Rebuilding Reality

י״א באב תש"ע
Lughnasadh 12

I had an awesome dream last night.

I was observing a highly secret experiment which had been conducted by two experimental physicists - the time seemed to be in the 1970's. The experiment involved discovering and "drilling down" into the very most basic structure of reality, into what "existed" before spacetime began.

There were two towers side by side which, when turned on, were like perpetual motion high-energy machines which "perpetually moved" spacetime back upon itself. One of the two physicists turned on the towers. The one on the left (as I faced them) worked as it was supposed to - standing immovable and strong as it moved spacetime perpetually. The one on the right spun seemingly out of control and started to collapse and crash spacetime. As it collapsed spacetime, I "saw" all of human history and existence start to crumble and crash - all of existence and history was combined and represented in the form of a collapsing skyscraper - I even saw people fall off the skyscraper into a spiraling nothingness - one person was a fireman, one was a policeman. I didn't fall, but watched it as a pure objective disembodied all-encompassing observer.

The information came into my mind then that the second experimental physicist (of the team of two scientists) which I had not seen earlier had died before completing his work - this is part of the reason the experiment had gone haywire. His name was Johnny. I saw Johnny - he was a young man in his late twenties or early thirties perhaps - and he had longish ponytail. He had been shot and murdered as a customer during the robbery (or terrorist attack) on a retail pharmacy store. I had the feeling this had not occurred in the USA, but abroad in Europe somewhere (Johnny seemed to be an American who was temporarily in Europe at the time of his murder). At this point, I felt I was actually channeling Johnny's spirit, who was "telling me his story" and leading me on into the next part of the dream.

Suddenly, everything disappeared and there was nothing. I was purely observing from a "place" before spacetime began - back beyond and before reality was created. All of reality had crashed into nothing. There was nothing - not even me. There was only my observance of nothing and the feeling of not being alone there (yet being simultaneously all there was) that "existed."

Suddenly (and these words are insufficient), there was a bluish grey essence consisting of two places in the wholeness interacting and coming together in a new way - and fixing itself. The thought accompanying this perception was that reality was being recreated. Reality had crashed beyond its beginning and was now fixing itself at the level of its essence. The bluish grey perception also reminded me of the "virtual innards" of a computer. It evoked a quiet profoundness and beauty "from me" as I observed - I also realized that I was participating in the thing I was observing - I was the essence I observed even as I observed it working.

I woke up.

Interestingly, yesterday evening before I had this dream, my computer had crashed after I had turned it on after coming home from work - but just after the screen turned blue and the "crash" message came on - the computer went into an automatic algorithm and fixed itself! It's fine today.

The computer systems at work crashed at work today also, and were down for at least two hours. They were still not working when I left at 6:00 PM, but IT had communicated to staff that they were working on restoring the computer systems and they should be back up and fixed by morning.