earthquakes, i.e., earth-shaking like in my dream-vision Storm Brewing and in the Manhattan explosion as described in Sympathetic Telepathy.

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Zehira Ila'a & Radical Refocus

no angels or sheidim need apply ...

Likely as an answering observation to Chaim A.'s multiple email inquiries regarding shin-daleds, Jack-O-Lantern's entry regarding Selichot Of Darkness, a recent anonymous comment on my livejournal regarding a dream earlier this past year about a spider and shem hameyuchad, and recently beginning new study of Sefer HaBahir, I dreamt.

I אנוכי was in the middle of nowhere (see chalal hapanui), riding as a front seat passenger in a car (i.e., chariot, vehicle) with my mother (who was driving) and my grandmother (who was in the middle of the back seat), traveling at night (see pachad Laylah, Tehilim 91:5) down a deserted country road. Trees of a dark forest lined the road.

Suddenly, the headlights went out and no longer illumined the road upon which we were traveling. It was completely and absolutely dark תא outside of the vehicle. Not a trace of light penetrated the night to light even the outline of the road.

My mother brought the vehicle to a stop (see Sefer HaBahir and "radical shift in focus"). During the stop, the car remained on the road - I could still "feel" (see noge'ah v'eino nogeáh) the road beneath our feet (the wheels of the car), even though we three (ש) inside the car could not see the road. My grandmother mentioned that someone had suggested that there were demons in these woods (like lions and tigers and bears?) and that was the reason for the current absence of light. The demons were outside, she thought.

Ridiculous! I don't see any demons. Besides, if demons did really exist (which I didn't believe they did), they couldn't come near me anyway, so just forget about demons. There aren't any - just call me Dorothy-Matat (see zehira ila'a, the source of kedushah & the malach "matat"). We can get through these woods!

Here's the plan, I said to my mother and grandmother - if I go out (see kohenet and 4-headed shin of messianic consciousness) את of the car and step into the darkness תא, I'll be able to uniquely see אתתא the road. You'll both be able to see me (for some reason, like the light of the shechinah directly illumines the kinneret, I could "draw" out - given that את comes to add and through Yerushalayim draws out - light from the headlights to illumine me as I walked down the road). I'll walk down the yellow line in the middle of the road and you (my mother) can drive the car behind me down the road. In this manner, we'll get through the darkness, back to civilization and home.

And that's what we did. I got out of the car, saw the yellow line in the center of the road, and walked upon it. The light of the headlights came out and illumined me as I walked. My mother drove and followed in the car behind me and we got through the dark forest, back to civilization and back home uneventfully.

Right before I woke up, I was a visitor in a hospital where my grandmother was getting an EKG and a checkup. "Dr. Dave" came through the door - he and his new family were doing well now, he said. He asked me if I remembered him and seemed pleased that I did. Oddly, there had been a sick physician in the dream of the same night immediately preceding the aforementioned spider dream. He was doing well now since that first dream.

I woke up.

Express in truth, whatever the soul reveals; for with each spark of truth, torches of light assemble, illuminating the whole world, and from such fragments of inner truth will the Great Truth emerge. [Rav Kook, Lights Of Holiness 1:168]

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Anakim / Original Intention Gone Wrong

Exploring the origin of the word anak ענק, as found in Devarim 1:28 regarding the bnei Anakim (giants), Balashon writes:

In modern Hebrew, a ma'anak מענק is a grant.

One of the cognate meanings [1] of the root [2] ענן is grant/bestow (חנן) . So, perhaps it is possible that a primary root of anakim is not ענק at all, but rather is ענן, and then even more primary than that root, would be the original root חנן. This would mean maybe that the one נ was absorbed by the other נ (somewhat similarly to the concept of chasrei peh-nun) and that in doing this, the "k" sound fell from the beginning (ח) of the word to the end (ק) of the word.

I don't know if this makes grammatical sense, but it certainly makes sense in terms of meaning. The anakim were seen as giants or noblemen, yet "skewed" in some manner. The de-evolution of purpose (to bestow, חנן) in this manner (חנן to ענן to ענק) hints at an "original intention" gone wrong.

Importantly, this also hints as to the tikkun of the bnei Anakim.

Footnotes:

[1] "Cognate roots generally share consonants which originate in a common vocal organ. Each of the 3 consonants of a cognate must have its 'partner' in the other roots in order to be part of the cognate family. Cognate roots share a general meaning." Etymological Dictionary Of Biblical Hebrew, R' Matityahu Clark.

[2] The root ענן carries the meaning to 'fructify through rain clouds'. Etymological Dictionary Of Biblical Hebrew, R' Matityahu Clark.

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Yeshibah (Sitting) - As Above, So Below

In my previous post, I wrote:

One flaming spark came through the roof and landed in my mother's bed with her sitting up in it.

What symbolism can be revealed in the phrase “sitting up”? I asked myself. Rambam discusses the word sitting (yeshibah) in The Guide Of The Perplexed (Moreh Nevuchim, vol. I, chap.11). Shlomo Pines translates this discussion as follows (with some additional footnotes added by me*):

Sitting (yeshibah). The first meaning given to this term in our language was that of being seated. Thus: Now Eli the priest sat upon a seat [1]. But in view of the fact that a sitting individual is in a state of the most perfect stability and steadiness [2], this term is used figuratively to denote all steady, stable, and changeless states [3]. Thus, when promising Jerusalem permanence and stability while she is in possession of the highest ranks, scripture says: She will rise and sit in her place [4]. And it also says: He maketh the barren woman to sit in her house [5]; which means that He makes her firm and steady [6]. In the latter sense it is said of G-d, may He be exalted: Thou, O L-rd, sitteth for all eternity [7, 8]; O Thou who sittest in the heaven [9]; He that sitteth in the heaven [10]. That is, the stable One [11] who undergoes no manner of change, neither a change in His essence – as He has no modes [12] besides His essence with respect to which He might change – nor a change in His relation to what is other than Himself – since, as shall be explained later, there does not exist a relation with respect to which He could change.

The passage goes on, but this portion will suffice at the moment. It is significant to note the phrase in red as it pertains to sitting -> in my dream, my mother [13] is sitting, existing as a relation with respect to which He could change.

tzav letzav, kav lakav, ze’er sham, ze’er sham ... Kabbalah & Telepathy

see marzipan here and here

Footnotes:

[1] I Shmuel 1:9

[2]* hishtavut, equanimity, shiviti

[3]* atzmut

[4] Zecharyah 14:10

[5] Tehilim 113:9 – *in her house in her bed, hitkalelut (dream/torah)

[6] steadfast*, Tehilim 25:10

[7] Eicah 5:19

[8]* Netzach, victory, Reconstructing Rachel

[9] Tehilim 123:1

[10] Tehilim 2:4

[11]* Echad

[12] khal, Modes were attributed to G-d by some of the latter Mutazilites, notably by Abu Hisham (d. 933) and his followers.

[13]* partzuf imma

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In Five Days

I dreamt.

It was nighttime. I was in my parents' house. Something was going on outside, all in the house were awakened by some commotion.

The sky was lit up by falling rockets which were also fireballs. They were showering the town and falling all around the house as well. One flaming spark came through the roof and landed in my mother's bed with her sitting up in it. It was just an outer spark of a fireball, so it just evaporated into nothing and didn't burn her or anything.

We heard the news. California was waging war with the town we lived in. The town wouldn't acquiesce to California's dictates, so California had declared war on it, showering the town with fireball rockets.

I woke up. "In 5 days" (ה) and/or "5 days" (ה), I heard both phrases (י) simultaneously in one (א) phrase.

Sigh. Gelaw.

ithapcha chashocha lenehora, transforming the pulsa denura:
from night to day

in my parents' house -> abba & imma in olam ha'atzilut
something -> love the "revealed something"
all were awakened -> the pinteleh yid was aroused
the sky -> in which the messianic reality flies
lit up by fireballs -> lashes of fire
showering -> messianic sparks
one flaming spark -> the messianic soul spark
through the roof -> fenced, the messianic spark didn't "fall off it"
the bed -> revealing the good in the apparent bad
fire - > din transformed to gevurah
nothing - > bitul bimtzuit mamash
California -> west coast, ateret hayesod, the source of malchut
a state of war -> a state of extroversion, the "run" in ratzo v'shov
dictates -> beit din, convert
5 -> the power of expression ה
both phrases -> tzimtzum י; nekudah tovah, the pinteleh yid א
one phrase -> fusing the stones into achdut
woke up -> complete teshuvah, the "return" in ratzo v'shov
gelaw, malchut is the law - > baalat teshuvah

creating a messianic reality through transforming the pulsa denura

What is the power (gelaw) of teshuvah? R' Yitzchak Ginsburgh writes:

Teshuvah has the ability to avert God's punishment and subdue His anger.

Talmud Brachot 7a:

May it be Your will in front of You that Your mercy should conquer Your anger and that Your mercy should be revealed amongst Your attributes, and that You shall act with Your children using the attribute of mercy, and You should treat them to a greater extent than their judgment.

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Through The PaRDeS - 5 Levels of Torah Study

In my previous post I asked:

Why did Elisha Ben Avuyah become a heretic as a result of his trip through the PaRDeS?

In this post I ask - why did I write through the PaRDeS as distinguished from to the PaRDes? I did that because, contrary to the traditional opinion, not only did Elisha Ben Avuyah not succeed by becoming a heretic, but I posit that Rabbi Akiva didn't succeed either by merely entering and exiting in peace.

Kabbalistically understood, PaRDeS is an acronym for the 4 parts of Torah - p'shat (literal), remez (allusive), drush (homiletic, hermeneutic) and sod (secret, esoteric). Rabbi Akiva entered and exited in peace, but he still was brutally murdered by the Romans. He failed to bring down mercy, because unlike Rabbi Yishmael Ben Elisha (Brachot 7a), he failed to "bless Hashem", thereby arousing Hashem's mercy even in the context where sin is present among am Yisrael, thereby enabling the collective sin to be abrogated and forgiven.

A trip to the PaRDeS is insufficient. The PaRDeS represents 4 levels of Torah study, but there is actually a fifth level of Torah study (Sichos In English):

There is a fifth level of Torah study which unifies all the other four; it is "fear of G-d," as the Mishnah states: If there is no fear of G-d, there is no wisdom. (Avos 3:17)

This fifth level of Torah study is sufficient and able (Shakai) to redeem us from the exile of the Shechinah. Just as there is a fifth comprehensive exile of the Shechinah in addition to the 4 exiles of Bereshit 1:2, there is a fifth comprehensive redemption of the Shechinah in addition to the 4 redemptions [1] of Shemot 6:6-7. This comprehensive redemption is associated with tikkun chatzos, the midnight rectification.

Tikkun chatzos has two sections, tikkun Rachel and tikkun Leah. Through the two tikkunim of Rachel and Leah, comprehensively known as tikkun chatzos, Rav Nosan tells us that "the level of disorder becomes included in the level of order". In other words, the light of tohu is brought down into the world of tikkun, creating, as Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz has written it, "a third order of existence greater than either tikkun or tohu of itself [2]."

Taking all this together, we can see that the fifth comprehensive redemption is associated with tikkun chatzos, the midnight recitification, and with "the fear of G-d" (the feminine pillar). In other words, it is associated with the evolution of woman accomplished in the merit of Torah Lishmah, which unifies the PaRDeS and "blesses Hashem".

Footnotes:

[1] Maharal, Be'er
[2] In The Beginning, Discourses On Chassidic Thought, R' Adin Steinsaltz

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Shakai & Original Intention

In his post on the malach Metatron, Reb HaQoton writes:

The Talmud (Avodah Zarah 3b) writes that before the destruction of the Holy Temple, Metatron was charged with education all Jewish children in Torah.

He links this to the midrash in Niddah 30b, further suggesting that:

Perhaps he is the famed angel who, according to Niddah 30b, teaches babies all the Torah and wisdom possible and pinches them on their lips to create a Philtrum and make them forget all their learning right before they are born.

This is important to consider because, as Reb HaQoton further notes:

Although Metatron exerts some power over the physical world, he does not have the ability to forgive human sins as HaShem does, for he is a mere messenger of G-d. Therefore, according to the exegesis of the Talmud about Exodus 23:21, HaShem warns the Jews not to confuse Metatron with Himself. Nonetheless, some did not heed to this warning.

In my mind, it is clear then, that one way to distinguish intellectually the source of some "power" acting in the physical world - be it directly from Hashem or through the malach Metatron - is hinted at in the story of the meeting of Rabbi Yishmael Ben Elisha with Metatron as describe in the Talmud (Brachot 7a), where he directed this prayer directly to Hashem:

May it be Your will in front of You that Your mercy should conquer Your anger and that Your mercy should be revealed amongst Your attributes, and that You shall act with Your children using the attribute of mercy, and You should treat them to a greater extent than their judgment.

Hashem would have the ability to act (Shakai) in response to this prayer. Metatron would not. Why did Elisha Ben Avuyah become a heretic as a result of his trip through the PaRDeS? He asked Metatron for mercy thinking it was Hashem and Metatron couldn't deliver it in the context of sin's presence among the nation. Thinking Hashem to be merciful, this lack of mercy was evidence in the mind of Ben Avuyah that Hashem did not "exist" (for lack of a better descriptive word).

Importantly, in my own case and given that it has been posited that a malach is responsible for teaching one Torah in the womb, I must reiterate my words as written in A Mystery Of Consciousness:

There were no malachim (angels) in my memories, only you and I and others we have known, know and will know.

There were no malachim, and thus, I remain connected to the memory of my preincarnate "existence".

Moreover, as I have written in Gemara:

The two-letter hebrew root, mem-tet, symbolizes the archangel Metatron in Jewish mystical literature.There are 3 three-letter hebrew roots derived from this two-letter root, mem-tet. They are:

שמט shin-mem-tet - (remove support [1])

מלט mem-lamed-tet - (move fast and escape [1])

מוט mem-vav-tet - (totter and yoke [1])

The first two three-letter roots pertain to the psychological situation where one is dependent upon angelic support for the mystical experience of the divine chariot. It is written [Zohar I, 97b; III, 118a] that the 4 angels Gavriel, Michael, Rafael and Uriel support the divine chariot. Consequently, should one of the angels withdraw support, the chariot would collapse. Should the chariot collapse, one would need to move fast to escape the harmful repercussions of that event.

Read more ...

But, there were no malachim in my memories. What can this mean? As the Arizal has written on the Torah:

The original intention was for humankind to be conscious of G-d's Unity much more directly.

Consequently, no angels need apply. And in my case, they didn't.

Footnote:

[1] Etymological Dictionary Of Biblical Hebrew, R' Matityahu Clark

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Gemara

no angels need apply
"the original intention was for humankind to be conscious of G-d's Unity much more directly"
The Arizal On The Torah











The two-letter hebrew root, mem-tet מט, symbolizes the archangel Metatron in Jewish mystical literature.There are 3 three-letter hebrew roots derived from this two-letter root, mem-tet. They are:

שמט shin-mem-tet - (remove support [1])

מלט mem-lamed-tet - (move fast and escape [1])

מוט mem-vav-tet - (totter and yoke [1])

The first two three-letter roots pertain to the psychological situation where one is dependent upon angelic support for the mystical experience of the divine chariot. It is written [Zohar I, 97b; III, 118a] that the 4 angels Gavriel, Michael, Rafael and Uriel support the divine chariot. Consequently, should one of the angels withdraw support, the chariot would collapse. Should the chariot collapse, one would need to move fast to escape the harmful repercussions of that event.

Yet against this merkavah catastrophe comes the Talmud. The names of the 4 angelic "supports" is described by the acronym Gemara [Kehillas Yaakov, erech gemara]. In light of this knowledge, it can be seen that study of gemara moves one from a state of dependence on angelic support to a state of independence from angelic support for the mystical experience, by purifying consciousness and by promoting the ability to be supported by one's own essence in devekut with the Divine Essence.

Independence from angelic support and the ability to self-organize adaptability within all worlds is the birthright.

There are dangers associated with merkavah mysticism. In terms of mechanism, we can see that the first 3-letter root reflects removal of angelic support from one dependent upon angelic support for the mystical experience. In other words, one unworthy of coming into the Divine Presence is prevented from doing so. The second 3-letter root follows from implementation of the first root (where angelic support has been removed) and assists one not quite worthy, yet not without some merit, to escape. This second root provides the ability to move fast to avoid the immediate consequences of a collapsing chariot. To reiterate, the second root pertains to a situation where one has acquired sufficient merit to avoid immediate death.

In contradistinction to the first two 3-letter roots, the third 3-letter root pertains to a situation where one is independent of angelic support and is supported by one's own inmost essence in complete devekut with the Divine Essence. In this latter case, though one's psychospiritual equilibrium may totter (calling to mind Rabbi Akiva's description of trying with all his might to maintain balance while in Aravot), the soul's support can never be withdrawn.

This latter root also reflects an in-parallel dynamic congruent with worthiness, where the letter tav (ת the letter of truth) is anchored securely within one's soul through one's essence. This mystery is intercalated with a woman's monthly cycle - vav-samekh-tav). In consequence to purifying the heart through simple Torah study and by observing its mitzvot (particularly Taharat HaMishpacha), the connection is made to the integral balance inherent to essence.

Think of the mechanism this way. Imagine the configuration mem-vav as an immune cell defense receptor in the bloodstream of yetzirah. As an immune receptor, it functions to bind any loose letter tav (the letter of truth) floating around unbound by the body's tissues like it is an infectious sheker. Binding tav in the form of sheker activates an inflammatory-natural killer cell response with the aims of killing the infectious target and preventing sickness in the body. Now, once one achieves integral balance, one is judged good to go, and instead of tav, a tet (pervasive goodness) becomes bound to mem-vav cellular receptor in the body's bloodstream. If one is judged unworthy, then a free-floating higher avidity tav becomes bound to it.

Here in this analogical scenario, the mem of mem-vav represents the 4 worlds as manifest in yetzirah, and vav functions to discern truth in parallel with tav. A tav has higher avidity than tet and is bound mem-vav if it is free-floating. Binding a tav by mem-vav over a tet results in death - mavet or mot. The mem-vav will bind the tav if tav (truth) is not securely bound by the body through its physical actions (through doing the mitzvot).

Back to the latter 3-letter root, in this case, the mystical vessel is no longer really a chariot (a collection of dead though animated movable parts), but a living organism capable of adapting as needed to the metaphysical environment. In this manner (al mot, Shir HaShirim 1:3) is "the angel" mem-tet transformed and reintegrated into the human experience through the root mem-vav-tet.

The vessel has become a living organism capable of self-organizing adaptability able to navigate all worlds, where one's free choice (bechirah) is in harmony and aligned with The Divine Will. This too, is the birthright.

Paradoxically, it is also written that the 3-letter root, mem-vav-tet, implies loosing hold or falling apart. This might be true for one dependent upon angelic support. But, for one independent of angelic support, the root holds the exact opposite meaning and the meaning becomes "to hold together by tottering" which enables true communication "to be released" (through the word himaleit, also derived from the mem-tet root). This "loosing hold" meaning of the root, for the independent one, also acts synergistically with the word himaleit as a mechanism through which expanded consciousness releases itself from the mystical experience and "returns" to normal awareness.

[1] Etymolgical Dictionary Of Biblical Hebrew, R. Matityahu Clark

through meditating on the mishna, your soul will become a chariot ...

R. Chaim Vital, Sha'are Kedusha, 4th section; Mishna Meditiation

Express in truth, whatever the soul reveals; for with each spark of truth, torches of light assemble, illuminating the whole world, and from such fragments of inner truth will the Great Truth emerge. [Rav Kook, Lights Of Holiness 1:168]

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