Saturday, January 02, 2010

Crown Jewel

י"ו בטבת תש"ע
Grael 18

Yesterday I braided a witch ladder while listening to Legends of the Goddess III. This witch ladder is made of earth tones yarn, dark brown hemp cord, nine wooden beads and a spiral Goddess charm. After completing it, I explored several places in my bedroom from which to suspend it for the night. I finally curled it up in a few circles around my fingers and placed it upon a golden hook on the wall over my bed. The Goddess charm was suspended upright upon my witch ladder, her feet pointed toward my bed.

Last night I dreamt.

I was in a public place with several people. A woman was sitting beside an open Torah. The open Torah scroll was sitting in a Torah holder. It was not on the bimah and neither was the woman. It was off the bimah, near the front but among the chairs where the congregation sits. The open Torah was not facing the the congregation or me, it was open toward the side, toward the woman.

With a look of disdain, the woman expressed to me in the presence of those gathered that "you think you know, but you don't know anything." With the Torah open, it was clear that her intention was to show me and everyone gathered that I didn't know anything, and that I wasn't as special as some people thought I was. She didn't like me, that was clear. I didn't respond.

I noted that both the woman and I were set apart somewhat from the congregation - but my separation was a separation within the gathering of the congregation - a small clear space circled around me even as I was among the congregation. We were all standing.

Her separation was different than mine - she was not placed among the congregation, she sat up in front of us, near the bimah. We were all standing up in the back of the room. She was sitting down in a folding chair at the front of the room.

As I began to wake up, but was as yet unawake, I saw that the woman had with magical intention tied my hands and feet together and hung me upside down from a rope. She wanted me to die. She felt I would indeed die. No one was going to help me and, in her mind, I didn't know anything and wouldn't be able to escape her black magic against me.

But, like my witch ladder the evening before (even with my hands and feet still tied), I curled the rope up and around in circles, throwing my body upwards with the process like doing a sommersault in midair. I landed crouched on my feet in the velvety deep garnet middle of a huge royal crown. The perimeter of the crown was like a circle around me. From within the circle of the crown, I easily untied my hands and feet. Then I stood up, straight and tall. I felt like a crown jewel.

A masculine Voice spoke in my mind, telling me that I was standing "like Kaman (כמן)", and "not Haman (המן)."

I woke up.

Images of my Goddess witch ladder (and magical staff) ...


Dare to be true to yourself.