Discovery Of A Lifetime

In the world, littlest-i felt al-ONE, an outsider falling apart. Then G-d taught me to crawl, so I would not fall. The first uncovering began at the Kingdom of my psyche. "Be still and know that I am ONE." Hearing, i remembered Home with longing. The Decision was made to Go Home whatever the cost, but i was confused by crossing arrows. i prayed. G-d heard and Providence set The Way within me, putting a brace on my back, to straighten My Path and strengthen me for The Journey. i learned to be conscious of my senses, movements and ideas; to distinguish my will; to seek inward, and acquired stamina and Grounding life experience in the First Temple of the body.

... GOing through my Foundation i, iI realized that I was not daughter, wife, mother, professional, neighbor, friend. i was all these things. What was I? What then were You? What then were We? were questions iI asked. Sensitized, what is This within me pressing for Freedom? i asked. Layers were removed. Awakened, iI was heading to a Land i did not Understand. My marriage ended. Hope began.

iI determined to do life rightly. Learning became an insatiable Desert thirst. iI became Bursting Full from questioning, seeking Truth in ideas, sifting and sorting and assimilating, embracing paradox, synthesizing the experience of living, and exploring, boldly going Places i had never gone before like Michigan to be a research biochemist. Now, i liked being a research biochemist, but I was annoyed that i was satisfied with this. I wanted To Discover. Shadows on the Wall and Clouds Outside were dark with Fiery Fury. Light Breathed in a Stillness and illuminated illumined creatures living in the dark fiery crisis to Integrity and Broken Idols. To be or not to be, that was the question. Choices between Truth or pretending not to see, Judgment and Mercy, to destroy or be a Light, were questions demanding answers. May my Compassion be Greater than my Anger, I prayed. In choosing Truth, Justice and Light, in losing the life of i, I secured the life of I. Charity was born, destined in a dream for Victory through the Just-right hand of Mercy in a Struggle toward Understanding, the Spark Driving my need to know, to know.

Going Up, Coming Down, Looking Up ...

In a dream, I am Jewish, from Jewish ancestry, a line ubeyn David and Solomon. Leaving Michigan, Ii headed Home, i's life shattered. i heard a Voice that shook my Second Temple ego bare with the sound of fire and a song, a timeless melody. I saw with the Eye of the Heart ONE who brings low and lifts up. I remembered ONE, a Covenant, and recognized the root of me in the writings of physicist Murray Gell-Mann and Jewish mystic Lawrence Kushner. I Breathed In The Name of G-d. Just Looking became Seeing. There was no going back. I was Coming Home. Cleaning up for the Day After Sunrise, the Dark voice of an Amalekite spoke a claim it did not own. Where did my help come from? My help came from Adonai Havayah, Maker of heaven and earth, Owner of the Alter. Real Faith was born from Awe in the House of Yisrael. To ONE enthroned in heaven, I have Lifted My Eyes Waiting, so as not to have labored in vain.

And from that moment on, my world changed, real life began ...