The End Of Innocence

כ'ה ניסן תשס"ט
Raven 25

I dreamt.

It was back in the days of the Arthurian legends. I was a young queen-princess. An unusually adept rider of horses and chariot racer for a woman in those days, I competed in many of the kingdom's races. I always won. I won this particular race too - one in which my 'handmaid' rode in the chariot with me. She rode with me for the reason of 'royal propriety' and properliness for a royal lady.

Though I won the race, as an observer in the dream and in mindlink with the handmaid, I knew that the kingdom's racers had not competed as hard as they could have because I was the royal lady. They didn't let me win, they just didn't compete as strongly as they could have. Consequently, neither they nor I were driven to push past our already superb racing abilities. The victory was not as full as it could have been, even though it was a good race.

The race over, I went to meet my knightly lover. I entered into his humble dwelling. He was in another room bathing after returning from a knightly journey. I went over to the bed beautifully made with a richly red brocade bedspread. Yet, I sensed something was amiss.

I looked around. The room was clean, simple and fresh. Sensing like a pea under the mattress, I looked under the bed. Even though the floor was clean, there underneath the bed, was another woman's broom. I jerked it out!

Like a javelin, I threw it across the room with amazing force bristles first. Like a spear, it stuck in the wall by its bristled end on account of the great laser-like power with which I had thrown it. Nothing would ever be the same between us again. Oddly, I knew the knight loved this queen-princess even though he had cheated on her. She was his one and only love. But the queen-princess was not his equal in this long ago time - she had been innocent. He was not. She was innocent no more.

I have my own broom now. Come out of the bathing room if you dare.

The dream changed. I saw the mother of the queen-princess. She and her husband were in their more elaborate but still simply elegant bedroom. She was standing beside the bed folding or unpacking clothes after her husband had also returned from a journey. As an observer in the dream, I saw that the woman wore a pendant exactly like my heirloom quality handcrafted silver and gold pentacle adorned with Celtic knots. She wore matching Celtic tree of life earrings on her ears.

The husband had just entered into the room. Not innocent, he had cheated on his wife while off on the journey. They both knew it. It was no secret between them. They were confronting the potential ramifications. The woman was not stricken because her husband had cheated, as men did in those days because women were not 'actualized equals' and couldn't keep up. The woman was stricken because her husband had cheated on her with a particular woman - one that put her in jeopardy. Things would never be the same again between them. I knew that they were soul mates and loved only one another, but it was the end of her innocence. She was going to descend into the deep dark places of the Underworld, into full actuality, and meet him as an equal. He would never feel the need or want to cheat again. She would completely fill his vision and be all that he could see.

I woke up with the words uttering through my mind, "Isis wounded me."